Ugh...
Today already wasn't going well, at least not in this world of nightmares created by drugs. I felt groggy, not to mention I felt like I'd been drugged. Well, double drugged somehow. Now officially grouchy, hungry, and sleepy, I had become at my worst state in a combo.
The good news was? I'd woken up somewhere dark.
Which would ease my aching eyes and headache filled cranium.
The bad news was? I'd woken up somewhere dark.
I have no idea to move in the dark without stumbling on some random object and drawing attention to the room and letting my captors know I'm awake. Seeing as they didn't bind me, I doubt they were planning to use me very much for anything.
Now at this point, there was nothing left to do but sit there in the dark room I'd assumed to be some sort of bedroom. If the soft cushy fabric I was laying on was any indication I wasn't in a dungeon. Obviously, I doubt there was nice big bed for criminals. I rubbed the back of my head where I'd been apparently bludgeoned.
How peculiar...
The thought suddenly occurred to me, curiously I note that there was no visible sign of where whatever blunt object that knocked me had ever even hit me. What was more unnerving, was the fact that I'd felt like I'd been drugged- When I had clearly been knocked out. What manner of sorcery was this?
I had no idea.
Suddenly, the door swung open and a light was flipped on-
JESUS CHRIST!
Though I didn't vocally express my ire, it showed in the form of an irked glare that I manage to pass off before I was forced by instincts to use my hooves to rub me eyes free of any pain- It didn't alleviate it in the slightest, but it did make me feel better. After blinking and rubbing away at the spots in my vision I was finally able to see who was responsible for my kidnapping. It was that stupid Unicorn 'Twi'. She nervously rubbed at her leg while she sat on her haunches in the door way.
"I'm... sorry about knocking you out. I overreacted." She started off, all slow and sweet like I'd fall for her propaganda bullshit. I went to tell her to shove her words where the sun don't shine but I was interrupted by her- apparently not finished. "But! You need professional help." The way she was using small words made me think that she was undermining my intelligence. For a hallucination, that wasn't very much like one. Suspicious. I tried to think of something to say, anything at all.
"Go fuck yourself!" It wasn't the most appropriate response, but she wasn't making this easy for me. I just wanted to explore this awesome new world, and she was trying to contain me in this house to put me into hell. Immediately, I jumped off the bed and put on a fearsome scowl. I ran toward the large pony in an attempt to run under her legs, which was a success as she flinched- not having been prepared for me to run at her in such hostility. After running from under her legs, I weaved around the corner- And came to my current biggest weakness.
Stairs.
I felt like I was suddenly a paraplegic. Now, I could try jumping up on the rail and sliding down- But, it looked new and frail. Not well built. I could fall and damage myself. But this was a hallucination! I couldn't actually hurt myself. Right? But my hooves wouldn't let me move. I was frozen in fear from thinking about falling off. I remembered poking my hoof on my horn, so pain could still happen. Egg-Head was right on me, and boy did she look annoyed. No, there had to be another way around this. The answer came in the form of a brown box that was to my left, but I had to stall. No, I didn't have enough time to stall. I only had one option...
"Don't do it!" She was just out of arm's reach. She seemed to panic.
I had to jump. So, like an idiot- I did.
The stairs were pretty high up, actually. Upon jumping, I realized my grave error. I could feel the wind from falling from this height. That meant I can feel pain. Is this really a hallucination? I could only hope that the landing wouldn't hurt too much. I saw the floor rushing up to meet me halfway like a true pal. I clenched my eyes shut. bracing for the pain I knew was coming- And it sure didn't disappoint. I felt a blunt agonizing pain shoot through my body- I'd landed head first from high up.
I blacked out once again from the pain. The last thing I heard were multiple hooves running over to me and the calling for medical assistance.
"DEAR CELESTIA! Spike! SPIKE! Get help! NOW!"
Grudgingly, I forced myself awake- my head was spinning, metaphorically, as I pried open my unwilling eyelids-
Aggh, sunlight right in the eyes.
Squinting, I turned my head upward to escape the damnable sun. It was all for naught, as the sun had brought back up. Artificial lights. Wincing, I tried looking anywhere- everywhere but where there would be light. Alas, everywhere I looked there a bright light that hurt my eyes like never before. It was then that the familiar strong smell of bleach filled my nostrils- causing me to flinch from the suddenness. I knew where I was by heart. A hospital. Now the only question remained, was I actually in a hospital for drug over-dose and likely running into traffic? Or, was I still in the hallucination? I remember falling, and a bunch of pain. I could tell, currently I was doped up- The pain was just lurking behind the abundance of pain killers ready to turn my world into hurt. I looked down at my hands for confirmation-
No, hooves. Hooves, for confirmation. I was still a horse. I heaved a sigh of relief. Nothing had gone terribly wrong, and I'd still have the chance to explore this place. It was just then a nurse had entered, she looked surprised that I was woke. Torn between keeping me company and going to do something else- likely getting the doctor- she gazed between me and the door.
"...Stay here sweetie, I'll be right back with the doctor." Stay here said the horse. You know, now that I realized it- my leg was stuck in a cast. I couldn't move it. Don't they put down other horses with a broken leg?
OH SHIT!
Nope nope nope, I wasn't going to be turned into glue. I wasn't quite sober, but I knew my immediate danger and needed to find a way out of it. I sluggishly glanced around the room for anything to put together. It'd actually take me a few hours, but I could do it. But just like with the stair incident, I didn't have time to stall. I'm actually a very good engineer. In my own humble opinion, I could make all sorts of things. I could build computers, guns, submarines, cars- All from scratch. I'm extremely experienced in coding, and could even do Ruby. I was once a hired hacker. But none of this would help me now I'd need to figure out how to get out of here.
"Look who's awake!"
Fuck!
"FUCK ME!" The doctor looked shell-shocked at my avid use of vocabulary. Not outright just shocked, I think he was a little green. "Jesus Christ, don't you guys knock?"
"I did. Several times, actually." Oh. "I didn't believe her when she said it- But I guess it's true. You're..." He moves over to the side of my bed, looking very concerned. "Has anyone... done anything inappropriate, like...Say, touch your private areas?" Plenty of people, I'm a grown man. Why would a horse ask me this question?
"Well... yes, but I don't see why this is any of your business Doctor." I was very uncomfortable with his questions, a perv doctor was not on my list of things to sit next to. "Is this about a sexual disease or something? I swear I'm clean doctor, I use condoms! When I'm in the mood... Oh my God, please tell me I don't have STD..."
Click-Clat
Wondering what the sound was, I gazed down to the Doctor's hooves. And there lied the clipboard that he had been somehow holding in his front hoof.
"Does this mean I have STD?"
BANG.
Whirling my head to the door, there two three ponies lying in a heap- gaping at me, apparently having had been ear hustling. One Egg-Head, one Rainbow Jerk, and one canary colored pink maned winged pony. I could only wonder why everyone was so shocked, before I just remembered my physical age. What was I... Nine? Ten?
"I fucked up didn't I?"