Chapter 21: Fuckin shit up at the Grand Gallopin Gala
-Xavier's Recap-
Ever since Pinkie's party, I have made good effort to try to get along with Rarity. Fluttershy was starting to rest easy in knowing how hard I was trying. Each time the fashionista whined about dirt getting in her hair or getting on her hooves... To summarize it, I've grown the habit of biting my lips shut to refrain from yelling at her. Although I can't say I hate her anymore, I won't say that she will not be the target of my pranks. One time, Pinkie, Dash and I were at it again with our pranks with each of us picking our own target. I did the old shit-in-the-flaming-bag trick with Rarity. For an extra kick, I rigged the bag to explode, and she got covered in shit! I thought it'd be hilarious, but it didn't feel the same when I actually made her cry that time. I actually felt bad. I may have over did it... I needed help with dealing with my repressed emotions, so I asked Twilight and Fluttershy for help. Twilight went straight to her books while Fluttershy got me to help her animals. If I can have patience with the animals, then I'll have enough patience with any pet peeves. Well, that's what she told me. Twilight took time off her schedule to listen to the things that bothered me, and about Rarity. Of course I ended up telling her in greater detail about Samantha. It helps to have someone other than Jack to talk to. She is kinda my fillyfriend too. This went on for a few weeks. I actually felt like I was making progress.
I've also been making a lot of effort to spend some time with the kids. I've been hanging around with the Cutie Mark Crusaders/Gang just to hang out wit my little sis. I had noticed that since we've been here, I haven't really been hanging out with her as much as I did with her, and frankly I didn't want her to get the idea that I'm letting the pony girls separate us. One day, I even got bro to hang out with us too, and to loosen up. A bonus would be Jonathan's appreciation. He needed a break from being the only guy in the group. I was beginning to think that Spike should be hanging around the group as well, but he's too busy being Twi's 'number one assistant.' I told him that I'm sure he'd appreciate being around chicks all the time when he's older. For some reason, only Scootaloo knew what I meant by it. This was followed by a huge "EEEEEEW" from her. Maybe they can start hanging out in her room also after school instead of just that one small clubhouse. Just food for thought.
-End of Recap-
(Sunday April 23rd)
The very first thing I did when waking up was look at the calendar. I noticed a blue circle scribbled around today's date along with my gala ticket taped to the calendar. Oh right. Today's the day we go to Canterlot to attend this Grand Galloping Gala. What was I going to wear? Well, I had a navy blue suit, red shirt, and black tie in my closet, just waiting for me to break it out. After my morning routine, throwing on jeans and another hoodie, I went out to see what my little harem was up to. Jack was already gone. Besides, it's not like I had anything to do today. Human services were closed today for this very event.
My first stop was the Library. I just wanted to check in to see what Twilight was up to and if she needed any help getting ready for the gala. I knocked on the door, not even Spike answered. Next stop, I headed to Sugarcube Corner to see if Pinkie was there, and to maybe get some baked goods there. I was only half in luck. Pinkie had left to go somewhere. I thank Mrs. Cake and paid her for the granola bars. I then went to Fluttershy's cottage. Knowing her, she was probably still feeding the animals. When I got there, I knocked on the door...
...but nobody came...
Nearly giving up, I had decided to head over to Sweet Apple Acres, only to run into Jack on the way there. Apparently his gal isn't there. That could only mean one thing. I had a good idea where they were now. It's the place where I had attempted to avoid going to ever since we were abducted from Earth by a magic cloud. The fucking girliest merry-go-round I've ever had the displeasure of stepping through...
Fucking Rarity's...
Jack could read my facial expression. He knew I knew where they most likely were. He also knew how I felt about it. I guess if I wanted to try to be friends with Rarity like the others want me to, I guess I'd have to try my hardest to put the bad thoughts aside. And boy did I try. When we got there, we saw a giant apple-shaped carriage along with a pair of our clients, looking pretty love-struck for some reason.
"Hey Caramel, Lucky. Say, what're you two doing here pulling carriages?"
"Oh nothing, we're just doing a favor for Rarity." Oh goddammit... she fucking didn't...
Taking a deep breath, I sighed. "I'm sure she well appreciates what you're doing here." Poor saps don't know that they aren't gonna get any. I walked past the two and knocked on Rarity's door. Spike opened the door.
"Oh hey Xavier. Hey Jack. We were wondering when you were gonna show up." He looked around. "Where are the others?"
"They're either asleep or eating breakfast." Jack said.
"They're coming to the gala, don't worry. It's not until this evening." I reassured him.
"Well, now that you're here, come on in. I'll let the girls know you're here." Spike said. I 'attempted' to walk through the front door, but was sent flying back... by my own doing..
"Oh I'm sorry Spike, but it seems that every manly fiber in my body refuses to enter that building."
Spike just rolled his eyes, shaking his head. Tough crowd. But hey, I keep forgetting he's pretty much 'whipped' for Rarity. Jack laughed though.
"Haha! You'd sound just like Jeff if he was actually funny!"
I mustered enough strength to walk inside of the merry-go-round house and waited. Spike was getting a bit impatient after a while and attempted to get into the room with the girls.
"Spike, if there's one thing you should know about women is that they love taking all day prettying themselves up when they know guys are waiting."
Jack nodded his head in agreement. Spike left them alone. For the next few hours, we sat there waiting for the girls to be done with Spike talking about how him and Twilight were born and raised in Canterlot, and Twilight's library there. It was then that one of the girls called Spike in for something. When Spike came out, he sat back down.
"The girls said that they'd rather you see them at the gala first, so uh..."
"They want us to leave?" I said, raising an eyebrow.
"NO! No. Not at all, but... well, yeah, they do."
Jack and I looked at each other. I gave a disappointed shrug that I had just sat there for ours for no reason. "Sure. Later Spike." We left and went back. Looking back at the apple buggy, there wasn't going to be enough room for all of us anyway. Guess we'll find our own way there. It was around noon when Jack and I left Rarity's. Jack went home to get his things together while I went to ask Lyra if she could watch the young ones. She wanted to, but she had plans today. She'd usually never pass up an opportunity to be in charge of little humans. I guess Hiroto's old enough to take charge. I was heading back home when I ran into Jack again. He told me that we were pretty much ready to go on to Canterlot.
"Already? Are we taking the train?"
Jack's grin grew wide. "Nope. We're taking the DJ Shade Mobile."
No....fucking.....way....
-no one's POV-
The girls arrived at the Gala that evening. This was the night that they have been patiently waiting for. There were carriages in front of them dropping off their clients. Spike, being the gentleman he is, opened the door of the giant apple-shaped buggy for Twilight and her friends. The way they looked had Spike on stun for a while.
"Woah! You all look amazing!"
Twilight beheld the sight before her. "I can't believe we're finally here. With all that we've imagined, the reality of this night is sure to make this..." She didn't start singing like you thought she did. Something was missing. No. Someone was missing. Some people were missing.
"Hey! Where's Xavier and the humans?!" Rainbow asked. "They said they'd be here!"
"Ah dunno, but ah know they wouldn't just up and- ...ya'll hear that?"
Just then, a noise made everyone's head turn. They started to hear music.
The girls saw a black polished self-propelling buggy drive up to where the ponies were being dropped off. It had neon blue lights glowing below it, and the lights infront of it glowed a light blue in front of it. The buggy parked itself on the grass. The four doors opened up and the four humans stepped out, all wearing suits. Xavier wearing a navy blue suit, dark red shirt and a black tie, Traevon wearing Navy Blue, a dark blue shirt and a teal tie, Jack wearing a black suit and tie with a purple shirt and a black vest. Jeff wore a black suit and a green shirt. All of them were wearing shades, and were standing there facing the girls, lined up side by side with their arms crossed, as if they just finished giving the girls a show with their entrance.
The reactions on the mare's faces were priceless. They weren't even sure if these were the humans they knew from Ponyville anymore. Rarity's mouth dropped, Twilight just stared in awe, Fluttershy showed mixed emotions from intimidated to fascination. With her wings now flared, Rainbow had a huge blush and a cheery grin on her face, blabbering "So cool" as Xavier flashed her and Twilight a sly smirk. Applejack was staring at her boyfriend the entire time. Of course, needless to say, this attracted attention from everyone else as well. The four humans were drawing in a crowd. Their flyness drew attention to other mares too.
-Xavier's POV-
Being hugged by Rainbow, I noticed we were starting to draw a crowd. Rainbow was glaring at the other mares fiercely.
"Monkey boy is mine! Get your own cool human, whorses!" I couldn't help but chuckle at this when the mares started staring at the others.
"He's mine too, you know."
"I'd like to think both of you are mine." I told them both. "You both look positively stunning on this fine night. I can see why you wanted me to wait." This made my two mares blush.
"Well, you look pretty dashing yourself."
"Can't spell 'dashing' without Dash." Dash commented.
"Calm down Skittles. We have a Gala to go to."
"I'll park the car." said bro.
Jeff stayed with Bro when he parked the car, if anything to get away from the crowd.
"So uh... that's one of those self propelling buggy that you were talking about?" Twilight asked while watching the car get parked.
"It's called a car. We'll show you how it works when we get back. And hey, maybe we'll give you a ride if you're all good girls, and also if bro lets us. Heh, back at home, he'd never let me ride in it. He thought I'd break something or whatever."
They both giggled. "That'll be an interesting experience."
"I guess it would be."
"Now that you're all here, this will be the best night ever!" then Twilight started singing. "At the gala, at the gala-" I noticed complete strangers joining in her little song. Ponies... I guess this is something they do that I would never get used to. Then everypony started singing. Heck, at some point in their song, they looked at us expecting me to join in. Only one of the four of us did, and you can take a wild guess who. Twi sung about being with her mentor, Rainbow about meeting the Wonderbolts, Fluttershy about the animals in the gardens, Rarity about meeting some prince to marry, Applejack of course selling her baked apple goods Don't ask me how she fit her stand in that carriage. I don't know. My guess? Magic. Jack sung about staying with Applejack and meeting new people. Jack, you're giving me a headache.
After their little song ended, the girls went their separate ways leaving poor Spike all by himself.
"Don't worry, Spike. You can hang out with me." I told him. "Or with Jack. I don't think he'd mind a third wheel tagging along."
"Aren't you gonna hang with Rainbow or Twilight?" Spike asked.
"Maybe a little bit, but another thing to know about dating, girls need their space." I said, looking at Twilight and the Princess talking. I guess I could at the very least greet the princess in thanks for the invitations. I walked up to her. "Sup Princess?"
"Greetings, my little human friends."
"Heheh. I guess that's what you're calling us now? I guess that's alright."
"Did all of you come? I can understand why some of you wouldn't after what happened earlier today."
She's indirectly asking if bro came. "...Yes. Bro is here."
"Wait... What happened earlier today?" Twilight asked.
"I'll tell ya after the party." I responded. Bro walked in shortly after. "Well, here comes your crush, Princess." I joked. "Anyway, I'm gonna go wander around with Spike here." I gave Twilight a quick kiss, to the surprise of the Princess and every pony that saw it, and left them. I could hear Pinkie singing from the ball room. She was that loud. Poor dancers. I came across the gardens where i found Fluttershy chasing a bird, and Rarity with a blond-maned white stallion. I hope that stallion doesn't end up whipped too...
"Well hello. I am Prince Blueblood." the stallion greeted. A goddamn prince, whipped by Rarity.
"I am Rarity." She had her eyes on a rose in the garden. "Oh my... What a wonderful rose." I held my breath at the amount of ridiculousness of the situation. Even Spike was growing uneasy albeit for different reasons.
"You mean this one?" The prince picked the flower and seemingly hoofed it to her. Oh my god this couldn't scream 'cliche' loud enough! Before Rarity could take it, he yanked it away from her and put it on his suit. "Thank you! It goes with my eyes."
"HEHEHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! Ow..." Spike had elbowed my leg. I earned a glare from Rarity. The prince raised a brow at me before trotting off. Heheh, that prince is okay in my books. I thought about checking on Fluttershy next, but thought better of it. I'd probably scare the animals away. I didn't feel like being around Pinkie at the moment. I met up with Jack and he said AJ's doing fine without him. Guess she needs her space too. I went to find Rarity again just for shits and giggles. I found her and the prince around the outside picnic area. Blueblood set down a pillow in between them two. Of course, Rarity thought he was setting it down for her to sit on, but NOPE! This stallion wasn't gonna be having any of that gentleman crap. That pillow was meant for him to sit on, and he let her know that.
Another chuckle and an elbow to the leg later. I decided to go check on Rainbow. I figured she'd still be with the Wonderbolts. When I found her, I saw her catching an earth pony stallion who was flying in the air. She looked proud for a moment, but frustrated next. I'll go talk to her.
"Hey! Skittles! Over here!" I waved at her. She saw and came trotting towards me. "How's your night going so far."
"Terrible! Atleast somepony notices me."
"What's the matter?"
"I came here to spend more time with the Wonderbolts but it seems like they're too busy with everypony else!" I would've told her how she doesn't own the Wonderbolts and that they are public performers for everyone else to get to meet, but I see she needed support. I decided to inflate her ego.
"Eh, well, you're out of their league."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You're amazing! Not only can you do awesome stunts, you can do the Sonic Rainboom, you have a rad personality, you're also a great cuddler," I went on for a few minutes about everything I like about her. It seemed to brighten up her night.
"Heheh, alright I get it." She giggled. "Thanks."
"Miss Rarity! Stop!" I turned my head to see the source of the warning. The prince had his fore leg over Rarity, stopping her from walking over a puddle of spilled drink.
"Oh Prince Blueblood, how chivalrous of you."
"One would hate to slip on such a puddle."
"Yes, one most certainly would."
"One's cloak should take care of the problem." He looked at her.
"Oh of course it will." She replied. He was still looking at her. I think she got the message, albeit an unpleasant one. I don't like Rarity, but I know how hard she worked on her outfit, and that guy wanted her to ruin it to keep his hooves dry? Not on my watch.
"Rarity, don't you dare!" I called out, gathering everyone's attention. "If you hate your work so bad, go on ahead. If you have pride in your outfit along with common sense, walk around that small puddle."
"You are absolutely right!" Rarity said, stepping around the puddle. "And to think I almost ruined a perfectly good cloak." The prince wasn't very happy with me. He trotted up to me glaring, but went back to following Rarity. Yeah, keep walkin, jackass.
"Woah! This is new. You actually helped Rarity. You stood up for her." Rainbow said from behind. "I'm actually impressed."
"Well, although Rarity can seem a bit self centered and self entitled, this guy thinks he's superior just because of a fucking title." I looked to where the prince and Rarity walked off to. They were stuck at a door, gesturing each other to open the door. "Oh for Christ's sake!" I walked over to them and yanked the door open for them. "You both can't open a fucking door?" They both walked through, Rarity glaring at the prince while the prince glared at me again. I narrowed my eyes at him, daring him to say something.
Pinkie started singing from the ballroom. It sounded similar to the hokey pokey, but I guess a pony version. Jack had went back to check up on his filly friend. Spike had urged me to chaperon the prince and Rarity, and frankly, Dash didn't really need me to cheer her up anymore. She went from being annoyed at the lack of attention, to just trying to enjoy the party in general. Eventually, the four of us came across Applejack's stand. It didn't look like she sold many of her baked goods. I loved the smell.
"Two apple fritters please." Rarity said.
"Two apple fritters comin' right up." Applejack said. Jack got two of the apple fritters for her and handed them to us.
"Four cents." Jack said.
"Bits." AJ corrected.
Once again, Rarity and Blueblood started gesturing again. Having enough of it, Rarity gave up. "I'm going to have to pay, aren't I?"
I got this. I handed Jack four bits. Both Rarity and Applejack shared the same surprised look Rainbow did. "Well ah'll be."
"Why thank you Xavier darling! I-I don't know what to say, but at least somepony's a gentleman around here."
"I'm not a gentleman, Rarity. You know that."
"You have told me that many times, yes, but thanks anyway."
Blueblood took a bite out of the baked treat but spat it out. "Fritters?! Dumplings?! Caramel apples?!? My royal lips have touched carnival fare!" He walked off and dropped the fritter on the ground.
"Well no wonder ponies ain't buyin mah apples. They're fillin up on them fancy-schmancy vittles!"
"Maybe you could make something creative and pretty it up like the rest of these snooty ponies..."
I picked up the drop fritter. I think I'll save this for later...
"Ya ain't gonna eat that are ya?" Applejack asked. "Ah can bake ya another one."
"No thanks." This dirty fritter has one last use left.
I went back to the ball room to check on Dash to see if she was faring well. She seemed to be talking to a couple of mares. Pinkie had turntables running while she was harassing the crowd. I don't think this is that type of party, Pinkie...
"Hey Xavier!" Huh? "Xavier! Over here!"
I turned to see Lyra. "Hey! You're here! I guess this is why you couldn't sit in for the kids?"
"Yeah.. Sorry. I would've called out to you earlier when you got out of your cool buggy." She blushed hard. "I really did... but this was a chance to catch up with a couple of friends I haven't seen in ages!"
"It's cool, Lyra. Relax. Let's just enjoy the party." We did. We talked for a bit. Soon the prince entered the ballroom followed by a displeased Rarity. The same time AJ rolled in a stacked cake on a serving table. As if the world was mad at them, Pinkie did a stage dive, landing on the edge of the table, sending the cake flying in our direction. The incompatible pair shrieked at the incoming dessert. That's when it happened. Rarity was grabbed by the prince and was about to be used as his shield.
Oh hell no.
I snatched Rarity out of the way and let the cake smack straight into Prince Blueblood, who in turned, shrieked like a little girl which got everyone's attention. After he spent a little while looking over the mess that was all over him in disbelief, he gave me his biggest glare yet. "How DARE you?! Miss Rarity! Your pet monkey needs to be disciplined or put down! It is a menace!"
Rarity gasped while Rainbow flew in his face. "Hey! First of all, only I get to call him a monkey! Second of all, he's not a monkey! He's a human!"
"And third of all, he's more disciplined and a better stallion than you'll ever be, you poor excuse for a prince!" yelled Rarity. His mouth was wide open.
"Oh. And you forgot something." I said, pulling out a piece of his now-dirty fritter. I broke it in half, shoving half of it in his mouth, and rubbing the other half in his mane at the same time. The entire room gasped. "Oh sorry! I'm a stupid monkey. I don't know any better." He shrieked, stumbling around and accidentally knocked over a golden statue. Rainbow caught it, but under the weight of it, she domino'd several pillars. The worst happened when Fluttershy chased all of the animals into the ballroom, screaming.
Twilight, the princess, and my bro walked in. He 'nope'd, making a 180 and skedaddled out of there. I picked up Lyra and Rarity, carrying them out of the ballroom full of panicking animals and ponies. The girls and the rest of the humans followed. The girls dresses were a mess, and frankly I felt really bad for Rarity. This was her hard work and it got ruined. Not only that but now I started to feel like a complete ass for the way I have been treating her all this time. Maybe all it took for me to realize it was seeing someone else mistreat her for me to realize that she's not even a remotely bad person... or pony...whatever! Flawed, yes, but aren't we all?
Spike suggested we all go spend the rest of the event at Donut Joe's. Celestia said that she wouldn't mind opening up a few rooms in her palace for us, but we had things to do the next day. Celestia had got herself a few donuts when Twilight asked a question.
"Hey Xavier, now that the gala is over, can you tell us what the princess was talking about earlier?"
"What?"
"She apologized for something that happened before the gala."
"Ooooooh... That.."
-Flashback-
We had parked near the city entrance. Since ponies didn't have cars, we weren't sure if they had any parking spaces, so we ended up having the car sit along side the trail there, not too far from the city, but against the mountain so it wouldn't be anywhere near the edge. Bro still loved that DJ Shade Mobile. It cost him a lot of money to get it modified and accessorized to his liking. He didn't want anything to happen to it now, especially since auto-repair shops don't exist in this world yet.
Inside of the city, we got a few stares and disgusted looks. A grin grew on my face, but the look bro was giving me told me to not even think about it. Too late. While we were walking through the staring ponies, not a sound was made but our footsteps. There were a few whimpers and yelps from the ponies that decided to run for it. I couldn't help but smile. Eventually, we heard several hoof steps from around a corner. A dozen guards in golden clad armor were running towards us. They had us surrounded. The ponies seemed calm now that the guards 'seemingly' had the situation under control. A few of them got smug. We were hearing a few stallions and mares tell the guards to throw us in a dungeon until we rot or to throw us in whatever jungle we came from. One of them demanded for us to be killed right on the spot. That's a bit much, don't yo think? They held their spears in our faces with their magic grip. Pointy...
"They're monsters! It's your duty to defeat them!"
Unfortunately, one of the guards bought it and thrust his spear at us. Unfortunately for all of them, they nicked Jeff. Jeff had grabbed the spear from the guard's magical grip and slammed he non-sharp end against the side of his head. That's when all hell broke loose.
The ponies were all cheering on the guards for our defeat. However, I noticed something. These guards were sloppy. Almost as if they had inefficient training and experience. The way they simply tried to just stab us with just the tip... That's not how to use a spear. However, one of them managed to nick bro's neck. That was their second mistake. Now it's time for me to show you how to really use one! I grabbed another spear and swung at a few of the guards. One of them I knocked out in one hit. The other one was different. He was a bit larger and wearing purple. What really caught my attention was his emblem. It was way too similar to Twilight's cutie mark.
"Fight me monster!" He demanded.
"That emblem. It's similar to Twilight's... know her?"
The expression on his face. It went from curiosity, to shock, and to anger and hatred. His horn flared and his spear raised.
"YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER YOU DEMON!!" He had made multiple rapid attempts to impale me with his spear. My agility outdid his speed however. I dodged each blow. I grabbed his spear too, but he kept it in his magical grip. He was struggling. I took the opportunity to wack him a few times with the spear in my other hand. He tried to blast me, but it only pushed me back a bit. He lunged his spear at me again, but I just dodged it and got close again, kicking him in the face. A few of the other guards that weren't knocked out already noticed this. The purple armor guard didn't stay down however. He got back up. I can take one and two. Not three or four. I turned tail and ran with those in tow. There wasn't a lot of guards left behind for the others to fight. I came across the palace gates. I could hear Purple Armor giving orders to surround me and cut me off. He told one of them however, to alert the princesses. That's it! I looked for a way over the gate entrance. I ran until I saw an arched part in the gate, telling me that was the entrance. Better yet, one of the buildings were tall enough for me to jump over it. However, even in this moment, my inner troll told me to wait until they thought they had me.
"Stop right there, beast!" Purple Armor commanded. I did as he said. "Good. You can listen." His guards had me surrounded. "If you surrender, maybe I'll have mercy on you and your monster buddies and have you thrown in the dungeon for eternity." I held my hands up. "I take that as a surrender."
"Nope!" I yelled. I ran inbetween two of the buildings, wall-jumping until I got on top of the slightly taller one and then spin flipped over the arch in the gate and Purple Armor. I landed right on the otherside and started running. I turned around to run backwards while flipping them both the double birdies, grinning. "It's what we humans like to call, parkour!" Before I could enter the palace however, the door bursted open, knocking me down. What came through I didn't expect.
A dark night-blue alicorn. Yes. Another alicorn. She wasn't as big as Celestia. The dark crown on her head told me that she was also a princess. and like Celestia, her mane was flowing but with stars instead of tri-colored. She wasn't alone. She had a dozen guards. A few of them were dark blue with bat wings and black armor. They had fangs... Her wings flared at me, before she quietly told me...
"THOU HAST BEST STAY DOWN IF THOUST KNOW WHAT TIS GOOD FOR YE!" Okay, maybe not so quiet.
"No thanks." I rolled away from her and got up. Purple and his guards were already through the gates and started firing bolts at chucking spears at me. I pulled up my hood, picked up a spear with one hand and pulled out my gun with the other. Things just got serious. I was dodging left and right. When they ran out of stuff to throw, her guards came after me. They were much faster than their golden-armored counterparts. I was outnumbered. I was now desperate. I didn't want to kill anyone, but they're not leaving me much option. I aimed my gun and fired on one of them, hitting the foreleg. Purple and the new alicorn looked in shock as one of her bat-winged guards hit the ground, holding his wounded limb. The other one charged after me.
"NIGHT STAR! GET BEHIND THYSELF!!!"
The bat guard did as told.
"I SHALL HANDLE THE BEAST THYSELF!!!" She flew and landed in front of me. "DOES THOU FOUL BEAST HAVE ANY LAST WORDS TO SPEAK?! IF SO, SPEAK THEM NOW!!"
"One. Volume control. I'm standing right here. Two. Where's Celestia?"
"THAT IS PRINCESS CELESTIA TO YOU! THOU SHALT SPEAK HER NAME WITH RESPECT, CREATURE!" Her horn started to glow, and I was lifted. She couldn't lift me more than a few inches off of the ground. "WHAT IN THY MOTHER'S NAME-"
"LULU! STOP IT THIS INSTANT AND PUT THE HUMAN DOWN!!" a familiar voice called. Celestia landed behind the blue alicorn with a stern look on her face.
"Lulu?" I smirked.
"THOU WOULD BEST REMAIN SILENT, CREATURE!" Lulu warned, a bit embarrassed at something.
I ignored her. "Hey Celly!" I waved.
"Hello my little human friend."
"Tia... Does thou knowest this creature?!" Lulu asked.
"Yes, I do. Now if you'd please put him down. You are using up a lot of your magic by holding him, and he doesn't like to be held that way."
"THIS CREATURE HAS WOUNDED ONE OF THY GUARDS!!"
"In my defense, it was your guards that were after my blood. If I actually wanted to kill, I would've aimed between the eyes."
Purple Armor was shocked and a bit disturbed when he heard this. He didn't even know about the gun.
"Yes, Mr. Purple Armor, this means I could have killed you at any time had I intended to do so. But I guess that makes me a poor excuse for a monster, right?"
"J-Just stay away from Twilight, beast!"
"Captain Shining Armor, he is one of Twilight Sparkle's friends." I chuckled at Celestia's words. I'm more than that Celly. "Also, I'm giving the order to all Royal Guards. The humans are not to be harmed unless I say otherwise."
"Tia!"
"He's not a dangerous creature, Lulu, and he's quite young. He's 20 and his friends and brother aren't much older."
"Well gee, you make us sound like teenage brats." I commented. "Anyway, we all acted in self defense. My bro's head was almost taken off by one of Shining Armor's men." Then it hit me. I looked at Purple Armor. "Wait... Shining Armor? That's your name?"
Shining Armor glared at me. "It's Captain Shining Armor to y-"
"PBTPHAAAHAAHAAAHAAHAA!!!"
-Flashback ended-
When I stopped telling the story at the part where I was laughing at Shining Armor's name, Jeff and Jack were laughing along with me. The girls either didn't get it, or didn't think it was funny. I know Twilight didn't. Jeff had to explain that his name came from a saying "Knight in Shining Armor" and how the term derived from a knight who saves a damsel in distress to a 'white knight' whipped male that would irrationally defend a female regardless of who's right or wrong.
"Hey Jack, I think you and Shining Armor would get along pretty well." I looked at Twilight. "Who is he anyway? You two know each other."
"That was my brother you kicked in the face." Twilight said, trying not to shout.
"You have a brother in the royal guards?!" The girls said in unison.
"Remember! Self defense! Anyway, this Fancy Pants person vouched that we hadn't really did anything wrong before a Jet Set guy encouraged one of 'em to cut Jeff."
"I've never kicked that many asses in one day!" Jack cheered.
"Yeah, I don't mean to insult the guards or anything,but they were kinda weak. It took one of the princesses and a lot of the guards to stop me. On Earth, it would've only taken one to four people to stop us."
"Ah can't believe ya'll dun took on the entire guards!"
"I doubt that was all of the guards they threw at us, but when the guards just try to only impale you, and they keep aiming their bolts where you are instead of where you're headed, that says a lot about their competence. That's why Equestria needs video games. Or atleast moving target practice.
Jeff laughed. "Get this! Sunbutt here asked if we could join the guards!"
"Yeah. No thanks. Not really interested. Those guys probably hate us, and even if they didn't, our home is in Ponyville. You know, the town that doesn't have a lot of posh nobles who love the smell of their own farts, ei the ones that ordered the guards to kill us without even knowing what we were or why we were there." I said. Spike laughed at the fart joke, which earned him a look from Twilight.
"Well, in a way, I'm glad that it happened." Celestia told us. Me and the other humans in the group looked like her as if she lost it.
"Explain."
"Well, you did reveal to us how unprepared and under-trained our guards are. Since we've been a nation at peace for thousands of years, there's only been minor incidents. The guards since then have been idle. If an invasion had happened, we would be in trouble. Not even the elements would be able to save us."
Bro scoffed a little. "Well, I'm glad we were able to be of service, but next time, at least warn the guards next time."
"Yes. My apologies, Mr. Roberts." Celly apologized. "I'll see to it that the guards won't give you any more trouble when we're on good terms."
Twilight said she forgives me because I showed restraint and didn't kill her brother. Speaking of... "Hey, Celestia, can you promise to not tell Shining Armor about me and Twi uh... seeing each other? He probably hates me now, and I wanna see his reaction when he finds out himself." Jack caught on to what I was doing and he shared the same grin. I thought Twilight would object to my shenanigans like she usually does, but I guess she was either curious or was having one of those 'troll the siblings' moment. Or maybe Jack and I were rubbing off on her a little.
Trollestia loved a good prank. She was cool with it. "Very well."
"How is your sister by the way? The last thing she said to me was something around the words of "Ye may hath thy sister fooled into believing your deception, but thy will keep an eye on thee through thoust dreams, creature!" Or something along those lines. What's with that?"
"Don't worry about Lulu. She can walk through the dreams of our subjects, but usually to prevent nightmares. It's called dream-walking."
So... she's going to try to infiltrate my dreams, is she? "Good to know."
We spent the rest of the time there eating donuts and talking. Eventually, Celestia had to go because the next day would be a busy day for her, and she had a mess to help clean up. I have no Idea what it's like being a princess or even royalty here, but it sounds like a drag based on how she told us. Soon, it was past time to return to Ponyville. The ruckus with all of the animals running around the gala had scared all of the buggies away, including the six's. We had to see how we could fit 4 humans, six ponies, and a dragon in one car. Spike sat on Jeff's lap in the passenger seat (Ironic that now it's the youngest one sitting up front). Rainbow sat on mine while Twi sat in the middle beside me. Pinkie and Rarity ended up squeezing themselves infront of Twilight and Jack, who sat on the opposite side with AJ on his lap (of course). Twilight was the most excited.
"Yesyesyesyes! I can't believe we're riding in what's probably the most advanced vehicle in Equestria!"
"Twi. Please try to calm down. You're more bouncy than Pinkie on a normal day."
"Heeey!" Pinkie chuckled at my little attack.
When Twi started to calm down, bro told everyone to 'buckle up so we don't end up flying through the windshield like Hugh Jackman during the first X-Men movie. As soon as the car started, the feint internal blue lights came on and everyone jumped. I couldn't see where Fluttershy was, probably up front, but I could hear her eep-ing and whimpering.
"W-what was that?!"
"Calm down everyone. It's just the engine. The thing that runs the car. Jack! Help me out here!"
Jack just shook his head and kept watching.
"Hey bro. Got any good tunes to calm the mares?"
"Sure lil bro." I always hated it when he called me that in front of company. Dash, Pinkie and Rarity chuckled at my embarrassing moment.
Bro really loves BoeBoe.
The girls seemed to be enjoying it. They didn't even notice we're moving until I pointed it out. The girls stared out the window in awe as we cruised home in the night. We were already half way there and I was starting to fall asleep. A hoof bopped me in the nose. When I looked, not only was Spike and most of the ponies asleep, but I saw Rainbow giving me the bedroom eyes.
"Not in the car, Skittles."
"Why not?"
"Well one, it's cramped in here. Two, we don't want bro flipping out if 'one thing leads to another.'"
"That's right." Trae said.
"And I'm pretty sure Jeff would be stating his objections throughout the entire thing, and that'd ruin the mood."
"You're damn right I would." Jeff said.
"Fine."
When we got back to Ponyville, it was really late. Most of us were tired. Most of the girls went home, save for Rainbow, Twilight and Spike. They were going to stay with us. I stopped Rarity however.
"Hey Rarity. I wanna talk to you a little bit. One on one?"
"Of course, darling. What is it?"
"I just wanna apologize for how I've been treating you. I let your posh demeanor and my past get in the way of getting to know all of you instead of giving you a fair chance."
"Oh don't you worry about a thing, Xavier. You showed your true colors to me tonight. You may not be a gentleman, but you were my knight in shining armor." She said, batting her eyes at me.
"No.. one, don't call me that. Two, that's the thing... It took you being treated like crap by someone who's more of an ass than anyone to realize how I've been treating you. You didn't deserve it, and I'm more than happy to admit to my wrong-doings."
"Very well, but I've already forgiven you, my dear."
"I think I'm ready to call you a good friend. You've been a good friend to the others."
"Enough of that, darling. I forgive you. I accept your apology. You don't have to grovel at my hooves or anything. Let bygones be bygones. Water under the bridge."
"Sure." I was about to walk in my home when I was hugged from behind by Rarity.
"But thank you. This really does mean a lot."
"No problem." I turned to return the hug.
After that, she went on her way and I went back inside my home. Everyone was either tired or already asleep. Spike slept with Jonathan and Hiroto. Rainbow and Twi decided to sleep with theirs truly until the next morning. There were lots of cuddling. Eventually, they cuddled me until they tired themselves out. Amidst Rainbow's snoring, I stared up at the ceiling to recall everything that has happened. How my first foe here became a lover. How I became friends with some of the most important ponies in Equestria. How I overcame my dislike for Rarity.
I wish mom and dad could see us now.