Do you know what it's like, being born again?
I'll tell you the secret only Queens know. Most Changelings are born only once. Their eggs hatch, they grow, pupate, and live. They only know creation once and forget about it almost immediately. We Queens are different. As our old selves begin to fade we quickly recall our first birth, and our journey toward our next. It's true; we are born twice.
As I felt sleep grip me in my matron's chambers everything seemed blurred. For the few minutes, before the world completely fell away, I heard the buzzing of the drones and a few scant whiffs of command pheromones, and after that nothing but darkness.
It made me remember the time before my emotions had surfaced. I'd gone through this same emptiness night after night; there were no visions, no feelings, just void. It felt cool and calm, comforting in the same way I'd felt when Queen Scarlet had her wings draped over me. The sleep made me think back to my first memories as a larva, still huddled up tightly in a growth comb. I felt like nothing would hurt me here, like I was safe until I had to wake up.
I couldn't tell how long I remained like that, in that state of almost nothingness. The blackness seemed to go on forever, and time itself felt oddly absent. I almost forgot myself, strange as that sounds. In the midst of the calmness I almost forgot that I was there. My sense of self vanished, my mind going blank, and my whole physical being began to feel... faded, as if it wasn't there.
Thinking back on it, I sometimes wish I could return to that emptiness. It reminded me of a simpler time in my life when I didn't have to worry, or feel at all for that matter. A time when all I had to do was rest and await the next day. It's strange, really. I can't even really describe it correctly. How does one who now has emotion describe a time when they had none?
Towards the end of my long slumber, I started to come back, the void surrounding my mind fading away. A humming sound began to drift in from the distance. It grew closer, clearer, more coherent. I stirred a bit as it began to focus itself. From the hum came punctuated highs and lows. Words formed out of the sound... A voice.
“Who is...” I muttered as the sound became more clear.
“... and behold, you will all look down upon your prey as the great feast begins!” the words echoed.
“W-who is...” I thought again, shuddering slightly.
I felt odd when I did that, feel myself shiver. In the depths of this metamorphic sleep I didn't realize what was going on. I hadn't realized I'd forgotten myself yet. With each word a bit more of me came back from oblivion. I began to feel my limbs again.
“Fret not,” the voice continued.
My torso began to move. I felt my breath rise and fall.
“as in the end,”
My wings twitched.
“we shall do as we have since time long ago; We shall rise!”
And then my senses sprang back to life.
My head pounded for a moment as a flood of sight, smell, and sound slammed into me. Loud, shrill cries began to sound as the first voice went quiet. I felt an urge to recoil and hide. The sounds ran rampant through my ears, and a sort of churning sensations appeared in my abdomen. It became worse as the bright lights of the glowing fungal pods came into view, their normally calm glow like brilliant daggers in my eyes.
“Oh,” I groaned to myself, wincing through the pain, “what is this?”
Their chorus diminished slightly and the pain began to dissolve. My eyes adjusted to the brightness, and I took in the sight around me. An image of the Hive's center unfolded as I found myself standing atop a pedestal overlooking the Swarm. Every comb, every column, every visible surface clamored and buzzed with Changelings, writhing with life in all directions around me. They let loose their voices and buzzed their wings. Their pheromones gave the air a thin, yet noticeable hint of hotness; they were anxious, and awaiting something.
“At last, the hunger our Hive has been cursed with will be sated, and our swarm will once more be full with life and energy.”
I felt like my eyes went wide as the words echoed through the throng of blackened forms. The words were mine, but... not mine. I had said them, felt them, and heard them, but it wasn't my voice, nor my will.
“What's going on?” I tried to say.
“So to all of you,” my mouth spoke.
What is this? Maybe I couldn't hear over the Swarm?
“Where am I?” I questioned, feeling my hemolymph flow faster.
“May our wings fill the sky,”
The words came, but still weren't mine.
Why can't I control myself?
“And may love fill our Hive!”
“Stop it! Stop it!” I tried to scream as the noise of a thousand buzzing Changelings filled the room. “I won't be controlled like this! Stop!”
And yet not a word. I could only scream inside as the horde around me cheered. I couldn't control myself. I'd just managed to return to a physical state, and already I felt like I didn't exist anymore. It made think of when Scarlet's drones were upon me. I could already feel slivers of fear working their way back into my mind.
“Your Highness.”
My head turned. I felt like I was going to jump backward a step, yet still a stone I remained. A drone sat in front of me, no others, just him.
“I'll be done in a moment,” I heard myself say.
Did he just call me 'Your Highness'? Why would he call me...
Turning back to the crowd, my wings flared open and command pheromones drifted through the air. An almost silent sigh came from the assembled Changelings as they caught my scented command. The group dispersed a few seconds later, each returning to their place in the Hive.
The drone spoke up over the flurry of wings.
“There is still no word from outside the valley, your Highness.”
“I thought as much,” I involuntarily replied.
I was about to say something else, I was sure of it, but a twinge of pain pushed the words from my mouth. Looking down, I noticed a small hole on the end of my front left limb.
“You too, your Highness?” the drone asked.
“I'm afraid so,” I replied, “I'm afraid so.”
Something was strange. The hole on my leg felt alien and unnatural, yet all my life I'd known them as just another part of a Changeling's body. I looked over at the drone. He too had a few small cavities on his rear legs, but other than that his chitinous body was intact.
Why does it feel so strange to have something I've always known?
“How many others?” I asked.
“Hundreds, if not all,” the drone said.
The room was silent for a moment. I lowered my head and closed my eyes half way. The energy in my body quickly escaped from me. I don't know what it's called, the emotion one would feel, but whatever it's called, it was... uncomfortable.
As I sat there, confused and buried in a mix of my thoughts, I noticed something on the wax-coated floor.
A reflection...
But something was off about it. It was tall, with a bluish stripe on its abdomen, not a solid blue like the drones but rather something somewhat lighter. The figure was thin and lithe, built seemingly for sneaking but too tall for a hunter. Its wings were broad and long, draping down to the floor like a solid spider web, and instead of a sharp horn, a flexible antenna adorned the top of its head.
“Who is...” I began to think.
I felt an odd shiver. The reflection was mine, but not mine. I felt a small pinch in the back of my mind. The realization came in quickly, flashing through my mind as the reflection had darted through my vision. This world, these eyes, this body... I was in them, yes, but all of them were not my own.
“Has anyone-” the not-me began.
“Your Highness,” the drone interrupted, “No one has contacted us from outside the valley, nor has anyone within. I ask for your forgiveness for my interruption, but we, our Hive, are alone.”
The world around me began fade as the drone and I sat there.
What? No, wait! What's going on?!
As the blackness slowly filled in around us, I felt my wing drift over the drone's blue form. I leaned in toward him, my movements similar to the gentle gestures Queen Scarlet had given me. I felt like he should react somehow, like he should do something he's not. My heartbeat increased slightly as he looked up toward me, but then just as it my energy started coming back, it sank again as the words left his mouth.
“Your Highness,” he said, his voice flat and unchanging, “What are you doing?”
My wing drifted back to my side as I felt myself slouch slightly.
“Then we have lost ourselves...” The words, barely there, floated between my lips as the darkness enveloped my senses again. “Truly, we are lost.”
“Lost? What?” I said against the void. “What does that... no, no please, wait!
I was alone again in the dark, but although I'd fallen back into my deep slumber, the sense of security was gone. I felt alone and vulnerable, not that different from how it had felt staring at that hole in my—or was it her—lower leg.
The worst part about it was not being able to move, to cry, or to yell. I felt so confused and so alone, and all I wanted at that point was for it just to stop. I wanted the feeling from before back, the calmness, the security... but at the same time I was curious, and growing restless. I had no idea who that was or what was going on. I wanted to know more, to know why that Queen whose eyes I saw from was in pain.
As my mind began to cloud itself, another hum faded in from the void. I began to listen in as another voice formed from the blackness around me.
“And yet the weather grows colder still...” a new voice, this one more stern than the last.
I felt myself reform again. A chill went through me as my body reformed, a bitter cold pouring through my mouth and nose as my senses came back to me once more. My eyes opened again, and I found myself atop a rocky hill. The weather was frigid, and the sky above was a thick, off-white color, nothing like the tales of an endless cerulean ceiling I'd heard about from the hunters. A rocky fortress sat atop a mountain in the distance. It looked like it had been etched with acid and left to rot atop a pile shale bones. It was a stark sight to behold.
“Are you even listening, Honeydew?” the stern voice snapped.
My eyes darted to a table in front of me. Around me sat other Changelings, each tall, powerful, and to my relief, familiar in anatomy.
“What a name. Honestly,” the Queen to my left snorted in a gravely voice, “as if anyone still uses the titles of old.”
“We're not here for flattery,” another glared. “Let's get on with this.”
“Well, if you ladies are quite done bickering,” a fourth Queen spoke, her voice as harsh as the first, “Let's proceed to the matter at hoof. The Northern Swarm has, as stated, laid claim to the area from the flat lands northward. The rest of the land is not our concern, nor is the prey living upon it.”
“As if the Western Swarm cares.”
“Same goes for the South.”
“The Eastern Swarm will... consider this for now.”
“And what say the so-called High Swarm, hm?” the Northern Queen spat.
I felt my numb limb stretch upward. Lifting a half-frozen piece of wax and a ragged quill pen, this new not-me began to write, the other Queens snickering and poking fun at... whomever I was seeing through.
“Can't speak, how can she lead?”
“I heard she was ill and lost her voice.”
“Lost her voice. What next, her Swarm?”
“No, maybe all her drones!”
I felt myself become warmer on the inside as their harsh comments filled my ears. This heat wasn't comforting though, it was bitter like the cold, and frenzied me slightly. My writing finished, I—rather forcefully—slid the parchment across a stone slab in front of us, my words made visible to the assembled Queens.
“Whatever works to avoid conflict amongst ourselves. If the new territory claims can prevent our kind from turning on one another, the High Swarm approves.”
“Sheesh, no need to get all poetic,” the Western Swarm's Queen said.
“If we're all quite done here, I think we should adjourn,” the Northern Queen piped in.
“Best idea I've heard out of you lot all day.”
“Whatever.”
“Good riddance to you all.”
Insults said and done, I watched the other Queens disperse into the sky, each taking a direction and not looking back. I stood, my limbs still numb. I opened and flapped my wings, drops of cold dew falling to the rough ground. As I readied myself for flight I heard a voice from across the stone slab.
“So you really can't talk, can you?”
I looked over at the voice; the Eastern Queen had returned.
“Oh, there's another thing I've been meaning to ask,” she continued. “Why do you cling to that old name? It's not like the ancestral world still exists, even if you do claim your swarm is built upon where it stood.”
I looked away. I wasn't sure why, but I felt a burning in my chest. It wasn't the same harsh hotness of before, but something else. Whenever she spoke of the not-me's name, no matter what the insult, the heat inside became more intense. I felt as though I wanted to show her otherwise, prove her wrong, and yet I still felt myself holding back against the urge.
“So who gave you that dusty old label anyway?” the Eastern Queen continued. “Was it your nest mates?”
I remained still, even if the heat in me hung in my heart.
“Your fellows in the Swarm?”
Still I stood.
“Rosedust?”
The name made me stir. I felt as if I'd been thrown into a wall. That name, whomever it belonged to, brought up feelings I hadn't quite been through before. They felt similar to how I'd felt when Scarlet told me of the exclusivity of emotion to Queens; it was a feeling of not being able to do anything.
“Ah, that explains it,” She pressed on. “Despite all your talk of not wanting war, all your words of cooperation you're really just out to appease the Queen that came before you. All the time you've tried to keep the peace between the swarms you've really just been cuddling up to the rancid old ideals that your mother stuck inside your head.”
I felt the heat again, boiling inside now.
“Get over it. The old ways are dead and gone. Whatever happened, this is the world now. We are Changelings, predators, hunters. The old ways don't apply now, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll become a real Queen, not this overgrown nymph hiding under her dead matron's shadow.”
I felt myself tense. The heat inside boiled. My eyes began to water. I felt the not-me's desire to sit still, to not lash out, but I also felt it clash against the fury inside that was mounting with each word of the Eastern Queen.
“Or,” She said after a long pause, her words sharp and acidic, “Maybe those are your thoughts, Honeydew.”
She leaned in towards me.
“After all, who can tell? You're as silent as a stone without a piece of wax in your hoof.”
I felt myself twist around, the fury consuming my movements. It felt oddly good in a way; that release of energy. I can't really remember what happened. All I know is that when my clarity returned I had the Eastern Queen pinned to the stone slab, a thin trail of hemolymph dripping down the rock's side.
I panted, letting my breath return to normal as I took in what I'd done. My eyes moistened more, the excess cascading down the sides of my face as the fallen Queen's blood did the same on the slab. After a few seconds, I felt her move beneath my hoof. She laughed softly, turning an eye towards me.
“See? Was that so hard?” She breathed. “You hypocrite.”
I felt my head tilt backward, my grip on the other Queen release, and all the wind I had in me escape through my mouth in a silent screech as the world faded back into darkness again.
Never had I seen more than one Queen before, and never had I felt a feeling like that, the burning inside. It hurt, yet I hadn't wanted it to leave, and with every harsh word the Eastern Queen had said the heat in me would intensified.
It was the first time I'd ever seen a Queen act this way, too. From what I remember, Queen Scarlet had always been kind and gentle. Queens, from what I knew, were to watch over their Swarms with a sort of caring grace, not with the spite and contempt I'd seen just a few moments ago. It was just unlike them.
It felt wrong.
And what I did to her... I couldn't believe I would ever assault another Changeling, especially a Queen. The fury I'd felt, the wetness of my eyes, and that deep disdain I'd seen in the other Queen as I held her there, wounded by my hoof, to the stone slab.
And yet she laughed.
She'd laughed at me. Sitting there—in pain worse than a simple injury, I'd imagine—and yet she laughed.
I'd laughed some when Scarlet had been showing me the Hive, and she had laughed in return. Laughter had felt pleasant then, and yet this Queen's laughter... it felt the opposite; it felt wrong, scornful, and dejecting.
I sat there in oblivion. I didn't want to cry anymore. I didn't know why either, all I wanted was to wake up. I wanted out so badly; it was all I could think of at that moment.
Another humming caught my attention.
“No. Not again...” I murmured. “Not again!”
I tried to move, senseless as it was. I wouldn't be thrown into another body. The curiosity was gone; I just wanted it all to stop. I wanted to be me again.
“No!” I screamed, hearing the sound come nearer. “No!”
My senses came to me much quicker this time. I was a bit startled by my surroundings. I sat in a small room, its walls covered in the same fabrics and ornaments of Scarlet's chamber. The oil-drinking light burned brightly above, it surface less tarnished but still familiar. A bound stack of that... wax-but-not-wax... sat in front of me, a quill suspended above it by a green aura of magic.
“Your Highness?” a voice chimed.
“Now what have I told you?” I felt myself say, never turning my attention from my parchment stack.
“No more formal stuff with you in here?” the voice spoke.
“And what do you call me?” I continued, forcing my expression to stay neutral.
“H-Hedylidae...”
“What was that?” I laughed, wrapping my wing over the voice's owner.
“H-Hedylidae!” the other Changeling laughed back.
The not-me lifted her wing, revealing a smaller Queen. She was a bright red, with long, broad wings and a membrane of crimson over her head and rear. Her bright eyes seem to have a shine to them, and even though she was far from a juvenile, her voice was high in pitch.
Not possible... could that be...
The not-me looked down at the younger Queen, the sides of her mouth turned up into a gentle expression I'd seen many times before. The younger Changeling grinned back. They sat next to one another for some time, the young Queen staring at the parchment as I flipped through them, scratching words on to the sheets as I did.
“Is that Scarlet?” I thought, my mind feeling more energetic. “Is this her past? Is this her Queen I'm seeing through?”
Perhaps it had been the past I was seeing, perhaps it was a dream. Either way, I strangely found myself unable to concentrate. Past or dream, Scarlet or not, this place I was seeing made me feel calm, not like the void, but calm. I felt safe again, content to just sit there with the young Queen, the not-wax binding in hoof and a quill in my aura. I knew these thoughts weren't mine, they were somehow those of another, but right then and there, for however long it lasted, I wished they could have been my own.
I'm still not sure how much time had passed since I first looked through the eyes of this Queen, but eventually the younger one spoke up.
“Hedylidae?”
“Hm?” I softly replied.
“Why do we need to search for new prey?”
The quill slipped in my aura slightly.
“It's because,” I said with a small sigh, “they only last so long.”
The young Queen seemed a bit confused.
“But the hunters told me that they eventually regain the love they take from them.”
“True, they do regain their lost love and can be harvested from again,” I replied, But they themselves only live for so long. They are mortal; they die eventually.”
“W-what? Why?” the red Queen asked.
I thought her eyes might moisten for a moment as she considered the not-me's words.
“Their bodies only last so long before they wither and wilt like old fungus,” I said. “It's annoying, but it means that we have to keep looking for new prey every now and again.”
“That doesn't happen to us, does it?” The young Queen asked, her voice sounding rushed and afraid. “I don't want to end up wilted and gone!”
“Shh, relax, relax,” I calmly spoke, wrapping a wing around her. “You need not fear that. Changeling's don't wither and die with time, my dear. We live on as long as we have our prey to sustain us.”
The other Changeling's fear subsided slightly.
“Tell me, how long do you think I've lived for?” I asked.
The younger Queen shrugged.
“I've been on this world for nearly fifteen thousand moons, my dear,” I said, feeling a bit more energetic as I did. “The only way a Changeling can die is if we are injured beyond any hope of life, and do not let your mind dwell on that either; a Changeling's body is quite resilient.”
I felt myself recoil a bit as the younger Queen buried her head in my wing. A soft sob drifted through my ears as she spoke up.
“I-I don't want to die... and I don't want you to die either...” She cried softly.
“Oh, oh, calm down now,” I whispered, letting her curl up next to me. “Listen, neither one of us is going to end up gone, alright?”
“P-promise?”
“I promise,” I replied, drying her eyes.
My view began to darken again. The void reformed, clear and constant as it was before, but my mind remained in pieces.
Prey... die...
Mortality, life withering and dying... It's not something I'd thought of before.
It was the first time I'd ever truly thought of death. I'd heard of Changelings being killed and lost while hunting, of course, but never had I thought that time might take my kin from me. The thought sapped my energy, made me feel vacant and hollow even here in the dark.
And made me feel like I wanted to cry again.
B-but Changelings don't...
Strange as these visions had been, I felt like I trusted that last Queen's words. Not once had I ever seen a Changeling rot and wither away. Never had the floor of the hive been coated with the corpses of fallen kin, nor had I seen a vast number of new Changelings flying about the Hive to replace any large amount of dead. Perhaps it was true. Maybe time couldn't touch us.
I let my mind calm for a few moments, thinking of this third Queen's words. Her soft speech stuck in my mind, reminding me of how Scarlet had always treated the swarm.
“She said she was thousands of moons old...” I thought.
I felt my energy return as a I considered something I hadn't ever thought of before. How old am I?
How long have I been on this world? I never did bother to count the days of my life; I saw no point in it before my emotions surfaced. Perhaps I'd existed since the earliest days of the Changelings. Maybe I was only hatched a few days ago. I still have no idea how long I've lived for, not even to this day.
Thinking on it only brought me more confusion, and more lost energy. The dullness of it started to creep back into me when another hum started to drift out from the emptiness. I listened, trying to make out the words as the sound drew close.
“What?” I thought, hearing the voice.
There were no words this time, only a gentle hum wafting out of the darkness. It was soft and gentle, climbing and sinking in pitch, and swaying to a steady yet slow beat. As I started to become solid again I pictured myself letting out a small gasp; the sound was familiar.
The room solidified around me. It was the same room as before, but this time I felt little comfort here. The hanging light was out and the room was draped in shadows. Several small fires burned, their flames kept lit by ever-melting pillars of wax. Some items were knocked over, broken, and almost seemed sad themselves. The bright, colored squares hung to the wall on slanted angles as if creeping up the wall. The bound collection of thin sheets sat open in front of me on a slightly burnt piece of wood, a fine set of green symbols scratched into its surface. This place, these objects, were so familiar but they felt wrong, tainted almost.
I turned my focus back to the song as the gentle tune drew to a close. Feelings of the Queen I saw through started to come to me.
I felt tired and sore. My back ached as if I'd flown for too long, and my limbs appeared scratched and battered. The odd webbing I had—the ones Queens have on their heads and rears—was matted and scorched, slivers of it hanging in my face.
I felt myself shift slightly. My sore limbs made it unpleasant, to say the least. My aura reached out, slamming the bound squares closed. My mouth shifted into a grin as my head tilted up.
“And she promised...” the not-me spoke, her voice warbling slightly.
In my mind I shivered, the energy my mental self had draining as I heard this Queen speak. The voice was calm and gentle but had a sort of agitated trill to it. Like everything else in this room it was familiar, yet disturbed.
“Well,” I continued, slowly standing, “so much for words...”
I looked around. Dark as it was, I could make out several shapes on the floor. They looked jagged in some parts, smooth in others, and each gave off a scent that made me cringe slightly.
“A-and that we'd never lose each other,” I laughed, my grin growing wider.
I felt my aura form around the hanging light. A few sparks formed inside of it as I focused and with a small click and a rush of air, light poured out as a flame began to burn. I still wish it hadn't.
The stone walls were stained green and blackened in spots. The entrance was nearly caved in and the stone itself had splintered and cracked inward. Bits of metal and wood lay strewn across the floor, leading to the mass of shapes lying in front of me.
“S-so much for that too,” I spat.
The not-me looked back to the still mass of things. I felt myself shiver slightly as the forms became clear to me, and they were something that I hope I never have to see in that state again. The shapes were Changelings, each lifeless and unmoving. Their bodies were twisted and cut. Some had scorches on their limbs and thorax while others were burnt into shapes barely recognizable. Horns were broken, wings were shattered, and the all of them wore twisted expressions that seemed to scream even in death.
I felt like I'd swallowed stale elixir.
“Although she was right on one thing.”
To my disgust, I watched myself step over the mass of dead Changelings toward the broken entrance. Just outside the doorway I noticed a larger form lying splayed out on the stone. It was thin, tall, and just as broken as the others. It was drenched in hemolymph and reeked of rot and decay, yet despite all of this I couldn't help but feel that empty slowness inside again. What still bothers me, even now, were the eyes, those faded eyes looked up slightly, looking horrified, yet serene and calm at the same time.
I felt a mix of that burning and a hollowness inside. My eyes watered, and my breathing became a bit chaotic.
“I'm never going to die,” I sobbed through my grin. “Do you hear me, Hedylidae?”
I froze inside. The twisted mess in front of me, that already-rotting body, was the same Queen I'd been just moments ago.
I wanted to look away so badly, but I still remember it... those calm eyes looking back at me.
“Well?!”
And then I saw it; the pinnacle of this horrid vision. In the shed hemolymph on the floor was a reflection. The doubt was gone then and there; that young Queen from before was the same I was seeing through at that moment.
“Answer me!”
She was the fallen Queen's daughter.
“Answer!” I screamed, shoving the body with my hoof.
She was fourth Queen of the High Swarm.
“Now!”
She was Scarlet, and she had killed the Queen that had come before her.
“T-this can't be real...” I thought, my mind slipping. “It can't...”
I struggled against my vision, my senses, and the frenzied state of my mind. In the end though, it was too much. I screamed inside. I screamed myself to pieces... and the world around me shattered as well.
I didn't know exactly when it ended. As the vision splintered apart I remember being thrown back into the void, but after that I found myself lying on my back. It was dark and cool. I noticed a faintly glowing mass above me, the bottom of it burst apart and dripping with a pale green fluid.
“W-where...” I began.
I twitched as I heard it. It wasn't a vision, or another not-me.
“I can speak again,” I panted, my senses slowly adjusting.
I was excited.
I had no idea where I was or what had happened, but I was excited. I will say this, after being apart from one's self, it is a relief like no other to come back.
I rolled over and righted myself. My legs stretched and bent, but all too soon I found myself lying back on the cold ground. I was a bit confused, but I couldn't care less; I was just elated to be me again. After a few tries I managed to get myself up, although it took some time to actually move about.
After a quick walk about, I tried to make some sense of where I was. The area around me was mostly barren, save for a few spots of glowing fungal growth. A pool of water sat near the transparent green... thing I'd found myself beneath, almost perfectly triangular rocks jutting out of its flat surface. A tall shaft towered above me, although from where I stood it was impossible to tell just where it led.
“Now if only I-”
“Chrysalis,” a voice said.
I froze as the sound met me. All at once, memories of my last vision flooded into my mind. The laughter, the sobs, the screams...
“Scarlet...” I murmured.
I heard faint hoof beats behind me as she approached.
“Well?” I heard in my mind. “Answer me!”
I shivered slightly my eyes closed tightly. I thought back on the vision, back further to the drones, the first time I'd felt fear. My eyes watered; I was afraid, and vexed at myself for it. After all, what Changeling truly feared their own Queen?
“Chrysalis?” Scarlet asked, merely inches away.
“What?!” I yelled, turning to face her. “What do you want from me?! You killed her and now you turn to me! What do you want?!”
I opened my eyes. My matron had recoiled slightly, her own eyes wide. Her mouth was down-turned slightly and a look of genuine concern was spread over her face.
I felt my legs give out below me. I fell to the hard stone floor in a shaking, crying mess.
“J-just don't...” I sobbed, “don't hurt me... please don't...”
I cringed as I felt her wings wrap around me. I waited for the pain I'd surely feel, but nothing came to me. I felt small drops of water drip on my neck as a quiet cry floated into my ears. My eyes drifted open; Scarlet's wings enclosed me, but instead of a fierce attack all she did was hold herself snugly to my side.
“Chrysalis, what happened?” She asked, leaning away slightly. “What did you see?”
I remained silent, my breathing still fast and my hemolymph pounding in my head.
“I... I should have told you,” Scarlet began, stifling her own sobs. “Queens, well... we're not born as normal Changelings are. We grow into ourselves, and getting there can be... hard.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to calm myself.
“The dreams you had while you were growing, well,” she said, “they're something every Queen goes through during her metamorphosis. I had them, my Queen did, every Queen has. It's something of a right of passage, I suppose, and some of them can be rather frightening.”
“They... weren't real?”
“No,” Scarlet dried her eyes, “no, not at all.”
“B-but it seemed so...” I stammered. “A-and you--”
“Chrysalis,” Scarlet interrupted, draping her wing on my front limb, “I would never want to hurt you. You know that.”
I didn't think at that point. I didn't need to. All at once I found my own wing wrapped around her, the two of us embracing one another. I felt calm inside again; the visions just a distant blemish in the back of my mind.
I noticed a new feeling inside as we sat there. It left a faint taste of passion elixir in my mouth.
Eventually we leaned away from each other, our wings folding flat to our sides. I noticed something was a bit off; my matron seemed to be on eye level with me.
“Scarlet,” I said.
She tilted her head in response.
“Why does it seem like you're... shorter?”
Scarlet barely managed to hold in a laugh.
“Come with me,” she said, walking over to the pool of water.
I followed my Queen to the water's edge. I felt uneasy, and off balance, as if I was missing pieces of myself. The feeling made me uneasy and a bit skittish, like needing to flee and not being able to. As I stumbled over to the stagnant pool, my matron motioned towards it, gesturing for me to look in. I was slightly nervous for some reason—I'm still not sure why—but none the less I slowly managed to look into the pool.
It was like the visions all over again. A new reflection greeted me, that of a Queen, but this one was different. The strange webbing was present, yet the strands were a pale bluish color. A jagged horn stood out from my head, and light green eyes followed my sight as I looked over myself. My chitin was black as it was before, and a green band surrounded my wing section. All of it ended with thin, long limbs, another set of blue strands on the end of my abdomen, and a broad pair of wings growing from my back.
“This is...” I breathed, “me?”
I felt a hoof on my back.
“And it's no vision this time,” Scarlet said, her gentle expression back once more. “And if I may say so, Queen Chrysalis, you look amazing.”
It was the first time I'd ever been called a Queen. It was a title I'd grow used to, but right then and there it was different... unique in a way, like a thing that only Scarlet could have given me. We sat there at the water's edge for a while, content to just be with each other. I still don't know what it's called, and I didn't consume anything while we were there, but for the rest of that moment, strange as it was, I tasted fresh elixir in my mouth.