Chapter 20: Pink Party
-Xavier's Recap-
It's been a few weeks since my little intervention. Visually, things hadn't changed between me and Rarity. She still whines and says stupid shit that makes me wanna punt her like a football, but I was still trying to see her more than just as a whiny bitch who stabbed one of my fillyfriends in the back who reminds me so much of the bitch who back-stabbed me years ago. I knew it was going to take some time. Lyra started hanging out with us more too. Bro allowed it since she wasn't coo-coo for cocoa puffs over humans anymore, figuring we've been here for a while and would probably be stuck here for a while. Our neighbors and friends made that fact bearable for us before it even became much of a bother.
That question has been lingering in my head for a while though. If by chance we had an opportunity to go back, would we? Would I really leave all of my friends here? I know Jeff would go back no questions asked. He hates it here. I have a life here. Good friends, two girlfriends that really care a lot about me, a good relationship with the rulers, and a good paying job. Back on Earth, I have no friends. Maybe Skype buddies that I miss, but I know eventually they'll move on with their lives off of the internet. I'll be seeing them less and less anyway. Speaking of which, I also miss the internet. I miss youtube. I miss Markiplier, jacksepticeye, Sl1pg8r, and Skydoesminecraft. Those guys were awesome! God knows how many games that came out since my disappearance, PC steam games, Xbox games, Wii/3DS games, OH GOD NOSTALGIA! Most of all, I still miss my mom and dad, and I feel bad that I can't at the very least send them a message telling them that their kids, along with Jack and his siblings, are all alive, okay, healthy, and well. Oh. One last thing I miss:
Boobs! GOD I MISS BOOBS SO MUCH!!! Ponies may have the 'flanks' and naked most of the time, but that's only half on my mind! I MISS THE LARGE SOFT JIGGLY BOOBS!!! There was this girl in my neighborhood that Jack and I used to watch jog around our street. The BOUNCINESS!
Ugh... I need to stop... I'm starting to sound like him too.
Fluttershy's birthday was a few weeks ago. Everyone ended up combining hers with Rarity's since hers was right around the corner. Pinkie threw a huge party for them, but for Fluttershy's sake, not too many people were invited. Rarity was this close to complaining, but the look I gave her shut her up quick. That kind've earned me the same look from AJ, Twi, and Skittles, but hey. I didn't care. We had enough people/ponies for everyone to talk to without making one of the birthday girls uncomfortable. Fluttershy made her birthday wish the same time as Rarity. I sure hope Flutters doesn't waste her wish on me being friends with Rarity. Of course, I asked her. She told me that she knew it'd be a waste and understood that it'd be something that would happen on its own. I felt bad that I didn't get her anything, but she said that my presence there was more than enough for her.
The next week, the cutie mark gang stayed a few nights to work on some school group homework or something. Rarity and I rarely speak directly to each other, but when she dropped Sweetie Belle off, she gave me a warning. Here's how it went down.
"I know you and I have our issues, but if you, so help me, try to take out your frustrations with me on her, I'll-"
"Let me stop you there. First of all... YOU AINT GON' DO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT~!"
"If yo-"
"YOU AIN'T GON DO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!"
"Listen here mister! I have-"
"YOU! AIN'T GON DO SHIT! YOU AIN'T GON DO IT!" I chanted, dancing around like Kevin Hart.
"Excuse me!!!"
"Second of all, this is a strange way to get me to be friends with you. I'm not Jeff. I don't do stuff like that."
"Fuck you too!" I heard Jeff say from another room.
Although her head was starting to turn a little pink from me cutting her off and taunting her, she was satisfied with my answer and left. There hasn't been much issues. Bro and I kept the little girls and boy out of trouble whenever they came over. Well, mostly bro. I stayed upstairs most of the time. If anyone was troubling me, it was him nagging me about being lazy. The only break we had from the kids was at a party Pinkie threw for her pet gator, Gummy. No complaints. Either way, everyone was happy, except for AJ. She looked a bit in pain. Kinda think of it, I rarely saw her since a few days after the intervention.
-End of Recap-
(Monday 4/18)
-Xavier's POV-
The morning had started off rough for me. Mainly because I was woken up by having cold water dumped on my head.
"Wake up!" Jack, you ass...
"What the hell man!"
"Heheh, wake up. You'll oversleep again."
"Look. Don't do that shit again." I warned him.
"Yeah yeah, just get up already!"
When he left, I groggily got up. I guess I overslept, so I went on ahead and got ready. After my morning routine, I got a breakfast bar and a foam cup of coffee before walking outside, only to find out that it was at the crack of dawn. JAAAAACK!!! I couldn't believe he got me up this early! I made a note to get him back later. Speak of the devil, he was walking out of the house.
"Care to explain why you got me up at the crack of dawn?"
"AJ needs help with her apple duty." We started walking
"Yeah well you're lucky I have my cup of joe. Otherwise, you'd end up in a world of hurt."
"Heheh, right."
We were still walking through town when the ponies started opening up shop or whatever they had to do. I never knew ponies were early risers. It hit me.
"Hey, I remember you telling me that AJ has been off of apple duty for a while, and something was off about her at the gator's party yesterday."
"Yeah. She couldn't walk straight. Her hind legs have been feeling funny."
Well that sucks.... "Sorry to hear. You're a good dude to help her out like that, ya know."
"Yeah, but I probably should've been easier on her."
Well, I guess it makes sense. He should've be- I turned and spat out a mouthful of coffee on an unfortunate mare that was going the other way. Of course, I gave a quick apology, but I turned my head back to Jack. "...What?!"
"Hey. She had the best night of her life that night."
I completely turned to him. "MY GOD!! What- How- ... How do you do someone with four legs?!"
"Xavier, you're forgetting who you're talking to. I know how to be creative."
"Oh... right." That's why people at school called you Captain Kirk. I was so shocked that I didn't see what I should've seen coming.
"You know, maybe you and Rainbow-" I cut it off, right then and there.
"NO!"
"Why not? You're gonna stay with her and not bang?"
"CHANGING THE TOPIC!!!" I said aloud, getting a lot of looks.
"Okay okay. Shit, dude.."
We continued our walk. After clearing some of the trees by playing basketball with the apples (Jack held the hoop and I shot the apples, only hitting him in the face once or twice). Mrs. Smith told us that they only needed 12 baskets today, so 12 we gave them. We Spotted AJ in the barn setting up for a party or something. Jack and I went to see what was up. Turns out, today was Pinkie's birthday and everyone was trying to keep it a surprise. Hah! That's gonna be a challenge. The girls were there discussing on how to keep everyone distracted. Twilight came up with an idea, and that was to avoid Pinkie at all costs to maintain the surprise. This will NOT work out very well, but I don't have a better idea right now. We all went our separate ways, Jack and I doing the rest of the list. When we finished, Pinkie appeared right in front of us, and she didn't look too happy.
"Sup Pinks?"
"WHY CAN'T YOU COME TO MY PARTY?!?"
"Uh, what party?"
"Gummy's after birthday party! You know! And yes! It's 'this afternoon' afternoon!"
Hm.. that's when the surprise birthday for Pinkie is supposed to be happening. I then got an idea.
"Sorry, Pinks. I won't be able to make it until then. How about postponing it until this evening?"
"I guess I could wait a little longer for the party as long as you show up. Okie dokie loki then!" She said, hopping off like Le Pew.
I turned to Jack. "New plan. I'll hang with Pinkie and keep her distracted while you tell the girls about the change of plans. You come get me when they're ready."
"Got it." Jack said. He dashed straight for the barn. I on the other hand, went to catch up to Pinkie. By the time I saw her again, she was at Sugarcube Corner already. Man, she's fast... I went in after her, waved to Mrs. Cake, and headed upstairs to her room. I could hear her talking to herself.
"Something strange is definitely going on around here, Gummy. Sure, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had to house-sit for that vacationing bear, but what are the chances all my other friends would have plans this afternoon too?"
....Whaaa? She bought that?!?
"Rarity has to wash her hair? Applejack has to pick apples? Twilight is behind on her studies and has to hit the books? Jack and Xavier are working today?!"
Twilight's possible, but AJ hadn't been picking apples for a while, and Rarity's... how long does it take for mares to wash their manes?
"The more I think about it, the more those are starting to sound like... excuses!!!" Yeah, Pinkie, you're finally catching on, but unfortunately for you, I have a surprise to help keep.
"Hey Pinks! Second thought, Jack said you and I could hang out. He said he didn't mind doing the work since he owes me one."
Pinkie turned around and stared suspiciously. Behind her, out the window, I could see Twilight sneaking around coming our direction. Not good!
"Besides, one thing I notice, I feel like we don't hang out enough." I said, trying to keep her attention.
"You're right! We don't! I'll go get the punch ready!" She said, zipping towards the door.
"NO WAIT!!!" I yelled, stopping her in her tracks. Gotta think! Gotta think!
"What is it, Xavi?"
"Uh, how about we just chill for a bit. We could have a chill party. Just relax."
"Why do that when we have lots of fun games to play?" Think, Xavier, think!
"Uh, we did all that stuff yesterday. Besides, you've never really 'chilled' with a human before."
"You're right! Let's do that then!" She trotted beside me and sat on her haunches. "So what do we do?"
Cmon Xavier, you can do this. You're doing good so far! "We just chill." I said, lying on my back on the floor.
Pinkie did the same, but started shifting after a while. "This is boring! I wanna play some party games!" This chick definitely has ADHD
"PInkie, just relax. Here. Let me help." I started scratching behind her ears, the weakness of all ponies.
"Oooooooh!" She closed her eyes and started thumping one of her hind hooves like a dog/rabbit. She moved onto my lap as I kept scratching.
Good. I have her right where I want her. All I need to do is keep her here until Jack gets here.
It was about an hour of ear scratching and relaxing until I noticed Pinkie's hair was completely deflated. She was looking right at me with a sad expression on her face. Uh oh.
"Xavi?"
"Yes Pinks? What's the matter?"
"Where are the others?"
"I don't know. Why ask?"
"I know you've been keeping me here so others won't come to Gummy's after-birthday party. I'm not a dummy. If they didn't want to be my friends anymore, why don't they just say so?" Her eyes were starting to get watery.
"Pinkie, they're good friends. Trust me on this one."
"Well why don't you just go and join them in avoiding me then?! I don't need you! I can find new friends!" Woah! Where the hell did THAT come from?
"Pinkie, calm down. No one's stabbing you in the back." There's a lit fuse that needs to be defused. One way to dissolve a situation like this: reason. "If anyone should know anything about backstabbers, it's me. I wouldn't do that to you, and I doubt your friends would either. Try thinking positive. Maybe they aren't coming to your party because they're tired or exhausted from yesterday's party and need some balance between fun and work. That's how things are at home anyway."
"Why wouldn't they just tell me?"
"It could be because they want your parties to be special. Your parties won't be special if you throw them all the time. It's probably something they don't want to get tired of."
"That's just silly! Nopony ever gets tired of a Pinkie Party."
"Pinkie, what would happen if you ate your favorite dish all the time"
"Cupcakes.."
"If you ate those same cupcakes, just those cupcakes, for three meals a day for a long time, I can tell you, they will not be your favorite for long. That's why special events should be held on special occasions. Otherwise they won't be so special for long."
"I think I understand." Pinkie's hair started inflating again.
"Good." I stroked her mane. However, when I did, something clamped down on my hand. I quickly pulled it out of Pinkie's mane.
Gummy... "Hehe! I think he likes you!"
"I like him too, when I'm not in his mouth. Don't want that to be a habit when he grows his teeth...."
Pinkie giggled. Just then, Jack came in. I didn't like the look on his face when he saw her on my lap, and me scratching behind her ears. Alone. In her room.
"Hiya Jacky!"
"Oh look what we have here! A little cuddle fest." This made Pinkie blush a little.
"Jack... Don't you even."
"Gee, Xavier, one would think two would be enough. I guess I'll ship it."
"Hehehe, it's not like that silly! We were just chilling out." She said, her blush still visible.
"Anyway, I'm gonna need both of your help for a moment." Jack said, pointing to us two.
"Sure.." I responded.
We all headed to the barn. Pinkie was on my back. It was a good walk, although at some point and time, Pinkie started holding on tighter, fueling Jack's inner troll's hunger. I could see that lookin his face. Say one word, Mr. Williams, and you will meet your end by my imaginary blade. He didn't say anything though. He just looked at me with his 'card crusher' face. When we got there, Jack told us to wait outside.
"Why? Why're we at the barn?"
"Jack and AJ need our help with something."
Jack cracked the door and motioned for us to come in.
"SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PINKIE!!"
Jack took a picture of the look on Pinkie's face. It looked like the top half of her head was going to come off. She pulled everyone, me included into a group hug. I had to hold my breath and close my eyes, being claustrophobic and all. There were so many 'thank you's coming from her mouth. Sure she apologized for doubting everyone, but it was all good. The party was on way, everyone was doing their own thing (meaning I wasn't paying much attention). I was pulled out of my little trance when I noticed Twilight talking aloud while writing something.
"Hey Sparks."
She put down her quill and giggled. "Sparks? That's a new one."
"Whatcha doin?" I asked, looking over her shoulder.
"I'm writing a friendship report letter to the princess." Twilight said.
"Why?"
"Well, it's part of my mission here to make some friends and write reports to her on anything I learn."
"...Why?" I repeated.
"Don't ask me. Ask the princess." She continued writing again.
"Are you done?"
"Yes."
"Can I add something?"
She looked at me as if I was up to something. "Uh, sure. What do you wanna add?"
"Tell her that Stiffley Erecticus said hey." I said with a huge grin.
"Who?" Seems like the joke went right over her head.
"-snicker- Just do it." She did, and as soon as she got Spike to send it, I burst out laughing. She just rolled her eyes and went back to the party. Since everyone was there and partying, I knew it was going to be a fun night.
