By the time the sun set on Ponyville, Twilight was well entrenched in her library. She’d made a nest, composed equally of books on pegasus culture and used wine glasses. There were treatises on tradition in Cloudsdale, a history of marriage in Equestria, pegasus/pegasus romance novels, and quite a few other things she hadn’t gotten too yet. She read quickly, chewing through tomes as she drank her way through the finer things.
“Spike!” she called, when the glass she held to her lips turned out to be empty. “Refill!”
It took only a few moments for the pitter-patter of little dragon feet on the stairs to become audible, and for Spike to appear in the doorway. He looked in on Twilight, and her glasses and her pile of books, but notably was empty handed: “I uh… I think you’ve had enough, Twilight.”
“It’s my castle, I’ll drink as much as I want,” she insisted. “Celestia is sending us six casks of wine. It’s not like we’re going to run out.”
“But…” Spike tapped his claws together. “That’s not wine, that’s grape juice.”
“Excessive drinking makes me feel sick.” Twilight shook out her tail, trying to focus on her book. “Plus I don’t want to be drunk when Cadence arrives in an hour and a half.”
“But…” Spike frowned. “Then why do you keep having me bring it to you in a wine-”
“Because mimicking self-medicating behaviors is itself a form of self medicating behavior!” Twilight snapped, letting out a frustrated snort. “Honestly, Spike! It’s like you didn’t even read those books on anxiety disorders I got you for your birthday.”
“Uh…” Spike scratched the back of his head. “Yeah. How could I forget… that birthday.” After a moment, he let out a sigh, and trotted up to Twilight’s side. “Well, have you found anything interesting at least?”
“You could say that.” Twilight lowered her head, shut her eyes, and blindly gestured down at the book she was reading. “They’re about affairs.”
“What is?” Spike asked, glancing over the titles around him as he walked into Twilight’s side of the book nest.
“All of it. Classical legends. Philosophical works on the nature of love. Contemporary romance novels.” Twilight shut the book she was reading and held it up to Spike so he could examine the cover.
“Blown away?” he asked, eyeing the cover art. It depicted two pegasus mares hoof and hoof in the clouds, wings upraised, surrounded by an artful halo of swirling shed feathers. “‘You’ve seen the movie, now read the book.’”
“It’s a story,” Twilight said, checking over her empty wine glasses for some remnant of liquid before letting out a long sigh, “about a mare named Both Ways, trapped in a boring and loveless marriage, who realizes that she has feelings for other mares when she falls in love with Misty, a friend from her old college days. She pretends to take up distance flying so her family won’t think it’s odd that she’s out of the house so much, and for six months, she has a secret affair with Misty under the nose of her apparently faithful husband.”
“Eesh…” Spike frowned, and tapped his claws together. “That’s kind of grim. Does it just, end like that? Or do Ways and her husband break up or something?”
“No!” Twilight shook her head. “Misty and Both Ways break up. After six months, Both Ways gets bored with Misty and realizes that, in her words, ‘it’s not my husband’s fault that passion has a shelf life.’ She decides it’s not worth losing her kids and house over ‘some mare’ and the two have a tragic breakup scene!” Twilight huffed, loudly. “Apparently, it inspired a movie! A movie that’s super popular in Cloudsdale but that was banned from just about every ground-based movie theater.”
“Because…”
“Because it’s morally horrifying!” Twilight lifted a hoof to the air, adding quickly. “Also, because it had a lot of graphic s…” She eyed Spike. “Kissing.”
“Ew.” He made a face. “Why would you show that in a movie?”
“I don’t know! I don’t know why Pegasus romance apparently requires me to know what sort of… kissing, makes Both Ways…” She paused. “Temporarily very happy. But that’s not the point!” She shook her head, and rose from where she sat. “The point is, they’re all like that. That’s not how a romance is supposed to work. Mare meets stallion, mare and stallion get to know each other, mare and stallion fall in love, mare asks stallion to marry her, live happily ever after!”
Twilight huffed in silence for several seconds, before stamping her hoof in the ground. “And that’s what Cadence and Shining did and she’s the Princess of Love! That’s how it’s supposed to work.” She shook out her mane, and trotted sharply over to the window. “At least now I understand how I never got exposed to this stuff growing up. It’s vile!”
“So is uh…” Spike asked, hesitantly tapping his claws together again. “Is this going to make things, you know, harder with you and Thunderlane?”
“I don’t know.” Twilight lifted her hoof to her face. “I assume he’s going to be with Cadence and my parents on the train, so… they must have been talking that whole way. By the time they arrive, surely Cadence and my parents will realize I barely know him? Honestly, this might self-destruct without my even needing to call it off. And even if it doesn’t… well. Rainbow says he’s an even-tempered guy and that he’ll understand. So it’s not like I’m anticipating a big fight. It’s just… a heck of a thing to discover.”
“Like discovering that you’re destined to wield the element of magic and also an immortal princess?” Spike suggested, hurrying up to Twilight’s side. “Because, you know. That was a big thing too, I mean. And you got through that just fine.”
Twilight turned her head down from the window to look at Spike, and after a moment, smiled. “You know, Spike? You’re right.” She reached out with a hoof to noogie his head. “And you know what else? I’m sorry I’m dragging you through all this craziness with Thunderlane. I know you get swept up in these adventures every time. But no matter how crazy they get, you’ve always been there for me. I didn’t learn about the magic of friendship until I came to Ponyville, but in a way, you were my first and best—”
Downstairs, a loud bell chimed to announce a pony was at the castle gates. “Oh, nevermind. Spike go see who it is, would you? And bring these glasses downstairs while you’re at it.”
A few minutes later, Fluttershy found her way up into the library. Under the best of circumstances, Fluttershy was a slight creature, but as she stepped over to Twilight she seemed to shrink inwards. She ducked low to keep out of sight of the windows, kept her tail tight in against her body, and wore a heavy hooded cloak that kept her head, wings, and cutie mark concealed.
“Fluttershy!?” Twilight rushed to her friend’s side. “What’s wrong? Are you—”
“Shhhh,” Fluttershy lifted a hoof to her lips. “Don’t say my name.” She checked out the window quickly, and then hurriedly ducked her head out of sight. “Twilight, is it okay if I stay in one of the palace spare rooms for a few days? Or a few weeks, maybe? And you can’t tell anypony I’m here.”
“Yes, of course,” Twilight said at once. She leaned in close to Fluttershy, ducked below the window, and lowered her voice. “But… what’s happening?”
“Oh, it’s awful, Twilight!” she whispered back, squeezing her eyes shut a moment. “With the wedding planning, all sorts of pegasi are arriving in town! I know your wedding isn’t for two weeks, but all the inns and spare rooms in Ponyville are going to be rented by tomorrow morning, so they’re here now! Ponies I never wanted to see again. Ponies I left Cloudsdale to get away from.”
“Oh, no!” Twilight reached out to hold Fluttershy’s hoof with her own. “Are you okay? Did anything happen?”
“No, I got away in time, but… Twilight.” Fluttershy sucked in a tight breath. “My wife is in town. And she knows I’m here!”
Twilight drew in a long breath. She lowered her head. Let it out. “I hate pegasus culture so much.”
Fluttershy’s eyes opened wide. “You too?” she asked, hopeful. “That’s great! But then, why did you agree to a traditional marriage with Thunderlane?”
“I didn’t. I’m not…” Twilight thought back to the argument with Rainbow earlier. “It was a misunderstanding. I’ve never seen the gifting ceremony before and he never used the word ‘married’. I didn’t recognize it until after it was done, and I’m going to call it off tonight when he, my parents, and Cadence all get into town. They’ll be here in an hour.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Fluttershy said, squeezing Twilight’s hoof back. “It’s an awful custom, Twilight. Just awful! You don’t know how lucky you are to avoid it.”
“Okay, right…” Twilight rubbed her temples with her free hoof. “Let’s go back to the part where you have a wife? I mean…” Twilight gestured. “Is that even a thing for non-unicorns? Nopony would think that’s odd in Canterlot, but Pinkie Pie said her family didn’t approve of homosexual relationships.”
“Pinkie Pie is an earth pony, Twilight.” Fluttershy shook her head. “It’s best not to ask what they think.”
“Wow. There is a lot more socio-racial tension in Equestria than I previously realized.” Twilight sat there in a daze for a moment, trying to assimilate the new information in front of her. “And, how has this never come up before?”
“Because I don’t want it to come up!” Fluttershy ducked even lower, like her unseen observers were just outside the window peering in. “I was sixteen, Twilight! I was just moving from Cloudsdale to Ponyville to get away from those bullies and that awful city and the traditional pegasus ways.” She sneered as she emphasized the phrase. “And then my parents showed up with this noblepony named Shady Sands in tow, and everypony was staring at me. I couldn't handle the pressure, Twilight! I said yes just to get away from them!”
“Oh… oh my gosh.” Twilight frowned, leaning in closer to her friend. “What happened? You’re hiding from her?”
“I have too. I wouldn't call it off, or talk about divorce. There was just too much pressure. All those ponies staring!” Fluttershy let out a loud squeak. “I told her I joined the army. I’ve been writing letters to her every month about fighting the changeling menace!”
A long sniffle escaped Fluttershy, and she buried her head in her free hoof. “I just can’t deal with it, Twilight! I tried to see her. To make it work. I did! But every time I stop over, just trying to talk with her, she’s cooked something special for us and there’s a trail of rose petals leading to the bed and she uses those little tips of her teeth to nibble on my ears and whisper that I’m beautiful.”
“I mean, she paid for my cottage and a house in Cloudsdale just so I could live wherever I wanted! Two houses!” Her sniffling grew more intense, and her eyes watered up: “How is one mare supposed to handle that!?”
“That. I, uh…” Twilight coughed. “That does sound terrible. I mean it… no.” She shook her head firmly. “No, you know what? Forget it. No, Fluttershy. You can’t stay here. Because I’m your friend, and friends don’t let their friends live their lives in fear!” She wrapped a leg around Fluttershy’s shoulders, and pulled her to her hooves. “We’re going to go find your wife, right now. You’re telling her you don’t love her, and by the power invested in me by the Equestrian monarchy, I am declaring you two divorced.”
Fluttershy gaped. “Twilight! No, you can’t possibly… I mean. Can you even do that?”
“Can I fly?” Twilight demanded. “Do I have big hooves and oddly strong hindquarters? Do I shoot lasers from my forehead?”
“Well, yes, but-”
“Then I can do that!” Twilight’s voice boomed, in a remarkable impression of Luna’s own Royal Canterlot Voice. “And I’m going to do that.” She gave Fluttershy an affirming squeeze. “Right now. I’m bucking this awful tradition. Are you with me?”
“Yeah…” Fluttershy agreed quietly. Then more loudly, “Yeah! Let’s march into town right now! I am so ready to do this!”
The two of them flew into town from the palace balcony, checking with each of the inns and public houses to see if a mare named Shady Sands had rented a room there. Finally, as time went on, a helpful pony in the square directed them to one of the townhouses near the market. Apparently, it rented. Resolute, the two of them flew that way, pressing through the evening crowds that were moving in and out of the taverns or clustering around the train station.
Then Twilight knocked.
“I’m so ready,” Fluttershy said, though her voice was barely above a whisper, and had picked up a nervous wheeze. “So ready. So ready. Just going to tell her that I don’t love her, and that’ll be that. So ready for this.”
“You are,” Twilight assured her, patting her shoulder. “It’s time to hold your head up and look your oppressor in the eye!”
Then the door opened, and both of them looked Shady Sands in the eyes. Her golden, slitted eyes. They were the only things that stood out in the dark. The interior of the house was unlit, but the light of the street lamps was enough to make her eyes shine. Everything else was half-observed. Vague shapes in the shadows. A dark coat that faded into the gloom, visible only as the motion of legs and the movement of the body. Leathery wings that were no more than a vague impression of purple, and the little tips of claws. A short tail, like a brush, attached to an athletic frame. There was strength, and there were curves, tufted ears, and the all-seeing eye of Luna on a choker around her throat. There was a little gasp of breath. The flash of fangs in the darkness.
“Fluttershy!” Shady Sands whispered. A hoof gestured, and Fluttershy was pulled through the door like metal to a magnet. In an instant, she was in Shady Sands hooves, their noses so gently pressed together. “My brave soldier.” In the shadows of the house, Shady was still concealed, Fluttershy half in the light and half hidden. Twilight could see their lips brush, see Shady’s choker fog with the heat from Fluttershy’s breath. Shady’s hoof stroked back Fluttershy’s mane, holding her face so steady. Shady leaned in.
“Woah! Woah!” Twilight’s horn came to life, illuminating the entire ground level of the house in a bright purple glow. She shoved her way through the door, and pushed Shady back. She stumbled away, now clearly visible. A bat pony, with hair like a stallion but curves like a mare. Bright eyes and sharp fangs. And something mystic about her. Her jewelry. Her motions. The way a thought was enough to pull Fluttershy in.
“Excuse me?” Shady recovered quickly, taking a half step towards Twilight. “You may be a Princess, your Highness, but this is my house and that’s my wife.”
“Huh?” Twilight snapped out of a daze, shaking her head. “Yeah, well! Uh… you may be physically perfect, but uh…” She coughed. “Fluttershy has things to say to you!”
“Yeah, um… Shady?” Fluttershy looked at the ground. “That is… um. You know. We’ve known eachother for a long time? Well not that long a time in the cosmic sense of things. Actually a relatively short time. But it’s been an eventful time. And I’ve been away a lot. So I guess, you know…”
“Oh. Oh.” Recognition dawned on Shady’s face. “Oh, Fluttershy. Is that was this is about? Shhh.” She cooed. A hoof reached down to catch the underside of Fluttershy’s chin, gently lifting her head from the ground. Only once it was level did Shady plant a kiss on her forehead, nuzzling up against her coat. She laughed. “You gave me a bit of a start there. But it’s okay. I know.”
“You… do?” Fluttershy hesitantly pulled away.
“Of course. You have been at war for many years! Almost as long as we’ve been married. It changes a pony. You meet new ponies. Sisters in arms.” She wrapped a leg around Fluttershy’s shoulder, and gestured at Twilight. “And the Princess is obviously jealous.”
“I am-!” Twilight stammered. “So not jealous!” Her hoof stamped. “And you cut your hair like a stallion! That’s dumb and confusing!”
Shady smiled, revealing her two little fangs. “You see? There’s nothing to confess.” She nosed against Fluttershy again. “I won’t say I was looking forward to this day. But with you at war so long… well. I knew it would happen.”
“Oh… you did?” Fluttershy’s ears perked up. “And, you’re not mad?”
“Well, I’m not happy, but…” Shady let out a long breath. “Well, we all make sacrifices for those we care about. And really, a Princess! It’s not like you could have done better. Now how about you come in? I’ll make that tea you like and get to meet your lover.”
“Woah woah! No!” Twilight spread her hooves. “No, Shady! That is not the direction this is going!” She looked at Fluttershy. “Tell her.”
“Shady…” Fluttershy took a deep breath. Steeled herself. A squeak escaped her. “I’m leaving you.”
Shady stared. Gaped. “What?”
“I never wanted to marry you. My family just pushed me into it. And…” Fluttershy tightened her frame, shivering as she pulled away. “I can’t deal with anymore.”
“No no. Fluttershy. Shhh.” Shady took a quick step forward and brushed Fluttershy’s mane with her hoof. “Shhh. No no. Please. Don’t be afraid. Whatever this is, we’ll fix it. Just… just don’t be…” She looked between Fluttershy and Twilight. Then her eyes settled on the princess, and narrowed, the slits in them tightening until they were nearly lines. “You. You made her say this.”
“I did not!” Twilight insisted. “She’s felt that way for years.”
“Oh, sure. She’s felt that way for years, never said a word, but suddenly comes out now that you’re here!?” Shady bellowed. Another two sharp steps brought her face to face with Twilight, her fangs barred. Twilight stumbled back, and the two ended up in the street. “It wasn’t enough to sleep with another pony’s wife while they’re at war, you had to make sure you had her all to yourself!?”
“Woah woah!” Twilight backed up another step, her own eyes narrowing. “It—no. It is not like that. Fluttershy and I aren’t together. And I didn’t make her leave you. She doesn’t love you, Shady!”
“And she does love you, is that it!?” Shady bellowed, another sharp step pushing Twilight back. Her fangs bared, and a low hiss escaped her throat. “Enough to hang around by your side while you go marry the money-and-title from Cloudsdale? Fluttershy is a beautiful creature. She needs to be free. You can’t own her!”
“I don’t want to own her!” Twilight bellowed back. “I told you, we’re not like that! And she is free! And now that she’s free she certainly doesn’t want to be with you anymore, does she?”
“You wife-stealing HARLOT!” Shady launched herself at Twilight, her hoof colliding with the side of Twilight’s face. Ponies gasped and stared as the two went down in a pile. Hooves swung, hair was pulled, sharp knees were applied to unprepared ribcages. A cloud of dislodged feathers floated around them as the two neighed and whinnied at each other, until finally, a purple light shone out of the grapple.
“That’s enough!” Twilight shouted, a purple glow surrounding Shady and lifting her high off the ground. Bruised and scraped, Twilight stumbled back to her hooves, sucking down a number of long, deep breaths. “Shady Sands, your marriage to Fluttershy is a farce and it always was! She doesn't love you, and she needs to be with somepony who loves her.”
Twilight lifted off the ground and spread her wings in her best impression of Princess Luna, her voice booming and ringing out so loud that all of Ponyville was woken from their beds. “And so by the power invested in me by the monarchy, by the power of Harmony, and by all of Equestria, and declare your marriage to Fluttershy null and void! Now get out of my town!”
Twilight’s horn shone, and Shady Sands vanished with a pop and a flash of light.
Twilight settled back to the ground, catching her breath. She looked around to make sure everypony was alright. Fluttershy was hyperventilating and would obviously need a hug, but she didn’t seem like she’d gotten hurt. There were quite a lot of bystanders around, but nopony had been close enough to the fight to catch a stray blow. And there was Princess Cadence, and Shining Armor, and her parents, all staring.
They seemed fine too.