It was that dream.
Again.
It had become a recurring nightmare of mine. At first I ignored it, after all it’s only one bad dream, right?
But it came back again.
And again.
And again.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had that dream. I think it’s been weeks, but I don’t remember anymore.
I haven’t slept well for days.
I think all of my friends have noticed, but no one wants to say anything.
I really wish they would say something, maybe one of them know of something that could help me.
The dream is...strange. All dreams are strange, that’s what makes them interesting.
But this one disturbs me.
In that dream, I’m a recluse. I live alone, doing nothing but studying endlessly with my little assistant. My home is in ruins, books sit dusty on the shelves, as cobwebs coat everything. Even my assistant can’t keep cleaning everything.
I’ve shunned those who might reach out: new ponies who think that all I needed to do was make a few friends so that I could see how good life really is.
I’ve shunned those who used to be my friends. Back when I really was the studious little student of Princess Celestia. In the dream I’ve forgotten how long it’s been, but even though we haven’t seen each other in years, they still considered me to be their friend.
It wasn’t that different in real life. Between arriving in Ponyville and the adventures I’ve had with my new friends, I had forgotten all about them.
But I remembered in time and the spark of old friendships was rekindled.
and I’m glad about that.
Other ponies appear in the dream as well. Ponies I’ve gotten to know after leaving Canterlot and going to places like Apploosa, Manehatten, the Crystal Empire….
Even worse, the ponies that appear in my dreams are my friends.
My very best friends.
The Elements of Harmony.
The ponies whose friendship made me into who I am today.
Without their help, I wouldn’t have ascended to princesshood.
It’s the same scene playing over and over.
There’s a knock on the door.
I answer it and open the door to see an entire group of smiling ponies. Some of them are even bearing gifts.
At the head of the group is the pony that was my best friend when we were younger students.
Every bit as studious and intelligent as me.
As we grew older, we sort of drifted apart.
I realized what happened and went back to Canterlot to rekindle our friendship.
It wasn’t easy and I can’t say I blame her, but we’re once again friends.
In the dream, she’s the one who’s gone out and made friends. She’s the one who’s gone out into the real world and created a life for herself.
I think that my subconscious did that on purpose. In many ways, I’ve could have gone down that path, and she could have been the one who led the Elements of Harmony against the many threats that the Equestria has faced.
It’s a scary thought of what might have been and what could have been.
Would she make the same decisions I did?
Would she have succumbed to the same doubts and fears that I had?
But that matters little in the dream, she represents everything that I could have been and that’s all that matters there.
She opens her mouth to say something, but I never heard what she said.
In my dream, I’ve slammed the door on her.
On all of them.
And then I awoke with a gasp.
I bolted up, breathing heavily and drenched in ice-cold sweat.
Again.
I continue to pant as I focused on my surrounds again.
My books, my desk, and the rest of my room is illuminated by moonlight.
Moonlight.
What time is it?
I glanced over at the alarm clock:
“It’s one forty-seven?” I groan in disbelief.
With a groan, I slump back into bed.
But I still can’t sleep. The dream was too vivid, too real, too….
My train of thought gets derailed as I hear the scrape of clawed nails on the floor. The door creaks open as the head of my number one assistant peaks in.
“Spike?” the door opens further revealing the purple dragon. He yawned as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
“I heard you scream, what’s going on?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but something he said caught me off guard, “...I screamed?”
“Yeah, you woke me up, is something wrong?”
“It’s…” I paused again ,uncertain of how to continue, “I had a nightmare.”
“....and?”
“You don’t get it Spike, I’ve been having the same dream over and over.”
“That’s weird,” he paused and scratched his chin in thought, “Did you talk to Princess Luna about it?”
“No...Not yet,” I force myself to admit. I never thought about asking her, the Princess of the Night has been busy lately. All of the Princesses have been.
“I’ll send her a letter in the morning. The actual morning,when the sun is up, I mean.” I hastily added.
“Um...Yeah, I kinda hoped so.” Spike rubbed his eyes again, “What did you dream about anyway?”
“I...I dreamt that I never had this opportunity.”
“What, to have nightmares?”
“No Spike, I dreamt that I never had the opportunity to come to Ponyville and make friends,” I sighed, rubbing my temples.
“In my dream, I’m back in Canterlot. I have no friends and all I do is study.”
“You mean like-”
“Yes. Exactly like that.” I cut him off, “I...It’s silly, isn’t it Spike?”
“...I dunno,” he shrugged, “I mean, is this because of all the stuff that Starlight did?”
“I...I don’t know, Spike.”
“...I think you should talk to Princess Celestia about it,” Spike stated, “This sounds like you need help from somepony else.”
“...I think you’re right, Spike.” I sighed, “I’ve been so stressed out I haven’t been thinking straight.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” He puffed out his chest in pride.
"I suppose that's why you're my number one assistant."
Spike opened his mouth to add something, but ended up stifling a yawn instead, “I’m going back to sleep.”
“That’s a good idea,” I yawned as sleep began to overtake me once again.
“Good night, Spike.”
“Good night, Moon Dancer.”