Joseph spent the rest of the day holing up in the basement. He lost track of time as he busied himself by trying to figure out why the bullets on the table didn’t go straight through his hand. By all logic, he shouldn’t have been able to stop them and by extension, lose the use of his hand. He gingerly moved the fingers of his left hand, wincing at the feeling while he leaned against a table. On another table in front of him, the three bloody bullets sat, the blood on them having hardened some time ago.
Joseph frowned at them, moving his gaze back and forth between his bandaged hand and the bullets. He then picked one of them up and measured it against his hand, trying to see how he could have possibly stopped it. The bullet was roughly half the size of his hand width so he could see how it was possible but still, the speed at which the bullets were traveling should have shredded his hand, not get lodged in the flesh.
‘How on earth did I do this?’ Joseph thought but was interrupted from thinking further on the matter when the door to the basement creaked open.
“Joseph? You in here?” Twilight called out before entering the room herself. She took a quick look around and walked down the stairs upon seeing a splotch of red on one of her lab tables. Upon closer inspection, she found three bloody bullets. “Bullets…? Why are there bullets here?” she asked herself, casting a quick spell to see if there was anyone else in the room besides her.
When he heard the door open, Joseph immediately hid under one of the tables, feeling very tempted to say, ‘no-one in here but us tables!’. He held his breath though when he saw Twilight stop in front of the table he was hiding under. He felt a tingling sensation go through him, signalling that she had cast a spell.
“Found you! What are you doing under there?” Twilight asked, smiling at having finally found him. Joseph gave a yelp and immediately rose, bumping his head on the table and making the bullets roll off and onto the floor.
“Hiding.” Joseph said, rubbing the sore spot on his head as he carefully hid his bandaged hand in his pocket.
“From what?” Twilight asked in concern, backing up so Joseph could have some room to get out from under the table.
“Uhm, you?” Joseph asked sheepishly, giving her a strained smile.
“Why? What did you do?” Twilight asked, narrowing her eyes as she looked him up and down and noticed his hand was in his pocket along with a bit of white cloth covering up the sleeve. “Your hand looks like it’s been bandaged up,” she said with a sudden grim look on her face.
“That’s the reason I was trying to hide.” Joseph said with a sigh, pulling his hand out of his pocket and showing her the bloodied bandages. “Nothing get by you, does it,” he said, stating a fact. “I’ll assume you saw the bullets so I’ll just say it to you straight, Sheila. My hand got shot by turrets while I was trying to summon Vash to help me out,” he explained, bracing himself mentally for a Twilight rage attack.
“You … you went into … Aperture?” Twilight asked him slowly, trying desperately to not attack him on the spot.
Joseph gulped, slowly backing away with his hands raised up in a surrendering position. “I know you told me not to, but I couldn’t help myself!” Joseph protested. “I thought it would help in relieving the stress but it did nothing. If anything, digging bullets out of my hand, which should not have been possible, only added to it!”
“So? You disobeyed us! Pinkie and I both told you to take a break and what do you do? You go into Aperture and get shot!” Twilight shot back, keeping in step with Joseph, who swore he saw little flames poof up every time she lifted a hoof.
“In my defense, I did not go into Aperture, at first. I first walked passed it and through some blue flowers to practice with my gun and then I went into Aperture.” Joseph replied, getting a slightly scared look at how angry he had made Twilight. “This probably isn’t helping,” he muttered to himself.
“No, it’s not. The colour of the flowers suggest Poison Joke but since we got no idea how it will affect you, I’m willing to hit you. We gave you one job to do, and you did not do it.” Twilight’s manner went from furious to cold when she heard him try to explain.
“Poison Joke? I got poisoned by walking through some odd-looking flowers?” Joseph asked, the name of the plant surprising him enough to lower his arms and momentarily forget about convincing Twilight not to roast him.
“No, you didn’t get poisoned. You got a joke, or more specifically, a prank, placed on you. It will most likely manifest in whatever form it may tomorrow morning while you sleep tonight.” Twilight explained to him, stopping her advancements when he stopped. When he did stop walking backwards, Twilight sat down and flicked her tail back and forth in annoyance.
“A … joke. A blue flower can make pranks on ponies. Of course it can!” Joseph said, throwing his arms wide open with a manic smile. “I may as well go to sleep right now and see what this stupid plant does to me!” he added, picking up his gun and tearing up the stairs to his room.
This left Twilight blinking in confusion, her mouth slightly open as she looked at the last place she saw Joseph. “What … was that?” she asked herself, completely forgetting about wanting to hit him earlier.
“Hey, Twilight? Was that Joseph slamming the door to his room?” Spike asked, poking his head into the basement and looking down at Twilight on the lower level in confusion.
“I think it was … why?” Twilight asked, perking up a bit and walking up the stairs towards the little dragon.
“It’s just that, I think I saw his hair turning green.” Spike answered, scratching the back of one of his claws in confusion.
“That would most likely be the Poison Joke taking effect. He walked through a field of it earlier today, apparently.” Twilight said, shaking her head as she tried to figure out what the Poison Joke was doing to him. “It most likely began when he ran up the stairs because I didn’t see his hair turning green at all when he was in the basement,” she added, walking up the stairs to her own room. “We’ll see what happens in the morning. Night, Spike.”
“Yeah, night, Twilight.” Spike called back, lost in thought about what the Poison Joke could potentially do to a human.
In the morning, Joseph woke up with a stretch. He blinked a bit at the sunlight streaming in through the window and went into the bathroom to wash up. As he looked at himself in the mirror, he found that his hair had turned completely green, his eyes had a sickly green glow to them and his face seemed to be plastered in a permanent smile. He tried to turn his mouth into a more normal shape but was unsuccessful.
“Well that’s positively … what’s the word? Boring? No … that’s not it.” Joseph said to himself quietly in a slightly raspy voice. His throat felt like sandpaper as he rubbed his hand against it. Joseph leaned away from the basin, gave a little twirl and leaned back, trying to think of a word. After doing this a few more times, he laughed and snapped his fingers, finally thinking of the word. “Ghastly! Perfect. Now if only I had the actual Pokemon …” Joseph mused, tapping a finger against his chin for a bit before walking out the bathroom and down the stairs, passing Spike along the way.
“‘Ello Spike! What’s been happening?” Joseph asked the drake, pausing on his way down the steps and looking up at him, noticing that Spike was facing the other way.
“Breakfast. You just missed it.” Spike replied automatically, then turned around to face Joseph, hearing the odd rasp in his voice. He looked him up and down, noticing the bright green hair and glowing eyes, as well as the smile on his face. He then focused on the hair and burst out laughing, nearly falling down the stairs in his laughter.
“Shame. Would have liked some green eggs and ham.” Joseph said with a shrug and chuckled slightly at Spike. “Why you laughing so hard? Must have been a good joke someone told you.” Joseph said and crossed his arms, waiting for Spike to finish. After a few moments, Spike quieted down and walked back down the stairs, letting out a few chuckles.
“It’s sort of like a joke … it’s just your hair that made me laugh.” Spike answered, shaking his head a bit at Joseph’s reaction to breakfast. “I don’t think eggs work like that. Wouldn’t they just be mouldy and not really good to eat?”
“It’s called a joke, kid.” Joseph groaned, facepalming and walking down the rest of the way, following Spike into the kitchen. He scratched his head a bit, and smiled a bit wider when he saw Twilight sitting there, finishing off the last of her meal. “What’s up Notbright Spackle?”
Twilight’s ears perked up at this and looked at the raspy voice, letting out a slight chuckle at the hair colour but other than that, was more than a bit shocked at the use of a different name.
“I don’t know what you’ve been hearing, but my name isn’t Notbright Spackle, it’s Twilight Sparkle. You should know that by now, Joseph.” Twilight replied, looking at him curiously to see if any other changes occurred other than a change in hair colour and a seemingly sore throat.
“Joseph? Oh, you mean the Aussie making a ruckus in here?” Joseph asked, tapping a finger against the side of his temple, “Yeah, I’m Jack, I’ve taken over and now I’m going to wreak havoc on the town.” Jack said simply, crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, feeling quite pleased with himself.
“Interesting. The Poison Joke gave you an alternate personality. Wait. What was that last bit? Wreak havoc on the town?” Twilight said and reeled back as the rest of what he said clicked with her.
“Yup. I feel like causing a bit of mayhem today and what better way to do that than to mess with a few ponies, huh?” Jack replied with a laugh, standing up suddenly and stretched.
“If you want to cause mayhem, ask Pinkie or Rainbow Dash to help.” Spike supplied, grinning from ear to ear at Jack. He then found Twilight giving him a stink eye and just smiled in return. “What? I’m only trying to help. I rather like this personality,” Spike shrugged.
“And you’ve made my heart sing. Where would I find them at … ten in the morning. Wow we have breakfast late.” Jack said, glancing at the clock above the kitchen door. He made his face look more neutral, even though his lips still grinned.
“That’s a bit unsettling.” Twilight commented, looking at Jack’s mouth with interest and as well as a slight bit of worry etched on her face.
“What? My permanent grin? I like it. Joseph will feel the pain though, if he ever gets control back.” Jack replied with a wave of his hand. “I’ll go and bother Pinkie about getting those deat- pranks setup around town,” he added and gave the both of them a wave goodbye before heading out. He made a quick pitstop by the basement though to pocket the bullets Joseph had dug out of his hand, as well as taking one of the smallest beakers he could find.
After having done so, he twirled, gave a short bark of laughter and raced up the stairs, zooming past a couple of customers as he left through the door. Jack would have left a shape of himself in the door too if it wasn’t for Spike opening it just before impact.
“I got the bullets. Hopefully Twilight won’t kill Joseph before he gets a chance to figure out how he stopped them. I quite like this body.” Jack said to himself, barely noticing the ponies he passed glance his way. Looking around the marketplace, he scratched his head and tried to locate Pinkie, eventually figuring that she would be working at Sugarcube Corner. “Pinks is a bust so how about RD?” he asked himself, immediately moving out of the marketplace and over to the local park.
Jack knew that Rainbow would most likely be napping on a cloud somewhere and if not, then in a tree in Applejack’s apple orchard. Once he reached the park, Jack finally took notice of the different ponies staring at him. The fillies and colts had a bit of fear on their faces when they saw his permanent grin and glowing eyes, causing most (if not all) of the parents of the foals to give Jack a wide berth.
“That’s no way to treat a gentleman, and unlike Joseph, I actually know what he can do in terms of power.” Jack muttered darkly, giving off a crazy laugh before taking out a beaker he had managed to swipe from Twilight’s lab. After placing his portal gun down on the ground next to him, he flicked the beaker from hand to hand, slowly getting faster and faster to try and build up the potential energy it could give off if flung.
“Never heard of Poison Joke? Hahahaha! It’s a blast, let me tell ya!” Jack laughed to the assembled ponies, slowly moving around the foals and their parents, getting them to unintentionally form a crowd. Once he noticed what he was doing, he just shrugged and kept flicking the beaker back and forth between his hands until it was just a blur, noticing with glee the way their eyes followed the path of the beaker, wondering what he was going to do with it.
“Now, Poison Joke is a curious plant, isn’t it? Why would it be called Poison Joke? The ‘poison’ part of the name doesn’t have anything deadly to it. I can’t even really see the joke part, but then again, Joseph was the one affected by it. So I guess that makes me the joke, doesn’t it?” Jack monologued, catching the beaker in his right hand and chucking it at the ground next to the group. It gave off a mini explosion upon contact, sending trillions of miniature shards of glass out in a wave, which Jack subtly redirected towards the group with a flick of his finger by manipulating its kinetic energy to a small degree.
“I’m not a joke … no. If anything, I’m just plain old crazy.” Jack continued, watching the cloud of glass make miniature cuts into the ponies with sadistic delight. The screams of the foals as they were cut echoed across the park caught the attention of the various ponies milling about. He laughed and picked up the gun after directing the glass cloud to cut the ponies a few more times before dispersing the cloud over the park.
‘Now I just need nitrous oxide and I should be fine for my ‘prank’.’ Jack thought to himself as he walked away from the crying and bleeding group of ponies, his grin as big as ever except this time, it may have been a tiny bit forced.
Twilight trotted towards Sweet Apple Acres, intending to speak to Applejack about potentially baking a few apple treats for a picnic in a week’s time when she was interrupted by a rainbow blur zooming past towards the town.
“Rainbow!” Twilight shouted, recognising the rainbow trail and caught Dash’s tail in her magic, causing to stop mid-dash.
“What? Some foals were crying in the park and I wanted to see what it was about.” Rainbow groaned as she lighted in front of Twilight after her tail got released.
“What do you mean ‘crying’? I didn’t hear any when I walked by it earlier.” Twilight replied, tilting her head in confusion.
Rainbow simply rolled her eyes and grabbed Twilight around her barrel, not waiting for a response. She flew up and over to the park, dropping off Twilight at the edge of the group of crying and bleeding ponies.
“What happened?” Rainbow asked some of the parents while Twilight tried to help the various foals as best she could.
“His most notable features were green hair, glowing green eyes and an orange jumpsuit. He flung a beaker back and forth between his … things,” One of the parents told Rainbow, shaking her hooves in front of her to try and demonstrate what she meant, “he then flung it against the ground while talking about Poison Joke and somehow controlled the smashed glass to cut everypony in this group,” she finished, sporting a small cut just below her horn that appeared to be bleeding slightly.
“The only one I know that wears an orange jumpsuit is Joseph but he wouldn’t do anything like this and as far as I know, he doesn’t have any awesome powers.” Rainbow commented, looking to Twilight to see if she could make any sense of this and began to help out the group as best she could.
“It’s not Joseph. It’s Jack.” Twilight corrected Rainbow, remembering what he looked like and thought over what he had said earlier to her and Spike.
“Who? I don’t think anyone named Jack lives in Ponyville.” Rainbow said confusedly, trying to comfort the foals who didn’t have their parents with them.
“Jack. He’s an alternate personality of Joseph’s that most likely sprung up from the combination of too much stress and Poison Joke.” Twilight answered, looking at the wounded group with new eyes. “Maybe Jack is just Joseph’s more crazier side? But who would be crazy enough to hurt innocent foals?” Twilight questioned, tapping her hoof against her chin in thought.
“Jack, obviously.” Rainbow deadpanned then fell silent for a bit as she thought. “Wait, he’s an alternate personality because of the Poison Joke?” she asked, wings flapping a bit to keep them from cramping up.
“That’s the only explanation for it. I guess its more ‘Poison’ than ‘Joke’ in this case. He’s never shown an alternate personality before today.” Twilight replied, sitting down and thinking it over. “Which way did he go? Do any of you know?” she asked the group.
Rainbow saw one of the fillies point towards the library and wondered why Jo-Jack would go there.
“Thanks. Rainbow, I want you to go to Zecora and see if you can get the cure for Poison Joke from her. I’d want to stop Jack as soon as possible, before he can cause anymore harm.” Twilight directed Rainbow and began to run towards her home. Rainbow just shrugged and dashed off towards the Everfree, believing that Twilight can handle herself.
Twilight opened the door with her magic, not wishing to bang it open like Rainbow usually does. She ran inside and left it open, looking for Spike and Jack. “Spiike? You here?” Twilight called out, going up the stairs at a fast pace. She heard some laughter come from the dragon’s room and went over to see if he was actually okay.
As Twilight moved closer, she heard the laughter dissolve into wheezing and then eventually even that fell silent. Before she could move any further, she heard the stairs creaking as something moved up them. Spinning around, Twilight’s mouth fell open as she saw Jack hold some sort of sealed off container in his hand.
“You want to hear a joke?” Jack rasped suddenly tilting his head to the side as his smile grew impossibly wide, nearly splitting his face in two.