The Bon Identity

by DashEight

Lyra Versus the Exposition

"And how are you ladies this fine morning? Ready to order yet?"

"RrrrrrrggghhaaghCOFFEEEssssssskhhh..."

Order Up opened his mouth to inquire further, but paused as he considered the "words" of the near-comatose mare before him. "I shall return with a refill."

"Thank you, that would be lovely," Bon-Bon replied with a warm smile. The waiter nodded and hastily retreated towards the kitchen area. Lyra, deducing that the conversation had ended and her input was no longer required, slumped back in her chair and remained still.

The Sunflower Café was oddly quiet for a Saturday morning. At 11AM, the lunch rush had yet to begin and most townsponies already grabbed their morning carb-and-caffiene fix several hours earlier. Despite the sunny weather and light breeze, only a few patrons populated the patio. Aside from a small group of national heroes quietly sipping tea at a sunny corner table and one or two miserable-looking ponies recovering from the previous night, the place was deserted. Order Up returned with the coffee pot, remaining silent. Nopony survived as long as he had in the service industry without learning how to read a crowd; there was a time and a place for listing the daily specials and this was not it. He nodded at Bon-Bon and trotted over to the next occupied table, where a sluggish unicorn hid from the offending sun behind electric purple shades.

The smell of fresh coffee finally managed to rouse Lyra. "Never... again," she grimaced. "Sorry I passed out last night, practice didn't finish 'til after midnight. Octavia's working us overtime so much you'd think opening night was tonight. I can hear the score in my dreams."

"She always was a perfectionist, even as a filly," Bon-Bon smirked. "So no wild party with the rest of your musician and actor friends? If I walk over to town hall, it won't be covered in empty red cups and cider kegs? Vinyl looks like she had more than a few last night." She gestured towards Vinyl Scratch at the other table, who was motionlessly staring at the cup of coffee in front of her.

"Uuugh no, this is the first time Octavia has ever directed anything and she's flipping out, and since half the cast have day jobs we can't start practice till mid-afternoon. Lullaby for a Princess is getting incredible reviews in Manehattan and Canterlot, and she's worried that her production here won't live up to the hype," Lyra managed a halfhearted wave to her co-worker a few tables over. The DJ showed no signs of recognition, awareness of her surroundings, or life. "I mean, not that I'm not happy about landing a nice full-time gig, but past midnight! We don't open for three weeks! You're right, she's being crazy picky over every little detail." Inside Lyra's head, a small hamster woke from its nap and hopped on an exercise wheel. "Wait, 'even as a filly?' You two know each other?"

"She introduced us, Ly."

"No, like as a filly? I thought she just knew you from around town. I mean, she grew up in Canterlot and you're from Hoofington," Lyra paused, uncertianty clouding her face as she remembered she didn't know nearly as much about her bestest-friend-forever as she once thought. "Wait, are you from Hoofington?"

Bon-Bon winced. "I am. Everything I've told you really did happen, it just happened to a filly named Sweetie Drops instead of Bon-Bon," she paused to take a breath, "Living a lie isn't fun. I-I wanted to share my life with you, Lyra. My real life. I just had to change a few names and details to protect myself and the ponies I worked with. And leave some stuff out." Her brow furrowed, "leave a LOT of stuff out."

"I wondered why you never talked about college."

"Hah, it was less 'college' and more 'getting dumped in the Crystal Mountains for three weeks with nothing but a blanket and a shovel'. Ooh, or 'interrogation resistance' training with an angry minotaur! Can't forget about that!"

"Wow..." Lyra stared wide-eyed. "That sounds... really painful." A teasing smile spread across her cheeks. "Almost as bad as finals at CSGU!"

"Seriously?"

"Hey, go take private tutoring from the Princess of Anxiety Attacks over there and then tell me how easy I had it," Lyra pointed at the corner table currently occupied by Ponyville's most famous residents, then crossed her forelegs in a huff. "Sooo... if you really did grow up in Hoofington then, how did you meet Octavia?"

"Well, If you think you can stay awake for more than five minutes I'll tell you," Bon-Bon chuckled as Lyra rolled her eyes. "Remember that big yeti scare up north about twelve years ago? It was all over the news, you were probably close to finishing grade school? That all started in my hometown..."

On any given day of the week, Hoofington resembled any one of a hundred other picturesque hamlets across the nation. Small stone-and-thatch cottages hugged the edges of the surrounding mountains. Craftsponies carted wares into downtown and set up stalls along Market St. Tourists loaded down with travel gear would stream in from the train station to the ski lodge. Any other day, it was a quiet, peaceful beacon of Harmony nestled in the foot of the Crystal Range.

Today, it more closely resembled a battle zone. Or the Manehattan shopping district on Hearth's Warming Eve.

Angry columns of black smoke billowed from severeal stores along the mountain steppe. A technicolor torrent of townsponies rushed south in a mostly-orderly fashion, guided by teams of Royal Guard. A squadron of golden-armored pegasi circled the town, some towing rainclouds toward several fires while others set up aerial billboards along the evacuation route:

'YETI ATTACK IN PROGRESS, REMAIN CALM'. 'FOLLOW EUP INSTRUCTIONS TO DESIGNATED SHELTER IMMEDIATELY'.

Such were the risks of Equestrian border-town life. At least nopony had to deal with city traffic.

Commander Stalwart Sentry adjusted his helmet as he stepped outside the post-office-turned-command-center. Stupid thing was causing his mane to itch like crazy, but he wasnt about to remove it in the middle of a monster attack. His guards took their cues from their leader, after all, and an innocent personal indulgence could trickle down the ranks in no time. He set his jaw as the itching continued and watched a pitch-black chariot currently swooping past the setting sun. It skimmed low over rooftops before pulling up as two pegasi pilots prepared for landing. He looked them over as they ambled to a stop in front of him. Both wore nondescript blue jumpsuits and flight helmets, and he couldn't see any markings on either the chariot or its pullers. Really, a black chariot?, he thought. They could paint "Spook-Mobile" on the side in glow-in-the-dark neon and they would still be less obvious.

The chariot's door swung open and two stallions trotted out, doing their best to look inconspicuous in their their black business suits, sunglasses, and earpieces. An older slate-gray earthpony followed, his shaggy mane that looked out of place among the soldiers and totally-not-secret-agents. He hoofed a set of saddlebags from inside the chariot, strapping them into place over his white lab coat. Stalwart nodded at him as he offered the military pony a tired, halfhearted smile.

"Good to see you again, Commander Sentry. I'm sorry it had to be under these conditions."

"Likewise, Doctor. My soldiers have the majority of the town secured. We believe the, uh, creature is currently holed up in a shop over in the town square. I've ordered the area cordoned off. It's mind-controlled several townsponies to do its bidding, and they've been attacking my guards whenever we get too close." He paused, his expression softening, "Our mage teams are trying to dispel whatever spell they're under, but nothing's working. If I order an advance now, ponies are going to die."

The doctor frowned and scratched his chin with a hoof. "It's building a hive," he muttered to himself. Stalwart raised an eybrow, but the doctor continued to speak, "It's not a spell, Commander. This creature is a chimera, a mix of ursine and insectoid traits all blended together into a monster. It has the ability to create pheremones that can influence others to its will, like a bee or wasp hive queen. Crude compared to magical mind-control, but as it uses no magic it is not so easily dispelled. Not to worry," he continued as he noticed the commander's worried expression, "I have a team of specialists enroute, they should be able to subdue these poor ponies and inoculate them without any great risk of injury. Shall we?"

"Follow me," Stalwart replied as he started trotting, relief flooding through him. He had seen a lot in his Guard career, but he never dreamed the day would come where he would be forced to turn swords and guns on Equestrian citizens. "Oh, my radio is back in the post office if you need to coordinate with your team."

"Thank you," the doctor replied before adressing the two black-suited goonsponies. "Double Cross, could you contact the containment team and tell them they're cleared to proceed? Cover Story and I will head up to the action with the commander."

Double Cross nodded and turned back to the office, while the other three ponies trotted towards the commotion at the center of town.

"So, why all the yeti nonsense? Nopony in town is buying it for a second. It's pretty clear that something mean got loose from your little funhouse in the Canterlot Caverns."

Cover Story spoke up for the first time, startling Stalwart. "It's more for the rest of Equestria. We didn't want the press starting a panic if they knew what's really going on, so we spread the word about the local wildlife acting up." The G-pony lowered his sunglasses down his muzzle, staring at Stalwart from over the rims. "This thing isn't from any of our facilities, sir. It broke out from further down."

Ice ran through Stalwart's veins. "Tartarus?"

"You understand why we want to keep this quiet."

He paused, then nodded. "Well then, let's go stop a demon."

In the center of town, a ring of bronze and steel surrounded what appeared to be an ice cream shop covered in yellow slime. The Royal Guards stood still, glaring down dozens of crazed townsponies protecting the building. A group of stallions wearing sloppy yellow-and-black war paint rushed foward to attack. The guardsponies tensed but did not draw their weapons, bracing for a hoof-to-hoof brawl as the madponies barrelled in.

Their opponents suddenly faltered, glowing eyes turning skyward. A flock of black chariots swooped overhead, descending to a hover just above the rooftops. Ropes dropped from their sides, and ponies in dull armor and gas masks slid to the ground. They fanned out, raising tranquilizer dart shooters and shock-spears as a squad of similarly-garbed pegasi landed to join them. The unruly crowd roared in anger, an odd buzzing noise permeating the air around them as they prepared to charge down their new opponents. The new arrivals formed a staggered line with weapons raised, and the Guards hit the deck as they realized any missed shots would hit them instead.

The fwipfwipfwip of darts whistling through the air was oddly muted compared to clashing steel or a cannon's boom. The rioters were acting in a haze of anger and mind-controlling spores, none of them had enough rational thought to carry a weapon. A few managed to get close to their foes, but a small blast of lightning would knock them to the ground before they could attack. A minute later, everything went still. A few guardsponies picked tranquilizer darts out of their helmets with annoyed expressions on their faces as the new arrivals split into teams and began unfolding stretchers near the unconcious townsponies.

As the unfortunate enthralled citizens were carted off to safety, Guards and newcomers alike took formation outside the door of the ice-cream shop. Dartguns were holstered; the foe waiting inside would not go down so easily.

Sweetie Drops shivered and shrunk further into her hiding spot as she heard a thundering crash. Dust drifted from the floorboards above her as a thundering buzz-roar shook the building, followed by muffled thumps. She renewed her resolve not to leave the basement crawl-space that had been her home for the last eighteen hours. She had come home from school the previous afternoon to find the door to her parents' shop smashed and a massive bee monster gorging itself on several fifty-pound bags of sugar. As if that wasn't strange enough, her parents and their friends were helping the thing, bringing it more sweets. She hadn't stuck around to find out why, screaming and running. It chased her for a bit but lost her in the basement, distracted by more stored sugar. Sometimes ponies came down here but after seeing the creepy glowing eyes and coat-paint on the first one she decided not to take a chance revealing herself.

Her breath caught in her throat as the cellar door crashed open. A six-limbed, white-and-black monstrosity tumbled down the stairs and crashed to the floor. It picked itself up, red eyes glinting as it let loose a terrifying roar and started back up towards its attackers.

A blast of lightning danced over its thorax, followed by a flurry of crossbow bolts. It stood still for a moment, then toppled backwards and slumped to the floor. Gossamer wings fluttered, then went still. Several cyberponies tromped down the stairs, their robo-unicorn leader looking over the fallen monster with its hornlight.

"Bugbear's out cold, secure it and prep it for transport," a cold, mechanically filtered voice rang out. Its light swept around the cellar, stopping on Sweetie's aclove. "Hey, there's a civilian down here!"

Sweetie whimpered, trying to curl up into an even tighter ball as the armored ghoul stomped up to her. "Its okay, little filly! That monster won't hurt you now! You can come out!"

"Oh, for Celestia's sake, you are terrifying her! Take your stupid mask off!" a guardsmare yelled from the stairwell.

"Right, sorry." The robot hoofed off its helmet and mask, revealing an ordinary unicorn stallion underneath. "Are you okay, filly? What's your name?"

Sweetie Drops didn't hear whatever he said next. The exhaustion, adrenaline, and sheer terror of the last eighteen hours finally caught up with her. She fainted on the spot.

"Subtle as always, Doctor. Everything I expected from a covert organization such as yours. What's with all the black paint anyway?"

"Come now, Commander, we can be discreet when we need to. I do admit that our monster-containment teams go a bit... overboard when it comes to that. It's sort of a tradition, protecting ponies from what lurks in the dark and all that. Dates back to just after the Nightmare Moon fiasco, if I'm not mistaken."

"Wait, you mean the Mare in the Moon? That old filly's tale?"

"Sure, let's go with that. And please, it's Treble Clef. Or just Treble. Why stand on ceremony at this point?"

"Um, sure. So, how are the ponies it was controlling? And that filly they found in the basement?"

"They're all well. We're keeping them in our medical wing, monitoring them for any relapse or complications. Provided we don't find anything, they'll be free to go in a week. The filly is perfectly fine, minus the scare of a lifetime. A head cold kept the bugbear's pheromones from affecting her, if you'll believe it. Couldn't smell them."

"Still must be scared out of her wits, poor girl. This base is more of a dungeon than a children's ward."

"Yes, I've made sure the nurses and attendants know to keep her company. Erm, speaking of which, has anypony seen my daughter?"

Sweetie Drops stirred, blinking groggily as everything came back to her. The other day seemed like a nightmare, the memories faded just enough to where she could tell herself the monster wasn't real. As the room came into focus, she was reminded that it very much was real. This wasn't her home. This was a hospital room with super-bright lights and no windows and a clown mural on the wall which, while she supposed was intended to brighten up the place a bit, honestly just came off as creepy. She snuggled back into her pillow, but then frowned as she noticed a pressure on her barrel. She looked up, and suddenly saw nothing but two enourmous violet eyes staring back at her.

"Hi!"

"EEEEEEEEEP!"

The eyes giggled. As she desperately scooted back to into her headboard, she noticed they were attached to a filly. A small, gray filly with a bow-tie staring at her and laughing. Probably a year or two younger than she was, judging by the lack of cutie mark. She relaxed a bit, her heart slowing from 'three cases of Iron Bull' to 'just ran a marathon'. "H-h-hi?"

"I'm Octie! What's your name?"