Chapter 18: Tales of Rainbows and Butt Tattoos.
-Xavier's POV-
-Recap-
There are many things that can make you forget something important. Creating peace between a tribe and a town, stopping a trigger-happy idiot from shooting the chief's daughter, and having said idiot look at you with murderous eyes. Said important thing being Rainbow Dash's birthday, which was that Thursday we were in Appleloosa. It hit me as soon as I got home that I needed to do something for Rainbow. She probably thought I didn't remember, which I did, just... late. I needed to throw her a little party, and I knew just the mare to talk to. Unfortunately, she was still a little cranky about everything I've done recently, such as loopholes in her Pinkie Promise rules and telling her to shut up in the middle of her singing. Yeah, she called me a "big meanie pants." I replied with "Are my pants really that mean?" Farted, then replied "PANTS! THAT'S MEAN!!! You're really right Pinkie! My pants really are mean!" She giggled. Note to self. If you want to get back on Pinkie's good side, make her laugh. She tried to make a deal with me.
"If I give Rainbow a 'Happy Late Birthday' Pinkie-Party, you'll let me sing whenever I want to without any interruptions! And you have to sing along!"
Nope... Nuh-uh... "How about I just let you sing whatever song you'd like... No interruptions from me, regardless of if it's a good time for it or not. I'll even pinky promise."
Luckily she agreed to it without thinking twice about our deal. No interruptions from me, but that just means I'll have to keep Jack around. Another loophole exposed!!! She found out about that loophole shortly after during the party.
The party was a mix between fun, relaxing, and hilarious. Everyone was invited, even the trigger happy gunman. She figured it would loosen him up a bit. I thanked her for it. It was the first time he looked relaxed since I confiscated his weaponry. I told Bro and Jack what happened. Everyone agreed that Jeff was too dangerous and aggressive to have that kind of weaponry. Until now, he glared at me as if he was trying to kill me with his glare. I didn't really care. I figured he wouldn't try shit or else he'd be out of the house, and possibly the town. Bro hid all of his weapons somewhere in the attic until we could find a more secure place to put them. Anyway, back to the party. Jeff was less tense, Lyra was invited and was hanging with Bro and Scratch. Applejack brought a box of bottled cider for Dashie. She had already downed two of them. Dash was such a lightweight however. She was flirting with me hard! She's lucky I love her. Couldn't help but notice that she was about to tell me something that Twilight and Lyra didn't want me to hear as both mares covered her mouth. Something about a surprise for me.
"Dash you drunk mare! You're gonna ruin everything!" Lyra hissed.
"Ruin what?" I asked.
"N-NOTHING! Nothing! Dash is just drunk, so she was uh.. g-going to ruin the party?" Twilight said, smiling sheepishly.
Yeah, you three are hiding something... I was going to have to press them on that later. Pinkie started singing her birthday song for Rainbow, but was interrupted by Jack, who was standing right beside me screaming "boo!" and "get off the stage!" I bit my lips, trying not to laugh. Inner trolls should be kept fed. Pinkie stared at the two of us, still cheesing like she usually does while I shrugged and zipped my lips. I didn't interrupt you. Doesn't mean Jack couldn't. She was looking more at me, however. It was honestly starting to creep me out. Dash randomly hugging the side of my head snapped me out of it. What am I worried about? It's just a loophole. Heheh.
Dash and I hung out together for the remainder of the party. She was so hoping she could get me drunk, but unlucky for her, I don't drink. I do not partake in alcoholic beverages. I just don't like the taste of alcohol. Don't judge me! Twilight sided with me on that matter since she's against getting drunk also. "It's a bad habit," she said. We're on two different pages, Twilight. With that said, when the party was over, I walked her back to my house since she can't fly very well while intoxicated. Her house was out of the question. I got Derpy and Flutters to take Dash's cider to her house before we left. The night was interesting in my room. This was the first time Dash wanted me to "rut her silly," but she was going to be disappointed. One, I was tired. I did have a load of work to do that day. Second, she was drunk. For all I knew, we weren't at that part yet, and I don't take advantage of drunk chicks. It sure didn't stop her from trying to undo my belt. Not having any fingers made it difficult, but she gave up when I rolled on top of her.
A few days later, I went to Sugarcube Corner for lunch to find two pegasi royal guards blocking the entrance. I also saw that my pegasus fillyfriend was harrassing them. I guess she was playing that game people play with the Queen's Guard, and failing. They moved when I walked towards them though. They looked uneased by my presence, wings flared. At first I thought they were playing around. I saw them at the Young Flyer's competition weeks ago, but later found out from Twi that they were different ponies that looked the same. She told me that the armor is enchanted to make the coats white and mane and tail the same blue so no one could tell them apart or recognize them. Like hiding their identity to maybe protect their loved ones? When I stepped forward, they reared up and came after me. I was able to use my agility to dodge and get past them. Fluttershy saw the entire thing, and Twilight was not happy.
As Twilight told them off, I asked the Princess why they tried to attack me, and yeah, I already said what happened. Explanations, blah blah. After that, I was just hanging with Lyra, talking about what my world is like. She's been to my house before, saw my stuff and things, but I've never got a chance to tell her what Earth was like. Besides, I hadn't been spending a lot of time with her recently besides Rainbow's birthday party. Don't wanna leave out any friends, ya know. Oh. I also found out that Celestia has an inner troll in her too. I saw that prank she pulled on Mr. and Mrs. Cake and gave her a thumbs up. She looked at me puzzled until Twilight whispered in her ear. Celestia just cheesed at me. Right. Pony = no fingers, and Twilight has a dragon with hands. I noticed she had a pet bird who looked like it lost its feathers from afar. Poor bird must've been in its last years.
She had to leave shortly after, Celestia had princess business with the mayor. Before she left though, she asked about my brother who she oh so wanted to meet since he was the most mature and in charge of the rest of our little group. To be honest, none of the ponies aside from Dash, Twi, and AJ have seen much of him. He was either at home or at Vinyl's. Anyway, I gave the princess a small scratch behind her ear before she left. She gave me a quick nuzzle before leaving. Everyone bowed down save for me of course and then turned to look at me, either with great interest or with great offense that some creature had touched their princess. I didn't really care though, but I couldn't help but think that I missed a perfect time to troll everybody right then and there. I went to get some of the delicious baked goods that were almost half gone when I noticed it was still quiet. The only pony that wasn't staring at me still was Lyra, who was following behind me trying to put her head under my hand. Now it was starting to bother me. I quickly made my way to the exit with Twilight, Lyra, and Dash following me. I asked if there was going to be a problem, but Twilight said there wouldn't be anything besides gossip and possibly a few disdained looks from ponies in Canterlot. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
That left me questioning, however. Why was I so chill with the princess? I doubt that I like her the same way I like Twilight and Rainbow. At the very least not then. Besides, even if I did, it definitely wouldn't work if what Twilight has told me were true. I don't know the average pony life span, but if Celestia's been around for thousands of years, I'll only be around her for a small portion of her life. She's been all but nice to me after that moment when we first met. But she is rather majestic.. and pretty... eh, I'll just call it a crush. It should probably stay just that, though, for her sake.
Anyway, the four of us were just hanging out infront of the house, Lyra constantly asking questions about humans and our inventions and gadgets. I've lost count of how many times she said the word 'hands'. It's not like she hadn't seen hands before. Twi's number one assistant has hands after all. Soon after, Twi went to pay each of her visit to thank them for being on their best behavior or something along those lines, with the exception of Dash who was right there, and I still had work to do. Lyra even volunteered to help. We left Dash to take a nap on a cloud somewhere. We had to fix a broken table. Heh, broken being the understatement of the day. It was practically shattered, and I had already agreed to do it. Now this would've taken me a good several hours to do by myself, but thanks to Lyra, it was all done in three.
When we were paid, done, and out, Lyra and I went on a walk with her on my back. She wanted to feel what it'd be like to be tall as a human. We stopped by the town square when we heard arguing coming from none other than Fluttershy and Twilight infront of an unpleased princess. As it turns out, Fluttershy kidnapped the princess's sick bird to try and help it, but that didn't turn out very well. And then the ashes turned into a phoenix. A fucking phoenix. No, not the lawyer, the mythical fire bird. Said fire bird had an inner troll too and had been playing a prank on Fluttershy all day. Serves her right for birdnapping the princess's pet.
-Recap over-
-Jack's POV-
Monday 3/28
It was that time again. Time to head off to see my lady and help her with whatever she needs done. I think today she was on her way to set up her apple stand for selling. Whenever she needs that, all I ever do is help with the stands and take over when she needs a break. It's not much, but I wouldn't bother telling that to everyone else. When I got to Sweet Apple Acres, she was already done loading the apples and was carrying the wagon.
"Howdy sugar!"
"Hey babe. Need some help with that?"
"Ya know darn well what Ah think about that there 'h'-word."
"Right. You can do it yourself. So why am I here then?"
"What if Ah just like havin ya around before anypony else can get to ya first?" She said, winking at me. I chuckled, scratching behind her ears. We started heading to town through white-tail woods. Simple trip, right? Nope. Three bunnies came out of a bush and took one apple each. AJ went after them yelling "YOU THIEVING VARMINTS!!" before leaving me alone with her load. I went on ahead and followed her, pulling the carriage through the bushes, going after her. Soon, I could hear her talking to someone. As I got closer, I could see that she was telling a story to the Cutie Mark Crusaders (Gang). She was talking about when she went to Manehatten as a filly because she thought she was a city person. When she couldn't fit in, that's when she realized she was actually a country girl. All because of a rainbow that led to Ponyville. That's when she got her cutie mark. I smirked. I had to troll.
"So you have leprechauns here? You missed your chance to find his pot of gold in Manhattan."
"Manehattan." AJ corrected.
The Crusaders looked at me."JACK!"
"Sup girls?"
Applebloom came up to me. "Nothing really. Mah big sis was tellin' me how she got her cutie mark!"
"Yeah!"
"Well I wanted to talk to Rainbow Dash! Applejack's was all sappy!"
"Too each his or her own, Scootaloo." I replied
Applejack saw the bunnies making faces at her before dashing off. "Why those no good-"
"Applejack, let it go now! Those are only three out of the many apples I dare not count in this wagon!" I said, looking at the wagon she would've left behind. She snorted and took the wagon again. "And I'd suggest putting a tarp over the wagon so it'd be harder to grab the apples."
I swear, I picked the mare that doesn't think things through. Sweetie and Apple Bloom jumped on their wagon that was attached to the back of Scootaloo's scooter and took off to find someone else to bother about cutie marks. That's one way to get around.
It was a couple of hours when AJ had closed up shop and got her things onto her wagon. I escorted her back to her barn so I could help put things away. She seemed done for the day, so I headed back to town for the next task I had to do. Only I was being followed. I looked over my shoulder to see my fillyfriend tagging along.
"Something else I can do for you?"
"Ah was just thinkin the other day, Ah saw Lyra helpin Xavier with his job and it helped speed things up for 'em. And Ah was thinkin'-"
"That you could follow me around and help me with my tasks at hand?"
"Eeyup."
"Come along."
"Oh.. And can Ah... uh.."
I sighed, turning around to face her completely. "What is it, Fluttershy? Spit it out."
She stared at me, raising an eyebrow. "What'dya call me?"
"Fluttershy. You're actin like her right now minus the lack of volume."
"Oh.. well uh.. Ah was wonderin' if Ah could.." She was shuffling her hooves. "Ah saw Xavier carry Lyra on his back so Ah was thinkin-"
"That you want to see things from human height? Or do you just wanna be carried like a bridal mare?" I asked. I really do love teasing.
Her head turned beat red, her nodding her head.
"Well, all ya had to do was ask, ya know. I didn't think you were the shy type. You were always more of a straight forward chick."
"Yeah Ah know.."
I turned around and squatted so she could hop on. She tucked her tail between her legs before climbing on and holding on tight. When we were in town, I was surprised we weren't getting any looks. Probably because they've already seen Xavier carry Twilight or the crusaders on his back. Speaking of Twilight, why weren't ponies staring at us? Because Twilight Sparkle was jumping around like she won the lottery. She bumped right into us in her excitement.
"Say, Twilight, if you've won the lottery, think it'd be best if you hide the excitement until you cash in your ticket."
"Oh I am so so sor- wait.. what's a lottery?" She asked. I just chuckled.
"So what's going on?"
"Oh, I was just telling the three little fillies how I got my cutiemark. I guess I got er... caught up in the memories.." Twilight blushed, embarrassed.
"Well where are they?"
"They're looking for Rainbow Dash. I forgot to tell them that she's in Sugarcube Corner though. Oops."
"No problem. We'll just head there and let her know."
Twilight and I were walking to Sugarcube Corner while I was carrying Applejack. AJ looked like she was enjoying herself up here. Twilight went on and told us why she was jumping around and about how she got hers aka how she became Princess Celestia's personal student, aka how Spike was born. Wait... Doesn't that mean Spike is older than he looks? When we got there, surprise surprise, everyone but Pinkie was there, including Xavier and our siblings.
"Sup Jack?"
"Sup?"
Jack and I did our little handshake thing.
"So what brings you three here?" He asked.
"We were actually looking for Rainbow Dash. The Three Girl Stooges wanted her to tell them about how she got her cutie marks."
"Well, darling, we've already told the girls about how we all got our cutie marks." Rarity responded.
Okay now I was curious."Really? Mind filling me in?"
"Yeah, me too. It never did cross my mind." Xavier added.
To summarize everything said, Fluttershy fell off of a cloud at a young age after she started a race between Rainbow and two of the bullies that nearly killed me a little while ago and made contact with wild life for the first time. Rarity was magically dragged to a gigantic rock that was filled with diamonds that she could use to make outfits for a play, and Pinkie told us about her party at her rock farm when she arrived. How in hell's name do you farm rocks? Twi and AJ repeated their stories for Xavier who noticed something in their stories. He got my attention and pointed to a corner. He started whispering when I followed him.
"Notice anything in peculiar about their stories?"
"What? Something strange about it?" Where was he getting at?
"Yeah. All of their stories have rainbows in it. A rainbow happens right before they make some accomplishment and gain their marks..."
"Hey! That's right..." They did have that similar feature in their stories.
"Remember Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom?"
"I wasn't there, remember?" I was doing your work while you were venturing off with the girls.
"Oh right... nevermind then."
"Is everything alright, darlings?" Rarity asked from behind the counter.
"Yeah, things are fine, Rarity. Xavier just noticed something."
Before they could ask, the crusaders came through the door, asking for Rainbow's cutie mark story. Let's summarize it again. Rainbow, during a race for Fluttershy's defense, got hers by performing the sonic rainboom. Looks like Xavier ca-
"CALLED IT!" Xavier shouted.
Fluttershy thought fora while before she got the same idea Xavier did. "Wait a second. I heard that explosion. And I saw the rainbow too. Rainbow Dash, if you hadn't scared the animals, I never would have learned I could communicate with them and gotten my cutie mark."
"I heard that boom! And right afterwards, there was this amazing rainbow that taught me to smile."
"When I got my cutie mark, I saw a rainbow that pointed me home. I bet it was your sonic rainboom!"
"There was this explosion I could never explain when I got my cutie mark." Said Rarity
"This is uncanny! If that explosion didn't happen when it did, I would have blown my entrance exam." Twilight looked at Rainbow. "Rainbow Dash, I think you helped me earn my cutie mark too!"
Pinkie pounced on Dash. "We all owe our cutie marks to you!"
"Do you realize what this means? All of us had a special connection before we even met."
"We've been BFFs forever and we didn't even know it!" Rarity exclaimed
The ponies did a group hug. When they did, Xavier grinned "That's right! I remember that day! I saw Rainbow's sonic rainboom too! That's how I got my cutie mark!"
Pinkie jumped up excited. "REALLY?!?"
"Nope." Everyone gave Xavier a deadpan look as he grinned. "Humans still can't get cutie marks, remember?"
The ponies laughed. You really love trolling, don't you?
"I guess my lil fillyfriend is more awesome than I thought she was." Xavier said, plucking Rainbow out of the crowd. I looked at Twilight who looked like she was about to start pouting. "No worries, Twi. I already know you're amazing." He said, pulling her out of the pile instead. That was before the ponies started cuddling against him too, Xavier not minding Rarity for a moment. Are ponies always this affectionate with each other?
"So cute!" AB said.
"So sweet!" said Sweetie Belle
"So mushy! Gross!" Scootaloo gagged.
"Yeah, there are children here." I told him. Looks like I like ruining moments too. Heheh... "You can cuddle with your harem and my filly friend another time." This time it was my turn to be looked at.
"What's a harem?" Twilight asked, pulling away from the group. AJ did the same, walking back to my side.
I gave out a sly smirk. "Oooh nothing." Heheheh.
"What is it, sugar?" AJ asked in an annoyed way.
"Do ya really wanna know?" I was really trying not to laugh at this moment. Xavier was giving me nods and a grin.
"A harem is a group of girls attracted to a single guy. Either romantically or se-"
"SUGAR! Kids! In the same room!" AJ yelled, blushing beet red. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie did the same. They were all red, the later giggling. The crusaders looked puzzled. I just couldn't resist.
"Just one question though." I asked, opening my arms. "Where are my hugs?"
"We're out!" Scootaloo shouted, pulling her friends out the door, me laughing at them. I'm such a troll!
The others didn't catch on and I was soon attacked by the mares' hug attacks, which was alright until..
"DOG PILE ON JACK!!!" was all I needed to hear before I braced myself. Even scoots and her friend came back to do just that.
-Xavier's POV-
After everyone and pony got off of my best friend, he dusted himself off, glaring daggers at me. He always loved dog piling, but he never liked being dog piled on. Now that everyone was here and I was done with my work for the day, maybe I could treat everyone to shakes and just chill until we leave.
Flutters jumped up."Hey! How about a song?"
"Definitely!" Pinkie agreed, along with everyone else. There was only one song in my head that started before I trucked through everypony like an NFL player to get out of there. Move bitch, get out the way!
"TAKE ME WITH YOU!" yelled Scooter before she latched onto my shin.
The rest of the day was spent with Scooter and the little siblings at home. Scootaloo told them about everything that happened that day and everyone's story on how they got their cutie marks. Everyone seemed to be interested. Was Hiroto taking notes?
"OOH! I wonder what my cutie mark would be if I was a pony!" Jonathan asked.
"A crossed out chill pill?" I guessed. Jonathan puffed his cheeks at me.
"A sword and shield! He is brave! Not as brave as Rainbow Dash, but still pretty brave." Scoots said, referring to the cockatrice.
"Only because he has no sense of danger... yet.." I said before letting out a yawn. "Welp, I think I'm gonna head upstairs and nap a bit. One of the others should be back shortly.
It was a pretty long nap. I didn't wake up until around 7:30 for dinner. I noticed Scootaloo was still here, talking with her human comrades.
"Hey Scoots, shouldn't you be at your house?" I asked.
She lowered her head, sad. "Yeah.. but my caretaker has the flu and couldn't make it today. I was hoping to stay over Sweetie Belle's or Apple Bloom's, but nobody came."
...But nobody came.
Hm... Why would they just leave her here? "Hey. I'm sure they saw you leave with me. I guess they trust us to take care of ya, although I wish they asked first."
Jack came from the kitchen. "Well, you did run over everyone and out the door to escape the singing."
"Touche'. Well, Scooter, I suppose you can stay a night here and share a room with Bri."
"But Bri's bedtime is your bedtime, little girl! Ya got school tomorrow!" I heard Bro say from the other room. Killjoy.
"Okay!"
I pet Scootaloo on the head before getting myself some grub. We were having fish again. I miss meat... I wasn't really all that hungry however. I just got the fish. I'll save those onion rings for lunch another day. After bagging my onion rings, I left to sleep for the rest of the night.