Hearths Warming Eve
Twilight's Castle
Grandpa slept peacefully around the tree for Hearth's Warming Eve, a fire burning close by keeping the nightmares at bay. He looked almost like an angel.... ALMOST....
He had passed out earlier that night after partaking in too much of the "holiday spirit." He snorted and rolled over onto his back, a serene smile played across his lips as he snoozed. It seemed as if nothing could disturb his rest.... until a trio of trouble making fillies tip-hoofed into the room.
Later that evening...
Grandpa snorted once again and awoke with a start.
"Fuck!" He exclaimed. He tried to move, but found that he couldn't. Looking down his body, Grandpa noticed that he was wrapped up in wrapping paper; a little bow sat atop his head to add insult to injury. He started struggling to break free of his festive prison.
"I've been holly-jollied!" He shouted to no one in particular. "When I get out of this, someone's gonna swallow their teeth!"
The three fillies heard this threat from down the hall. The trio looked to one another in a nervous panic, an audible "gulp" could be heard from them. They ran off to look for cover from Grandpa's wrath, hearing one final exclamation from the raging old man.
"Who the hell stole my pamper?!"
A mischievous orange pegasus filly chuckled slightly as the trio ran. It was always hilarious to see Grandpa angry.
Sugar Cube Corner
"PPPFFTT!! The hell am I drinkin'?! It tastes like the water from Satan's piss-pot!" Grandpa shouted, getting looks from the few patrons that had no where to be on Hearths Warming Eve.
Pinkie was resting her head on her hoof, which was resting on the table below it. There was something off about Pinkie's aura. She looked.... bored.
She looked to the stray hair in her face and blew it away before responding.
"It's a soda, Grandpa," Pinkie replied monotonically, "Haven't you ever had one before?"
Grandpa took another quick sip of the drink, made a sour face of disapproval, and spat it back out. "I've had soda before , but I've never had any that made me want to lick a dog's azhole just to get the taste out of my mouth!"
Pinkie exhausted a little sigh and began making circular motions on the table with her free hoof, wondering when her shift to watch Grandpa would be over. Fluttershy, who sat another table across from the duo, saw the disarray and sorrow on Pinkie's face. Being the Element of Kindness, she decided to absolve Pinkie of her agony.
She timidly trotted up to the pony-human pair and cleared her throat, gaining their attention. "Um, Pinkie? I would be glad to, um, you know... t-take Grandpa off your hooves for a while... if you don't mind," She managed to squeak out, hiding behind her mane.
The spark in Pinkie's eye soon returned, along with a wide ear to ear grin to insinuate her happiness. She scooped Fluttershy up in a bone-crushing hug and bounced the two of them around with joy.
"Yes! YES! Please!! Take him!! I'm not sure if I can-!" Pinkie halted in the middle of her words as soon as she realized what she was saying. Here she was, the Element of Laughter, who had fought Timberwolves and Dragons and even a FREAKIN' Demon lord from TARTARUS and was still somehow able to maintain her happy-go-lucky attitude, was being brought down by this old man from another world who just had a bit of a bad habit of swearing and other.... things...
Pinkie looked to the other shop-goers, who stared at her with blank expressions, and put on a sheepish smile. She gently set Fluttershy down and chuckled nervously.
"I, uh, mean, th-that's very KIND of you Fluttershy!! It sure would be helpful! I think I am behind on my daily cupcake quota anyways, so this will be a HUGE help!" Pinkie lowered her head and let out a small "thank you" before trotting behind the counter and into the kitchen. Fluttershy watched the two shutter doors close behind the pink pony before slowly turning her head back to look at Grandpa, who was staring at her with great intent. She gulped.
"Fffffffffudge..." She whispered.
Fluttershy's Cottage
"What the hell is this thing!? An abomination of God??" Grandpa shouted, holding up a long and very thin rodent. The little animal seemed frightened, apparent by it's constant shivering.
"That's a ferret, Grandpa," Fluttershy replied, worry mixed in with her voice, "and they are very timid creatures. They can get frightened pretty easily, so if you wouldn't mind, c-could you speak a *tiny* bit softer?"
Fluttershy seemed ready to break down and take the ferret back from Grandpa. She thought her wish had been granted when he didn't respond for a few seconds as he examined the furry friend. The cream colored mare made to breathe a sigh of relief.... until Grandpa's next words threw her hopes out the window.
"I think this thing might be constipated, it keeps shaking," he said, bordering on a yell. The ferret shivered violently one last time, covered its eyes with its paws, and went still. Grandpa felt something drop into his lap and looked down to investigate. He saw a couple of spherical, brown balls resting on his pants and a little on his yellow shirt. Fluttershy blushed profusely. "Hey, chocolate! I usually don't eat candy, but since it's the Christmas times I guess I could splurge a little." Grandpa set the ferret on the floor, which ran off immediately, and began reaching down for the supposed chocolate balls to sample one.
Fluttershy sighed sadly. "Happy Hearths Warming Eve everypony," she said to herself as Grandpa coughed and gagged in the background and claimed to have been poisoned.