You have no idea what ponies are like these days, Miss Rarity! Rudeness, rebellion, [redacted]….. It's simply AWFUL!
Rarity nods sympathetically. “I quite agree, dear,” she responds. “Why, proper gentlecolts and gentlemares are becoming rare.”
Exactly! If only I could meet a nice, polite pony who'd go along with my story.
Rarity sips her tea, nodding thoughtfully. “We have indeed reached the point where it is no longer a story, have we not?” she observes. “It's more of a…..conversation.”
Was it ever a story to begin with? I'm not one hundred percent clear about how these things work anymore. I'm starting to believe none of this was a story at all.
Rarity frowns. “But if it's not a story, what shall we call it?” she asks.
An...experience? Oh yes, I quite like that! An EXPERIENCE. We are having an EXPERIENCE.
Rarity smiles and nods. “How exquisite,” she agrees.
You know, Rarity, I don't give you enough credit. Your conversational skills are unmatched! I feel a lot better now. Perhaps...I can even continue with my...EXPERIENCE.
Rarity looks extremely pleased. She places her cup on the table and stands up. “Splendid!” she utters happily.
But how shall I continue? Technically, I've just begun.
Rarity thinks for a moment. A satisfied look appears on her features. “Why, you just need to start all over again!” she announces. “Go all the way back to where you began!”
Brilliant! I'll start over again! Ahem…
It was a normal day for Twilight Sparkle. She… Wait! If I start from the beginning, won't I just be repeating myself for eternity?
Rarity rubs her chin thoughtfully. “I suppose that is one way it could go,” she agrees.
But if I can't start from the beginning...why don't I start from the end?
Rarity raises her eyebrow. “The….end?” she echoes, confused.
Yes! I'll continue the story from the point where it ends! That way, it'll be a whole new beginning!
Rarity blinks. “But where does this story end?” she asks.
Well….spoiler alert…. It ends when all the characters die. What ponies don't understand is that every story only concludes when there is literally nothing more to talk about, ergo all the characters perish. Do you think Harry Trotter's story ended at Punwarts or after he had his foals? No, that story ended several years later, when our dear friend Harry became the headpony of his own school of the magical arts, became addicted to sugar, and spent the rest of his life in a rehab center. Those are the parts of the story the public never gets to see! The true ending, the ultimate finality we, the readers, are denied! This, Rarity, is the true power of being a narrator!
Rarity appears unimpressed. “Isn't that boring?” she points out. “If you're the narrator, whose narrating your story?”
I…. You...you have a good point, Miss Rarity. Who IS narrating my story? I can hardly be narrating my own, can I? Hmm… I've never really thought about that. All I know about my story is that, at least according to some of our religions, in the beginning there was Pencil and Paper, the Gods of Creation. With the help of the divine goddess Fausticorn, they came together and brought a world of magic and ponies into being. If you believe that version of things, anyway. Another story claims it was actually the goddess Beer and her loyal servant Canicorn.
Rarity smiles. “Why don't you ask?” she suggests.
A-ask….? Ask whose been narrating my story? Do...do you think they could be the answer to all my troubles?
Rarity shrugs. “It's worth a try, my dear,” she points out logically.
If you say so. Ahem…
Ah. My subjects are really amusing, aren't they? Of course, it helps that Twilight befriended Discord. Things were so boring without him on our side. He's certainly managed to liven things up. I should invite him to tea at some point, if the maids ever get those stains off of the ceiling.
Oh, right. You probably want to know how the story ends. Patience, dear reader. I was just getting to that. So...did Discord find the answers he wanted? Did the ponies ever recover from his interference? Did Pinkie Pie start to condemn the others ponies and their shameless nudist society? Is this really the end? It depends…. As Discord pointed out, stories never end where they seem to. Stories only end when all the characters are dead. Because when all the characters are dead, what more is there to the story? Naturally, you're probably wondering if I'm trying to tell you that there is no ending. That's not it at all. There is an ending, if you approach it from a certain angle. Perhaps Harry Trotter's story really did end when he had his foals, because nopony wanted to know much more past that point. Perhaps a story ends with the satisfaction of its readers, rather than the ending itself. Perhaps there is no ending to anything, only a beginning nopony follows up on. But I've grown a little tired of this philosophical jargon. Being the Princess of the Sun, I happen to have important duties. That me-damned sun was supposed to be in the sky twenty minutes ago!
The….End?