Chapter 17: Dances with Buffalo
-Xavier's POV-
-Recap-
So much stuff has happened within the past two weeks. Not even bro could keep up with everything. The amount of work we have been getting was ridiculous. I had little to no time to myself, let alone to spend with Rainbow. Twilight, maybe, but after a while, it seemed as if we were running ourselves ragged. Even Jeff had to spend some of his off time filling in requests. About seven times do I remember him saying and I quote: "Can't these pansy ass ponies get shit done themselves?!" I think they may have forgotten that although us humans are 'handy,' there are only seven of us here, and only four of us to go around. Most importantly, we have lives that we want to live too. Sure, the bits were coming in like greedy customers on Black Friday, but what's the point of having money if you don't have the time to spend it? All the more reason why money alone doesn't cause happiness. We started putting things off. Making it so that each of us gets a minimum of five tasks a day. That's 15 customers a day, 20 if Jeff is free and in the mood, which will most likely be rare.That way, all morning and afternoon will be spent working. Evenings and nights are ours. I've been keeping track since I got my phone back.
Now that we had more time for other things besides work, like for our friends and little siblings. I brought it up one day that we spend more time with our friends, mares, and jobs more than our actual family. It was that night that we all decided to hang out and play all night like we did half a year ago before we ended up in Equestria. The only diff was that we were joined by Dash and Pinks. Mr. Microsoft and Mr. Sony had to stay in the parents' room considering most of the games were too violent for the kids and ponies, and we only had but a few games for the PS4 anyway that didn't require internet. It was a good night. Pinkie and Dash stayed overnight, Pinkie sleeping with the kids while Dash with me. They were good company to the others, especially with the former making breakfast in the morning. We'll have to do this more often. We all agreed to try to do this once a week to bond with friends.
Speaking of friends, the kids ended up being surrounded by fillies and colts the next school day. They were being asked about what their talent show performance was about. They were introduced to the world of anime/manga. With Hiroto's artistic craftsmanship, he drew ponies as human anime characters. The fillies and colts were sucked in. Now, Ponyville has a generation of weeabos.
The very next day, Rarity had a job for one of us, and by one of us, I mean 'not me'. Apparently, Pinkie found out in the kids room that humans eat gems too. However, what Pinkie or Rarity didn't know that what Pinkie saw Bri eating was another human candy called "Ring Pops," hard candy made into the shape of a diamond and screwed onto a ring, or however they make it. After Trae explained it, because I wasn't going to talk to Rarity about it, she understood the misunderstanding and went to get Spike to help her instead. Later that day, Rarity and the girls looked dirty, telling us that they found the diamonds they were looking for, but dug them from Diamond Dog territory. They told us that Diamond Dogs tried to use Rarity as a slave to mine and carry all of the diamonds like a pack mule, but she whined her way out of it. I couldn't help but laugh. I imagined Rarity whining and crying and throwing tantrums like a child. The Diamond Dogs would've sent her to hell, but then again, hell would probably send her back up. That said either three things about Diamond Dogs and what probably happened. They're either pretty stupid, or pretty fickle. Probably both. Unless Rarity really is an unbearable whiner. I'm inclined to believe the later. My heart secretly went out to the poor Diamond Dogs.
A few days after that, Fluttershy became a model. Guess who was her acting manager. Rarity. Or she was until some mare named Photo Finish took Flutters away from her. Fluttershy, as pretty as she is, didn't really have the personality of a model, but funny thing, everyone is attracted to her personality more than Rarity's who also wanted to shine. HAH! SUCK IT! Once again, I laughed at this. However, the only one who caught on to what I was really laughing at was Fluttershy. She was the only pony who knew how I really felt about Miss Bell, and it sort've bothered her still. Twilight asked me for help. She knew both Rarity and Flutters hated the situation, but Twilight was trusted to keep their secrets from one another. She asked for advice, but I went straight to Jack with an idea. I told Rarity's secret to Fluttershy while Jack unknowingly told Rarity hers. Pinkie wasn't too happy with us, saying "Losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend FOREVEEERRRRRR!!!," but we never made any Pinkie Promises, and Rarity and I weren't really what you'd call friends, and I do not trust her type. Pinkie couldn't say much else. Hehe. Finding valid loopholes is pretty amazing.
-Recap Over-
Monday Night
3/21
I was in my room, about to catch some Z's. There weren't going to be any ponies sleeping with me tonight. Twilight said she's been falling behind in her studies while staying here. Rainbow Dash had to get up bright and early, and knowing how I am in the mornings, I mutually agreed that she should sleep in her own home tonight. It was pretty quiet. And lonely. It's that feeling that you get used to sleeping with someone you love, but when she isn't there, you get the idea. My thoughts were interrupted by a gentle tap on the window. It was either Rainbow or another pegasus. When I looked, it was Fluttershy. It seemed like she had something on her mind, and considering it was a little past midnight, it must've been something really going on in her mind. I got up from my bed and let her in.
"Hey Flutters. Have a nightmare or somethin?"
"Hey.. I was hoping that I could talk to you about something.." Fluttershy meekly asked.
"What's on your mind?
"After I quit modeling, I was thinking. Rarity wanted me to keep going because she thought I liked it, even though she wanted to be in the spotlight." She said. Nope.
"Yeah, I'm not much of a guy that likes being in the spotlight like that either, I mean, how did you do it for so long?" Fluttershy looked at me for a moment before continuing.
"I don't think she's the type of mare that you think she is, because-" I cut her off again.
"Yeah, I remember that one time when I was 14, I went to this drama camp. Heheh, man was I out of place." Again, she paused. She started to look frustrated. I knew it was rude, but I find it pointless to talk to backstabbing whorses. Heheh. Whorse. See what I did there? Because she's a pony, and ponies are like small horses and...
"If you could just give her one more chance, maybe you could just-"
"Yeah. I am definitely not a stage person."
Her ears folded back as she gave me a stare. I sighed at her. "Look. I know you want me to be friends with your friends, but I still don't like her, and I don't want to talk about her."
"Can you really really stay mad at her forever? It happened a month ago." Fluttershy didn't seem like she was going to let up.
"I have a question. Just a hypothetical. Say Rarity's wings didn't burn? What would've happened? Would she have ever learned her lesson? Would Rainbow Dash really have won and had the somewhat best day of her life? I don't think so. She probably would've shown off her wings until they wore off. If say, they didn't wear off, she would've abandoned all of us, including you. I'm not talking about this anymore. I'm tired."
With that said, I went back to bed. She flew back out of the window, but she didn't go home. Instead, I could hear her knocking on Bro's window. I chuckled at that, but I didn't think much of it. I really was tired, so I went back to sleep.
Tuesday
3/22
I woke up to a partially cloudy morning. I guess Dash found out about my reaction to the sky being completely cloudy. I'll have to thank her for that later. I checked my phone for the time. It was a quarter to 9. Quite early. I could hear the kids downstairs watching their shows (aka many of the dvds we've had stored.) I could hear 'Avatar: The Last Airbender' downstairs. Jeff was heading out, saying some pony busted a wall or something along those lines. Jack was down there with the kids, eating a lot of pancakes. Four stacks! Gee. The only thing bigger than his appetite at the moment would be Applejack's request.
...
Applejack's big request. She needs some of us to go deliver a tree with her to Appleloosa. She wrote that her friends were coming. Oh goody. Another rule for bro to put down for our services. 'If we are needed for out of town escort, let us know in advance to give us time to prepare. Had she not been our dear friend and Jack's fillyfriend, they'd be SOL (Shit Out of Luck). I told Jack about it. Turns out he knew about the entire thing. So she tells him but not me. If he wasn't my best friend ever in both worlds, I'd let him go alone. Atleast it means he was already packed. I felt I wasn't going to need to bring much, so I brought my phone, my 3DS XL, and a few protein granola bars (We gave Mr. and Mrs. Cake the rappers of our already eaten bars that had the ingredients. They did a damned well good job of remaking them when I mentioned it had no meat.) Okay, I didn't take a few. I took a few handfuls. Not for my sake, but in case anyone got hungry. Me, Jack, or a few of the ponies. I'm not that quick to eat more than I need to because of my slow system. I can survive off of two granola bars an entire day. Perfect for the post-apocolyptic worlds. I get thirsty easily though. Nevermind.
Jack had the idea of us going there early so we could pick our cars to sit in. I could see through him. You just wanna see Applejack. When we arrived at the train station, I noticed something. There were ponies pulling the engine. I did not know what to think of that. What's the point of having an engine in the first place if it's just gonna be pulled? It's extra weight for one, and for two, it defeats the purpose! Plus, they have magic! Can't they get the trains powered by unicorn magic? I suppose they were going to wait for the smart humans to figure that one out. The girls arrived a half an hour later along with Jeff and Big Mac, carrying an apple tree. An apple tree for godsakes! It was about that time to get on board. The two big guys helped put the tree into the caboose while the girls, Spike, Jack and I boarded the train. Of course, Jeff being Jeff, brought two of his babies, Charlie and Hank. I guess you can never be too careful if things get hairy. Jeff sat with the tree.
That was until Applejack went back there to read a story to the inanimate object. It was just too much for him. He went to the next car ahead of us.
"Can ya'll talk some goddamn sense into that girl for Christ's sake! She's actin like a goddamn nut case, readin to a tree!"
Rarity went to the back to see what he was talking about.
Jack stood up to Applejack's defense. "Maybe it's a farm pony thing." No one likes a knight in shining armor, Jack. "Right girls?"
They shook their heads. Even Fluttershy the nature pony didn't say anything. Rarity came back.
"I cannot believe the nerve of that mare! She has a private car for a tree! What about me?!"
Fluttershy looked at me from the other side of the car as I bit my mouth shut. RARITY SHUT THE- You know what? No... She's not worth it.
"She treats that tree more like a pony that's more important than me!" Rarity pouted.
Jack placed a hand over his head. "Rarity, will you give it a rest already? You're not exactly the center of the universe yourself, you know."
Rarity 'humph'ed and went back to her seat. Twilight was sitting beside me. Rainbow Dash was on my other side, staring at the holster which I kept my 'method of self defense'.
"Something on your mind, Dash?"
"Do you really need to bring that everywhere?" She asked. Yeah, she's never been easy around guns ever since we first met. Understandable actually. She told me Jeff used one of his weapons against a dragon, but it didn't do much besides annoy him. The others didn't see it shatter a vase, and neither of them saw them tear through flesh. Let's hope they'll never get to.
"I'll only use it as a last resort. If no one's a threat, it won't be used. Isn't that right Jeff?!" I asked out loud. He heard me.
"Yeah yeah whatever."
The train ride was a long one. I had already eaten two of my granola bars. I had around twenty one of 'em. Jack had one, Jeff had three, and I let Rainbow try one. I should probably just hand 'em out to the other two. I did. Jeff and I were left with four each while Jack had six.
"Hey! How come he gets to have six!" Jeff protested.
"Because I evenly split it between the three of us. 7 per man. You ate three of yours, I ate two and gave one to Dash. Jeff only had one. You do the math."
Jeff just grumbled in response.
"If you're still hungry after gobbling up your last bar, you can ask AJ nicely for an apple from the tree in the back."
"Yeah whatever.." Jeff mumbled something else, but I couldn't really hear it.
Nothing really happened during the long ride to Appleloosa that day. Just the occasional chatting, the occasional snuggling with Dash and Twi, and mentally cursing out Rarity who was still trying to sleep the day in. I didn't know if I should wake her up just to annoy her, or leave her alone so I wouldn't have to hear her voice. Tough call, I think I'll stick to leaving her alone.
After a while, the rest of the beds were being set up. The girls had their beds set up. AJ slept in the car we were in though. There wasn't enough room and "Bloomberg needs her space" apparently. BLOOMBERG IS A TREE!!! Although we were in the car ahead of the rest of the girls, we could still hear them murmuring until it woke up Rarity.
"...be QUIET NOW!!!"
Heheheh. It was mostly quiet after that. The two Jacks cuddled each other to sleep while I sat with Jeff on the opposite corner.
"I'll never understand how you and him can even do it. They're ponies."
"Well, Jeff, I don't know about bro, but Jack and I would rather have someone to love, and quite frankly, I don't know any other human girl besides my 7 year old sister, who is definately off limits." He cringed at the idea. Good. He's not gonna go pedo. "Besides, Rainbow and Twi are pretty cool." I pointed to the sleeping couple. "The Jacks are happy together, so where's the problem?"
"They are ponies! They aren't human!"
"Well, they've gotten past the different species part. I have too."
"So you two will be fucking ponies?"
I paused for a moment. "Dash, Twi and I aren't at that part of our relationships yet, but we'll come across that bridge when we get to it. Why is this bothering you so much? I'm pretty satisfied with the way my love life is, and Jack seems to be too. If you wanna be alone for the rest of your life, that's on you." And with that, I hit the sack. I was pretty tired and I kept my bars close so no hands or hooves could get to them. My food!
Wednesday
3/23
The next morning, I had a rude awakening as I was violently tossed from my bed. I looked out the window and saw buffalo wearing feathers on their heads in a Native American fashion. I thought nothing of it at first until I realized why I was violently tossed from my bed. They were ramming the train. Jeff already had 'Hank' drawn.
"Jeff! Don't you fucking dare!" I warned.
It was too late. He was already out of the car. I went after him. I found him on the roof of the next car when I saw how many of them there were. There were dozens of them. I couldn't count all of them when I heard a loud cracking noise.
'KRAKAK!!'
One the buffalo stumbled, having a few others behind him tripping over their fallen foe. I climbed on the roof before Jeff could take aim again and tackled him.
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND!!!"
"HAVE YOU?! THIS IS AN ATTACK!!!" He yelled, pointing further down the train. Rainbow was chasing a younger looking buffalo on the train's roof. He aimed at the younger buffalo when the train was going through a curve. I noticed a buffalo with full feathers on his head, looking at Jeff with concern in his eyes. Must be the leader. He looks frightened, which means... I snatched the assault rifle out of his hand and hung it over the edge.
"You wouldn't fucking dare!"
"Oh I would, and you won't do shit about it! You may be bigger, but don't you think for a second I will not give you hell! When bro ain't around, you listen to me!"
"Says who!"
"SAYS ME! The one who has his head on the tightest, because it clearly ain't you!!"
We both gave each other a stare off from the top of the train. I wasn't going to have any of his shit or his trigger-happiness. He knew it, but his pride seemed to get the better of him when I noticed him standing up.
"Give me my gun."
"Sorry. I keep dangerous toys away from kids." That's all I said before heading back to the car's ladder. I could hear him stomping after me. Idiot. I turned to avoid him, but the caboose detached from the rest of the train and the train accelerated from the weight decrease. That itself made Jeff lose balance. The Buffalo stopped and went after the caboose, carrying it in the opposite direction. I didn't see Rainbow Dash anywhere, but I could look for her later. I needed to settle an issue with one of my kind first. Jeff was hanging off of the side of the train. I stood over him.
"Help me up now!" he demanded.
"You are in no position to be giving me demands." I gave him a smile. "Seems this is karma trying to give you a message."
"WHEN I GET UP THERE, I'M GOING TO-" the train curved again. He was slipping and he knew it. "Please! Help me up!"
"I will, under one condition. Your guns. Bro and I will be charge of them, and you will listen to me when he isn't around."
"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!" He tried to grab my ankle and pull him down with him, but I could see that coming a mile away. I lift the foot he was trying to grab and stomped on his hand quickly. This left him only hanging on one and. I placed my hand on his.
"What should I say... 'Long live the king,' or 'I am your father, Luke?'" He knew where I was going at.
"FINE FINE! YOU WIN! FUCK! JUST HELP ME! THE GUNS ARE YOURS!" He couldn't hold on anymore. His grip failed and he started to fall. I caught him before he ended up stranded in the desert and pulled him up. He was heavy, but we had somewhat of a deal.
"Good." I panted. "Oh. And the moment you try something..." I frowned at him. "Y o u w i l l b e d e a d w h e r e y o u s t a n d."
He seemed to get the message. 'Stay in line or have a bad time.' References aside, we both came back inside with me holding his weapons. Jack looked at us both.
"What was going on out there?!" he asked.
"The buffalo stole the caboose and left us alone. It's all good now."
"No it's not." Jack asked.
"What do yo-" The door burst open with Applejack standing in the doorway.
"THEY GOT BLOOMBERG!! YA GOTTA HELP ME GET 'ER BACK!"
Am I really going to have to be the only voice of reason here? "It's just a tree, Applejack. One apple can grow up to four Bloombergs, ya know."
AJ looked offended. "That ain't just no tree. She is my tree!"
"Yeah! That's her tree, Xavier!" Jack said, standing by her.
Again, no one likes a knight in shining armor, Jack.
I looked out the window. We were just stopping by a station. The ponies rushed past me, out of the train, and by the station where we met a grinning stallion who's grin could match Pinkie's. I think we've found your match, Miss Pie.
"Hey there! Welcome ta 'AAAAAAPPLELOOS-" He was cut off by the sight of our tall beings looming over her cousin.
"WHAT IN TARNATION?!?" he shrieked.
"Braeburn, listen!" Applejack started
"Applejack ya brought monsters here?!?" Braeburn was shivering.
Jack and I looked at each other, grinning. Hell yes...
Before we could do anything though, Twilight stepped in front of us, giving me a glare. "Xavier, don't even! We don't have time for this!" She turned to Braeburn. "They're not monsters, they're aliens."
Killjoy...
"Braeburn! Somethin terrible's happened!"
"Not as terrible-lookin as them new fellers ya got there." Braeburn bluntly said. This raised a couple of eyebrows from us humans.
"Hey! That's my boyfriend you're talking about!"
It was quiet for a few seconds, this time, with Braeburn's eyebrow raised.
"AJ, you-"
"Braeburn, now's not the time to talk about that. I'm tryin to tell you"
"Well yer late for the tour, but uh keep an eye on yer alien mates."
Like they really needed to. We were being shoved all around town. Poor AJ couldn't get a word in. After being shoved all around town (Jack and I ended up lying on both Twi and AJ's back, we ended up at their Apple orchard. Applejack was tring to talk to Braeburn, but the guy was like Pringles. Once he pops he just don't stop.
"BRAEBURN WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET THE MARE SPEAK?!?" Sir Jack yelled.
I shook my head at him.
"Pardon?"
"Ehem. Braeburn you have a very nice town an all, but we have a HE-YUUUUUUGE problem! Some of our friends are missin'!"
"Yeah, my other fillyfriend disappeared too." I added.
"A stampede of buffalo!"
"They took spike!"
"Rainbow Dash went after them!"
She what?! Alone?
"And we can't find Pinkie Pie!"
"And we had an apple tree for yer orchard, but they took that too!"
There was a short pause. "Did you say buffalo?" Braeburn asked.
"Uh, yeah. Big muscly brown furballs with horns that wear Native American headwear." I said.
I was ignored again as he sighed. "Them buffalo. They want us settler ponies to take every single tree ya see here off this land. They sure as hay don't want any new ones added in."
"But why?"
Braeburn explained that they worked hard on their town and needed the trees to feed the everyone, and the buffalo came out of nowhere and told them to get rid of it.
I can see how you'd see the problem, but if I've learned anything from my history classes on Earth, there's most likely another side to this story.
"We could take care of your buffalo problem if I could have my gun back." Goddamnit Jeff!
"You can?!" Braeburn's face lit up.
"Jeff, I swear! You're cruising for a bruising! Seriously! Cut the shit!" I turned to the stallion. "Don't listen to him. His way is the wrong way that will have negative repercussions on both your town and us."
"If ye say so. Well, Ah'm gonna go on ahead and talk to the sheriff about this, and tell them about you three too. Ya know, just so no one'll get spooked." Braeburn said before walking off. Jack and I looked at each other and nodded our heads. We knew what we had to do.
The rest of the day was hilarious. We were pretty much acting like monsters throughout the town and making weird noises and faces, scaring the ponies senseless. Our inner trolls were starving, and we couldn't feed them after Braeburn told the sheriff, who we ended up letting ourselves get caught by. He took us to the town jail, which was pretty worn and unkept. I guess crime rate is low here. Needless to say, we busted out of their flimsy holding cells just to scare the living shit out of the sheriff. Although we did do just that to him and every pony, unfortunately Twilight and Applejack were talking to him with Braeburn at the time. Boy did we get a scolding. Let's just say Jack and I slept outside that night with no supper.
Well, for all they knew we did. We had granola bars!
Thursday
3/24
The next morning, we set out to look for our missing party members. I had both 'Hank' and 'Charlie'...Hank... Charlie... Hank... Charlie... FUCK HE NAMED THIS AFTER JIM CARREY'S CHARACTER(S) FROM 'ME, MYSELF, AND IRENE!' Clever Jeff. I told Jeff to stay behind. When everyone was ready, we set off. We only took a few steps out into the desert before we found them right there. I was immediately tackled by Dash while Flutters tackled Pinkie.
"How did you escape from the buffalo?" Twilight asked.
"We didn't." Pinkie pointed over by a rock. The young skinny buffalo that Dash was chasing jumped from behind it.
"We promised the buffalo a chance to talk."
Applejack didn't like where this was going. "Oh yeah? 'Bout what?"
"We brought our pal Little Strongheart here to explain to the Appleloosans why they should move the apple trees off Buffalo land."
This is sounding all too familiar.
Braeburn seemed on board with letting Strongheart talk, but AJ was having none of it. "That's weird, 'cause my cousin Braeburn here wants ta explain to the buffalo why they should let the apple trees stay!"
All too familiar. Like a western Pocahontas movie. This also meant that if things stay where they are, our history will repeat on this world too. Rainbow's nudging pulled me out of my thoughts.
"Xavier, tell AJ that the Appleloosans can plant their trees somewhere else!"
"Jack, tell Rainbow that they can't because it's the only flat area where the trees can grow."
"RD, the settlers need flat trees to-" Sir Jack was cut off.
"Xavier, tell that cowpony that the buffalo had it first!"
"Jack! Puh-lease tell Miss Speedster that the ponies need it to live!"
"RD, the settlers need the trees to-"
"JACK! Goddammit stop being a fucking knight in shining armor!" I snapped.
"Oh yeah?! What're you doing then? You're taking your girl's side!"
"You don't hear me saying anything. I'm listening to both sides! We've heard from the Appleloosan's side. Now I'd like to hear from the buffalo."
"Girls! Both the settlers and the buffalo have good reasons to use this land. There must be something we can do!"
Pinkie jumped up out of nowhere between me and Jack. Goddammit girl you gotta stop doing that! "Hey! I've got an idea!"
Curious, we went with it. A little while later, the buffalo and Appleloosans were all crowded infront of a stage with he humans in the back. One of the buffalo had bandages around his leg, eyeing the three of us wearily. Must be the one that Jeff shot. I gave him an apologetic look. It didn't phase him. Pinkie poked her head out as music began to play. It's a fucking musical... should've known. My stomach was twisting as she sang. Did it help? It didn't. All it did was make things physical for the next day. Note to self. Musicals do not always solve problems. Keep Pinkie from singing outside of Ponyville.
We needed to do something before things got ugly, and they were going to get ugly. The townsman started preparing pies like they would prepare ammo. These ponies are idiots... I tugged on Jack's sleeve and motioned him to come with me.
"Where are ya'll goin? We need ya'll here ta help us settle this mess."
"We're going to discuss this ourselves. Let's just say that we have a pretty good idea what will happen if things go the way they are going now." I told her.
"What will-"
"Trust us, babe. You do what you can to help them." Jack said. Hey. He's taking my side this time. Cool.
"Alright. Ah take it ya'll have a plan then."
We didn't answer. At the outskirts of the town, we discussed our plan.
A few hours later, I followed the buffalo to their little camp alone, leaving Jack with the Appleloosans. I ate another granola bar, silently thanking Jack for handing me one of his, and waited until night time to reveal myself. When I did, I was holding Hank over my shoulder. That weapon got the chief's attention. Catching his attention in the way I did though, wasn't really a good thing. A few others stormed around me. The already injured buffalo was screaming bloody murder. Must be the Roseluck of the buffalos.
"What business do you have here, alien."
"First of all, if I wanted all of you dead, I would've taken you all out by now without you even knowing what hit you, so call off your guys. Second of all, I've come to warn you about what will happen if you go through with your plan to assault the town. You'll put your people through a struggle unlike any other."
Dash flew up to me. "Who's side are you on?! Those lands are theirs! It's their sacred trampling ground!"
"I'm not on neither side. Relax. I'm just trying to make sure no one does anything they'll regret." My eyes shifted over to the chief. "But something tells me that you won't really be swayed by my warnings."
The chief glared at me. He called off his people. "This is something we must do, alien. There's no way of talking me out of taking our land."
"Fine. I guess I'll see you on the battlegrounds then." I walked off to a large rock not too far from the camp. After a while, Dash flew by the rock as I was munching on half of my third to last granola bar. "Hey Skittles."
"Hey Xavier." She landed beside me. "Things are really going crazy around here. Little Strongheart doesn't want this fight to happen either. I don't know if you can talk Chief Thunderhoof out of trampling the town, especially after you shot Heavyfeathers."
"That was Jeff with the gun, not me. And I stopped him before Little Strongheart got the same treatment, or worse." I handed her the other half of the bar. "And yeah, if Jack doesn't get things settled down in Appleloosa, then we're going to have to go with plan B."
"Plan B?"
"It'll involve a lot of talking."
"And if that doesn't work?"
"Then, with no intention on hurting anyone, I may have to resort to using the guns."
This got Dash's eyes to widen. "You're not going to-"
"I only plan on scaring them into a compromise. They're on edge just by me being around them. Why? Because they know nothing about me, humans, and our weaponry. Only that we know how to use it, and that it's dangerous. Plan C is to use that to my advantage."
"I really really hope you won't have to go with Plan C."
"You and me both."
Friday
3/25
The next morning, I woke up. Today was the big day. I ate another granola bar and gave the last one to Dash. The buffalo had their war paint on their faces, traveling to Appleloosa. I got up and started to go with them. I was stopped by Chief Thunderhoof himself.
"You, alien, are fighting with us or against us. If you are not our ally, then tread away from my people."
"Trust me, big guy, if you were my enemy, there'd be none of you left right now."
"Even though you saved my daughter, alien, you're still a danger to the rest of us."
"Good."
He snorted and moved along. Soon, we were there, all lined up. I found Jack walking out of that salt saloon, looking for me. When our eyes made contact, he shook his head. Looks like we'll have to initiate Plan B. There was an intense stare off between the Appleloosans and the buffalo. It was quiet. I looked to the Chief. His daughter got his attention. He must've started having second thoughts about this entire thing. For a moment, it looked like he was about to call the entire thing off.
Nope.
"You gotta shaaaaaare! You gotta caaaaaaaare! It's the right thing to-"
"BOOOOOO!!!! GET OFF THE STAGE, PINKIE!!!" yelled Jack.
I seconded him. "NOT THE TIME!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"
Pinkie's eyes started to water. I wasn't paying much attention to her though. I was looking at the Chief. If that song continued, he might've charged. I think now's the time. I gave Jack the signal. Him and I came from both of our sides and walked up to each other between the two factions and turned to the sides we both came from.
"May we have your undivided attention please!" We both said at the same time. "It's about time we gave each and every one of you a lesson on human history!" Of course, I could feel Twilight's enthusiasm raise literally from a mile away.
I started first. "Buffalo! There are humans like you. Proud people who value their traditions who once roamed the lands they also valued from which we were born in. Settlers from a far away land came and settled on their lands by mistake. They were going to share the lands at first, hence why the holiday Thanksgiving was founded." I didn't really remember if this is how it happened. It's been ages since I had touched the subject. They didn't really know though. Jack continued.
"The settlers eventually started wanting more and more from the native's land. When the natives refused to give what was asked, they had used many bogus and cheap tricks to take what they wanted, even at the cost of Native lives and tradition!"
I took the floor again. "Both sides considered each other savages. No one as willing to make amends or share." Pinkie was about to say something, waving her hoof, but the deadly looks Jack and I were giving her grounded it. "As a result, war broke out! Natives against the settlers. Just like what's going on here! Wanna know how that ended? I'll tell you. When we were innocent and ignorant kids, we used to play a game called 'Cowboys and Indians aka Natives.' No one wanted to play as the natives! It was an unfair game! The natives would always lose because of how advanced the cowboys were. I've only met but maybe two or three Natives in my entire life around where I live, and I live around hundreds of thousands of people! There aren't many of them left. Although Appleloosans don't have guns or cannons or impenetrable armor, you guys don't have bow and arrows. However, the town is an Equestrian one that is under Celestia's rule, and she can move the sun and moon apparently. How would you think she will take one of her towns with its subjects being trampled to starvation? Not too well. Chief! Think about your people! Your little girl! Do you want he to grow up under Celestia's punishment, barely meeting any of her kind to learn her roots from? It'll be even worse for her descendents!"
This got the buffalo to think.
"Jack. You're up."
It was Jack's turn to speak to the Appleloosans. "Ponies, in my personal opinion, you are all better than mankind. Enough to try to solve this problem to make everyone happy. If you keep their land hostage, the blood will be on all of your han-hooves!" Keep it together, Jack! "And it'll be on your hooves for generations! We all remembered the name of the settler who is at fault for the beginning of the land raiding back home! Do you really want your town and your name to go down that road throughout history, Sheriff Silverstar?! Appleloosa! Ruled by Sheriff Silverstar! Responsible for the disappearance of most buffalo! Not the kind of thing I'd want to take to my grave and the graves of my neighbors."
The Appleloosans looked at their sheriff, who in turn, looked down at his hooves. Plan B was working. Now to nip this in the bud. "Chief, Sheriff, come to the center so we can discuss a proper solution. We can come to a compromise. It may take all day, all night, but this is important. Twilight, magic us a table and some chairs and join us. You just might learn something." Everyone did as told. We were all seated at a round table with drinks. Both sides explained why they needed the land. The chief needed it for his people's traditional trampling grounds, and the Sheriff needed to feed his people. The buffalo needed a widened path to trample on, so a lot of the trees would have to go, but that would mean the town would lose a lot of its food source. The two leaders were trying to find a way around these issues, together. So far, everything was going perfectly.
Until...
'Grrrrrrrrrrrrmph....'
My stomach was growling. This caused both parties and my friends to chuckle a bit to my slight embarrassment. I looked around and saw a lot of pies. Apple pies. I turned to the Appleloosans. "Hey. Can someone bring us some of those pies here?" Sure enough, a few ponies brought some pies over. The chief looked at his like it was a foreign object. I took out my carved fork and dug into mine and man was it good! "Holy shit... Twi, you should try this!" She dug her muzzle into the pie and licked it clean.
"Wow! Applejack may have some competition! Just... don't tell her I said that."
"Yup. These apple pies are made with the famous Appleloosan recipes." Silverstar spoke with pride.
This sparked the chief's curiosity even more as he tried it himself. His eyes went wide."This really is good! Apple pies you call these?"
"Eeyup!" Silverstar said proudly.
"I've got an idea!" The chief started. "We will allow the orchard to stay. In return for a share of these delicious apple pies."
"Ya got yerself a deal!" Silverstar extended his hoof and Chief Thunderhooves shook it.
Okay, this... was an unforseeable solution to this entire problem, but I won't argue with the results.
The rest of the Buffalo were questioning their leaders decision until they got a taste of what we had. They instantly agreed. Problem solved. Mission accomplished. Plan B worked! I looked around. Everyone was happy.
"Meeting adjourned." I got up from my chair after Jack. Jeff was leaning against the saloon. We'll have to deal with him. His very presence puts everyone on edge, now including me. He was very quick to turn to violence. He even charged at me, his friend just to shoot more buffalo. I knew I was going to have to keep a close eye on that one.
Later on that day, we got on the train back to Ponyville. I was wondering what would have happened if we weren't there. I was mentally exhausted. I couldn't really sleep all that well, however. not with him around, so I stayed with the girls. They were asking me about the things I said and if they were true. I just told them that I said what I remembered. Like I said, I hadn't touched the topic in a long long time. Dash picked up on my exhaustion and let me sleep with her. Of course, Rarity had that look on her face. The look that said 'Wait until I get back to Ponyville and tell everybody about this.' It would've been a long ride back if I wasn't so tired. I went back to sleep.