It was the next afternoon. I had called in “knowing Twilight” to work that morning, and gone off to hang out with Scootaloo and Applejack in that skate park that the Crusaders had built down by the schoolyard when they were trying to get their cutie marks as general contractors. We found Discord there, doing something weird. He’d created a flat black rectangle about two hooves across. When he drew on it with his claw, platforms appeared in the air. We watched in fascinated confusion as he carefully laid out lines of hovering blocks. He adjusted them lovingly, erasing and redrawing with a care and attention to detail I don’t think I’d ever seen from him before.
“Um, what are you doing?” asked Scootaloo, squinting at Discord’s creation.
Discord held up his paw, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth as he carefully adjusted the positioning of a platform. “It’s an obstacle course,” he said when he was done. “I remember doing something like this when I was a boy. Or at least I think I do. It’s someone’s memory, anyway. I can never be sure.”
Applejack frowned. “What’s a boy?”
Discord sighed. “Sort of like a living cabbage fart, but louder and smellier. Would one of you like to try the course?”
“Buck yes!” shouted Scootaloo, pulling on her helmet and leaping over to her scooter. She kicked off and whooshed up the steep ramp to the starting ledge, little flipper wings buzzing. She zipped down the flat beginning of the course, launched herself into the air towards the first platform, immediately slammed into an invisible object, and rammed back into the ground.
“Ow!” she said, rubbing her head through her helmet. “That wasn’t fair!”
Discord rolled his eyes. “Of course it wasn’t fair. I designed it. Here. I will add shiny objects to engage your tiny pony mind and show you where to go.” He tapped his tablet, and hoof-sized, floating bits appeared over the platforms. I flapped down towards one and reached out to touch it, then jerked back when it vanished with a small flash and a ringing noise.
“What the…!” I flapped backwards, startled.
Discord chuckled. “Ready, little orange pony?”
“And how!” Scootaloo buzzed into motion, jumped her scooter towards the first line of bits, and ran into the exact same invisible block as last time. “Discord!” she howled, helmet pushed down over her eyes by the impact.
Discord flopped on his back laughing. “Fool you once, shame on you. Fool you twice, also shame on you. Please, do try again.”
Scootaloo pushed her helmet back off her eyes, scooted back to the start, and kicked off again. She kept her head low on the first jump and skidded sideways across the first platform, coins dinging and puffing into nothingness as she passed. If Discord had set up any more invisible barriers, she managed to avoid them, and in a few seconds she slapped the top of the flagpole at the end of the course and fluttered down to the ground. “Ha! Beat it.”
Discord sat up. “Oh, very well done. Clearly, the course is too easy. Here, let me make some adjustments.” He began carefully narrowing platforms and widening jumps as Scoots rolled back to the start.
I socked Scootaloo in the shoulder. “I’ll race you this time.”
“You’re on,” she smirked.
The fifth time through, Scoots missed the last, highest platform. I scooped her out of the air and set her down before her yelp was halfway out of her mouth.
“I dunno if we should be doing this, gang.” Applejack was looking a little nervous.
“What are you? Chicken?” Scootaloo never let an opportunity to try and shift that particular never-live-it down moment off of herself.
“I just don’t know if this isn’t too excitin’.”
I rolled my eyes. “Please, Applejack. This is barely ticking over for me emotionally.”
Scoots bounced in a circle around AJ. “You wanna try it?”
AJ smirked. “Do I?”
Twilight appeared in a flash of purple light. She had bags big enough to hold money in under her eyes, and seemed to be trembling slightly.
“What exactly is going on here?” she snapped. “Applejack, you were supposed to be keeping Rainbow out of trouble.”
“Shoot, Twi, we were just tryin’ to have some fun.”
Twi sniffed. “Fun. Accelerated heart rate. Release of endorphins and dopamine. Potential for stressful injuries. Fun is not okay.”
I rolled my eyes, and bit back some ill-advised comments. Loving… I mean, really liking someone, totally only as a friend, only makes them more annoying when they’re being a pain in the plot. I took a deep breath to calm myself. The world as we know it might end if I lost my cool. “What do you want me to do, be bored?”
Twilight nodded sharply. She was definitely shaking. I wondered if coffee was all she’d been using to stay awake. “Yes. Bored would be good. But not too bored. The last thing we need is you getting depressed.”
“So I should aim for moderately bored,” I deadpanned.
Twilight sighed loudly. “Can’t you just stop feeling things until I figure this out?”
“Twi, ponies can’t just turn off their feelings,” AJ said.
Twilight looked suspicious. “We can’t?”
AJ shook her head. “Nope. No way.”
Twilight tapped her chin, a faraway look in her eyes. “That explains so much.”
“So, uh, how’s saving the universe going?” said Applejack, trying to change the subject.
Twi’s trembling increased. “You mean saving the universe from myself? It’s going terribly, thank you for asking. I thought I could repurpose the human-world mirror device to seal the rift, but the only thing I’ve accomplished in the past twenty-four hours is completely disassembling it, and I now can’t figure out how to put back together again! I tried sending a message through to the universe I stole Rainbow’s stallion body from, but if it got through, then they either didn’t notice, or they’re ignoring it.
“Anyway, I was just checking in. I’ve got to get back to work. Don’t have too much fun. I mean that literally — stop having fun, right now.” And she vanished in another flash of purple light.
Discord rolled his eyes. “Why do you hang out with that nag?” A tiny, pointy-hooved Twilight popped into existence over his shoulder, dancing back and forth and going “Blah blah blah do what I say because I’m a pretty pony princess blah blah blah” in a squeaky little voice.
“Hey,” I said sharply, flapping over and kicking his hurtful caricature into fairy dust, “she’s trying to save our lives, pal.”
“Yours, not mine. I can leave this universe any time I want.” Discord picked up his black box with a slow smile. “So Applejack — how do you feel about spikes?”
———
When the sun started to go down, all of us but Discord went back to Sweet Apple Acres for dinner. Applejack invited Discord, but he told us he’d rather choke on a goat and puffed off to wherever he goes when he’s not actively being a dong.
After the foals had gone to bed, AJ and I went up to her room with a jug of cider, a deck of cards, and a couple of joints.
AJ loves that shit. Understandable, for a mare who keeps herself wound up so tightly. Normally a lazy high like that isn’t my thing — hard exercise, sex, and a good cider buzz are more my speed. But if I was supposed to stay calm, maybe Sweet Apple Acres’ third most famous product was just what I needed.
“So, Applejack,” I asked, taking a toke and passing the joint back to her, “are you sure it’s a good idea for us to be sharing a bed, if I’m supposed to stay out of trouble?” I started to shuffle the cards.
AJ held the little cigarette to her lips and inhaled. “Rainbow, it ain’t never safe to be around you. But I gotta make sure you don’t do anything foolish like sneak off to Granny Smith’s bedroom in the middle of the night. Now deal.”
“I’d hit that. Okay, the game is Dodge City Stud. Princesses are high, Discord is wild.”
AJ chuckled. “Rainbow, you’d hit a chunk of rubber tire you found in the road. Okay, in for five bits.”
“I might, at that. How hot is the tire?” I pushed a small pile of bits over towards Applejack and looked at my cards. A seven of clubs, and a three of diamonds in the hole. I kept my poker face on, though — a stoned AJ is pretty easy to bluff. “Seriously, though, I’m not in the mood tonight. One trip into the silent, horror-filled void a week is enough for me.”
———
Later that night, I lay awake in bed next to a snoring Applejack. In spite of the cloud of blissful apathy I was floating in, I was horny as buck. Being back to back with that tough little mare didn’t help with that. With her sunny, freckle-faced filly-next-door looks and those muscular Apple family haunches, AJ was pretty high up my “to do” list.
My cock was pulsing against my belly, and my hooves drifted towards it. I jerked them away. I started to drift off to sleep, and my hooves drifted right down again. I wished that I’d once in my life hesitated to clop if I felt like doing it.
I visualized Discord’s scolding, pointy-hooved Twilight.
“Twi,” I thought, “can I please come? I promise I won’t get too excited.”
Pointy Twi’s little button eyes narrowed. “Is it masturbation? Or is it sex with someone you love?”
“Um…”
“Do you love yourself, Rainbow?”
“You bet!”
“Then no! Hooves off!”
I groaned. Pointy Twi was a such a killjoy. Also, fantasizing about begging Twi to let me come wasn’t making me any less horny.
I tossed and turned until Applejack woke up and punched me in the ribs. Then I lay still, stewing. I must’ve fallen asleep eventually, though, because I started to dream.
In my dream, there were slender yellow forelegs with fluffy fetlocks on either side of my head. Something thick and heavy was pressing in between my ass cheeks. All right! If colt Fluttershy was what my subconscious wanted, I was game.
Flutterguy’s deep, resonant voice whispered in my ear, “Oh, Blitz. You can’t believe how long I’ve wanted this.”
“Yes, I can, buddy,” I purred, bearing down and opening for him. “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life.” He slid inside me, and I bit down on my lower lip. Damn, he was huge! Almost as big as Macintosh, it felt like. Luckily I like ’em large. I reached in between my back legs… and found mare parts. I chuckled. It was just like Fluttershy to got stampeding for the ponut, even when an easier option was available. I pushed down on my clit with the edge of my hoof, thrilling to the old familiar sensation. No big old dick flopping around, just push button convenience. To tell the truth, I was starting to miss some things about being a mare.
“Oh, Butterscotch. Butterscotch!” I groaned as he pushed his cock up my ass. Wait, Butterscotch? What?
My haunches trembled as he rammed inside of me. His thrusts were hungry, unrelenting, and insistent. It felt like his flare was up under my ribs! He grabbed my mane in this teeth and tugged, yanking my head back painfully. “Yes!” I howled, “Harder, you magnificent son of a… Oh Solaris!”
Flutterguy took my advice to heart, throwing his weight down onto me, pinning me down to… to whatever we were fucking on. I hadn’t looked, and now I was too distracted to check. It was hard, whatever it was. My whole pelvis ached from his relentless pounding, and he kept biting my neck and ears and cheek, hard enough to leave bruises under my fur. He screamed into my ear, making my ears ring, and I felt his flare widen inside of me as he came in my guts. I pushed down on my clit and I came too. A hot, burning pulse of energy surged through my body. I arched back against Flutterguy’s chest, feeling his heart pounding against my back, and suddenly I was awake. Every hair of my hide was standing on end.
Lying there in bed, sweaty and gasping, I came to two horrifying realizations. First, that I had come all over Applejack’s sheets. She was going to be pissed. The second was that that hadn’t been a dream. Flutterguy and my opposite number hadn’t gotten the memo about not getting too worked up. This was bad. This was really, really bad.
I sat up in bed. Everything was quiet. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe everything was okay.
Then I heard a roaring, tearing sound from outside, followed by the sound of rushing wind.
I leapt out of bed, wincing as I heard the cum-soaked sheets splat on the hardwood floor. I tore open AJ’s bedroom window and leapt out.
I looked up. There was a gash in the sky, matte black against the deep indigo blue of the Equestrian summer night, and things were moving inside of it.