“I did something really, really bad.”
It was the next morning. Twilight had called an emergency Elements meeting. The six of us met at the Carousel Boutique. Rarity had a deadline to meet, and there was no privacy at the castle with all the workponies repairing the walls.
Fluttershy kept staring at me, except when I tried to make eye contact with her. The awkwardness was palpable, especially since I still wasn’t sure if she was actually still mad at me, or if I’d just freaked her out and now she was too embarrassed to talk to me.
Twilight and I had explained everything that’d happened yesterday and the day before, with the exception of the brother stuff — that was gonna stay between Twi and I. We left in all the vaginal infections, magical disasters, lovers’ spats and casual sex, though. Bless my friends, none of them looked judgey about any of it. They did look really worried, though.
When we were done. Pinkie raised her hoof.
“You have a question, Pinkie?” said Twilight.
“More like an observation.” Pinkie lowered her hoof. “Okay, none of this makes any sense. It’s all just a bunch of random sex and weird things happening, and normally that would be my jam, but you two seem really upset. So, yeah, I guess, what’s up with that?”
Twilight took a deep breath. “I thought the spell I cast on Rainbow was a healing spell. I… I knew there was a major extra-dimensional component, but I thought it was just venting excess magical energy to the void. You see that in a lot of really powerful spells. But when I had another look at it this morning, I realized I had it backwards. The healing elements were meant to keep Dash alive while the spell did its real work, which was ripping Rainbow’s soul out of her body, and stealing her a new, healthy one from a parallel universe.”
Rarity’ sewing machine stopped. Everyone was staring at Twilight.
“I told you it was really, really bad.” Twilight’s voice cracked as she spoke.
“Twi,” I asked, suddenly suspicious, “who wrote that book?”
Twilight swallowed hard. “It’s a lost manuscript by the Marquis de Saddles.”
My wings flipped straight out. I snorted and stomped my hoof. “You used unfriendly sex magic on me?”
Twi raised her hooves, her horn glowing, ready to defend herself. “My intent was friendly! I thought I could handle it! Use it for good!”
I took a deep breath. I was the master of my testosterone, not the other way around. “Okay. I forgive you. So what went wrong?”
“I’ll need a visual aid. Rarity, can I borrow these?” Twilight levitated a couple of square scraps of fabric, a pair of scissors, and a sewing pin from Rarity’s work table.
“Of course, darling. Anything you need.”
Twilight hovered the two squares with their flat sides together. “Parallel universes are nestled side-by-side, like so, in a higher dimensional space known as ‘the Bulk’.”
Pinkie raised her hoof again.
Twilight continued. “Now, I swapped the two Rainbows’ bodies. But the souls those bodies belong to are still tethered to their home universes. So there’s a sort of magical bridge connecting the two.” She pushed the sewing pin through the two pieces of fabric. “Like so.”
Pinkie waved her hoof frantically.
Twilight sighed. “Yes, Pinkie?”
“Twilight, I’m pretty sure universes aren’t flat.”
“These scraps of fabric represent realities localized on 3+1-dimensional D-branes in an eleven-dimensional multiverse. Does that help?”
Pinkie lowered her hoof, and bounced cheerfully. “Oh, totally. Thanks for clearing that up.”
“Anyway, the most powerful force affecting magic is the will and emotions of individual ponies. Any time either Rainbow experiences a powerful emotion — like, say, a big fight with their special somepony — it sends a shock through the magical connection, like so.” Twilight wiggled the pin violently, tugging threads loose, and making a little hole. Fluttershy cringed, a guilty look on her face.
Twilight levitated the scissors. “Now, let’s say, in a cruel freak of synchronicity, that both Rainbows somehow managed to have an intense, incredibly fulfilling casual threesome at the same time, and with alternate universe versions of the very same ponies.” Twilight removed the pin, inserted the scissors into the hole the pin had made, and opened them part way, making the hole much wider.
“Now the hole is much easier to damage. Great sex with a close friend?” Twilight spread the scissors further. “A delicious midnight snack? I’m not sure about this one, but the timing seems to support it, so why not?” The hole now spread almost from one edge of the scraps to the other. Twilight plucked up a thimble. “The hole is now big enough for Rainbow to fall through into the screaming darkness of the Bulk and almost die. Of course, I came to the rescue, but what effect do you think that little drama had?” She tore the scraps in half, and tossed them back onto Rarity’s work table.
Applejack hesitantly raised a hoof. “So what happens if the hole gets any bigger?”
“Best-case scenario, there’s a large, permanent hole in the universe that the things that live in the void can swarm through, looking for magical energy to absorb.”
Fluttershy began to slip back underneath a rack of Rarity’s dresses. “Th-things?”
Twilight nodded. “Yes. Just monsters, basically. But scary ones, and a lot of them.”
Applejack quirked an eyebrow. “That’s the best case?”
Twilight shrugged. “Worst case, one or both universes completely unravel. Maybe something even worse than that? There isn’t a lot of empirical data on this kind of thing.” She took a deep breath. “I need to reverse-engineer that spell and see what I can do to resolve the situation. Getting the Rainbows’ bodies back with the correct souls should at least prevent any further damage.”
Rarity looked at Twi over the tops of her little red reading glasses. “And what about us, darling? We can’t possibly sit idly by while you do all the work.”
“Yes,” said Twilight, slipping into full Princess mode, “I need help from all of you. Rarity — finish your dresses and get some sleep. I’m probably going to need some unicorn backup once the spell-casting starts.”
Rarity nodded, and turned back to her sewing machine.
“Pinkie, I’m expecting an all-nighter, at best. I’ll be sending Spike over to Sugarcube for a lot of coffee. I know you guys usually close at six, but can you be ready?”
Pinkie saluted sharply. “Hazelnut, tons of cream, two sugars!”
Twilight smiled. “Great. Rainbow, Fluttershy. I need you two to listen to me closely.”
Flutters poked her head out from under the rack of dresses, ears forward. I glanced between her and Twilight nervously.
“Listen: I know you two just had a really big fight.”
Fluttershy and I nodded as one.
Twilight continued, “And I know you’re both hurting inside.”
We nodded again.
“It is tremendously important that you not do anything about that right now.”
Fluttershy’s lower lip twitched. Tears welled up in her eyes.
I glared murder. “What the actual fuck, Twi?”
Twilight stomped emphatically. “Rainbow, I know how much she means to you. If you two have another fight the damage to our local space-time could be catastrophic! And if you fix your problem, Celestia help us all. Your childhood sweetheart make-up sex could literally tear both universes apart!” Twilight waved her forelegs in the air furiously. Fluttershy whimpered, and slid back under the dress rack to sob silently into the hem of a silk taffeta cape.
For the first time since I’d changed, I wished I was still a mare, so that I could guiltlessly slap Twi a good one. “Thanks a lot, Twi.”
“We have to think of the greater good here, Rainbow. Applejack?”
“Yes, Twi?”
“Your job is to watch Rainbow and keep her out of trouble.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Oh. So nothin’ difficult, then.”
“I have utmost confidence in you. All right. One last thing.” She let Princess mode drop. Her head dipped down. Her shoulders slumped. Her wings drooped. “Fillies, I really messed up. I thought I could handle anything, and I made a little mistake, and now that mistake is getting bigger and bigger, and it could ruin everything. I know it’s not enough, but I’m really really sorry, and… could I please have a hug?”
And we all crowded around her forelegs out, huddling together. Because friends are friends, even when they make mistakes.