Weather ponies don’t need much of an excuse to celebrate.
Weather control is a lot more difficult, dangerous, and stressful than civilians realize. Lightning, hail, tornadoes, and hurricanes — all those things that never touch the ground in Equestria still exist in the sky. We sweat, suffer, and sometimes die so that the ponies on the ground can have blue skies and plentiful crops, and we are damn proud of it.
So if your foremare shows up one morning as a forestallion, it’s a good enough excuse to go down to Berry’s Bar after work and get him blind, stinking drunk. My co-workers kept shoving ciders and shots at me and slapping me on the back, as if I’d wanted to be male. Not that I minded being male — it was all the same to me, and the cock was fun — but it had just sort of happened to me. I knew a couple of ponies who’d gone through tartarus to get what I’d just been given for free.
Anyway, a couple of hours in I’d snuck off to the restroom to puke. I’d blown right through my new body’s extra alcohol tolerance. I knelt in front of the stinking throne, hurling until there was nothing left to purge, and then hurling some more. When my guts finally settled down, I hauled myself up by the flush handle. I was done for the night. Maybe I could squeeze out the window? I turned to go.
“Hello, sailor,” purred Cloud Kicker.
“Um, hi?” I squinted at her. She was blocking my way to the sinks.
“I just wanted to tell you that I really, really like your new look.”
“Um, thanks?” I poked at my mane with a hoof. I’d had it trimmed on my lunch break; I don’t really like having long hair.
“Like, I really, really like it.” She pushed at my chest with her hooves. I stumbled backwards and plopped down on my ass on the toilet seat. “I thought you were hot when you were a mare. But now…” She cleared her throat. I think she was trying to growl?
“That’s nice… but… I’m your supervisor. And you’re drunk. And this restroom is really poorly cleaned.” My guts twisted inside of me. They’d managed to pull together something else to puke up, and were raring for a second round.
She ran her hooves down my belly, and over the new Little Dash. “Oh, that’s not how the Rainbow Dash I know talks. C’mon. I know you want this.” She flicked her tail, and cocked her hips, shaking her flat little plot. Sober, she wasn’t my type at all. Even drunk, didn’t see any appeal to her besides her insides being warm and moist.
“I’m also not feeling very well. You need to get away, right now, Kicker.” I pressed one fetlock against my mouth, and scooted back across the toilet seat, away from those groping hooves.
“Just a quickie. Nopony has to know.” I watched in horror as she sunk to her knees and began to quest forward with her drunken mouth.
Which is when I threw up on her.
———
“Twilight? Twilight, I gotta talk to you!” I had fit through the restroom window, after all. It was tight, but it’s surprising what you can accomplish in an emergency. Now I was in Twilight’s palace, draped across my throne, limbs and wings limp. I’d been calling out for Twi for half an hour — she clearly wasn’t home.
I needed to talk to somepony. Anypony. But after what had happened with Fluttershy, I really didn’t want to barge in on a friend who didn’t know I was male now. Though small town rumors being what they are, the others had probably heard by now. I bet Pinkie would be cool. I smiled. I bet that filly knew some great things to do with dicks.
“Hey.” It was Twilight’s voice. I looked up. She was lying over the arm of Fluttershy’s throne, watching me.
“Where did you come from?” I asked, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.
“The front door. I was out stargazing. Why are you sleeping on your throne? And why do you smell like a distillery?”
“I wasn’t asleep.”
“You were snoring, Rainbow.”
“Oh.” I hung my head. “Fluttershy and I had a really big fight.”
“That’s horrible! What happened?”
“I scared her.”
Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “That makes sense. You’re big and loud now.”
“Whose fault is that?” I growled.
Twilight looked sheepish. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I took a deep breath. “Are we cool?”
“I don’t know. Are we? I kind of took advantage of you in a vulnerable moment.” She shuffled her hooves against the arm of Fluttershy’s throne, and looked over at the empty cutie map table.
“Yeah, what was up with that?”
“Brother issues.”
“Obviously. Wanna talk about it?”
Twilight smirked wryly. “Maybe when you’re sober.”
I blinked. I didn’t feel drunk any more. Just tired, headachy, and really, really blurry. “I guess I’d better go home.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes at me. “Rainbow, you’re in no condition to fly. Why don’t you sleep here tonight?”
My ears and other parts of my anatomy stood straight up. “What? Yeah!” Then I realized that probably wasn’t what she meant. “I mean, I’m sure you’ve got a spare bedroom or six.”
Twilight slipped off her throne, and walked slowly over to me. She stood up on her hind hooves, reached up to drape her forehooves over my shoulders, and looked right into my eyes. My mouth must’ve been hanging open, because she slid her tongue right inside. Then she made a gagging noise and pushed me away.
“Ack! What’ve you been eating?!”
“Oh. Yeah. I threw up, earlier.”
Twilight wrinkled her little ski-jump nose up with disgust. “Okay, let’s go brush your teeth and give you a bath, and we’ll try this again.”
———
“We aren’t going to wake up Spike, are we, Twi?”
“Dragons are really deep sleepers. Once he’s down, he’s out — usually until nine or ten in the morning.” Twilight floated her toothbrush up and squeezed a perfect pea of blue toothpaste onto it.
Twilight’s bathtub was huge — more like a small swimming pool than a tub. I was standing in it up to my neck in bubbles, watching Twi brush her teeth. “So,” I asked cautiously, “um, can I ask a potentially sex-derailing question?”
“As long as it isn’t about my brother,” she said, spitting in the sink.
“Are we having a, uh, relationship?”
Twilight chuckled as she climbed up the marble steps to the bath. “You and Fluttershy have an open relationship, don’t you?”
I swam over to her. There was a low seat just under the water around the edge of the tub; we both curled up on it with our cheeks and necks together. “Yeah. She doesn’t take nearly as much advantage of it as I do, though.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, and rubbed her muzzle gently against mine. “Oh, imagine that.”
“It’s just… you know. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”
Twilight draped a hoof over mine and squeezed. “Rainbow, Honey. I’m the Princess of Friendship. Romantic love is Cadence’s portfolio. In fact, I’ve had an awful lot of sex, but I’ve never really had what I’d consider a lover.”
I was not having it. “Bullshit. You’ve had a lot of sex?”
Twilight nipped my ear lightly. “Rainbow, I come from Canterlot. The whole city practically bobs up and down connubially in the nighttime.”
“But you didn’t have any friends there!”
“You of all ponies should know that you don’t need to be friends with someone to have sex with them. In a lot of ways it makes it simpler if you’re not.” Twilight began to kiss me lightly along the edge of my jawline, occasionally tugging at the fluffy fur there with her teeth. “Friend sex is really nice, though.
“I used to see sex as just a tool — a way to release tension, a source of pleasure or comfort, a commodity to trade with ponies who had something I wanted. Now, I don’t know what to think. The last five years have been too busy for me to look for a lover even if I wanted one. Which I’m not sure I do. There’s only ever been one colt that I cared for, and he’s unavailable for a variety of reasons.”
I tilted my head back sensually as she nuzzled along the tendons of my neck. “What about that guard from a while back? Brash Entry, or something?”
Twilight bit the side of my neck hard. “Ugh, don’t even mention him, ever again.” She lifted a hooftowel over to me with her magic and slid off the bench, then walked over to a raised area near the middle of the tub, where she could stand with most of her body above water. “Rub me down?”
I took the small towel in my mouth, dipped it in the water, and then lifted it over her back. I watched the water and bubbles roll down the smooth curve of her flanks. I ran it down over her shoulder, and along her ribs and under her belly. I followed the bubbles with the hooftowel, which she enjoyed until I got to her plump little stomach.
“Eeeeek! Tickles!” she yelped, hopping away from me. I snapped the little hooftowel at her rump — there wasn’t a lot of force behind the blow, but it still made that magnificent plot jiggle.
“Hey, let me show you something,” I said, transferring the towel from my mouth to my hoof.
Twilight stepped backwards, horn glowing warningly. “No tickles?”
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Now spread your wings.”
I ran the towel gently over the leading edge of Twilight’s wing, gently cleaning the short feathers there. Twilight shivered, and flexed the powerful muscles of her wing’s biceps. “Oh, Rainbow…”
I chuckled, impressed with her muscle growth. When she’d first gotten her wings, they were as soft and bony as a foal’s foreleg — even weaker than Fluttershy’s wings. “You’ve been working out. I’m impressed.” I dropped the hooftowel into the bath and began grooming her wings with my mouth. I ran my tongue through the short feathers — such a different texture from fur or skin. Soft, at least in the short feathers on the muscular part of the wing, but with a wiry stiffness that tickled my lips. I pushed my tongue through the feathers so I could feel the skin beneath.
Twilight’s sides heaved with shuddering breaths. Her wings were stretched out stiff, her limbs locked still. “Please be careful,” she whispered nervously.
I rubbed the bridge of my muzzle against the underside of her wing, gently stroking the hollow of her wingpit with my cheek. “Number one rule of being a pegasus, Twi — never do anything to hurt or endanger another pegasus’ wings.” I took a fold of feathered skin in my teeth and pinched it gently, making her gasp. “But sometimes it’s okay to scare each other a little.”
Twi shivered powerfully from withers to rump. “I… I think we need to get in bed.”
We left the tub filled, pausing only long enough to towel off before galloping for her bedroom. Twilight leapt onto the bed ahead of me and rolled onto her back, wings spread and legs held up playfully. I slid up against her side and set to work on her left wing. The fleshy part of the wing is much smaller than you’d think — the stiffness of the primary and secondary feathers give the illusion of more bulk than is actually there. The wing itself is thin at the tip, delicate, gradually thickening towards the base, where large muscle groups anchor it to the shoulder. I followed the curve with kisses down to her wingpit, then kissed over the keel of her chest, and climbed across her barrel to the other side.
“It feels so good, but I’m scared,” whispered Twilight. “You told me bones and tendons of the wing are very delicate. I only just got my wings. I don’t know if I could bear to have them hurt.”
“That’s one of the reasons they’re so much fun to play with,” I said, ruffling her wingpit feathers with my nose. “The fear gives it spice.”
Twilight pulled her wings in abruptly, and rolled over onto her side. “Oh, wait, wait, I just thought of an analogy!” She rubbed my rib cage roughly. “Quick, sit on my face and call me ‘Twily’.”
“Is this another one of your experiments, Twi? Because those haven’t been working out for me too well lately.”
Twilight laughed, and rolled back onto her back again. “No, I’ve done this before. Get your plot up here.”
Twilight guided me up so that I was kneeling on my gaskins over her muzzle, my back hooves resting against her shoulders. “You ready for this, PBBBFF?” she asked
“I don’t know, because I’m not sure what you’re going to do to me. Also, PBBBFF?” I looked down at her lovely round face. She’d always seemed so innocent, so the sight of her grinning up at the big blue blue cock bobbing over her face filled me with lust.
“Pseudo-Big Brother Best Friend Forever. Not explaining any more. Need my mouth for other things.”
“Twi, you… Oh, hey!” Twilight had wrapped her full, dark purple lips around one of my balls and sucked it all the way into her mouth. My thighs shuddered, and I arched my back in pleasure and surprise. “Tea-bagging. I should have guessed. Mgh, Twilight, you are a filthy, filthy filly.”
“Role-play, please,” she said, breaking her suction with a wet smack.
“Fine, fine. So, um, ‘Suck my balls, Twily’?”
Twilight grunted, apparently not impressed with my acting abilities, but opened her mouth wide for me. To make it a proper tea-bagging, I needed to be in control, so I lowered my hips slowly down, pinning her to the bed and filling her mouth with my smooth blue sack.
“Mmmmgh,” moaned Twi, hooves rising up to caress the hard curves of my ass. It was a pretty little mouth, barely a fit for one of my balls. It was hot, and wet, and wonderful. Her sharp little teeth rubbed against the skin of my sack — I saw her analogy with the wings now. The fear was very much the same, especially since my balls were even newer than Twi’s wings.
“Do you like the way that tastes, Twily?” I groaned, making another shot at getting into my role.
“Mgggh hhmmmm!” she replied around her mouthful of balls. I chuckled. I have to admit I got an evil thrill out of hearing that nagging, lecturing voice stopped up by my sack. I mean, I love… I mean, really like Twi. But she sure does get bossy sometimes.
“What was that, LSBWF?” I asked, lifting my balls an inch or two out of her mouth.
“LSBF What?” She had to tilt her head to one side to get a good look at me around my cock.
“Little Sister Biggest Whore Forever,” I answered, lowering my ballsack back into her mouth.
“Rainbow, I don’t think that’s… ngggghf!” Her protest was cut off into spitting incoherence as my right nut filled her mouth to capacity.
“That’s Shining to you, Twily.” I reached down to hold her by her cheeks, and began dipping myself up and down, sliding my balls out into her open mouth. “Don’t go calling me by somepony else’s name — you wouldn’t want your BBBFF to find out what a slut you’ve been behind his back, would you?” I shifted myself up again, dragging my balls out of her mouth with a wet pop so that she could answer.
“No, Shining. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me,” she whimpered, actually sounding earnestly remorseful. She was so cute!
“Well, I don’t know,” I rumbled. “That was pretty naughty of you. What am I to you, anyway?”
“Y-you’re my BBBFF,” Twi whispered, big dark purple eyes staring up at me.
I slid back, my soaking wet balls leaving a slimy trail of spit across her chest fur. “And what does that stand for, LSBWF?”
Twilight blushed. “Um, Big Brother Best Fuck Forever?”
“That’s right. Open wide.” She opened her little mouth with a big, sweet-sounding “Ahhhhhhhh!”, and I plugged it right up with the flare of my dick. I leaned against the headboard, and began pumping my hips, moving my flare back and forth over her tongue. She placed her hooves on my thighs, so that she could control the depth and speed of my thrusting. I watched my dick sliding against her lips, pushing them up against her teeth with every thrust, and pulling them out poutily when I pulled back. I lost myself in the sensation of her sweet, wet mouth rubbing against the end of my cock. She kept eye contact with me the whole time, submissive but perfectly confident. She was an amazing lay, and she knew it.
“Oh, Twily, your mouth is so… so… Ah, oh, fuck no!” I yanked my cock out of her mouth, splashing drool across her neck and chest, desperately willing myself not to shoot. Twi was on the ball — her horn glowed, and I felt a strange, not unpleasant clamping sensation around my balls and the base of my dick. I sat on her belly, gasping, trembling, as the need to come slowly cooled down.
Twi clucked. “We have got to do something about that hair trigger of yours, BBBFF.”
“It’s cool. I’m cool. I’m okay.”
“Hmmmm. We’d better do me before it’s too late.” She fluttered her eyelashes at me and wiggled her back legs, bumping my hips with her gaskins. “LSBWF needs her pussy licked.”
“Only too happy to help.” I slid back down her body, kissing lightly over the ample curve of her belly. I nuzzled through her fur until I got to the slightly thicker and longer puff over her sex. I ran my tongue through her luxuriant pussy fur and inhaled deeply, filling my nose with her musk. I dipped my tongue down, caressing her lips and tasting her pungent mare goo.
“Oh, Shining!” Twilight’s hips shuddered and she locked her back legs around my head, holding me in a perfect prison of plump, jiggly flesh. I dug my tongue into her pussy, caressing the insides of her tunnel. My soft nose ground against her delicate little clit. I hooked my hooves around her thighs, pulling myself close so that I could fuck her with my tongue. She ground her pussy against me, hips gyrating wickedly. A few minutes of that, and Twi came, her back arching, her whole body trembling.
We pulled apart, both gasping — her from exertion, me from lack of oxygen. Twilight was sweaty, her usually razor-neat mane in disarray.
“And how was that, Sis?” I asked, licking the taste of her pussy from my lips. “Did you…. Aaaah!”
Twilight’s horn glowed bright purple, and I felt magic wrapping around my dick and the dock of my tail. “Inside me. Now!” she snarled, and yanked me into her. My gaskins found purchase on the bed, and I slammed my cock into her cunt as roughly as I could. Her head smacked the headboard with a hollow thump, and she put her hooves up to stop me from pushing her across the bed.
I leaned down towards her open mouth, sliding my tongue against hers as we rutted. I don’t kiss lightly. Sex is just sex. Kissing is… oh, I don’t like using the ‘L’ word, but kissing is love. Friend love, in this case, but it’s love just the same.
I’d like to say we fucked for long, sweaty, athletic hours, but really I was ready to come again in a few minutes. I tried to pull out, but Twilight wrapped her hind legs around me, holding me in as I spurted inside of her.
“Oh, Twi… Twi! Twi!” I flushed as my orgasm’s heat cooled, realizing I’d gone out of character. “I mean, uh, Twily.”
“It’s okay. We can be ourselves again.” She stroked my forelock out of my eyes, smiling gently up at me.
I slid off of her and snuggled up against her side. I felt calm, and safe, and… sad. I felt really sad.
“What’s the matter, honey?” asked Twilight, sensing that something was wrong.
“I miss Fluttershy.” My voice cracked a little as I spoke.
“Don’t worry, about it, Rainbow. I’m sure you just freaked her out. It’s not like that’s hard to do. I’ll talk to her in the morning and see if we can get you two together to talk things out.” She patted me on the shoulder. She looked tired. What time was it? It must be early morning by now.
“I pushed for sex. I shouldn’t have pushed. We’ve always had trouble about sex. The sex is great, amazing, but she doesn’t want it anywhere near as often as I do. I shouldn’t have pushed, but I was…”
“You’re just a pony. You make mistakes from time to time.” Twi yawned. Her eyes fluttered closed. “Everypony makes mistakes. Friendship lesson #1,789. Anyway, if she doesn’t want to have sex with colt-you? She’s out of her mind.”
I laughed and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re a good friend.”
“I’d better be. It’s kind of my… kind of my job. Thing. Rainbow, could you move the banana tree, it’s blocking my… my chariot…” And then she started snoring.
Which is when I remembered about those strange hallucinations I’d had while I was with Vinyl and Tavi last night. I’d meant to ask her, but it was too late now. Oh well. Probably not a big deal, anyway.
My stomach rumbled. I’d polished off the last bottle of ketchup in my fridge when I’d gotten home this morning, and gulped down a hayburger on the way back to work after my haircut, and that had been it. I hadn’t eaten since noon, which was probably technically yesterday, at this point.
Luckily, Spike knows how to stock a kitchen.
There was a box of fresh clementines on one of the big stone prep tables. I ate all of those, not even stopping to take off the skins until the twelfth one in. Dry storage had a whole shelf of those spicy potato crisp things Spike likes. I didn’t think he’d miss the three bags I ate. I washed it down with a couple of warm juice boxes and was heading for the walk-in refrigerator to see if they had any cold ones when I heard hoofsteps and voices somewhere upstairs.
I crept up the nearest staircase towards the voices, moving slowly. It sounded like a mare and a stallion, talking intently about something. They didn’t sound like thieves, or at least they weren’t making any attempt to be quiet. What were they saying?
“So are your, um... you know, your mare, um, parts feeling better?” That was the stallion’s voice.
“Oh, yeah! That potion you gave me fixed ‘em right up, Doc!” The mare’s voice. There was something familiar about it, but I couldn’t place it. “I took the new booty out for a shakedown flight last night. Amazing results. A good time was had by all.”
“Rainbow! You can’t do that! It’s not your body!”
I narrowed my eyes. Rainbow? Okay, this was really weird.
“Oh, don’t be such a stick in the mud, Dusk. Do you think whoever stole my body is using it to mow the lawn and pick up groceries?” The mare’s voice was harsh, high pitched and raspy. I cringed. Was that really what I sounded like?
The voices sounded like they were right next to me. I could hear hoofsteps on the stone, but I couldn’t see anything. “Um, hello?” I said turning around in a slow circle. “Is this, like a haunting, or am I going crazy, or hearing the future, or what?”
The voices were silent for a second. Then I heard the mare again. “Um, Dusk? What was that?”
A faint purple glow suffused the hallway, and then I could see them, as if through a torn curtain. One was a pudgy, handsome, overly earnest-looking alicorn stallion, with the exact same coloration and cutie mark as Twi. I’d never seen an alicorn stallion before; I didn’t know they even made those. The other one was me. Filly me! Original flavor! I’d never gotten such a good look at my ass before. Was it really that big? I whistled — I was amazingly hot.
“Hey,” I said, stepping forward, “I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m Rainbow Dash, and…” I brought my hoof down, and there was nothing there. I fell through the floor, and into darkness.
Everything was gone. There was no up, no down. My wings flapped uselessly — there was nothing for them to beat against. I couldn’t breathe. It was so silent my ears rang. I was screaming, but I couldn’t hear my voice. I could see myself, but I was glowing dimmer every second. Soon I would lose sight of myself, and then maybe there would be nothing else, forever and ever.
But I was wrong about everything being gone. There was something moving in the darkness, hard and segmented and slimy, probing at my body. The darkness had found me, and it was hungry.
Then there was light, and the thing was gone. I felt legs wrap around me. There was a sensation like breaking the surface of water, and I was surrounded by light, and warmth, and the sound of Twilight sobbing. I found her body, and wrapped my forelegs around her. She was bruised, and bloody, and I could see rubble around us from where she’d blasted through the walls of her castle to reach me. Behind me, the tear in the air that I’d stepped through was still there, but the other ponies were gone. There was only darkness, and a faint sound of air being sucked into it. As I looked, I realized there was movement in the darkness — it was crawling, like ants on rotten fruit. Twilight’s horn glowed again, and the tear slammed shut.
I buried my face against Twilight’s chest and cried.