7 Human in Ponyland

by shiftylookingcow

Chapter 16: The School Talent Show

-Xavier's POV-

-Recap-

There were several things I've learned since I've learned about the cockatrice. One. They use magic to turn anypony or creature born with magic that looks into its eyes into stone. Lucky for Jack's youngest little brother and the rest of us humans, we're immune. The magic goes right through us like B1 Droids go through Gungan shields. Two, whenever Twilight ventures out into the Everfree, go with her and stay with her. Three, the kids are older and smart enough to pick things up from their older siblings, both good and bad habits.

Speaking of kids, they're still grounded. Haven't touched the Wii U or any of the movies in about a bit over a week. Big Mac even gave the idea to let them work off their punishment on the farm. Yeah, I do know how much Brianna hates hard manual labor, so I took them on it. Yeah, they were pouting at us about how unfair it was and why Apple Bloom and the other crusaders weren't grounded. Simply put, since Jack's and our parents weren't here, this meant we're their guardians. I explained to them that the other crusaders aren't under our rule and whatever issues they have will be dealt with by their parents/guardians. Although that did bring up the question in my head. The other kids involved got off Scott-free, almost as if their parents/guardians didn't know about them sneaking off into the Everfree. I thought about telling Applejack and Rarity about it, but Fluttershy had told me not to tell them and took the blame for not keeping a closer eye on them. Well, she's free to take the blame for the fillies. At least I won't have to talk to Rarity.

Last Friday was Twilight's birthday. I didn't really know until Pinkie told me that morning. She was wondering "What kind of a coltfriend wouldn't know his mare's birthday?" I was thinking the same thing. Twilight never told me when her birthday was. Rainbow's is near the end of this month. She told me on my birthday. I guess it never came up in conversation. I spent most of the day with her, buying her lunch and walking by the stalls and seeing what she may like or want for her birthday. Last minute shopping is always a hassle, but this is the best way to do so I guess. Even back on Earth, I wasn't too much of a fan of going to malls and shopping places unless we stopped by an Electronic Boutique or a Gamestop. Either that or if there were to be a sale on hoodies. I've heard from my brother's colleagues back on Earth that going shopping with women is terrible. Unlike men, who goes to where they need to go, get what they need to get, and get out, women love to inspect every atom of everything in all areas and stores before leaving. I was now starting to get what the meant while going through the town bazaar. I so wanted to ditch, but this was her special day, so I just strung along. I guess I was reminded that she was still a woman, although her adorkable nerdiness makes me forget that at times. Well, she's still a mare.

When she finally left it was getting dark. On the way back, she was talking about the science of magic and all that stuff, but I was brain dead since the 'little' window 'shopping' spree (she didn't buy anything). I had managed to keep hidden everything I saw her looking at (mostly books) in a bag that I bought. When we got to the library, she thanked me for spending the day with her. I was mentally exhausted all day trying to play a game inside of my head to keep myself occupied. I wish I remembered to charge my 3DS last night.... I was glad it was over. I was thinking: Okay. Go in, drop her stuff off, go home, hit the sack.

NOPE!!!

"SURPRISE!!!"

I should've known. Pinkie and her parties. god DAMMIT!!! I should've seen it coming. Why didn't I? It was Pinkie who told me it was her birthday in the first place. And she had me out all day keeping her distracted while she set everything up. Why didn't I see it coming?! Oh right. I was brain dead. My mind was elsewhere. For Twilight's sake, because I loved her, I faked a mask and participated in the activities. Her friends were there, and so was Jack and surprisingly Hiroto. It was fun, or it would've been had I not been hiding my exhaustion and the current growing headache.

To my relief, everyone started going home. I was about to step out when Twilight stopped me. She wanted me to stay for the night. Either she could sense how tired I was, or she just wanted me with her. I didn't really care. I said I'd stay the night. I ended up staying the weekend because why not?

The weekend was uneventful anyway. The ponies didn't really have much for me to do. Vinyl Scratch needed a new coffee table because hers ended up getting broke from a house party she threw. I managed to make a round 'disc' shaped table for her and painted it to look like a record. Thank you art class. She thought it was cool that I did it and even payed me a tip. She asked how my bro was doing. I guess I forgot that Trae is seeing her a lot. She told me that he introduced her to his mp3 player and some of his music. In return, she had him listen to some of hers. Bro's not really all that into dubstep. He doesn't hate it but he doesn't feel too strong about it either. Me on the other hand, I'm all for it. I spent the rest of the weekend with Twilight and Spike, as promised. I assume that was her birthday wish. Nah. It's probably something like never failing a test ever or something.

-Recap Over-

I was staring at my list of things to do. Ponies were really needy today. Xavier is still at the Library with his 2nd mare. Here was the list.

Dr. Whooves: Door repair

Lyra Heartstrings: Chair broke again and I didn't do it intentionally for once.

Twilight Sparkle: Help at the library

Roseluck: Need help carrying fertilizer.

BonBon: Moving furniture.

Octavia Melody: Soundproofing Vinyl's room.

Applejack: Help on the farm.

You know, these all seem time consuming, and I notice Xavier's been slacking off to hang out with his girls. Trae hasn't been doing much either. It's about time for them to pick up the slack and get to know the ponies better. So I wrote a note saying I was only going to help Applejack with the farm.

Speak of, the devil, she was just coming to the house with three ponies in tow. It's been a while since she came just to visit.

"Howdy hun."

"Hey Applebabe. Here to pick up the kids?"

"Ya got it, but for a different reason. You can come with if ya want. Ah just wanna show 'em somethin'."

"I have time. I was on my way to help you out on the farm anyway. If anything, to spend some time with my special girl." I grinned at her.

She blushed. "Yeah Ah've been hopin' to spend some more time with my special somehuman."

"That's what you're calling it?"

"Ehem!" We were reminded by Apple Bloom that there were three fillies waiting for their two human members.

"Oh right." I guess the two little siblings have learned their lesson. I turned back to the house. "Jonathan! Bri Bri! Get ready to go to Applejack's! Your friends are here!"

They came down almost instantly. I continued.

"After thinking it over, I think you've learned your lessons. You can play with your friends at AJ's."

"YESSSS!!!" They both said.

We followed Applejack to Sweet Apple Acres. We weren't going to the barn however. We were headed a bit past it to Applejack's old treehouse. It didn't look like it was kept in good condition, however, she was giving it to them as it was.

"Uh, AJ, do you think giving them a structure to play in in this condition is a good idea? It seems... hazardous."

"Ah don't you worry 'bout a thing. I'm sure they'll be fine n' dandy with their new treehouse." I wasn't buying it.

"Uh, well, I still don't think it's safe for the little ones yet. Just let me fix it up a bit so it's atleast stable."

"Ah said they'll be fine."

"AJ, a pebble can bring this shack down. I don't know much about carpentry, but I'm not letting my bro near this deathtrap."

"Excuse me?!" She glared at me.

Uh oh. She's giving me that look. Gotta think of a way to convince AJ to fix the treehouse.

"Well, I was thinking," I started, "Since we hardly ever spend any time together, maybe you and I could you know, make this a little project for you me and the kids." I leaned in close to her ear. "Unless they're not around, it would just be the two of us alone."

This caused her to blush. "Ah darnit! Ya ain't playin fair."

Nailed it, Aced it, Can't be stopped!

I left AJ to make measurements on the tree house while I went off to get the wood because the Apples were out of it. The store owners gave me a cart to pull. That would've been fine....

...if I were a pony. I was struggling with the cart of wood. Then I came across Jeff.

"Hey you!" He greeted. "You're embarrassin' yourself in front of the pansy ponies!"

"Yes I don't mind if you help at all, anus!" I retorted

"Yeah yeah, I'll show ya how a real man pulls a carriage!" The dude took the carriage harness and pulled it towards the edge of town.

"Jeff!" I called out. He wasn't listening. He just kept pulling, trying to show off how strong he is to everyone. I facepalmed. Strong, yes. Stupid, yes. He was going the wrong way. I followed him until he started slowing down near the opposite edge of town.

"Now that's how a man pulls a carriage!" He said in between breaths.

"Cool, but can you do it again? You know, this time going the direction I was headed? To Sweet Apple Acres."

Jeff paused for a moment. "O-Of course I can! Why d-didn't you say so sooner?!" With that, he took the carriage full of wooden planks and dashed off. To mess with him, I hitched a ride. When we finally made it to Sweet Apple Acres, he collapsed and rolled over on his back. "Here we are!" he said after wheezing.

He was done, but I'm gonna mess with him a little bit more.

"I didn't say where on Sweet Apple Acres. It's actually all the way on the opposite edge of the orchard." I said, grinning.

"GODDAMMIT!!!"

"I'm teasin ya dude. I'll take it from here." I picked up the carriage and left him there to recollect himself. When I reached the tree house, I found Apple Bloom replacing the old wood for the walls and Applejack trying to reinforce the roof. She wasn't doing a good job. On the more important note, that roof looks like it's about to-

"WOAH NELLY!!!" Applejack screamed out when she fell through the roof. "DAGNABBIT DAMMIT!!!"

"You alright there, AJ?"

"Jack? Yeah, Ah'm fine. Just peachy."

"I thought you were all for apples, not peaches. I'm gonna call you Peachyjack now." Apple Bloom laughed a bit.

"Just grab a hammer and help already." she commanded. I did as told and this time I went on the roof. Not once did I fall through because I was smart about it because not only did I wait until AB finished replacing the posts, but I had also hung around the more stable edges instead of in the unstable middle of the roof. It was easier to replace the worn wood and add in the shingles. I think I've ran and jumped on enough roofs to know how to put one together.

We were almost done with it when Apple Bloom went off and came with the paint to start painting their new crusader hideout. Considering my height, AJ asked me to help her with the roof and with other places out of reach. When we were nearly done, all that was left was the floor to be painted. Apple Bloom said she could handle it though. Probably for the better. Less paint on my shoes, the better. I went back to the barn to find Applejack putting the tools away.

"Thank ya kindly fer helpin' with the clubhouse."

"No problem. It was just another excuse to see you again."

She giggled as I scratched behind her ears. We sat there for a little while before going to check up on Apple Bloom to see how she was doing. We were approaching the newly colored tree house when we started hearing singing.

"They all say that you will get your mark when the time is really right" It was most likely one of the fillies.

"And you know just what you're supposed to do" Definitely the fillies.

"And your talent comes to light!" Okay, no offense, but that third filly needs practice.

While AJ stuck her head into the window, I notice my little bro was standing by a tree staring at the tree house. He didn't look too happy, so I went over there to see what was going on.

"Hey lil bro."

He looked at me and then back at the tree house.

"Something botherin ya?"

"The tree house..."

"What about it?"

"It looks too girly for me!" he whined.

I chuckled a bit.

"It's NOT FUNNY!" he pouted.

"It kinda is. Look around you. We're in a land full of colorful magical talking and flying ponies ruled by a princess. This entire world is girly by our standards. Our house is the only non-girly house in Ponyville, and maybe even in all of Equestria." I tried to explain.

"But it looks like a girl's clubhouse.."

"Well, if you're talking about the paint, maybe you could've helped out with the paint. Don't worry. I'm sure no one'll think different of you by going in there and hanging out with your friends." I said, patting his head.

"Okay but if I get laughed at, you owe me ice cream!"

"Fine." With that, he went to join his friends in the Cutie Mark Crusader's clubhouse.

AJ told me that it was about time for her to get back to work, so we kissed and said our 'see ya later's and went our separate ways. Since I had absolutely nothing else to do, I had decided to help Bon Bon move her furniture. One less Xavier will have to worry about. I also had to deal with Lyra and her shenanigans. You know, when ya get past her crazy obsessive side, she's actually pretty nice. Although I did have to tell her to get rid of those 7 collars I found in her room before she scares the kids, make Xavier and Trae uncomfortable around her, and murdered by Jeff. After Bon Bon apologized on her behalf, and after the disposal of those collars, I had left.

I decided to stop by the library to talk to Xavier because I figured that's where he'd be. With his second mare. On the way there, I walked by a cream colored mare with a light purple tail and a Guinea-flag-colored fro for a mane. Wait... That's the mare I met at lunch the other day!

"Vera?!"

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!" she cried and zoomed off.

I thought it was a mistake under the influence of alcohol, or she was on the wrong end of a bet.

Anywhoozle, when I got to the library, the door opened with the five crusaders running and galloping out. I stood there to stare at them for a moment before continuing to the library. Xavier was there along with Spike, Twilight, and Miss Cheerilee.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"They're joining a school talent show tonight." Xavier explained.

"Ah. Sounds fun."

Miss Cheerilee stepped towards me."You must be Jonathan and Hiroto's older brother. I'm Miss Cheerilee." She introduced herself.

"I know who you are. You're the only teacher in town, and Hiroto gave a very good drawing of you on his school notes." I grinned at her.

"H-he drew me?!?" Cheerilee stuttered.

"Yeah. Great manga artist."

"What's a manga?" Twilight asked.

I let out a sigh. "It's better to show it to you than to try to explain it. And I'm too lazy to do it."

"He... drew me?! In class?!?" Cheerilee started getting nervous. I saw this and decided to take the chance to feed.

"Yup. About a few months ago. He captured all of your features. He captured your rear decently. Gotta say, I might take you home with me one day." I was holding in my laughter as much as I can.

"Oh...my..." Cheerilee's head was red as a cherry. She looked very uncomfortable.

"Jack, stop it!" Twilight interfered. She turned to Cheerilee. "I'm so sorry Miss Cheerilee. Jack likes to joke a lot. Sometimes too much." She turned to glare at me.

"Heh. Yeah. He only drew your good side."

"JACK!" Twilight raised her voice.

"No joke."

"Ugh!!!"

"What?" I was really being honest. She needs to lighten up. "It's far from a dirty drawing."

This seemed to rest Cheerilee's unease. "Oh. Good. That's okay then. Heheheh. As long as I keep my clean image."

I can't help it. "Well. I can always tell him to draw a hentai of you."

"Hentai?" Twilight asked.

"Anime porn."

"OH MY CELESTIA, JACK!!!" Twilight screamed. I was too busy laughing on the floor at Cheerilee's reaction. "This is enough!"

"I'm sorry! I really am! Sorry Miss Cheerio. My inner troll hadn't been fed in months. I'll stop for real this time. He just drew a clean picture of you. Heck, if you want, you can have it to hang somewhere."

"That sounds nice, but please talk to him about drawing somepony without them knowing." Cheerilee asked.

"Fine." I made note to talk to Hiroto about it later.

After a while, I had left for home. On the way, I had ran into Jeff whose muscles were still sore from carrying all that wood for miles. I could tell because of the look on his face.

"Get a good workout this morning?" I asked while grinning.

"Shove it where the sun don't shine!"

He mad. Probably because Rarity was following behind him trying to get him to go to the spa with her for his arms. Speaking of which, she looked a bit stressed herself. Jeff and I went home with Rarity following us. There was nothing else to do for the three of us. Xavier was either in his room asleep or somewhere helping a pony. It didn't mean that Rarity was still on edge about seeing him. Hiroto wasn't home. Strange, I haven't seen him all day.

"Jeff, Rarity, have either of you seen Hiroto?"

"Nope."

"I think I saw him with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon at the park." Rarity stated. "Why?"

"Because I haven't seen him all day, and I wanted to talk to him about drawing people in class. He's actually pretty good." I told her about him drawing Miss Cheerilee in class while she didn't notice. Rarity was interested.

"Well, I had no idea he was such an artist. Maybe he can draw me a self portrait I could put somewhere."

"You'll have to ask him."

We sat there in silence, Jeff falling asleep on the couch as a result. Rarity broke the silence.

"Well, I think it's about time that I went on my way. I need to make sure Sweetie Bell doesn't take anything else from my boutique."

"Sure. See ya later."

Rarity left with haste. I knew why she really left. She didn't want to be there when Xavier got back or woke up. I didn't really care though. That's an issue for a later time. I heard the talent show would be at night on the way back here. I decided to take a nap until then.

Or so I wanted to. I was awakened by violent shaking.

"Jack Jack Jack Jack!!!"

"What what what?!" I opened my eyes to see Jonathan shaking me.

"I need bits! I need bits!"

"For what?"

"Smoke pellets for the talent show!"

"How much.."

"5 bits!"

I reached into my pants pocket and pulled out five bits I earned from today. I handed it to him.

"Thanks bro!" He ran out the house. I heard the crusaders cheering. Bri came in the house and rushed upstairs. I'm guessing to her room. She came back down with her mp3 player, manga, and a cleaners bag with a jack-o-lantern on it. I was too tired to question it. I went back to sleep.

I woke up again to Xavier tapping my shoulder.

"You do plan on going to the talent show, right? You're late."

We were all back stage. We had almost everything ready. This is going to be SO EXCITING! Scootaloo turned to Jonathan.

"After this, can we see this ani-may?" She asked.

"SURE!!! IT'S AWESOME! I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE DOING THIS!"

Snips and Snails had just finished their act and now it was time for Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie's performance.

"My little crusaders! How are you doing?" Twilight asked as she walked up to us.

"Nervous!" The ponies said in unison.

"EXCITED!!!" Jonathan said.

"Meh." I played it cool. I had my outfit on.

"Don't worry. You're gonna be amazing." She reassured us.

"I KNOW!!" Jonathan squealed.

"See? Jonathan's excited. I can't wait to see what..." She finally noticed what we were wearing. "...your performance will be."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were going to sing their theme song, but it still needed a lot of work if it was going to be epic. So instead, I had introduced them to The Amazing World of Manga. Apple Bloom wanted to stick with something that defined us, but Scootaloo was interested. Even Sweetie Bell sided with us saying that the song needed a lot of work too. It also went perfectly with AB's idea for kung fu dancing. So we got everything! Went to Rarity's to make costumes, I still had Jack's Halloween costume from last year in my room. That saved a lot of time, so we just made costumes for me and the fillies. Jonathan got smoke pellets from some place but that makes it all the more perfect!

"We're gonna blow this joint out of the water!!!" Jonathan said.

Miss Cheerilee told us we were up next. I'm glad Jack and I saw enough of this anime's opening to know the lyrics.

So there we were. Me, Jack, AJ, and the rest of our friends, waiting for the crusaders to come on out to perform. We were waiting until smoke filled the stage. We couldn't see anything for a moment until the smoke cleared up. Then the music started.

...I facepalmed so hard when it cleared up. A large cardboard nine-tailed fox was right behind them. Jonathan dressed as Naruto, Bri had her hair styled like Sakura, Sweetie Bell dressed as Hinata, Apple Bloom like Tenten, and Scoots as Ino.

Jonathan and Bri started singing, dancing while playing their air-guitar.

"WE ARE FIGHTING DREAMAHS!

Takami wo mezashite

FIGHTING DREAMAHS!

Narifuri kamawazu.

FIGHTING DREAMAHS

Shinjiru ga mama ni

Oli Oli Oli Oh just go my way!"

OF COURSE!! I SHOULD'VE SEEN THIS!! WHY DIDN'T I SEE THIS?!? I was grabbing my face with one hand. The 6 friends couldn't really understand half of the words. Twilight and Applejack had one eyebrow raised while Jack was laughing at my reaction. Rainbow and Pinkie were enjoying it. Fluttershy was smiling. I guess she's looking at Brianna having fun on stage. Rarity seemed like she was trying to figure it all out. The fillies were background dance-fighting. Jonathan had the solo rap part.

"RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BANG!

BUPPANASE LIKE A DANGAN LINER!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BURN!

BUTTAKITTEKU ZE GET THE FIRE!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BANG!

BUPPANASE LIKE A DANGAN LINER!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BURN!"

After the fillies stopped 'bang'ing and 'burn'ing, Bri starting singing.

"Kewashii shura no michi no naka hito no chizu wo hirogete doko e yuku

Gokusaishoku no karasu ga sore wo ubaitotte yaburisuteta

Sa-a kokoro no me mihiraite shika to ima wo mikiwamero. YE-EAH!

Ushinau mono nante nai sa iza mairou"

Then both of the human kids were singing.

"WE ARE FIGHTING DREAMAHS!

Takami wo mezashite

FIGHTING DREAMAHS

Nari furi kamawazu

FIGHTING DREAMAHS

Shinjiru ga mama ni

Oli oli oli oh just go my way!"

Jonathan's turn again.

"RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BANG!

BUPPANASE LIKE A DANGAN LINER!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BURN!

BUTTAKITTEKU ZE GET THE FIRE!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BANG!

BUPPANASE LIKE A DANGAN LINER!

RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! BURN!

BUTTAKITTEK ZE GET THE FIRE!"

"BAM!!"

And that was the end of it. I turned to Jack.

"Maybe we shouldn't have watched Naruto so much with them."

"Nah! I thought they were great!" he replied.

Everyone applauded. Sure I doubt they understood over half of the lyrics, but uh, they seem to really enjoy the mood of the song. Great. And now there are going to be pony weeabos. What have I done? I should've seen it coming. I like anime as much as the next person, but... I guess what's important is that they had fun. Of course Appejack and Rarity were looking at Jack and I as if expecting answers to what fad our little siblings have introduced them to and what language they were speaking.

Jack leaned down towards Twilight. "Remember when I told you about manga? Our little siblings love it."

I continued. "And most of the lyrics is in Japanese. A language in which even I need subtitles to understand."

Cheerilee and the other performers took the stage. "Let's hear it for our talented fillies and colts!"

Hooves were stomping with two pairs of hands clapping before the teacher went on.

"First award goes to the Cutie Mark Crusaders for their unique and amazing performance!"

"WE WON! WE WON WE WON WE WON!!" Jonathan jumped around, making it really hard for Cheerilee to give him a medal. The five received medals shaped as music notes.

Guess all that nerding out with weeabo-ness payed off.

"Second reward goes to Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie for the best dramatic performance!"

The two fillies on skates went up to get their prized medals.

Snips and Snails won the last medal for their... magic... Maybe now they understand what performing actually is.

Jack and I were walking our little siblings home after the rewards were handed out. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came along with us. Poor Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Seems like Hiroto took his loss pretty well. Jack and I were late so we didn't really see their performance. Or so we thought. As it turns out, they dropped out of the competition. Hiroto was going to introduce a new contraption for nerds to play with (mini quad copter that ran on magic energy) but he didn't have enough time to finish it. Diamond Tiara, wanting to beat the crusaders so bad, urged him to test it out anyway and it ended up falling apart. Diamond Tiara looked pretty embarrassed on stage, smiling sheepishly at a slightly un-amused teen. It didn't seem like he was too mad at her though. He pat her head a bit on the way home.

The three winning fillies were in our group too, following their two human members. They wanted to rub their prizes into DT and SS's faces, but I told them that it'd be unbecoming of them to do so, and that they were better than that. I can understand how they'd be your rivals, but sheesh, have some respect. For once, AJ agreed with me and told AB to be sportsmanlike, in pony vocabulary of course. It seems with Hiroto, Brianna, and Jonathan on both sides of the feud, there's less tension between the two juvenile groups. Diamond Tiara still stayed away from Brianna though. Still, everyone was walking home with smiles on their faces, even after we parted to our respective homes (except Dashie, who went to escort Scootaloo to her home.)

It was a relatively good night after a busy day.