Dearest Twilight Sparkle,
I am writing today not in the role of your mentor, but as a grateful ruler. You and your friends have saved the sun itself when you banished Nightmare Moon on Begins Night, and therefore I feel I owe you my deepest personal thanks. Now I hear that as a new Masked Pony, you have already saved the good citizens of Ponyville from two dopants, and relieved these poor souls of the Gaia Memories which tainted their hearts and drove them off the path of sanity.
In recognition of your bravery, you – as the Champion of Harmony – are invited to attend the Grand Galloping Gala where the nobles of all Equestria can properly pay their respects to our newest hero. On this occasion, the Gala’s main event will take the form of a masked ball, and I therefore expect that you will be fully capable of keeping your identities secret if you should so desire.
“And then there’s just the details from the bureaucrats, tickets are non-transferrable, let us know a week in advance if you’re going to cancel, all that stuff.” Spike shrugged and threw the missive towards Twilight Sparkle, who neatly rolled it up and placed it on the shelf with all the others. She would have asked him to do it, he was responsible for receiving her mail after all, but the young dragon still hadn’t mastered the art of shelving scrolls without damaging the corners. Twilight always did her best to keep her letters from Princess Celestia in immaculate condition, wondering if some day they would be valuable documents revered by historians.
“Can you look after the tickets, Spike?” she didn’t need to wait for an answer. There was no assistant more loyal than a baby dragon, and Spike had been with her since was first hatched, “I’ve got a busy day ahead, and –”
“You mean the ticket?” Spike interrupted.
“Isn’t that what I said?”
“No, you said ticketsSSS.” The last syllable was drawn out, presumably to make sure she heard him clearly, but ended up sounding like the reptilian hiss that never seemed to sound right coming from a dragon. Twilight swallowed to avoid giggling at the sound, and Spike blushed as he continued, “There’s just one ticket here. The name on it says ‘Masked Champion of Harmony’. Maybe you can use the driver, and two of you can go together?”
“Go to what? Will you need a costume?” Rarity cantered down the steps from the library above, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing a little, do you have a date, Twilight? And you’re still so new to Ponyville, you really must have luck on your side!”
“It’s not a date!” Twilight gasped so hurriedly that any observers might have wondered who she was ashamed to think of in that context. “I mean, we got this invitation, but there’s only one ticket. Maybe with the driver, we can go as two ponies in one body. But that’s still –”
“The Gala?!!?!” Rarity shrieked with such excitement her voice almost disappeared into the ultrasonic as she saw the ticket in Spike’s hand, “Oh, thank you so much, darling! I can’t believe you would go to such lengths to share your ticket with me! I’ve wanted to go to the Gala my whole life, to wear one of my own designs there would truly be a recognition of my talents! Everypony who matters would be able to see my work.”
“But if you’re both going,” Spike spoke nervously, not wanting to dampen Rarity’s joy, “You’d have to wear that armour.”
“Spike’s right, we can’t exactly change the design of the armour, and I think most of the clothes I’ve seen would get in the way of the Driver.”
“Oh yes!” far from being disheartened, Rarity smiled even wider as she produced the driver with a flourish, “I was coming to show you what I’ve done. Doesn’t that just look so much more tasteful?”
It was different, that was for sure. The Driver had been a utilitarian accessory, like a more complex type of buckle. Now, the gleaming red metal had changed to a more dynamic violet pattern with other colours around the edges, and the whole thing was mounted on a gold filigree panel that looked almost like a crown. This impression was further enhanced by a considerable number of gems set around the edges. The leather strap that used to be on the back was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a delicate harness of jewelry chain.
“What…?” Twilight stared for several seconds before she even remembered to close her mouth. It was beautiful, that much was certain. Two gems at the bottom were glowing in a hue that perfectly matched the aura of Rarity’s magic, identifying them immediately as crystalline magicite, a rare and sometimes useful mineral. But she couldn’t quite wrap her mind around what she was seeing. She didn’t know why anypony would even think of tampering with an artifact as precious as the Elements of Harmony.
“Why would you do that?” she finally organised her vocal chords to shape the words, “How could you know if it would still work?”
“I think you need to try breathing slower, darling. You’re starting to look a little deranged. And if I’m going to the Gala, I certainly couldn’t wear an accessory like that. The lines, the shape, the whole design is in a style that hasn’t been seen in decades, centuries even! It’s so old fashioned that it couldn’t even carry off a little retro chic. But I have made it fresh again, a new twist on an old style. I thought you’d be delighted!” Twilight tried for a few seconds to catch her breath, and then answered in a torrent of words without pausing for breath.
“First of all, it isn’t hundreds of years old, it’s more than a thousand. Princess Celestia earned the Driver, saved the world, and then used it to banish Nightmare Moon. It isn’t just a fashion accessory, it’s a unique historic item. And it isn’t yours to update, we’re borrowing this from the Princess until we find out how to get our own. And most of all, how do you know that it’ll still work if you change the harness? Will the armour appear in the right place if you’re wearing it on a different part of your body?”
“Oh… I didn’t think of that. I assumed it would work well enough, I didn’t change any of the parts that looked like they’re important. Can we test it, and if there’s a problem I can put it back on that ugly strap, maybe a little decoration so it doesn’t look so ugly?”
“Yes,” Twilight gasped with relief, grabbing for any possibility that things might be alright, “If it still works, we might get away with it.” She hastily grabbed the ornate harness and slipped it over her head. As she’d thought, it did look almost like she was wearing a crown, though the long silver chains held the driver itself against her breast. Magnets pulled the chains snug around her shoulders, and she realised that this was a practical as well as stylistic improvement. Now she’d be able to put the driver on in a second even if she couldn’t use her magic for some reason, without needing to fumble for the clasp. Just as long as it worked.
“JOKER!” her Gaia Memory, the sixth Element of Harmony, sang out as she twirled it through the air and slid it into the driver. The anticipation was unbearable as she waited, even though it was probably less than a second before the air shimmered and Rarity was wearing an identical copy of the whole crown and collar ensemble. Magicite gems all up the left side of the piece glowed in the same rich violet shade as the Joker memory, and as she spun her own Element in the air, the right side’s gems were illuminated in a complementary magenta.
“GENEROSITYᏔJOKER!” the Driver declared. Rarity slumped to the ground, looking for all the world as if she had just fallen asleep, and in a moment the two unicorns were looking at the world through the same pair of eyes.
“It works, then,” Rarity breathed a sigh of relief, “You should have more trust in my skill with gems, darling. But why am I over there, still? I thought this thing made two ponies become one.”
“Oh no, it just sends your soul,” the distinctive voice of Pinkie Pie called down from the top of the stairs, “Your body stays where it was, sleeping. Do you need any help? The driver appeared, so I thought you might have found another dopant down here.”
“No,” Twilight answered for them, “Rarity’s been working to make the driver more stylish, I think it’s pretty neat. And we wanted to make sure it still works. So you just passed out when we transformed? You should have told us!”
(“I think that might be why she was wearing a water bucket at the party,” Rarity speculated, “Or did you just think ‘it’s Pinkie’ and not wonder any more?”)
“I didn’t think it would matter,” Pinkie shrugged as she trotted down the stairs to join them, “I made sure my body was somewhere safe before I activated the Memory, anyway. I love what you’ve done with your horn, by the way!”
Twilight and Rarity both blushed ever so slightly at the compliment. Twilight wanted to say something modest, like it was nothing special, while Rarity was more inclined to give heartfelt thanks and bask in the praise. The only sound they managed to make between them was a confused mumble. Then they quickly realised that they hadn’t seen how their horns looked in this form. They quickly reached for a mirror, which sailed across the room in a second and slammed into the wall with enough force to push slivers of glass right through the ancient stonework.
“You shouldn’t do that, it’s seven years bad luck!” They just ignored Pinkie’s comment and found another mirror, this time walking over to it.
(“I had no idea your magic was so powerful!” Rarity gasped, “I’ll let you handle things next time.”)
(“That’s not just me. It’s more like our powers are added together, or even multiplied or something! We need to do an experiment sometime, to determine how the combinations’ different strengths compare to each of us individually.”)
Then they got a good look at themselves. The new driver looked stunning, and perfectly complemented the sleek styling of the armour. Their mane had so many different shades, but looked more natural than any of the combinations they’d previously tried. And unlike the others, there was a smooth shading from Twilight’s lavender coat on the left to the grey of Rarity’s right. Their crowning glory, their horn was a good few inches longer than either of them was used to, nearly double the girth, and decorated with a spiral of lavender and white all the way to the tip.
“We look stunning,” they said together, probably with Rarity taking the lead. Sometimes it could be hard to tell which mind was behind any particular thought, and they could both agree that this particular style of the armour was breathtakingly beautiful. But it was clearly Rarity who continued, “I can’t wait to show this off, maybe a few ribbons to highlight the finer points, what do you think?”
“You want to accessorise?” Twilight answered out loud, so Pinkie wouldn’t be left out of the conversation, “I think we look fine as we are.”
“Oh yes, we look fabulous. But I would like to add just a touch of my own flair, a distinctive element that will make the design mine. At the Gala there will be so many designers, so many ponies who need to know my name. This armour is beautiful on its own, but as a canvas on which to showcase my talents it will be perfect.”
“The Gala?” Pinkie’s eyes went wide, “We’re going to the Grand Galloping Gala? I’ve wanted to go so much, I keep writing letters to the Princess asking for a ticket, but I always get a reply from her peepee saying I’m not important enough. Ohhh this is incredible!”
Twilight and Rarity would probably have turned to trade meaningful glances if they’d been in separate bodies, and if Pinkie hadn’t rushed forward to hug them so energetically. As it was they both tried to extricate themselves without hurting Pinkie, and searched for the right words to let her down gently.
(“Rarity,” Twilight whispered in their shared mind, “I do not want to see those mental images. When Celestia doesn’t have time to respond to a letter personally, such as when hundreds of ponies from all over Equestria are requesting the same thing, her secretary might send letters on her behalf. When they do so, they sign them with the letters ‘pp’, meaning ‘per procurationem’ or an old phrase meaning ‘on behalf of’. Now please, get your imagination under control!” The whole objection passed in less than a second, Pinkie probably not even realising that their attention had drifted away from her.)
“There’s only one ticket,” Twilight eventually settled on blunt facts, “Princess Celestia sent it as a reward for defeating the dopants, so I think that means two of us are allowed to go.”
“Oh! You’ve got to pick me, it’s supposed to be the most important party of the whole year, but I’m not even involved in organising it. If I could just go then I’d know what to suggest to them, to show everyone in Canterlot there’s no party like a Pinkie Party.”
“That’s a very good reason to go,” Twilight admitted, “But one ticket, one pony. We’re lucky we can be a single pony, but it’s still a tough choice. You’d both be able to show off your talents in front of the cream of society, but somehow I’ve got to choose who can come with me. I’ll… I’ll find a way somehow.”
“Wait,” Pinkie said slowly, “Can’t we go as RariPie? I mean, you said we both got a good reason, so we could both show them how awesome we are!”
(“What’s a Rari Pie? Should I be scared to ask?”)
(“She’s been thinking up names for the ways we could be combined. Please, don’t encourage her. I already can’t stop thinking of ourself as Twinkie when she’s here.”)
(“Well, I guess there’s an advantage to having a name, while neither of ours really applies. But most heroes I’ve heard of have exciting, exotic names in any case.” Rarity was thinking hard about it now, and Twilight could only hope that she wouldn’t come up with some cringeworthy portmanteau like ‘Raritwi’. She needn’t have worried: “We’re kind of representing our elements, rather than ourselves. So how about ‘Generous Joker’ as a pseudonym? I think it has an elegant air about it.”)
(“It’s kind of exotic, but not silly. And it seems kind of mysterious, like a superhero’s secret identity, even if it isn’t really a secret. I think I can live with that.”)
(“Then it’s settled. But I’m sure that I don’t want to be ‘Raripie’, it sounds like some kind of disease!”)
“I don’t think it works like that,” Twilight returned to speaking aloud again, “When I put the driver on, my right half becomes whoever puts theirs in first, right? So the –”
“You swapped out for Rainbow Dash before, didn’t you?” Rarity interrupted, Twilight’s hesitation making it easy for her to seize control of their mouth mid-sentence, “It would only be fair to try it, in case we can both go.”
“Fine,” Twilight only nudged the driver with her magic, and the Joker Element leapt straight out into her waiting hoof. She was sure it wouldn’t work; Pinkie and Rarity had both been her right half before, and she couldn’t imagine two right halves working together. She didn’t need to talk about how eager she was to speak to Princess Celestia again, and to find a few hours to digest the huge book in her mentor’s private museum.
Pinkie frowned, frustrated, as the driver didn’t appear on her neck. She’d known that it wasn’t really going to help, but she still wished it could have done.
“See,” Twilight shrugged, “Sorry, it’ll have to be–”
“GENEROSITYᏔHONESTY!” the driver sang out in a voice that seemed to fill the room, and the left half of Twilight’s body suddenly started changing colour as if someone had thrown orange paint at them. When the wave of colour reached the centre of their body it formed a neat bisecting line, which flared brilliantly at the same moment all the armour on the right half of her body began to glow. Pinkie blinked, unable to look straight into the bright light, and when she opened her eyes there was no sign of Twilight.
“Where’s the monster?” Applejack barked, looking around while the glow of her transformation was still fading.
“No monster,” Pinkie explained, “Twilight’s got us a ticket for the Grand Galloping Gala, so we were trying to find out if we could use the Driver, and the two of us could be a single guest! I think that would be so cool.”
“Wow! I’d love to go. I heard the caterers there can make a fortune, I could set up a stall to sell my famous fritters. I don’t like to think about money all the time, but we got a barn roof needs replacing, and they don’t come cheap. Would you be able to help me out? Always better with another pair of hooves.”
“I do not intend–” Rarity started to speak, then suddenly stopped as the double pony yelped, tripped over their own hooves, and landed in a disgruntled heap on the floor.
“What’s wrong?” Pinkie dashed over to help them stand again.
“I didn’t realise Rarity was there, it just kinda startled me. I never heard anything like that before, my friend’s voice coming out of my mouth.”
“Our mouth,” Rarity spoke again, pausing a moment first to let Applejack knew she was taking control, “We’re a single pony now. I guess it’s only natural to be somewhat disconcerted.”
“We should develop some kind of signals, or code, or something,” Pinkie suggested excitedly, a new idea immediately pushing all other thoughts out of her mind, “So when the Driver appears we know who we’re going to be smushed together with, and so you know if it’s a dopant or a test or what.”
“The new crown should help,” Rarity suggested, “The Magicite gems will glow in the colour of the Element that’s been inserted, and I checked when we tried it out, you can see the glow on both sides.”
“Wow,” Applejack said, looking down at the crystals, “That’s so…”
“–awesome and sparkly!” Pinkie was bouncing off the walls with excitement again, just like every time they discovered something new about the driver so far.
“I was going to say ‘practical’. We all know Rarity’s pretty good at making stuff look all pretty, but I didn’t expect it to be useful too.”
“But now we got three ponies who want to go to the Gala!” Pinkie changed the subject with more than her usual level of tact, hoping that Rarity wouldn’t have time to take offense, “Twilight’s going to have a hard job choosing.”
“Why’s it down to her?” Rarijack spoke in unity for the first time, the shared sentiment coming out in a voice that was a strange mixture of their two accents, “We’re all the Elements of Harmony, and we work together to fight the dopants. Why does Twilight get to act like she’s the leader?”
“Well the letter was addressed –” Spike answered hesitantly, not wanting to upset anypony. But he didn’t get to finish the sentence before Rainbow Dash soared in through the library windows and tumbled down the steps to the basement in a rainbow-maned crash.
“Driver!” she gasped, even before picking herself up out of the remains of the chair that she’d crashed into in her haste.
“Don’t tell me everypony wants to go to the Gala now?” Rarijack stamped a hoof in exasperation, “We’ve got as much right as –”
“First off, I’ve beaten two dopants, if anypony earned that ticket it’s Rainbow Pie. Second, driver! Now!”
A few minutes earlier, on the road into Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle was pulling a cart laden with barrels, which were a lot heavier than they looked. She could only assume that Applejack had been taking cider to market when they switched places, and she didn’t know where would be safe to leave the precious cargo. So for now, she would have to take it back to the library, and hope her friend offered some kind of reward for all the effort. Maybe a liquid reward, if she was lucky.
She wasn’t exactly impressed with the situation, especially given that Pinkie and Rarity might have chosen to settle the issue of the ticket in her absence. She was sure that no method of resolution they could come up with would be as fair as her logical and rational analysis of the benefits each hoped to gain from attendance, as well as the likelihood either would do something to embarrass her and guarantee no ticket next year.
“Maybe I should just invite Fluttershy,” she muttered to herself, “She wouldn’t make any trouble, and I could finally get some time with Princess–”
“Invite to what?” Rainbow Dash didn’t think twice about joining in on someone else’s introspection, “If it’s a party you should invite all of us.” She gracefully touched down on the road and walked alongside as Twilight struggled to move the heavy cart.
“I got a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala, a reward for saving Ponyville from those dopants.” Twilight spoke without thinking, and then immediately had second thoughts as she saw the gleam in Rainbow Dash’s eye, “Don’t tell me, you want to go too?”
“It’s only fair. It was Rainbow Pie who defeated the monsters.” she grinned proudly, as if that was all the argument she needed.
“But Pinkie and Rarity both want to impress people who are going to be there, it could be like an audition for them, a step towards their life dreams. How can I weigh that against just going to meet people and have fun? Have you got some ambition that only the Gala can help you achieve?”
“Well I heard the Wonderbolts are–” but Twilight had already left the cart and sprinted off towards a group of houses on the edge of the town, “What the hay?” Rainbow Dash glanced back and forth between the unattended cider barrels and her friend’s retreating rump.
By the time she caught up, Twilight was standing in the centre of a cloud of floating scraps of lace. There were two ponies staring in shock, one just starting to cry over whatever had just happened. They were outside what had been a clothing shop. The place specialised in wedding dresses, Rainbow Dash was vaguely aware, but she couldn’t see herself being the kind of pony ever to need one of those. The storefront was wrecked, the remains of the displays open to the winds. The doors and even the doorframe were in pieces, as if someone had used a heavy axe to get through rather than just opening the door.
“What happened?” Rainbow asked as soon as she’d taken in enough detail to see there wasn’t an obvious answer.
“I heard a scream,” Twilight said, barely paying attention, “It looks like a robbery of some kind, but I was too late to see anything. Who would do something like this?”
“It…” one of the mares by the door sobbed, “It was a monster! It took him!”
“Took who?” Twilight stepped closer, then turned away for just a moment to whisper to Rainbow Dash: “Go get the others. Could be a dopant.”
Just around the corner, a pegasus sat sobbing. She had a coat the deep ochre of a storm-tossed sea, and a mane like golden thread as it caught the light, a striking contrast. She’d always stood out from the crowd, but now she wished she didn’t. Now she was alone, and she wished she could just vanish. But she’d never be able to do that, and even if she did she’d keep blaming herself for what she had lost. She was sure that if she’d mastered a talent other than dressmaking, she might have more friends and fewer enemies, and her coltfriend might still be alive.
When bad things had happened before, she’d always turned to him and poured her heart out. It didn’t matter if she’d been beaten by a work rival, or if new neighbours were picking on her because she’d introduced herself as Speedy Thief and they couldn’t understand that a name didn’t always tell you about somepony. Somehow just talking to the one she loved had made her feel better, even though he was too immature to really help with anything. But the last time she’d seen him had been something out of a nightmare, and images of giant teeth still haunted her dreams. If she hadn’t been an expert dressmaker, that might never have happened. She’d wished for any other talent when she was growing up, but fate had handed her a place in the most competitive trade, a place where some ponies would even resort to the darkest of magics to protect her job.
Speedy was afraid now. She couldn’t bring herself to go home, in case one of her rivals was waiting for her there. She couldn’t even bear to look at her own cutie mark, the sign that had caused so much trouble for her and those around her. She’d covered it with a cloak spun from cloud-lining, her own special creation, but even that didn’t make her feel better when she remembered how determined her rivals had been to steal the design.
Speedy Thief had no friends now. Even the people who worked alongside her had turned their backs, when taking credit for her work had finally proved more lucrative than keeping her around. No friends, no love, she was desperate now. And she knew that as vicious as the competition had been this summer, she might actually have to fear for her life. She wished, oh so hard, that there was somepony she could turn to right now.