"You See My Lady, I Am One Hell Of A Butler"

by SIlverBullet


Chapter 2: "Fillings Are Enjoyable....Most Of The Time."

The soulful sound of a violin resonated from an old record player, filling the room with a gentle tone for one's ears. Rarity, Twilight, and Mayor Mare sat round the purple table in the Boutique's kitchen. The table, sometimes covered with a white crystal sheet, brought tranquillity to your soul with its beauty. Sitting on top is a lovely purple, gem pattern tea set with one cup standing in front of each of the three sitting down. The three mares stared at each other in bewilderment. It wasn't from the awkward setting of the table but the sound of olive oil in a pot, sizzling on a stove. Ettore gracefully sliced a couple of tomatoes in half with a knife he held with his magic. The sudden screams of snap, crackle and pop alerted the three around the table to stare. They continued to watch Ettore as he took three eggs out of a carton, breaking them into the bowl to separate the yellow yolk and albumen from its shell.

Rarity leant towards Twilight with slight shock in her tone as she whispered: "He's using my ingredients without asking me first?"

Twilight moved in towards Rarity to close the gap, whispering ever so lightly "You're worried about that? Look in the hallway?!" Twilight raised her hoof towards the door, making Rarity and Mayor Mare turn their attention towards the location. The sight was unbelievable, many mops and buckets were seen all over the place cleaning, dusters brushing over everything till they shone with the reflection of the sun coming through the windows, and cloth's wiping down everything in sight with deadly accuracy. The three couldn't believe what they were witnessing. With the amount of magic Ettore is using, you would need a lot of concentration with no distraction and yet he does it with ease, just like handling the whisk with his hoof at high speed without any of the mixture coming out the bowl.

"Please Mistress, if I couldn't keep the area around you spotless and so unorganised, what kind of butler would I be if I couldn't even do that?" Ettore lets go of the bowl with his hoofs, grabbing it with his magic. He turned around towards the three and used his magic to levitate the tea kettle in front of them. He poured in the tea till it rested on the top with no trouble. Rarity groaned in disagreement from Ettore's words, getting a little shock from the harsh words towards her home and workplace.

"I do beg your pardon, Darling!" Rarity said as she pushed her left hoof into her chest, completely offended by Ettore's words.

Ettore raised a brow towards Rarity in confusion as his mind was going through the contract's demands and protocols, only realising what he said had offended his Mistress's friend.

"If I have offended my Mistress's friend I sincerely do apologise, this will not happen in the future," Ettore said with an ashamed expression, lowering his to the ground "I will cease this cleaning if Mistress do so wishes it?"

Twilight's eyes opened wide while her mouth was seen with a gap as she didn't know what to say to Ettore. To Twilight, Ettore was just an ordinary unicorn who thinks they're somepony's else's property in her eyes. But Celestia sending her a Butler was a tad bit over the top. Twilight sighed in defeat as she agreed to give Ettore orders to stop cleaning Rarity's home. But, as the sound of cleaning utensils stopped another sound emitted from across the hallway that alerted everypony there, even Ettore seemed a little surprised as they all heard the sound of running water.

"You can stop now Ettore?" Rarity asked with a slight chuckle, hoping it was him.

"When I saw Sweetie Belle covered with water and dirt, I ran a small bath for her. But it sounds like she's adding more water," Ettore answered with a straight face before suddenly looking at Rarity's annoyed face "This was before you told me to cease my cleaning duties, Miss Rarity."

Rarity gave a deep sigh in acceptance to Ettore, seeing as how he already did it before she asked him to cease all cleaning duties. Rarity grew her complexion back with a big smile, knowing she would get wrinkles if she worried too much about such trivial things.

"Same old Rarity, still a drama queen." Twilight giggled before looking back towards Mayor Mare and her smiling face "Now, apart from the sudden attacks is there something I can do for you, Mayor?"

Mayor Mare pushed her glasses closer to her eyes with a serious face "Do you want the quick version or long, Princess?"

"Sho-" The sudden sound of a large crash came from the wall next to the window alerting everypony in the room. Ettore raised his hoof as he proceeded from his cooking post to the window, telling the three to remain seated. Ettore opened the window only for a grey pegasus to fly straight in rubbing her nose. They all realised it was Derpy being Derpy, but before they could say hello, she swiftly went down her mail bag and taking out a small parcel. Derpy gave the package to Ettore and then proceeded out the window as fast as she could leaving the three in a daze.

"What did you order?" Twilight said slowly starring at the package in Ettore's hoof.

Ettore looked at the parcel then Twilight before placing it on the kitchen side "The spices for tonight's supper, Mistress."

"O~kay," Twilight prolonged her word, trying not to fret over it too much "Anyway, Please continue with the short version."

"If I won't be interrupted," Mayor cleared her throat before she spoke again "In short, I need your help with a task of ensuring a few guests are happy and satisfied with their visit to Ponyville; may you do it, please?"

"Sure, I'll give you a hoof. It's not every day the Mayor asks me to lend a helping hoof with something small." Twilight said in a cheerful tone, knowing it would give her a break from the tasks the map gives her. Plus, since its organising, it's like a vacation in her eyes.

"Thank Celestia, I was expecting you to say no to my request?" Mayor Mare sighed from the weight releasing from her chest.

"If I may ask?" Ettore interrupted with three plates levitating beside him "How many guests would be arriving, what are their preferences for food, music. Their attire, what do they wear; are they posh, high up or maybe just regular folk?" Ettore continued as he placed one plate in front of all three with a delectable vegetable omelette.

"That would be the long version." the brown mare replied rubbing her neck from the sudden attack from Ettore.

Twilight raised her hoofs shaking towards the Mayor "You don't have to answer that, Mayor. But tell us when it has to be ready by?"

"In three days."

"I should have it ready in two so don't worry Mayor, everything is going to be alright." Twilight playfully saluted towards the smiling mare.

"Oh, My Celestia!!" Rarity screamed making the three turn to her in worry only to see her picking up a small piece of omelette with her magic and into her mouth once more. Rarity scrunched up with excitement from the sudden burst of flavours in the omelette saying, "This is so delicious!" Twilight smiled as she shook her head towards Rarity.

"Thank you, Milady" Ettore bowed with a straight face "But with me standing by my Mistress's side we shall have the party ready in a couple of hours." He carried on his sentence towards Mayor Mare.

Twilight and Mayor Mare both rolled their eyes in unison towards the purple stallion while Rarity couldn't focus on anything else apart from the piece of omelette in her mouth. Their little meeting went by without delays. Twilight accepted to host a party while Rarity was in awe from Ettore's cooking. It felt different with Ettore by her side nearly every second, like a hawk watching your every move. That can get a little creepy. After the small meeting, Twilight and Ettore made their way back to Twilight's castle. However, on the way back she noticed everypony around Ponyville was smiling towards Ettore and waving towards him specifically. She only heard the story of his little endeavour; even she admits it's an impressive feat to stop a manticore, Timberwolves and the Ponyville train from crashing in such a short time. But it felt like Ettore was ignoring them, he didn't respond to any of the greetings that went his way. He kept a straight face all the way towards the castle, slightly annoying her as Ettore never smiled nor had any emotion for the short period of walking back to the castle. Twilight looked towards Ettore and her castle, that was nearly in reach, thinking about organising the party and how Ettore kept a dead expression as he walked beside her.

"s~oo..." Twilight said in an awkward tone trying to break the silence around Ettore "What's your opinion on the party preparation?"

"You didn't ask?"

"Pardon?" Twilight shook her head on Ettore's words, looking at him with a raised brow "What do you mean by that?"

Ettore came to a stop by the castle doors blocking the entrance with a deep sigh before saying "You asked for the short version of the task you accepted. If my young master wouldn't mind me speaking out of line, I think you took a job that you have no information for nor have any supplies to prepare the planned evening. To me, Mistress, it sounds as if you know the guests, what they prefer in commendations all the way down to the food. How are you going to get a ball ready in just three days?"

"With my friends and me doing the planning and preparation, I'm sure we'll get it done within the three days. But what about you, weren't you the one who said you could do it in a couple of hours?" Twilight smiled as she squinted her left eye towards Ettore.

"I would never lie to my master when I said I could get it done within a couple of hours. I could get all the information for you, all the necessities that go with the crowd and even the right music to go with mood... even if I have to play the instrument myself." Ettore replied as he opened the door by walking back into it. Ettore stopped with the wide open door to make sure it stays that way for Twilight. Twilight even chuckled a little as Ettore bowed with his right hoof proceeding inwards towards the castle.

"Thank you, Ettore. But as much I would like to see your ability to plan and organise this get-together all by yourself, I'm afraid I can't let you do all the hard work for me." Twilight said as she immediately proceeded down multiple hallways to her study.

"But I insist letting me get the information about the guests to make it easier for you, Mistress?" Ettore stood by the study's door, watching Twilight use her magic to flip open a book and dip a quill in ink with a piece of parchment ready to write.

Twilight knew the task was a little bit short sided with her asking Mayor Mare for the abridged version. However this wasn't about to get her down, she's planned a few parties and get-togethers for a lot of ponies so this shouldn't be any different. But with Ettore standing by doing nothing would be a waste.

"I'm trying to change a little bit with my 'being organised' personality a tad; that's why I accepted the short version. But sure, having limited information about the guests wouldn't falter this experiment." Twilight replied as she started to write down some ideas for the task.

"I shall have the information ready for you by tomorrow morning," Ettore bowed before instantly walking off. Twilight managed to get a breather to think to herself with no pony watching her back.

Twilight found the silence blissful; there were no call outs, no ponies needing help from the map, just time to herself, all alone. She couldn't remember the last time she just had time to herself. Like, she was always out doing a mission for the map while her friends are called to another place. It was like the map was trying to keep them working their socks off for no reason at all. But, at least, she has a break just to relax with her thoughts. Twilight soon moved rooms from her study to her bedroom. As she entered the room, an immediate urge of leaping onto the bed came inside her head. She did just that, leaping, she landed on the bed from a high jump. As she fell, she saw the covers bounce up from trapped air inside them. The soft feeling of her bed almost felt like she was soaring through the skies like a feather in the wind.

"Twilight?" Spike's voice was heard from the opposite side of the closed door, making Twilight's ears flicked up with on eye looking towards the door. Spike entered the room with a happy smirk and a plate of vegetarian risotto in both hands making Twilight lift herself up from where she laid in wonder.

"I was told to deliver this to you by Ettore. Plus I'm not so sure who's he even talking too in the kitchen... It's creepy." Spike said with a shiver down his spine before placing the plate on Twilight's bed.

"Talking to himself isn't a big deal, Spike. It's only when somepony replies, that's when you worry." Twilight said with a jokey tone.

"I'm pretty sure he's talking to himself. But onto other matters, I heard you're planning a party that's going live in three days?" Spike said as he jumped up onto the bed with Twilight, who was eating a couple of spoonfuls of risotto.

"I couldn't just say no could I, Spike?" Twilight cheerfully said with some risotto in her mouth "Plus it's just a small party when they visit Ponyville, it's not like they'll show up with 7 feet tall bodyguards."

Spike stretched before laying down on the bed with his hands behind his head to rest on like a hard pillow. "Small party? Usually, when somepony asks you to plan something it's normally a big thing, right?"

"It sounds like you're worried?" Twilight's words made Spike wave his hand up and down in denial.

"Pfft, worried? I shouldn't worry about you if you're around; you're the smartest Alicorn that I know so the party should go smoothly." Spike replied before closing his eyes trying to sink into the comfy bed.

"Yeah, I guess your right Spike. I guess your right." Twilight smugly agreed before getting off the bed and out of her room.


Twilight's left eye twitched as she stood looking through her study door, shocked at the sight of folders in huge piles everywhere around the study. Twilight slightly giggled in disbelief towards the sight because she has never seen so many folders in her lifetime just in one room, books maybe, but not folders. Twilight used her magic to float a random thin folder off from one of the piles, opening it in front of her only to see one sheet of paper with a photo of a blackened out, hard to understand, cutie mark. The information was limited to the pony's likes and dislikes, like loving doughnuts and hating bossiness of another one's mouth. Ettore walked in the study with more folders beside him with his magic giving Twilight some time to blink rapidly. Twilight couldn't believe Ettore's... resourcefulness. She only gave Ettore the job of finding out the guests a couple of hours ago, how is it possible to get so much information on so many ponies. Is Ettore some miracle worker, gifted or just has a creepy stalker hobby. Even so, she was impressed but at the same time concerned.

"Heh heh, how many more folders are there?" Twilight chuckled towards the light purple stallion with the folder by her side, hoping the answer she's expecting to be the one she wants.

Ettore placed down the folders next to Twilight as there was limited space around the study. He was very careful not to get any dirt or dust on his white suit and white mane since it would be killer to get it out. He revolved towards Twilight and lowered his head slightly in courtesy before speaking "This batch of folders are the last to come, Mistress. I even took the liberty of taking out their names and any unnecessary information that would harm your experiment, I hope you are pleased?"

Twilight stood speechless towards Ettore. Twilight's mind soon filled with questions about the unicorn in front of her, like how was he able to do everything as if it was second nature to him or how he could get grape juice stains out of a white tablecloth. But even for a somepony like Ettore being able to get this much information was inequine, but being able to sort it out on top of that is astounding, Twilight herself couldn't organise something like this in a couple of hours; more like a couple of weeks or maybe months in fact. All she can agree on is that Ettore was doing his job to his full extent, even with the care of not hindering her little experiment. But wait? Twilight thought in her head, only suddenly realising if Ettore could get any information on anypony, wouldn't that make the unicorn dangerous or, at least, a perv who peeks into the private life of others?

"If you don't mind me asking, where did you get all this from?" Twilight broke her shocked silence, only to notice Ettore's body twitch on hearing her question.

"I obtained this information from an associate," Ettore said with a dark tone, hoping she would accept the answer to which she did not.

"Huh uh... And who might this associate be?" Twilight raised a brow towards Ettore.

"A female gryphon, Mistress," Ettore said another vague answer, Twilight slightly getting annoyed with the unicorn.

"I don't suppose you would tell me who this gryphon is and who they work for, hmm?" Twilight turned her head with a hum. Ettore smiled towards Twilight giving her a little shock, knowing what she's trying to do.

"She works with books, folders and sometimes a baking job when she's bored, all based in Canterlot. But she travels all over Equestria so I do not know where she will appear next." Ettore's reply made Twilight huff because it was like talking to Pinkie Pie when she avoids a particular answer.

"Okay," Twilight sighed as she sat down on her plot, tapping her chin towards the smiling stallion knowing this was going to be a long conversation "I remember saying who do they work for, not where do they work?"

"She works for an information broker during the weekdays and a baker the weekends," Ettore answered Twilight as he lifted up a couple more folders and placed them in an even pile next to each other.

"You're not making much sense, Ettore." Twilight moaned towards the stallion.

"I am only answering the questions you are giving me, Mistress," Ettore replied as he proceeded to even out more folders all over the study.

Twilight groaned as she lowered her head in annoyance towards Ettore, getting this feeling of a long haul ahead of her. When she raised her head, the sight of folders from every pile being equally spaced out from each other with pure accuracy stunned her. Almost coming off topic from the distraction of Ettore's actions she used her magic to turn Ettore round.

"I want you, Ettore, to tell me the name of the organisation your contact works for?" Twilight sounded frustrated a little because of Ettore's little dodge of the question.

"Then why didn't you say so, Mistress?" Ettore cheekily smiled as he continued to even out the folders behind him "They work for True Valets."

Twilight widened her eyes a little, thinking there was going to be more to Ettore's sentence only to be disappointed as he didn't speak another word. The Alicorn huffed towards the Unicorn, feeling displeased with the answer he gave her.

"Is that all you're going to give me, they work for your organisation?"

Ettore stopped all his actions in evening out all the folders, making some folders freeze in mid-air as he looked towards Twilight with a serious expression.

"Have you heard the saying, curiosity killed the cat?" Ettore replied with a sudden harsh tone catching Twilight off guard "I am not obligated to give out any information, apart from, we are a business that provides the best butler service to particular clients." finished as he waltzes out the room with a couple of folders.

Twilight raised a brow towards the now leaving Unicorn with a suspicious thought. A sudden avoidance towards her question on getting info just made her more curious. Twilight moved around her study in a fidgety manner from the thought, ending with her sinking to a random pillow with a deep sigh. At least, she wasn't being called on by the map today for any reason, so that helps her relax a little. The ceiling never looked so high with all the folders beside her pointing upwards to the ceiling. She stayed glued to the floor for a couple of minutes before sitting back up and taking a couple of folders from the piles. Ettore wasn't joking when he said he only obtained the names, likes and dislikes of the ponies. Seems a little odd. Twilight couldn't think about anything else other than where Ettore came from; organisation wise that is. She couldn't get the thought of True Valets out of her head, she hasn't heard of them and neither has any of her friends, It's also no secret about how Ettore is avoiding questions about True Valets. But, her guess with how he got the information was from True Valets itself. Twilight didn't know if she should be scared or weary of True Valets. If they have a system that can get any information on anypony then what's to stop them with doing something evil. That couldn't happen anyway, the way it sounds to her, True Valets are just a butler company out to get money.

Twilight stopped thinking about the negative thoughts towards Ettore's organisation and focused on the party participant's information. Twilight managed to get through all the folders within two hours. In Twilight's mind, it's just a walk in the park or an evening read. The number of ponies going to the party is unbelievable, over 500 to be exact. It just doesn't make any sense as to why Mayor Mare would ask Twilight to host a part for that many, especially with the types of ponies coming to the party. From your high upper class all the way down to your average Joe and country occupants. Twilight still had a calm and clear mind over this eerie situation; it's not every day something other than the map asks for help. But still, it would be good for Twilight to plan and relax. She hasn't got anything to worry about; she's got all her friends to assist her if she gets into trouble or lend her a hoof in some physical work for the party.

Twilight stood up to notice the sun almost about to set off through her study window. Peace, that is what she is feeling right now as the sun shone on her, covering her with warmth. It isn't all that bad in her life as of now; she still hangs out with her friends, has picnics, and even goes on trips here and there. This feeling made her smile towards the sun as the sense of happiness built inside her, forgetting her surroundings only to knock down an entire pile down to her hoofs. She clicked her tongue with the whip of her head annoyed towards the folders on the floor. She looked around her study with a keen eye to focus on all the piles, trying not to feel shocked again for Ettore's organisation. But something caught her eye as she looked around the folder covered study. If she wasn't mistaken, that was the last pile Ettore brought into the room and yet it feels off. She moved towards it to notice it was two folders short from all the rest of the collection. If she recalls correctly, Ettore left the room with them floating with his magic beside him. Maybe he forgot about them when she was talking to him? Either way, she was going to see if he still had them on him. Upon leaving, she could smell a sweet smell emitting from the hallway. Ettore must have put something on in the cooker or stove Twilight thought in her mind. The smell was powerful enough to lure her unwillingly through her castle to the kitchen door; It was like a spell had been placed on her legs. She stopped by the door, standing there for a few minutes to inhale the lovely smell of cooking apples. Twilight moved her hoof towards the door handle only to be shocked as it opened in front of her revealing her kitchen. Twilight gasped as Ettore was standing behind the door with a large napkin on his right hoof that was out horizontally in front of him.

"Will Milady have her supper in the kitchen or her study?" Ettore suddenly asked, merely catching her a little off guard.

"Errm... How did-"

"Know you were there?" Ettore finished Twilight's sentence, leaving her baffled as he took a step to the side which allowed Twilight to enter the kitchen awkwardly "It is my job to know where you are at all times, Mistress."

"Isn't that a little creepy, Ettore?" Twilight sighed as she made her way to the dining area.

"A Butler is not a Butler without his or her Master... Or you could say I heard your hoofsteps combined with your sudden inhaling of my cooking," Ettore replied only to get a sarcastic roll of Twilight's eyes followed with a grin.

"Please don't call me Master, I don't like it when I'm called a Princess by my friends, which is kind of the same thing, so please, call me Mistress or Twilight is fine." Twilight smiled as she sat down in the chair she sat down this morning. A steaming, orange liquid inside a bowl is suddenly placed in front of her with a soup spoon on the side.

"Here is a slowly brewed apple and butternut squash soup with some special spices that Derpy delivered to me this noon." Ettore shortly explained.

Twilight took the spoon with her magic and took a generous amount and placed it in her mouth, but not before giving it a small blow to cool it down. Twilight sat there as flavours mixed around her mouth, filling it with bliss. But, upon the sudden hit of bliss, she realised what she was there to do.

"Thank you for the soup, Ettore. But I'm afraid I came here to find the two folders that are missing from the files?" Twilight said as she placed the silver spoon on the table and stood up.

"I do sincerely apologise, Mistress. I took them with me by mistake and forgot to go back to give them back. The two folders are in the kitchen on the side if you wish to obtain them. Plus, may I give out some helpful advice, I'd advise grabbing the help of the one called Pinkie Diana Pie. She would be a great asset to the team in creating this party." Ettore pointed out as he waltzed back into the kitchen. Ettore grabbed the two folders and placed them in front of Twilight, who was next to the table still.

"I was going to ask her anyway. I'm sure even Pinkie would have a hard time getting a large party like this planned within a couple of days." Twilight chuckled as she picked up the two folders and made her way to the door "Well... Unless she hasn't seen this coming that is."

"I am positive Miss Pie does not know anything about Mayor Mare's party, Mistress," Ettore replied as Twilight left the room. Ettore's aura around him changed like he was an entirely different stallion. He turned towards the oven that glowed orange. Ettore opened the oven, making the heat escape onto his face. Only, he didn't care about it, all he cared about was the burning pages in the oven. Ettore closed his eyes with a sigh as the paper was fully burnt to a crisp.

Ettore closed the oven a little later as he escaped his mind, whispering to himself "Sorry, Twilight... But the less you know, the better...."