“This is incredible!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, beside herself with delight.
“Yeah, it...” Twilight said beside her, a little less enthusiastically.
“This could change everything!” Apple Bloom announced. “Ah cain’t believe I didn’t think of this before!”
“Here ya go, Apple Bloom,” Applejack said from behind the two of them, handing Apple Bloom a strange, cloth wrapped apparatus. “Biscuits might be a bit overdone, but you’re free to give it a shot.”
“Alright so, I hold this thing here,” Apple Bloom said carefully to Twilight, eyeing what was now balanced on her hoof, “And bite down to close it... an’ since it’s wrapped in a dish towel, it ain’t gonna burn me?”
“You won’t be able to get a better facsimile without sewing, and I’m sure you can let go if it gets too hot,” Twilight answered, leaning on the counter looking weary of talking down to the little filly standing in front of the oven. “But, anyway, let’s go back to the part about the dream princess...”
“Ah told you everything ah know,” Apple Bloom said snippily, then to Applejack in more excitement, “Sis, you got those real potholders, so you can catch it if’n it don’t work for me?”
“Gotcha covered, Apple Bloom!” Applejack said with a mitten wrapped thumbs up.
Apple Bloom placed what looked like (because they were) a pair of salad tongs wrapped in dish towels, secured with twine, on the chair next to the counter. “Ah’m gonna be so happy if this works!” she uttered, rearing up to peer at the handle slightly above her for pulling the oven open.
“I’m um... happy for you,” Twilight said, “But seriously, do you think she’s held in a facility, or some sort of laboratory?”
Apple Bloom dropped down jarringly on soft hooves, from the dish towels also wrapped around her forelegs. “Hold on, ah gotta concentrate,” she said, eyeing the oven one more time before really rearing up and biting on the handle. The heat blasted out as Apple Bloom dropped, then walked backwards, and the door tilted open. She couldn’t get it flat to the floor with her mouth, but she slapped it down with an insulated hoof until it was firmly horizontal. It hot, but it wasn’t burning her so far!
“Be careful now, Apple Bloom,” her sister said, also standing there rather anxiously watching her.
“Don’t worry sis, ah’ll stop if’n it don’t work,” Apple Bloom assured her. Then she faced the oven and reared up one more time, thumping down on the hot surface of the open door. Craning her neck to grab the tongs, she swiveled them forward in her mouth, and stuck her head into the oven. It was tricky to get the tongs to slide under the baking pan, but once they did, it was relatively simple to bite down and pull the whole thing out. Then the only trick was balancing a ridiculously unwieldy baking pan, in a pair of muffled wrapped tongs.
Apple Bloom... almost made it. She had to drop the thing with a clatter onto the chair she was aiming to jump on though. “Dangit, the chair!” she exclaimed in alarm as the hot pan hit the wood of the chair seat.
“Ah’m on it, Apple Bloom,” her sister shouted, nabbing the hot tray in her own pot holders, disaster averted. Wheeling her hooves up in the air meanwhile, Apple Bloom removed them from the hot oven door, jumped out of the way, and turned in a short short circle. She used her nose to flip up the oven door, which tilted up before her. Then she hoofed it closed, sealing off the heat, the door handle once again just above eye level.
“That... coulda gone better,” Apple Bloom said looking critically at where she’d dumped the tray onto the chair. “But still, all ah had a problem with, was gettin’ the tray all the way up to the counter.”
“I’d say it went darn well given the circumstances!” Applejack claimed happily. “Y’all better thank Twilight for showing you somethin’ so useful!”
“Thanks Twilight, ah really appreciate it!” Apple Bloom said gratefully to the discontent looking purple girl. “This is about the one thing the rest of mah family don’t have no time for. If I can help cook, that’ll be just the bees knees!”
“The... what?” Twilight asked, scratching her head for some reason.
“C’mon, let’s see what other pony things ah can do!” Apple Bloom answered, charging out of the room.
Both Sunset and Twilight seemed shocked that Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were eating hay. Apple Bloom looked from the Equestrian humans, to the hay bale that she had just snatched up a mouthful of, and back to them again.
“Aum—”
Apple Bloom paused to clear her mouth a bit. “Ah’m not s’poshedta eat hay?” she asked the pony humans, in utter confusion.
Scootaloo froze on the spot, with a bit of fear in her eyes glancing at those girls, and refusing to chew the hay in her mouth. Sweetie Belle just blushed self consciously, and hid her head behind the hay bale.
“Well of course you are,” Sunset said finally, in a disquieted fashion, “But you don’t even cook it?”
“What’s there to cook?” Apple Bloom whined. “It’s jush grass!”
Scootaloo started chewing again, furious that she couldn’t interject, even though she was still pretty terrible at talking.
“Yeah, but you’re not used to eating just... grass,” Sunset answered uncertainly, “You usually cook your food, I mean, as a human. You don’t even fry your hay, or anything?”
“Oh Apple Bloom, you don’t even know!” Twilight cut in, in perplexed enthusiasm. “There are a million and one things you can do with hay! You can bake it into bread! You can make muffins, cupcakes! You’ve never even had the pleasure of a bowl of frosted wheats in the morning?”
“Actually, those are here,” Sunset pointed out to Twilight, before Apple Bloom could answer, “They just only put the grain in it. Then they try to make it stiff like hay again. It’s crazy!”
“No, really?” Twilight asked Sunset with wide eyes. “How do they keep it from turning to mush in the milk?”
“High temperatures and pressures,” Sunset said in bemusement. “They basically starch their own cereals. There’s even some weird coatings I heard about.”
“Boy does that sound less than appetizing,” Twilight said with a twist of her upper lip.
“There’s really no reason to eat it at all,” Sunset said shaking her head. “Humans get by perfectly well on a diet of fruits, vegetables and meat. These days it’s all because of tradition and social inertia. There was one time in ancient history, apparantly, where humans discovered an efficient way to grow cereal grains. But rather than feed that hay to their prey, they selectively bred it over centuries to have larger and more calorie dense fruits. Why they didn’t do that with something more edible, I haven’t the slightest idea. There are so many things about human history that just don’t make any sense!”
Apple Bloom toed the floorboard, contemplating that. “How about grass?” she then asked tentatively, looking up at Twilight warily. “Like, the green stuff?”
Twilight smiled in response. “Yes, when grasses are in season, you can serve them for meals too,” she revealed to Apple Bloom, “A very good source of calories, vitamins, minerals and fiber!”
“...serve them?” Apple Bloom said with a nervous chuckle.
Twilight nodded and said, “Yes, we...” and then she took her fingers off her chest, and looked at Apple Bloom straight, saying in a more disgruntled tone, “You just eat it off the ground, don’t you.”
“So you mean to tell me,” Apple Bloom said doubtfully, “There’s a whole society of ponies, who eat grass, an’ they won’t eat it off the ground?”
Twilight blustered blushingly, saying, “T-there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just very... um...”
“Unfriendly!” Sunset interrupted in sudden realization. Both looked at her, and she focused on them saying, “It’s unfriendly. I never even thought about it before, but when somepony could prepare the grass for you, and you just eat it off the ground instead, it’s sort of unfriendly. Ponies who do it are usually like, losers, or grouches.”
“I wouldn’t wanna be unfriendly,” Apple Bloom said pensively, “But ah mean, it’s just grass.”
“There’s a story of the days before Harmony,” Twilight said somewhat wistfully. “Ponies tell it to their foals every hearth’s war...every winter holiday. They talk about a time when ponies all did their own thing, and ate their own grass, but only by working together and becoming something more than they were apart could they overcome an onslaught of hideous ice demons.”
Apple Bloom blinked at her.
“The point is, ponies feel very strongly about helping other ponies,” Twilight said “So, there’s nothing wrong with eating grass off the ground at all. It’s just nicer if somepony can help make the grass tastier, and you can help them in return.”
“Seems like a lot of work for nothin’ to me!” Apple Bloom groused.
“But it lets ponies help each other,” Twilight persisted. “Any opportunity for that is something everypony can benefit from.”
Apple Bloom huffed, retorting, “An’ yet, humans doin’ all sorts of work to make breakfast cereal don’t make sense?”
“Well yes, because it—” Twilight paused. “It uh, it...” she looked at her knuckles. “Wow.”
“The agricultural revolution was humans discovering Harmony!” Sunset concluded excitedly for her. “It’s still crazy because it isn’t healthy food, but humans did it anyway because it meant helping each other!”
“Wow, I think you’re right!” Twilight retorted looking at Sunset excitedly.
Apple Bloom looked between them with dim enthusiasm, and said, “Cain we get back to our hay now?”
“Shtasthes fine,” Scootaloo slurred out irately around her hay. “Haysh good. Can’t justh eat bread anymore. Ish like sholid budder!”
“You can eat hay all you like,” Twilight told them with a smile. “It’s just odd circumstances. Really odd circumstances. Hay should certainly be a staple of your diet.”
So, the three of them relievedly went back to eating hay, in preparation for a tasty (and smaller portioned) lunch meal.
Twilight and Sunset’s reaction to ponies eating hay was nothing though, compared to when Granny brought a container of dried beef sticks up from the pantry. They probably should have wised up when both Sunset and Twilight shook their heads, Twilight declining for them with a raised hand, but at this point, Apple Bloom at least was more paying attention to the meat sticks than the girls.
Apple Bloom didn’t see their reactions afterward, because Granny told the three fillies, “Hey you three pony folk, see if you kin split one!” and then Apple Bloom only had eyes for the slowly rotating slice of dried, salted beef Granny Smith sent sailing through the air.
The three of them did manage to split the beef stick between them, but only after Sweetie Belle grabbed it in her mouth, and pushed the other two away from toppling into her, narrowly avoiding a three pony pileup. Apple Bloom bit the end sticking out of the curled up sides of Sweetie’s mouth, and shouted to Scootaloo, “Bite th’ en’!” Tasty, salty, meaty goodness filled Apple Bloom’s mouth as she chomped down with her incisors. Sweetie shook her head slightly as the two ends flew off, Apple Bloom falling one way and Scootaloo the other.
“Haha tha’ wasz sho grosh, Apple Bloohm,” Scootaloo said, gripping the piece of meat slick with saliva in her two hooves, and focusing on taking little bites out of it.
“Maksh sense!” Apple Bloom said, happily chewing the hearty, salty piece against her molars with a big open mouth. “We cainsh’t eat a whole one so we gotsha splish it somehow!”
“Tell that thoo Shweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said, eyeing her unicorn friend with some uneasiness.
Sweetie had rolled belly up and was lying there with the beef stick sticking out of her mouth and a blissful look on her face. “Mmm...” she said appreciatively, taking a rapid bite and then another, and the third sent the remaining piece flying up, whereupon Sweetie sat up and snatched it right out of the air with her teeth. She just chewed it then, giving a pleased little squee and wiggling her four hooves in the air.
Actually both of Sweetie’s ponified friends kinda forgot about their own bit of the stick, to watch Sweetie enjoy hers. She definitely was a happy little pony, as odd as that was.
“Boy Shweetie,” Scootaloo said teasingly. “We bether watch out or we’rll be nesht on vthe menu!”
“We cain’t do that!” Apple Bloom whined to Scootaloo in mock outrage, “That’s cannipalism! We cain only gobble up human beings now!”
“You girlsh aren’ funnhy,” Sweetie said blushing and covering her face with her hooves, and sincerely trying not to laugh with them.
“Who wants some juice to wash that down!” Granny said cheerily, walking up with a tray in her arms with a glass on it and two bowls.
“Ooh!” Scootaloo said, waving a hoof over her head, while Apple Bloom said “Ah do!” quite brightly, Sweetie nodded very earnestly, having had the lion’s share of the dried, salted meat to work on, and Twilight Sparkle toppled out of her chair with a heavy thud.
Apple Bloom looked over at that, turned the way of Sunset and Twilight, to find the Twilight girl passed out senseless, her limp purple cheek pressed into the carpet. Far from helping her, Sunset was just staring at the three pony girls in horrified shock, mumbling as she stood up,
“Of course they—oh jesus shit tits—they’d be feeding you meat, of course they’re human, they own a cattle ranch, of course they would!”
Apple Bloom’s ears went straight down at that. She was literally trembling at the level of Sunset’s alarm. She walked towards Sunset and exclaimed in sudden fear, “But ah been eating meat this whole time! Am... am ah gonna die?”
Sunset focused on Apple Bloom with some difficulty, and opened her mouth, but no words came out, then shut it again. She slumped back in her chair abruptly. “I—I don’t know,” she blurted out, “I’ve never, ever seen a pony eating... meat. I–I s-suppose it’s fine. But holy shit I did not see that coming.”
“Is that why Twilight, uh...” Apple Bloom hovered over Twilight, poking her unresponsive side.
“Oh j—Twilight!” Sunset exclaimed, as if noticing her for the first time. Actually that was probably exactly what happened. Sunset hauled Twilight up into her chair, while Granny hovered behind the three fillies uneasily with a plate of juice drinks (from concentrate, considering the season). After squeezing the purple girl’s cheeks in her fingers thoughtfully, Sunset looked around asking, “Does anyone have any smelling salts?”
When Twilight awoke with a sudden inhalation of breath and a hacking cough Sunset held her back as she recovered her breathing. “Thanks Sunset,” Twilight said in relief, “I don’t know what came over me. For some reason I had this crazy idea that those three little ponies were eating meat.”
Twilight smiled blandly at the serious look Sunset was giving her, and then at the three fillies clustered around her on the floor looking up at her seriously. Her smile slowly shrank away.
“Meat,” Twilight said looking at them in horror. “You were eating meat. You were but you but...”
“You wanna explain something to me?” Apple Bloom asked in a frightened yet unsatisfied tone. “How is it that ah get sick offa eating nothing but hay, but then some real pony girl comes along and is shocked that hay ain’t all ah can eat?”
“What?” Twilight said simply, focusing on Apple Bloom in confusion.
“Ah cain’t just eat hay,” Apple Bloom tried again to their renewed growing horror. “Ah got so sick at first! Thought ah could eat like a horse, an’ when ah did ah just got like anemia and terrible stuff.”
“Well yes, but... really? That’s why you were in so much distress back then?” Twilight said, boggling at Apple Bloom.
“Well uh, yeah... ‘cause ah’m a pony and all?” Apple Bloom said in an unsettled fashion. “It didn’t work. Ah ended up having to eat normal people food, an’ hay together. More hay than anything else though. But why cain’t ah eat meat, if the only thing that makes me sick is just hay?”
“That whole time,” Sunset groaned with her head in her hands, “And we just assumed you... you already knew how to eat. Of course you wouldn’t know.”
“We should have come forward so much sooner,” Twilight moaned, getting on her knees with actual tears in her eyes. “I can’t believe you had to go through that... I’m so sorry!”
“I-it’s alright, I feel better now,” Apple Bloom said blushing and putting a hesitant hoof on Twilight’s knee. “U-uh. Ah feel fine now. I just been eating whatever since then, an’ seeing if anything didn’t agree with me.”
“Did anything?” Sunset asked in curiosity, hovering over Twilight’s shoulder.
“...besides grass?” Apple Bloom asked skittishly.
“Y—it’s just that humans basically have the same diet as ponies, just with much different proportions, and not nearly as many flowers,” Sunset clarified. “I was curious if you found anything that didn’t digest well. But if you can even eat meat, I’m at a loss to think of anything...”
“Only a little meat!” Apple Bloom said. “But no, ah ain’t really found nothing. Of course, ah been trying not to experiment neither, since ah might find something. Mostly it’s just... proportions like you said. Like sugar, can ponies just eat tons of sugar or what?”
Sunset hesitated at that and looked to Twilight, who nodded at Apple Bloom saying, “Yes... but in my world many creatures can digest sugar. Perhaps my world did transform you somehow, because creatures in your world seem to almost entirely lack frycolysis. I would think ponies from your world would have that deficiency too.”
“Ponies from mah world bust open their stomachs and die if’n they eat sugar,” Apple Bloom said harshly. “That’s what really threw me about all this. So ah am your uh, your world’s Apple Bloom ...after all?”
“Er, no,” Twilight admitted, “Sunset was suggesting you had similar biology but if you were her, then you would remember growing up in Ponyville and living on your family uh... farm.”
Twilight looked around at the farm house surrounding her, then sighed and added in a flat voice, “Also, the other Apple Bloom would probably scream and run, at the first pony who mentioned eating meat.”
“Yeah, not gonna lie ah ain’t exactly screaming an’ running,” Apple Bloom said, kicking her hoof on the floor, “Even though I guess ah could technically be closer related to a cow now. But y’gotta eat, right? Ah mean, I could stop eating meat... ah guess... but long as it’s there, why turn it down?”
The pony humans gave her no answer, whether because they had none or didn’t want to say it.
“What abou’ flowers?” Sweetie Belle piped up, breaking the tension, “What flowers can we eat?”
Twilight laughed weakly, and said to the little unicorn, who still had juice on her face from drinking it out of a bowl, “Better to ask what flowers can’t you eat, Sweetie Belle!”
Sweetie put a hoof under her chin, then said, “What flowers can’t we eat?”
“Nightshade, mandrake, moonflower, henbane, if you eat those you’ll be insane,” Twilight ticked off on her fingers, while at the same time... reciting something? “Lily bells, oleander, monkshood make your heart feel not so good.”
She stopped then. Apple Bloom waited for her to continue, but Twilight just folded her hands.
“That’s about it,” Twilight said. “Some other obscure ones found in tropical climates, but for the most part if it tastes good, it’s a good flower! Though obviously if you aren’t wanting to take chances you can stick with the common favorites, like daisies, roses, bluebells, daffodils, mmm daffodils are a particular favorite of mine, lilacs, cala lily, orchids, foxglove, geraniums, lavender...”
Sunset cut Twilight off, who looked like she was starting to drool, saying, “Okay, they get the picture.”
“Ah’m... fairly sure some of those are poison,” Apple Bloom said, feeling rather diffident about all this.
“Yep,” Twilight responded agreeably. “There’s a reason you’re so brightly colored, after all.”
“Because... ah’m a human?” Apple Bloom continued to ask uncertainly, looking at her human colored fur, and her human hair colored tail.
“Ye—wait,” Twilight blinked. She looked at Sunset for clarification, but the flame haired girl just shrugged her shoulders looking equally puzzled.
“I don’t know any biological reason humans are pony colored,” Sunset admitted, “Just seems random to me.”
Twilight looked back at a confused pair of fillies (Scootaloo was off away a ways, currently trying to climb the bookcase.) and said, “I guess neither of us knows why humans are brightly colored. But for ponies, the leading theory in my world is that ponies are brightly colored as a warning to potential predators. Humans can hardly tolerate any toxins, so I’m beginning to wonder how true that theory is. Then again, you humans do have an unusual tolerance for many toxic substances to ponies: caffeine, cocaine, nicotine, oh sh—shoot!”
Twilight slapped her hands over her forehead, moaning through them, “I just thought of something you could get very sick from eating. You’re way, way too young to have started smoking, right?”
Sunset’s eyes widened at that too and she slapped a fist into her palm going, “Oh, right! Tobacco is in the nightshade family! Ponies can get seriously ill on that stuff.”
“While there are no texts I know of that research the effect on ponies of inhaling smoke from burning nightshade,” Twilight added, “I certainly doubt it would be anywhere near as safe as it is with humans. You could at the very least expect some severe hallucinations.”
“No smoking then,” Apple Bloom said, spooked. “Got it.”
“Do hyou even know anyone who szmokes?” Sweetie asked Apple Bloom.
“Come to think on it, ah don’t think ah do...” Apple Bloom said pondering on that. “Maybe people round here just ain’t dumb enough to do that?”
“There’s uh... one store that sells cigarettes,” Sunset said. “It’s kind of a hole in the wall, though. I don’t think they’re a very lucrative industry.
“Don’ tell me you sh...smoked?” Sweetie Belle said to Sunset Shimmer with wide eyes. “You know that hur’s your brain, right?”
“Time loop, remember?” Sunset pointed out remorselessly. “I was curious if it really was that harmless to human biology. Besides come on, enough of this and anybody’d need some stress relief. They’re great at helping you relax, trouble is you stop being able to relax when you don’t have them.”
“You’re okay now, though?” Apple Bloom asked, eyeing her worriedly.
Sunset nodded, “Yeah, I’m not stupid enough to start that, if I’m not gonna suddenly be standing there out by the statue without any cigarette cravings. Still it was nice except for that. Chamomile is pretty much better, all around though.”
“Ooh, chamomile is a flower humans can eat!” Sweetie pointed out.
“Very good, Sweetie!” Twilight smiled at her. Sweetie beamed and shifted on her hooves happily.
“So how else do ponies eat?” Apple Bloom asked, giving Sweetie an odd look, “Different like from humans?”
“Well, let me tell you about barley nut casserole...”
That was pretty much the sort of thing Twilight and Sunset occupied themselves with, that weekend: telling the three of them just... how to be ponies. Apple Bloom would have liked if the girls could reveal some incredible secret powers that ponies possessed, but as Apple Bloom had already figured out how to tie a square knot, it really couldn’t get much more magical than that!
She didn’t even really know if she was the same kind of pony they were talking about. These visitors were from another world (or crazy girls, but Apple Bloom was very reluctant to conclude that a relatively lucid individual was crazy these days, no matter what oddball story they spouted off). They said Apple Bloom had an alternate double who looked just like her, like the pony her, and there was a pony just the same for Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.
But while Apple Bloom may have accepted their story, she only had their word that it was the truth. If it ain’t obvious, the two former ponies were unable to turn themselves into ponies to demonstrate, and apparantly transformation magics were really hard in general. Not the sort of thing that just happens to you without a lot of hocus pocus special unicorn stuff. Not the sort of thing that happens without you noticing while walking around school one day. So the idea that she was one of their species of pony was on a pretty shaky foundation, even if it was the only explanation anyone could come up with.
Predictably, the two had more to offer to Sweetie Belle than either of the other two ponies. Sweetie was totally fascinated with the idea of being a magic pony. Like, real magic; magic you could see, instead of that creepy subtle stuff they were talking about with regard to Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom couldn’t even conceive of how she would summon these supposed powers to like, pop her head out of a thing that was too small for her to fit in. Twilight did say that most ponies were just normal and not all that magic, so Apple Bloom probably didn’t have to worry about the boundaries of time and space warping in her presence. At least not when she was paying attention to them.
Sweetie was like the kid in a candy shop though. Which was weird, because try as she might, Sweetie Belle couldn’t even make her horn so much as twinkle. Sunset reassured her that it was normal, and gave her these exercises like, mental exercises like feeling out your horn or something. The fact that Sweetie understood exactly what Sunset was talking about was kind of creepy in-of-itself. Try as she might to imagine what it felt like to have a horn like that coming out of your head, Apple Bloom couldn’t really understand how flowing without flowing could work, or how you’d project your consciousness anywhere other than where it was.
Sweetie seemed to like the exercises though, or at least what they promised, and she was doing them a lot. And Scootaloo liked... moving. Twilight was absolutely sure this was normal, and the only thing that puzzled Apple Bloom is how Scootaloo’s enthusiastic activity was no different than her enthusiastic activity as a human. Just a bit younger maybe, and more playful. Scootaloo could have just as easily turned into a different kind of pony, and not been so full of motion as a ...pegasus.
Apple Bloom still couldn’t believe they were called pegasus. And Sunset had absolutely no idea why the pony in the myth was named Pegasus. What’s worse, not a single scrap or record from that ancient society said anything, about what you called the kind of winged horse that Pegasus was. Besides just calling him demigod, but Apple Bloom was not going to start calling Scootaloo that. It was like some sort of twisted joke. So Scootaloo got to be a pegasus, and the uncanny thing was how her new form fit her personality just perfectly.
Apple Bloom had her suspicions and theories. It was quite possible that whatever turned you into a pony did take your personality into account somehow. Apple Bloom’s sort of pragmatism worked well for an earth pony, because she had that kind of creativity you really needed to have the way she was. She didn’t have fancy wings or a horn, so she’d have been up a creek without her eye for a solution to a problem, no matter how you got to that solution. Maybe that was why it gave Apple Bloom the burden of being an earth pony, with the weird magic and the sort of middle ground generalism.
Scootaloo made sense as a pegasus, just because she loved running and moving, dancing, sports, Rainbow Dash, it was pretty obvious Scootaloo’d be a pony who’d fly through the sky if given a chance. Sweetie on the other hand was so... analytical and careful, and those were important qualities to have as a unicorn, what with a magical lightning rod stuck in your forehead. So whatever mysterious being was governing these transformations, they couldn’t have been entirely malevolent, because they gave Sweetie that nice and very useful horn to look forward to, and they gave Scootaloo something really awesome to look forward to, that’d take her mind off the whole “too small even for a kid’s scooter” thing.
They probably forgot a million things to ask Twilight and Sunset, before the two left that weekend, but what’s done is done, and honestly Apple Bloom had a lot better life ahead of her, thanks to them. She might have figured it all out eventually, well except that weird horn stuff... and wing stuff, she supposed. But Twilight certainly helped matters.
She confirmed that ponies do write, and draw, and even paint with their mouths. In fact, Apple Bloom had thought she was going overboard with the use of her mouth, using her mouth for way too many crazy things, but in fact Apple Bloom was barely scratching the surface! The craziest thing they taught her about mouthwork she could recall was, well... grabbing a hot baking pan in your mouth. But also frosting with your mouth, cutting things with your mouth. Cutting big things like carrots with your hooves though.
Hammering with your mouth? It was a thing apparantly! Even with these big stiff hooves. Apple Bloom could practically whack a nail into the wall in one blow with a stiff tap of her hoof, but that could chip the hoof apparantly, and there were protective braces you could wear to hammer with hooves, but ponies still used mouth hammers for precision work.
Yeah some of it sort of made sense, but some of it was obviously being exaggerated. Like Twilight said that her Applejack could use her mouth to lasso a uh, pegasus at a thousand feet in the air. That was just too much, and Twilight laughed along with everyone else, when everyone started laughing at that, so it was obviously just a joke, even if Twilight was laughing a little nervously, and also Sunset was looking the other way pointedly not making eye contact.
Ponies weren’t all that different from humans, in fact! Those two pony humans made sure to emphasize all the similarities, and didn’t really seem to think there were any differences worth mentioning. Apple Bloom was of a divided opinion about that, because she really did feel really freaking different as a pony, but she also was really grateful that not everything was changing about her. She still had her memories, and her sass, and her looks sort of. Her family even figured out ways to get her signature bow worked out, that Apple Bloom could put on her little pony head without issue.
“Let’s see the other Apple Bloom figure that one out!” Apple Bloom had said smugly primping at the pretty pink thing on her head.
“Yeah, sure,” Twilight said, wringing her hands together. “Let’s go with that.”
Apple Bloom sure didn’t know why Twilight was doing that with her hands. Something about confidence, if Apple Bloom was remembering right. Hands were just... crazy weird when you thought about them. Or, when you turned into a pony and thought about them. Apple Bloom never realized how much she used to use her hands to express herself nonverbally, until she didn’t have them anymore. It seemed like the longer she was a pony, the less confident she felt like she even knew what she was looking at!
That’s the last thing that Sunset and Twilight measured, in the three of them: body language. There were two categories of people here: girls that had just turned into ponies, and girls that had been ponies for a couple months. Apple Bloom found Sweetie and Scoots had this uncanny ability to figure out what Twilight was pantomiming, with Scootaloo saying, “No!” and Sweetie saying, “Worried!” and other stuff like “Stay there!” and “Thinking!” Apple Bloom was so lost, that her friends had to stop guessing, to give her a chance to answer at all. And she was pretty sure that “Arm wiggling” didn’t count as a non-verbal communication.
The daylight was getting long, and the other girls, the older ones at least, were all trying to get their homework done that was due on Monday. So they and Big Macintosh were pretty absent, even Sunset Shimmer having to take time to at least fill out the worksheets, even though she had them all memorized. Like, literally memorized. Cheerilee was a librarian, but she also taught Library Science, and just as much as students have to do their homework, teachers have to spend a lot of time making homework for the students to do. That left Twilight Sparkle, who used her extra-temporal knowledge to skip out on school this time around, and Granny Smith, who preferred to putter around in the kitchen, watching the four of them from across the counter with a fond twinkle in her wrinkly eyes at times.
While Twilight drilled them on human body language, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were both on top of the partially consumed hay bale, for them to sit on that is. They sat there on their bellies, letting their legs curl underneath them all pony style. Apple Bloom would have sat with them too, but she stood aside for this. She was really feeling too alienated right now to get all cozy next to them. Had she really gone and misinterpreted “That stinks” as meaning “That’s windy?”
So Apple Bloom was feeling a bit put out by just how much this transformation had affected her. Her memory seemed fine, but she was obviously thinking more like a pony, and more like a pony than her friends, likely from the amount of time she’d spent as one. It made Apple Bloom lose hope for regaining her humanity, if she was just becoming more and more like a pony every day, even if it was kind of comforting that she got to be a human-ish pony, not just some dumb animal. She was surprised then, when it was Sweetie who started to cry, not herself.
Apple Bloom stopped trying to figure out what squeezing your fingers in a ball and shaking them meant, though the shaking did look kind of angry-ish, and looked at her increasingly distressed friend out of the blue, saying, “Sweetie Belle, what’s wrong?!”
Sweetie shook her head, trying to choke back the whimpers saying “Nothing—ish... it’s sthupid I dunno... know whyy...” She just trailed off into stiff sobs then.
It was terrible. Sweetie was relatively noncommunicative here, and with her sister upstairs, there wasn’t anyone to comfort her. Apple Bloom jumped up on Sweetie’s other side on the hay bale, but Bloom just felt awkward, and helpless to assuage her troubled friend. Scootaloo looked the same, and she wasn’t the type to want to get all touchy feely, especially not with Sweetie acting so weirdly. Sweetie herself was sitting there trying to deny she was upset, while the tears were still coming out of her.
In the end Twilight just had to pick her up, and cradle her like a baby. Sweetie Belle said she didn’t want them to disturb Rarity over this but, she just really needed... a something. So Twilight gave her a something. Sweetie calmed down then, and her little voice said from a leery Twilight’s arms, “I think I’m okay now.”
“I’m jus’ upshet,” Sweetie Belle explained, once she was standing alone on her own feet, er, hooves again. “I didn’ wanna forget about handsz, and Apple Bloom was having so mush throuble. Tha’s going to happen to me hnow,” she asserted fretfully. “B-bud it’s no reashon to cry. I was jus’ feeling shad about... it, and it jus’ started to happen.”
“I’m so sorry, Sweetie,” Twilight said sincerely, down on her knees to be eye to eye with them. Those of them on the hay bale at least. “I was just trying to measure the psychosomatic acclimatization that seems to have a progressive effect. I didn’t even think it’d just remind you about... how your whole life is—about how something happened that you didn’t want. You must feel so helpless. I–I thought it would be comforting actually, not upsetting.”
“Comfor’ing?” Sweetie asked skeptically. “How would that work?”
“Well it’s like acclimatizing to your form,” Twilight explained. “You must feel so twisted up and bent right now, like you should be able to stand up, but you just can’t. But given a few months to acclimatize, I mean, look at Apple Bloom. She’s perfectly comfortable as a pony! You might lose a few subtleties of human interaction, but you could be more comfortable with yourself. I know I was.”
Sweetie just looked at Twilight confused and said, “But I am shtanding up. Whatha you mean?”
Twilight blinked at her, then Twilight’s expression flattened in understanding. “I mean on two legs,” Twilight clarified grumpily.
Sweetie looked at Twilight, and then looked down and—then raised her head in surprise, exclaiming, “Oh! I hadn’ even though’ ‘bout that! Wow that’s... ish true I should be sztanding on two legs.”
Sweetie reared her two white forelegs into the air, but quickly fell back to the hay bale she was standing on, her front hooves scrunching against the dry grass as they took her weight again.
“Oh no, I’m not making it worse, am I?” Twilight gasped, vaguely reaching for Sweetie, but unsure of what to do with her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel weird about being a pony. Just focus on your body, and try to assert to yourself what you’re really feeling. It’s completely normal what you feel, even if it seems so alien to you right now.”
“But thaz what’s weird,” Sweetie said giving Twilight a confused head tilt. “It’s hweird that I do feel normal. I’m jus’ standing.” She looked down at her forehooves, then lifted her head again. “I don’t feel weird, or alienh, or... or anything! If anything, standing on two feet feelrs weird. I can’t stay up there like tha’... that.”
“It’s entirely possible to do, Sweetie,” Apple Bloom offered, rearing up onto her own hind legs. “See?”
Apple Bloom balanced there as best she could, stepping a bit to correct herself. Her forelegs remained simply curled in front of her, but she didn’t require them to hold her weight. Nope, a bit of practice and even a pony could stand on two legs like this, and even walk a little bit. In fact with her tail laid on the ground, it gave Apple Bloom a strong support, a sort of tripod she could center herself on.
“That’s very good, Apple Bloom,” Twilight said honestly. “You’ve been practicing that a lot?”
Apple Bloom nodded. “Ah have. Not for no reason or nothing, just ‘cause I wanted t’see if ah could do it. Ain’t that hard you just gotta—w-woah. Stand there, all reared up like.”
“Looksh pretty goo’, Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo said in an impressed tone. “But your uh...” her tone turned embarassed as she looked away. “Your uh, under... plashe is showing.”
Apple Bloom immediately clopped her front hooves down. Then sat her hind hooves down, flattening her haunches against the straw. It was really scratchy and unpleasant, but she wasn’t feeling good about being so exposed right now. “S-s-sorry ah d-didn’t ah just,” she stammered, “I ain’t got no clothes on or nothing ah mean I do have clothes, but I wasn’t wearing ‘em because...
“...pplesauce...” she mumbled, red faced, into her hooves.
“Hey, cheer up Apple Bloom,” Twilight said in an appeasing tone, petting her back. “It’s perfectly normal for ponies to go without clothing. I respect your cultural need to wear them, but it’s no big deal if you go without for a while.
“Even if your ‘underplace’ is showing,” Twilight added, giving Scootaloo a disapproving look. Scootaloo just blushed guiltily.
“I don’t care if I can’t stand,” Sweetie said resentfully, drawing their attention again. “I don’ even care if I can’t. It doesn’ feel weird, and that’s hweird! Are we already turning into I–I mean, are we already forgetting about handsz?”
“It certainly is remarkable to acclimatize this quickly,” Twilight said thoughtfully. “I know it took me a few months, before I was even walking properly. I suppose it makes sense really.” She gestured at Sweetie Belle’s short white cylindrical legs, saying, “Humans have a much more complicated method of locomotion. From a simple physical standpoint, you’re much more stable on all fours as a pony, than on two feet as a human. Plus I didn’t have anypony to help me adjust, since Sunset was off being a little... well, that’s a story for her to tell. Apple Bloom here took months to get as confident as she is on four hooves, and if you do so faster, it’s just because you have such a wonderful friend willing to help you with all this.”
Apple Bloom’s assessment was more that Twilight was simply a very clumsy individual, whether human or pony, because even Apple Bloom had been walking pretty good after a week, not a month. She didn’t tease Twilight about it though. Wouldn’t do to brag about something as simple as figuring out how to walk, if all that bragging did was make someone who helped them so much feel like she wasn’t any good.
That night, the three of them were all snug in their bed. Which is to say, Apple Bloom’s bed. The three of them could easily fit in it, with some room to spare. The lights out, they still couldn’t sleep. With all those revelations brought to them, there was just too much to talk about.
“Can we hreally read tailsh now?” Scootaloo said in quiet disbelief, her own purple fanlike tail swishing underneath the covers.
“Don’t ask me,” Apple Bloom whispered back. “That’s what she said. But it makes sense if’n we don’t got hands to communicate body language with.”
“And ears,” Sweetie noted. “It’s a good... notta bad trade.”
“Unthil you try t’ lif’ something up wisth your ears,” Scootaloo offered darkly. It didn’t come out as darkly as she intended, when they all thought about a pony doing heavy lifting with only their ears and a little giggle fit broke out.
“We’ll figure it out,” Apple Bloom said eventually, with a sympathetic look toward Scootaloo. Apple Bloom snuggled her own hooves over the blanket that covered her and her friends, that warmed the three of them together. “Long as ah got you two,” Apple Bloom said gratefully, “Ah think we can get through anything!”
“Can’ belief there’s another world,” Sweetie whispered excitedly.
“And a thime thloop?” Scootaloo asked. She paused and repeated, “Loop?” more carefully. “Wha’s even hup with that?”
“Ah dunno, but it better be fixable,” Apple Bloom grumbled. “And we ain’t seen nothin’ about it yet. Ah dunno if those girls knew as much as they said they did.”
“I wish she would tell uzs why we’re crying so much,” Sweetie mumbled unhappily.
“I hknow,” Scootaloo said exasperated. “Can’ belief I wen’ and cried abouth a shtupid scrape!” She touched with a hoof, a band-aid weakly affixed to her elbow, on account of the trouble with sticking things to fur.
“Scoots, you flew like twenty feet through the air,” Apple Bloom said in an unimpressed tone. “Th’ fact you just got a scrape is darn lucky, but it’s still okay to cry about that stuff!”
“Yeah, but the... the ice cream...” Scootaloo grumbled disquietly.
“Ish probably just that poniesz are more h’emotional, or...stuff,” Sweetie said uncertainly, tugging her own portion of the blanket closer in the quiet, of the night that made their colorful fur blue and dim in the indirect moonlight. “Just natshural. We don’th eat meat, so... I mean hwe do, but...”
“It sure was real awkward t’hear ‘bout how their ponies don’t eat it, after we were already fighting over that beef strip,” Apple Bloom said with a blush. “Those pony girls looked so freaked over it.”
“We couldn’ pfull it aphart any other way,” Scootaloo said, “Should’ve jus’ asked Granny to cut it.”
Sweetie mumbled out apologetically, “Sorry for taking the middle pieshe. Should have shared it more.”
“It was fun enough watching you enjoy it,” Apple Bloom said lightly. “I never got that excited over a bit of meat.”
“’s just good,” Sweetie said, blushing hotly. “I don’t ushually get any, so ish kind of... it’s just nice.”
“Bether watch out Apple Blhoom, or Sweetie will gobble ush up in her shleep,” Scootaloo said in an exaggerated tone.
“It’s not that funny,” Sweetie mumbled, up to her nose in the blanket while the others giggled to either side of her.
They were quiet again until Sweetie yawned loudly despite herself. Scootaloo spoke up quietly, saying, “Do hyu think you’ll finhd the dream printhess...princess?” Poor Scoots was still having talking problems. She had been scampering around more than yakking, so Sweetie definitely had a head up on her there.
“Hope so,” Apple Bloom said. “Ah feel like she’s avoiding me or something. I keep ending up in like, dreaming about you two instead.”
“She can enter hyour dreams,” Sweetie suggested nervously, “so... can you enter our dreams?”
Apple Bloom couldn’t quite put her hoof on it, but there was something about the way Sweetie said that that wasn’t just an innocent curiosity. “I don’t think so, Sweetie,” she told her friend, “But why would you think that?”
“It’s silly,” Sweetie said in embarassment, ducking further under the covers, but continued. “Wasz dreaming a while ago, abouth being a hunicorn like a real unicorn, and then I was just this sthupid ...thing. And I dreamed abouth you, and you told me it wasz okay and I was still a good... unicorn.
“So um... thanks,” Sweetie mumbled, “If tha’ was you.”
“Ah had that exact same dream!” Apple Bloom uttered excitedly. “Do you think we really can? Ah just saw you and helped you up and stuff it was no biggie but, y’think we can?”
“If it happensh, I guesh?” Scootaloo said uncertainly. “Iunno how to make a hdream changsh to you or anything.”
“Well, just keep your eyes peeled,” Apple Bloom said hunkering down against her pillow. “Ah’ll try t’set up a lil’ something... thing the princess showed me, so try to find the sunset hill out back, when you dream. If we find each other it’ll be so cool. Ponies really do dream different, so maybe it’ll just work.”
“Don’t gesh your hopes up,” Scootaloo said unenthusiastically. “Hardly ever hremember my dreamths.”
Apple Bloom nodded into the darkness, and the three of them settled into their shared bed, drifting off on their way to enter the world of dreams.
Several minutes later, Apple Bloom threw her hooves up and exclaimed, “Awwh! Ah cain’t sleep now ah’m too excited!”
“Shouldn’t ha’ taken hthat long nap,” Scootaloo said teasingly to Apple Bloom, over the tiny, peaceful lump in the bed that was Sweetie Belle.