Chapter 11: I bet my mare can beat your mare.
Friday 11/27
-Xavier's POV-
-Recap-
Since Rainbow and I started dating about a month ago, things had ups and downs. Turns out I have made a few enemies that had eyes for Rainbow. I've had the unpleasantry of meeting one of them. What was his name, Fire Storm? Red pegasus stallion, black mane and tail with yellow highlights. Burning cloud as a cutiemark? What' his talent? He threw a piece of hail at me one day and threw a few ape-related insults my way. I just gave him the finger and walked the other way. I found out his deal when I asked Rainbow about him. I learned his name and relation to her. Apparently he's had a thing for her for years, or as Rainbow puts it, "That stallion has been fawning over me for years, and a few others ever since I became one of the elements. I don't blame 'em. I'm pretty awesome. Don't worry. I am the Element of Loyalty and you won me over first, monkey boy." That was reassuring from her, just not for the unknown number of enemies that were after her. I'm not too worried, but worried enough to carry a weapon on me. Who knows how crazy jealousy can turn stallions.
There have been a few double dates. Jack and I would take our mares out to places to eat or on picnics or whatever. They weren't all that comfortable with it. The other mares would sometime joke on them about their stallions taking them out. Apparently, in most Equestria, gender roles are reversed here. Only in Canterlot are the roles the same. Not because mares are physically stronger built than stallions. Males here win that round as well. It's just that there are five times more females here than there are males. The only place that actually have a close male/female ratio is Canterlot. That's the name of that huge palace sitting on top of a mountain. However, Jack and I are constantly reminding other ponies that it's the other way around where we're from. This got us two, along with the male humans that weren't there, a lot of attention. I saw Rainbow getting jealous again, and she wasn't the only one. AJ was shooting mean looks to anyone who looked at Jack in a hungry notion. They told both of us to stop telling everyone that. Rainbow was more clear "I just got you and I don't wanna share yet!" Yeah, I got enough attention from being an alien, I don't think I need anymo- Wait... what does she mean, 'yet?' Applejack seems to be holding a hidden grudge against me ever since I made her apologize to Apple Bloom. I wonder how she'd behave if Big Mac was the one that showed her up.
I have noticed that my phone went missing after Dash and I started dating. Two culprits came to mind. No, it's not Dash. I showed her its functions already, movies, games she needed fingers to play, but she just wasn't interested. One would be the pony that snuck into my house before, Lyra. The other being Twilight. I don't think she stole it, but the last time I saw it was when I went to the library. I probably left it there and she saw it. I sent her a letter saying if she found it to let me know and not to take it apart for study. I wrote that part in red ink and underlined it four times.
An interesting thing also happened last week. Jeff and I were at Sugarcube Corner for lunch. Jeff insisted that he bring his fish sandwich even though we were headed to a bakery. He said he needed some meat on his bones. That's just him. Flutteshy came in with these Navi-with-a-face looking bugs. Pinkie was a bit disturbed by them. However, those bugs ended up making one fatal mistake. They ate and completely ruined Jeff's lunch. In a relatively short moment, the 'Parasprites' as Pinkie called them, were gone. Pinkie said it was all for the better. Still, I don't think Fluttershy will be talking to Jeff for a while.
-Recap Over-
Brianna and Pinkie were playing Tennis on the Wii U. Jack and I just watched while talking to each other about guy stuff or just random things, like what our parents would think of us dating alien equines. Fluttershy was there.
"Could you tell me about the ponies from your world? ...If it's okay with you that is." She asked.
"Well in appearance, their eyes are way smaller than yours. Their faces are longer..." I started off.
"They're uglier too. You mares here are cute beauts." Jack added, causing Fluttershy to blush and hide behind her mane.
"And they only come in a few colors and patterns. No wings, no cutie marks, no horns, no magic. Can't talk either. Some are black, some are white, some are brown, tan, but that's about it. Oh, and all they know how to do is eat, poop, walk. Pretty much animals." I said.
"Oh... is that why Jeff calls us names?" She asked.
"Nah. Jeff's like that because he believes magical ponies and unicorns are for little sissy girls. His mind is a bit narrow though. That might change, but it'll probably take a while." I told her. "You ponies are like every little girls wish. Kinda like how girls want doll collections."
"Oh.."
"I thought you were still mad at Jeff for killing those parasprites right in front of you." Jeff said.
Fluttershy looked down. "I think i can forgive him... Pinkie said it was for the best... no matter.. how cute and fluffy they were.." She squeaked and started tearing up at the painful memories.
"They would've eaten all of our food, then Twilight would've tried to stop it by making them not hungry for food making them hungry for anything that wasn't food like our homes and Twilight's books and Rarity's clothes and everything that wasn't food!" Pinkie said, all in one breath!
We all stared at Pinkie or a moment. What is she on?
"Well. I'm glad a crisis was averted. Don't know what we'd do if anything happened to our home, ya know? It's kinda all we have left of... you know."
Fluttershy nodded her head. I heard a knock on my door. Either Dashie here to see me, AJ here to see Jack, Twilight or Lyra. I can't imagine it being anyone else, considering every other pony only stops by to make requests. They don't really need to knock on the door. They just sign a chart and write a request. Just a little system Bro thought of. I went to the door and opened it. It was Dash and Applejack.
"Hey Xavier!"
"Hey Rainbow, what's up?"
"Xavier." Applejack said, as if unhappy to see me. Guess she's still mad at me. I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Applejack!" Jack rushed past me and spun-hugged Applejack, who seemed to lighten up a little.
Rainbow looked at me expectantly.
"Nah, you're too awesome for that." I teased
She pouted when I said that.
"Woah, Miss Air Stunt. Didn't say I didn't have anything for ya." I scratched behind her ears. She loved it, a lot.
Applejack looked at Jack expectantly.
"So, Dash. What are you and AJ doing here?"
"Applejack and I challenged each other to an Iron Pony Competition and I want you to watch me beat Applejack." Rainbow answered.
"Yeah right. Ah'm better than you and you know it!" Jack's mare exclaimed.
"Well, how about this. The loser of this Iron Pony Competition will have to do something embarrassing." I said.
"Yeah! If Rainbow loses, which she will against my Applejack, you ride her all around Ponyville, all saddled up." Jack declared
I gave Jack the Damon Gant stare.
"No way!" Dash's blush told us that she was way uncomfortable with the idea.
"Why not? Ya scared?" AJ taunted.
"Fine! When I beat you, Jack will have to ride you all over Ponyville the same way." Rainbow countered.
"Deal!"
"So there we have it. Loser gets ridden by her coltfriend all around Ponyville."
Both mares spat on their hooves and shook on it.
I looked at Jack. "This day had just gotten interesting." Jack nodded his head in agreement.
Jack and I followed our mares to AJ's family orchard. We met up with Twilight and Spike there too. They wanted to know what was going on. We filled them in while leaving out the bet. I guess we both wanted to see what would happen when one of them lost. AJ asked Twilight to be the judge of the competition. Seems more fair than asking either me or Jack to be, because we're too close to the competitors. We arrived to where everything was set up, from obstacle courses to score boards and tents. Spike was playing announcer when everypony else came. I say 'everypony' because just the pony friends came. My bro and his friends were busy, and I'm guessing Brianna was still at home with Jonathan and Hiroto. Jeff was helping build an expansion on someone's house. Jack and I were the only humans there.
The first challenge was the Barrel Run. The ponies had to run around and in between the barrels from the start to finish without touching the barrels. Applejack was first. Jack and I decided to start placing bets. I bet Rainbow Dash would win this one. She is agile and dexterous. Jack said that if she used her wings, she'd probably knock over a barrel or two. Oh Jack. Just start giving me the bits now.
AJ took off running, dodging each and every barrel. Well, almost. She nicked one near the end.
"Seventeen seconds!" Spike said
"You're kiddin'! That breaks my record for last year's rodeo!"
"But you got a five second penalty for nudging the barrel."
I looked at Jack with a smug look on my face. He just Murphy'd himself. He tried hard to not look at me.
"She still has to beat twenty two seconds you know. And who's to say she won't knock over a few barrels herself?" Jack said, holding on to his bits.
Just then, Dash was up. Just as I predicted, she zipped through those barrels without even a fur or feather hitting one of them. Jack's jaw dropped as I popped the bits out of his hand and caught 'em. 18 seconds. And that's one for Rainbow, zilch for AJ. The next challenge was the ring-the-bell challenge. I was a bit concerned with this one. Applejack had more bucking strength than Dashie. All Dash ever did was buck clouds all day and perform stunts. Applejack actually bucked solid objects for a living. Dash went first and rung the bell though, so maybe they both would get a point.
NOPE!!!
Of course Applejack had to destroy the bell and get the point. Next was the 'Bronco Buck.' Whoever could get the rider off the fastest would win. Twilight was about to make Spike the rider, but then Applejack looked over in my direction.
"How 'bout we make this interestin'. I try to buck off Xavier while you try to buck off my coltfriend." Oh, so now we get to win a point for our girlfriends. Nice. Jack went up to Rainbow Dash and looked over at Applejack.
"I'm gonna win this for you, babe!" He said. In response, Applejack blushed and threw him her stetson.
"Here ya go, cowboy!" She said to him.
I looked at Jack for a moment as he mounted Rainbow. He really looked like he belonged in a rodeo.
"You better win this for me, monkey boy!" yelled Dash, giving me a wink.
"So, wanna get this over with?" I said, turning back to Appleja-
...
Shit... For a moment, I had completely forgotten about the major grudge she has against me. And she saw this as an opportunity to give me hell and earn points by doing so and took it. C'mon, what would Jack say to calm a mare down?
"Uh... For what it's worth-"
"Ya ain't sorry yet, butcha will be." She said, chuckling maliciously. Yup. She was after my blood. I prayed to God, hoping to have a nice room for me in heaven before hopping on this psychotic farm mare. As soon as Twilight said "Go!" I hung on for dear life. Applejack wasn't being merciful. She was giving her all. Atleast I was wearing boxer briefs that day or else I would be crying. My scream, putting Carlton Banks to shame, was all she needed to hear and was not letting up. Neither was I, because as soon as I let go, I knew she was gonna give me a taste of her hind hooves. No thanks. My focus was 100 percent on not letting go. I didn't even notice a flying Jack zipping over my head and out of the little rodeo.
"STOP! STOP! DASH WON THE CHALLENGE ALREADY!" I screamed.
She didn't stop. She wanted me to suffer. I made sure she didn't buck me off of her. I ended up jumping off to her side. My groin might not have hurt as much as it would have, but it still hurt. It was funny to everyone else except for Jack who was pulling his head out of a hay stack, and Dashie who was giving AJ a nasty look. Regardless, Dash won the point and helped me back to the benches.
Next, was the roping competition. Applejack wanted to use me again, but Dash caught on to her game this time and rejected the idea. Poor poor Spike was the one to be roped in my place. He looked pretty hilarious, standing there with a viking helmet. Needless to say, Applejack won that one, and a few ponies had to help untie Dashie from a tree branch.
The games went on as it drew more attention from the mares and stallions of Ponyville. Seats and clouds started filling up. AJ and Dash were trying hard. However, that was until Rainbow started using her wings to cheat. I didn't really know that it was against the rules to use magic or wings during an iron pony competition, but neither did anyone else. Dash was getting a lot of points, eventually being ahead 14 to 5. The next challenge was the tug of war challenge. AJ pulled Dash over the mud, but the later used her wings to hover over it. She pulled Applejack off of the ground and dropped her into the mud. Just then, Jack called bullshit.
"Rainbow Dash was over the mud first! Applejack's point!" Jack screamed over the cheering ponies.
"I guess technically he's right." Twilight notioned. A point went to Applejack.
Still, Rainbow Dash was happy with her lead.
"I AM THE IRON PONY!" cheered Dashie
"Only because you cheated!" Complained AJ
"What?!"
"You used your wing power ta help you win over half those contests!" She did.
"Sounds like sour apples to me." said Rainbow AJ: 1. RD: 0
"Are you saying you didn't use your wings?" She did, didn't she?
"Well, no, but you never said I couldn't use my wings!" I see her point. AJ: 1. RD: 1
"Ah didn't think ah needed ta tell ye ta play fair!"
"Rules should still be stated before competitions to avoid stuff like this from happening." I said, gaining a glare from Applejack telling me to shut up.
"I still would've won even without my wings!"
"Hah! Prove it!"
"Gladly! How?!" RD asked
"Tomorrow is the annual 'Runnin of the Leaves'. Ah challenge you ta race me in it."
"Hah! Easy peasy."
"Without using your wings." Jack finished for AJ.
"No wings, no problem!"
They once again spat on their hooves and shook on it.
Saturday 11/28
The next day, we all met at Whitetail Woods by the starting line. Pinkie was floating in her balloon, replacing spike as the announcer for the Running of the Leaves. The contestants were getting ready, including Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
"Make way for the Iron Pony" Rainbow said, squeezing herself to the line.
"More like the Iron Phony." Applejack just made a burn.
"So Applejack. Ready to saddle up for Jack?"
"Ahm ready to run a good clean race!"
"Yeah, yeah."
"You are not allowed to use your wings!" AJ said
"I can win this race with both wings tied behind my back!" Rainbow taunted.
You dun did it now, Dash.
As Applejack tied Rainbow's wings to her back, Jack and I made bets from aside.
"Dashie's all about speed, ya know. I bet she'll leave AJ in the dust."
"Yeah right. In the air, maybe, but she's grounded. On the ground, it's all about horsepower, and my cowgirl's got more of it than your weather mare."
"10 bits goes to the winner."
"Deal!" Jack spat on his hand and held it out towards me. I grabbed his hand and slapped him in the face with it. "You bastard." He said, unamused.
The sound of trumpets brought the two humans' attentions to the starting line. Twilight decided to join in the running. Both Rainbow and Applejack found this hilarious. I can't really laugh considering Twilight probably runs faster than I do. If only this was a parkouring competition.
Anyway, the race was off. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were neck in neck. That's all I could see before they were gone. So bored. Fuck it! I took off running after them. Jack decided to join me soon after. We caught up to Twilight after a while.
"Hey. Why are you two running?" She asked.
"I just got bored." We both said in unison.
"Hey, shouldn't you run faster to catch up to the others?"
"Not really. I'm just enjoying the scenery and my first time running."
"Ah. Sounds like a plan. Wouldn't wanna tire ourselves out." With that, we both stayed at Twilight's pace, which for us was walking speed. For her, it made things more interesting. This gave her an opportunity to ask more questions about Earth. Soon, we somehow caught up to Applejack who was sprawled on the ground.
"Woah! I don't believe it!" AJ said.
"I know. It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"Not the scenery, Twilight! Rainbow Dash tripped me!"
Twilight looked around for a little and saw a large rock buried in the ground that perfectly lined up to where AJ ended up.
"No, she did not."
"Did too!"
"She did not! If you slowed down and looked where you were going, like me, you'd see that you tripped over a rock." Twilight said, pointing to the rock.
"What? Oh hay seed! Now ah got a lotta ground ta make up ta catch Rainbow!" AJ said, watching all of the ponies run off without her, Rainbow in the lead.
"Just be careful!" Twilight warned.
"See ya at the finish line!" AJ yelled back.
With that, AJ was gone.
"Still legit." I said, smugly.
Jack shrugged his shoulders. "I guess."
Not long after, we came across Rainbow Dash who had tripped over a tree stump. She blamed Applejack by saying she tripped her. Twilight had to correct her just like she did Applejack. However, Rainbow was a bit more hesitant to believe it than AJ. She left to catch up afterwards.
"Still legit?" Jack said smugly.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess."
The next we saw of her was when we caught up to her leaning on a sign post.
"Hey rainbow, shouldn't you be up ahead?"
"I'm sure I'll win now."
"Except that the other racers just passed you."
"Oh horse apples! See ya!" Rainbow said, dashing ahead.
That wasn't the last time we saw them. They were both sliding down a slab of stone when we passed them both. At this rate, we may even beat them by just walking. That's when Twilight took off, passing all of the exhausted ponies ahead.
"Later boys!" She taunted.
"No you DON'T!!" Jack and I replied at the same time.
We both ran past Twilight. Well, Jack did. I decided to troll and jump over her, which in turn she decided to troll me by giving me an arcane blast to the glute. Jokes on her. Sure that blast caused me to go flying, but I flew ahead, zipping past the rest of the ponies, making 1st. I landed right on my ass.
Twilight stayed in 5th, Jack got 6th. Guess who got last. Not Rainbow, Not Applejack. They both got last as they were catfighting when they crossed the finish line. Jack and I were laughing when they found out they lost to us. They were so busy fighting each other to pay attention to the other runners. The funny thing was, they lost to those who didn't officially participate so Jack and I didn't get any medals.
Instead, both of us got surrounded by a gold aura and lifted off the ground. This caused Jack to panic as the first thing that ran through his mind was him being abducted by a spacecraft.
"What the hell?!?" He yelled.
I wasn't lifted as high as he was though. Around me, ponies started to bow.
"Do not struggle." I heard a stern motherly voice behind me. "Or you will be even more restrained." We both struggled anyway. That's when I started finding it hard to move. Jack was frozen in place. "You have been warned."
Something else you should know about me. I'm claustrophobic as hell! I'm bad in close spaces for the reason of extreme discomfort and not being able to move. I was still struggling. After a while I broke out of the mysterious grip while Jack remained levitated. I was freaking out! Not once have I ever been lifted by any one of these ponies.
"It seems you have strong resistance to even my magic." I turned my head around to the voice, standing up. This wasn't a pony. This was a fucking pure white Pegacorn Horse that was taller than I was. She was wearing a crown and a regalia along with gold-plated horseshoes that screamed I am fucking royalty, bitch! Her multicolored mane spelled I AM BENEVOLENT!! "Before I ask what you are, you will tell me of your intentions and how many of there are you."
They say fear makes you do crazy things. I've been in a similar situation when faced with someone who looked intimidating and could probably kill me with ease if they wanted to. I did the only thing I was taught how to do when facing such a situation.
"A-am I being detained? Am I a suspect of c-committing a crime?"
I mentally berated myself I do not think this is the same situation as being pulled over!
"Answer my question?" Queen Horsey Time repeated.
"Princess! Wait!!!" Twilight, AJ, and Rainbow yelled at the same time, raising from their bow. Princess?
"They're our friends! They aren't a threat!" Twilight told her mentor.
"I saw you use an arcane blast when he ambushed you." the princess told her.
"Princess! It was just us messing around! He joined the race out of boredom. Please, let Jack go!" She did.
Jack hit the ground. I turned to the newcomer. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN?!?! You just come up here and just start liftin us around and stuff and then you start demanding shit from me?! What is your deal?!?"
The princess glared. Twilight trotted up to me. "Xavier! That's Princess Celestia! The ruler of Equestria! You should be respectful!"
"Twi, honey, where I'm from, that would be just a title. I was raised to give respect to those who respects me, and this princess technically attacked us before we even saw her!"
Twilight pleaded "Please, just bow."
"I bow down to no man/pony."
I expected her to incinerate me with a fire spell or something, but she seemed to calm down instead.
"I apologize. However, I must ask, for the safety of my ponies, what are you doing here in Equestria?"
"Well, trying to live my life? Same as everyone else here?"
"What are you? Where are you from?"
"Species, human aka homo sapiens. Planet Earth. Oh, my name is Xavier Roberts, by the way." I said in a 'you need to learn how to talk to people' manner.
She seemed to have caught on to this. "I am Princess Celestia Solaris. As my student informed you, I am the co ruler of Equestria. I apologize for my hostility. I did not know if you were a threat or not. And you seem to have strong resistance to even my magic than your friend.
Twilight stepped in. "It's because humans are born in a world without magic, so magic just passes through them. Just like how ghosts can't touch the living directly while they can touch other ghosts. His clothes were made back from his world, where there isn't any magic. Jack, his friend lying on the ground there, Rarity made his clothes weeks ago. Clothes made that's surrounded by magic. Therefore he is more affected by magic. If he were to take his clothes from Rarity off, then he'll be just as immune as Xavier."
Everyone stared at Twilight. "You are.... quite studious, my faithful student."
Jack looked at the Princess. "Can I go home now? I'm kind of scared out of my mind, and I'd rather not be magicked to death at the age of 19."
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "You are only 19?"
"Yeah. I am too." I said to her.
Celestia turned to me. "How many of there are you?"
"Seven of us. Four young adults, one teen, and two kids. Little siblings."
"Where are your elders? Your parents?" She asked.
"Back at home. On my world I mean. We just appeared here one night. Me, my siblings, and the others, along with my entire house a few months ago."
"Well. I must say I am very sorry to have treated you like a hostile being, but there are many dangers here, both old and new. I am only doing what is best for my little ponies. Who is in charge of your group?"
AJ pointed to Jack, Rainbow and Twilight pointed their hooves at me.
"Woah woah woah! That title belongs to the most responsible. That would be my older brother, Traevon. Most likely, he's snoozing, or busy with helping 'your little ponies.'" I quoted my fingers.
"I would very much like to meet him."
"You probably will whenever we use the Grand Galloping Gala tickets you gave us."
"You are the extra friends Twilight made?"
"Well, yeah."
"Well, any friend of my student's is a friend of mine."
"I won't have to start bowing to you, will I?"
"We're friends, but you're not one of my subjects. Plus..." she leaned in close whispering. "I'd rather have somepony other than my sister that doesn't feel the need to bow to me for a change."
"Gotcha." I said, scratching behind her ears. It seems all ponies, even their princess, loves being scratched there.
"Watch it, human. You wouldn't want me to enjoy that too much." She joked.
I laughed a bit. Everyone saw us laughing and calmed down a little.
"Well, I'm glad the ruler here is chilled. I think we'll get along just fine. Just uh, no more stun magic. I hate being contained."
"I think I can manage to resist. As long as you don't harm any of my little ponies." She was serious at the end.
"None will be harmed unless they have an intent to harm me or my kin/friends without good reason." I stated.
"Fair enough." She replied. "I have duties to attend to. Until next time, Mr. Roberts."
"Please. Mr. Roberts is my father." This earned me a look from Jack.
The princess giggled before taking off. I was glad I wasn't going to have to deal with a tyrant princess. That would not be any good at all. Rainbow and Applejack had to run the rest of the leaves off of the trees. I decided to wait until they got back. Jack did too. They probably forgot, but we didn't. When they got back from running the leaves off of the trees, we stood there with grins on our faces.
"Somethin on yer minds?" AJ asked.
"Yup. You forgot about the deal. You know, loser gets saddled and ridden all around Ponyville." Jack said
"W-well, it was a tie!" Rainbow argued. This caused both me and Jack to grin wider.
"Yes. For last place. Meaning you both lost."
Rainbow and Applejack gulped in unison.
"Saddle up tomorrow, girls." Jack said.
Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.