Chapter 10: It's the hood, isn't it?
Saturday 10/17
-Xavier's POV-
- Recap -
It's been a little over a week since my six pony friends and Jeff came back from what I now dub, 'Dragon Mountain'. Jeff is alright, but he is in a wheelchair. Funny thing, it hasn't been invented yet. Whenever a pony gets injured, he/she gets healed in the hospital with magic spells slash medicine, so they heal faster. Unfortunately for us non-magical humans, we are from Earth, a planet in a dimension that has no magic. Somehow, that means that magic doesn't effect us as much and most spells don't work on us. Twi said something about the body not being born of magic or some magical science mumbo jumbo. Anyway, Bro, Hiroto and I put our heads together, drew the blue prints, and eventually went each way to gather materials. We ended up splitting up. I went to Sweet Apple Acres to get more unusable wood from the Apples (Big Mac helped me that time as AJ was still uneasy with me after being publicly called out during the Trixie incident) and to get stuff from Nutz and Boltz. Hiroto went to the local blacksmith and gave the blueprints for the seats frame and wheel. Bro and I chipped in a few bits to pay the guy. It took a few days for him to make everything. We put everything together. Bro went to the furnature store to get pillows to cushion the seat while the blacksmith was busy. After everything was done, we put the pieces together, and Jeff had a wheelchair. He was able to move around while being healed. Ponies had no use for wheel chairs, but the little ones did find riding on Jeff's lap fun. I think he has a soft spot for kids, or maybe it's his state.
A couple of days later, Jack managed to get AJ to talk to me again. I mean, she stopped giving me the death glare ever since they returned from Dragon Mountain since she knew I cared and all, but she was still mad at me calling her out on her flaws in front of everyone. Apparently Jack used her own element against her. "I told her that you were being honest with her being a hypocrite, and she couldn't honestly deny it." he told me. Well played, Jack. Really clever. This led her apologizing. Now all that's left is Rarity. To be honest, she can stay mad at me. I won't have to hear her whining around me. She's a whiner. She complains. She's a bitch who doesn't wanna get her hooves dirty, she's a proud hypocrite, oh and you can add thief to the list. Jeff told me what she did. That made me glad I wasn't there. I might have lost it and threw her off the cliff. Spike forgot about the entire thing once he was done with his punishment a few days ago. Well, I guess that's cool. Dash Pinks and I were pulling pranks again yesterday. Hell, when Jack was done, he even joined us. Because why not? We all had our inner trolls that needed to be fed. I went up on Rarity a little bit that time. I threw a balled up scarf through her window. It had Winona's landmine wrapped in it (Yes. Jack helped me with this one.) It wasn't until after we pranked Twilight with an airhorn did we hear Rarity's scream. It was a fun day yesterday.
-Recap over-
This morning was once again, uneventful. The same old morning routine; eat, bathroom, everything else. I looked at the lists of requests for today and marked off the ones I was going to do. The rest, I left for Jack and Bro. The first thing on my list was to help Bonbon put together a new stall that she can drag around ponyville to where all of the customers are. Smart idea. I was a bit hesitant. The mint green unicorn, Lyra Heartstrings. She snuck into our house one night. I remember waking up with her rubbing my hands against her face. Bonbon assured me it wouldn't happen again. Anywhoozle, I was walking over to Bonbon's when I noticed that fine morning, Ponyville was awfully quiet and deserted looking. That was until I saw Twilight walking around Town Square with Spike on her back.
"Where is everypony?" She asked.
I decided to follow them.
"Is it some sort of pony holiday?" Spike said.
"Not that I know of." Twlight responded
"Maybe my breath stinks?" Spike said, blowing his green fire breath.
"Not more than usual." She said. Spike got burned!!!
"Is it... Zombies?!?" Spike said, a bit worried.
"Eh, not very likely." I took this as my opportunity. My inner troll needed breakfast today. I rolled my eyes upwards as I started running towards them, my arms flailing like a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man.
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAARHWAAAAAAARGH!!!"
This scared the living shit out of the unicorn and dragon. I couldn't help but to laugh.
"Xavier!" Twilight yelled. I couldn't really catch my breath. "That's real mature! Spike is just a-"
"Twilight!" Twilight was cut off. "Spike! Xavier!"
We looked towards the noise coming from Sugarcube Corner and saw Pinkie, whisper-yelling at us.
"Come here! Hurry! Before she gets you!"
Well, I know one thing for sure. If Pinkie Pie is spooked, we should all be. I hurried in behind Twilight only to be met with a flashlight.
"Who exactly are we hiding from this time? Last time it was me."
"What are you doing here alone in the dark?" Twilight continued.
"I'm not here alone in the dark." She shined the light around us revealing five more ponies plus human in the room. Apple Bloom and Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity, and Fluttershy along with my sister Brianna. She along with the ponies were hiding.
"Okay, what are all of you doing here in the dark?" Twilight asked.
"We're hiding from her!" Applejack said, opening the curtains. There was a lone pony wearing a cloak with a hood over her head. She seemed to be digging for something. That was until she looked over in our direction. Everyone but me and Twilight ducked for cover.
"Didja see her Twilight? Didja see Zecora?"
"Who?"
"Apple Bloom! Ah told ya not ta say that name!"
"She just turned her head." I said, staring at them.
Pinkie zipped up to me. "Evily this way!"
"And then the bunch of you flip out for no reason."
"No good reason? You call protectin your kin no good reason?"
Apparently, these ponies all ran away from the poor pony out there at first sight. The first thing they did was run in here and hide, just like they did when I walked into town.
"She's mysterious." Said Fluttershy.
"Sinister" Said Dashie
"And Spoooooky!" Pinkie emphasized.
"It's the hood, isn't it?" I asked, giving them all the Damon Gant stare afterwards.
As if this Zecora could hear me, she removed her hood revealing her to be a zebra with large gold earrings, neckbraces, and bracelets. How much do you wanna bet she has an African accent? Everyone gasped.
"Will you cut that out?!" Twilight said, just as annoyed as I was.
"Just look at those stripes! So garish!" Rarity said, to my chagrin.
"She's a zebra." Both Twilight and I said in unison.
"A what?!?" Everyone asked. Twilight looked at me, confused.
"You have zebras on your world too?"
"Yup. They can't talk either. They live far from where I live though in a continent called Africa."
"That's interesting. And Rarity, the stripes aren't a fashion sense, it's what she was born with."
Rarity fainted.
"That makes you a racist too, Rarity." I narrowed my eyes at the marshmallow colored mare. I hit the nail right on the head with that one.
"I am not!"
"Born where? Ah never seen a pony like that in these parts, except her." She said fearful.
"She's probably not from here. And she's not a pony. My book say zebras came from a far away land, but I've never seen her in Ponyville. Where does she live?"
"That's just it." Applejack said. "She lives in the Everfree Forest!"
Just then, Spike knocked over a lot of pots and pans trying to get some snacks, scaring the shit out of everyone.
"Spike!"
"Sorry." Spike said sheepishly.
"The everfree forest is unnatural!" Applejack continued. "The plants grow."
"Hm. Kinda like Earth."
"The animals care for themselves."
"Like Earth."
"And the clouds move..." Said Rainbow
"ALL ON THEIR OWN!!" they all finished.
Rarity fainted again. Drama queen...
"Like Earth."
All eyes were on me.
Rainbow was the first to ask. "What do you mean?"
"My world is called Earth. Plants grow by themselves, clouds move by themselves, the Sun and moon moves by themselves. Wild animals take care of themselves. Either feed off of plants or other animals. No weather control, no raising and lowering the moon. Everything happens by itself."
There were even more talks about how evil she was. Pinkie wrote a song about it. It scaring Applejack to no end. Apple Bloom looked unphased through the entire ordeal. I was pretty much tuning everything out until Twilight asked the number one question.
"Tell me, what exactly have you seen Zecora do?"
"Well, once a month, she comes into Ponyville." Dash said. Did she come last month?
"OOOH!" she shouted with sarcasm.
"Then she lurks the stores."
"OH MY!" she said with false drama
"And then she digs at the ground."
"GOOD GRACIOUS!!" she said, making fun of them. I was trying my best to hold back my laughter. Seems like Twilight has an inner troll too.
"Okay, I'm sorry. But how is any of this bad? Maybe she just comes to town to visit?"
"Yeah, maybe she's just tryin to be neighborly?"
"And maybe she's not lurking around the stores. She's going to them. Lurk free! To do some shopping?"
"Makes sense to me."
"Yeah, everypony likes to shop! You know what I think?"
"Apple Bloom! Hush and let the big ponies talk!"
"Woah! Rude!" Brianna intervened
"Us big ponies are talkin!" Applejack told her.
"Apple Bloom and Twilight both have points, Applejack." I said, irritated. "It's kinda messed up when you just downright dismiss a claim just because it came from a seven year old." Applejack shot me another look, but I didn't flinch. I knew deep down, I was right, again. She saw this and motioned me to the kitchen area. I decided to humor her.
"You're gonna stop doin' that or we won't get along." Applejack warned.
"Stop doing what? Calling you out on your wrong doings? I'm pretty sure Jack would do the same thing if he were here." I explained.
"And yer not gonna undermine me in front of my sister!" She exclaimed
"Fine. I'll let you push her away on your own, Miss Know-it-all." I said in my 'not give a shit' tone.
I walked back to the entrance when Applejack noticed Applebloom was gone.
"Where's Apple Bloom?!?"
"The door's open!" Fluttershy pointed out.
"She went outside!" Said Rarity
"And Zecora's still out there!" Dashie exclaimed.
"That silly lil filly! I told her to stay put!" went Applejack.
I shook my head at AJ and went after them. I told Brianna to stay behind with Spike. We crossed Jeff and Jack on the way there. They decided to join us to help look for the runaway Apple Bloom. We found her in the Everfree Forest going after the Zecora.
"Apple Bloom! You get back here right now!" Applejack demanded.
The zebra then turned around to all of us. "Beware! Beware you pony folk! Those leaves of blue are not a joke!" She spoke in an African accent. Called it!
"You keep your creepy mumbo jumbo to yerself, ya here?!" yelled Applejack as she scooped up her sister.
"Applejack, that's racist!" I scolded. "Just because she's bla- I mean a zebra doesn't mean she uses voodoo or whatever!"
"That's a zebra?!" Jack said.
"Yup. Black and white stripes. Rarity thinks it's garish." I continued.
"Oh Rarity, you're such a racist." Jack teased.
Rarity gasped again. "I am NOT a racist!"
"Beware! Beware!"
"Yeah, back at ya, Zecora! You and your lame curse are the ones who better beware!"
Applejack looked back at her sister. "And you! Why couldn't you listen to yer big sister?"
Apple Bloom stuttered.
"You're partly to blame too, Applejack." I turned around to head back. "Keep this up, it's gonna turn around to bite you." I walked off. I could feel her eyes burning through the back of my neck. I didn't care. I just walked home with Jack and Jeff in tow. The rest of the day went pretty average til night time.
Sunday 10/18
I woke up the next morning to a woman screaming. It came from the bathroom. I got up and went to the bathroom and that's when I saw her.
She was a tall blonde human female looking at herself in the mirror. I haven't seen anything curvier. She looked like she was sized double D that was having a hard time fitting inside of her tank top. Holy fuck this chick was fucking hot!!! I opened my mouth to say 'Who are you.'
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayum gurl you be lookin fine up in herr! Who you is?" I said instead. I covered my mouth. What the hell?
"IT'S JEFF YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!!!" She responded Holy shit, she's wearing Jeff's clothes... and she's not in a wheelchair.
"Oooooh shit! Hold up!!! Hold up!! Its about to get down in here! How in da hell did you turn into a fine piece of ass?" I didn't wanna say but said anyway.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!?" She asked.
"Da fuck if I know, bruh! I sound like I be belongin in da hood, mang! This shit's be fuckin stereotypical."
Trae came out of his room trying to find out what the commotion was about, but then he saw female Jeff. "Who are you?"
"Yo man, dis shit's be crazy, dawg, you don't even know! That fine ass hoe be Jeff!" I covered my mouth again. I just called Jeff a hoe! She gave me a death glare.
Bro stared at me talking like I'm from the streets, and then stared at the hottie wearing Jeff's clothes. He went back to his room, closed the door, and locked it.
"Yo man you know me dawg, you know I don't be goin around and callin fine girls hoe and all dat, man somethin be wrong up in dis bitch!"
"Guys... just shut up and let me mope in misery..." A third voice said from downstairs.
"Jack?" Jeff and I went downstairs. Instead of meeting with my usual Spikey haired outgoing and cheerful best friend, I was met with a droopy haired shy emo guy in Jack's clothing.
"What do you guys want?" He asked in a depressing tone.
"Oh hell naw! This some fucked up shit right here, man! You aint goin emo on me are ya?"
That's when we heard a hard thunk against our door.
"Dafuck?" I said as I went to the door and opened it. It was Rainbow Dash. She was on the ground, dizzy. "Ey gurl watcha want?"
"Xavier! I dunno what happened! My wings were upside down when I woke up! Something's wrong with Pinkie too! I think we've been cursed!" She looked at me. "You seem normal though."
"Yo they aint nothin normal about dis shit, cuz!" I told her.
"You're talkin funny." She looked past me and saw Jeff. She then looked back at me. "Who's she?! Is she somepony you felt the need to hide from me?! Huh?! Explain yourself! Who is she?!"
"Yo, bitch, you need to chill the fuck out, gon be comin up in here talkin ta me like dat, who da fuck you think you is?!"
Jeff came up behind me. "Don't worry, Skittles, it's me. Jeff. And yes I'm a fucking woman now.." He calls her that too?
"Why am I alive?" Jack mumbled, walking past us and out the door.
"What's his deal?" Rainbow asked.
"Gurl I dunno but shits be fucked up." I told her.
"We should go to Twilight. She gotta know how to fix this!" Rainbow said in a worried tone.
"Lead the way, Skittles." Jeff said.
Rainbow tried to fly, but she ended up crashing again. Jeff suggested she stay grounded. While on the way to the library, I noticed Jeff was getting a lot of looks from stallions. A few started following her. Her boobs wouldn't stop bouncing. I started to chuckle. I heard a huff from in front of me. I looked at Dash and she was giving me a glare that could kill. I turned around. There were 6 stallions tailing us.
"If you pansy ass fucking ponies do not stop following me, I will kick all of your asses!" Said Jeff.
"Yeah, man what da fuck is yalls problems man, yall some thirsty -n word-, man get da fuck back!"
When the stallions dispersed, I focused ahead of me.
"Ey Dash, man yo ass lookin ripe as fuck, gurl!" I covered my mouth. Why did I just say that?!
Rainbow's head snapped forward. I could see her head turn red as she started to speed up a bit.
"Ey gurl I'm just sayin!"
"Xavier, just shut the fuck up." Jeff said.
"Aight, girl, aight. Don't be gettin yo titties in a bunch." This earned me a death glare from both Dash and Jeff. I can see why Jeff's pissed, but Dash?
We made it to the library. Everyone else was already there. Pinkie had a giant blue-spotted tongue. Rarity had too much hair, Applejack was the size of a cockroach, standing on Apple Bloom's back. Fluttershy sounded like Barry White. Everyone looked at me and the other two humans. People could visually see what was wrong with Jack. Spike walked up to Jeff.
"Hey uh you look nice. What's your name?" He asked, giving her the same look he usually gave Rarity. Oh boy...
"Not interested, kid. It's Jeff. The one that had you in a hardhat." Jeff said. Spike jerked back, doing a double take.
"Holy moley! Jeff! You're a beauty! You look more beautiful than Rari-uuuh...." Spike caught himself before he said something he'd regret. I couldn't see Rarity's face. I wanted to, but her shaggy mane was covering her entire head. That's when everyone turned to me.
"Xavier, what about you? You seem normal." Twilight asked
"Trust me Twilight, you don't wanna know." said Dashie.
Twilight ignored her, getting uncomfortably close, especially with her horn...
"Gurl if you dont get yo floppy dick lookin horn outa my face wit that shit?!" I unintentionally said, covering my mouth after everyone cringed. Jeff and Dash were the only ones laughing.
Applejack glared at me again. "You kiss yer mother with that mouth? There are children here!"
"Bitch dont be lookin at me like that! I'll stomp yo ass!" I covered my mouth again. "My bad!" I didn't want to say anything else. That was until she said something.
"Such barbaric behavior! Such vulgar language!" said Rarity
Dash covered Apple Bloom's ears.
"Bitch yo shaggy dog lookin ass! How much you pay for yo haircut? 20 bits? You paid 18 too much, wit yo caterpillar lookin ass, bitch imma throw dirt on you and make you faint! Over there lookin like you belong on a fuckin mop!"
"OKAY!" Twilight intervened "I think we all know what's wrong with Xavier."
"He's rude!" Rarity said, sounding like she's crying.
Jeff looked at me. "Alright. Don't talk."
"Aight! Aight." I said.
"I think we'll find the cure to this curse at Zecora's place!" Dash said.
"It's not a curse!" Twilight argued.
Applejack spoke up next "Ah agree with Dash! Well go to Zecora's and force her to remove this hex!"
"It's not a hex either!"
They bickered for a moment. I wanted to say something so bad, but I knew something else would come out. I noticed Apple Bloom walking out and followed her, leaving them to bicker. I followed her to the Everfree forest. Man, she was fast. Upon entering, she stopped. I just saw Applejack pop out of her mane.
"Turn around right now, missy!" I heard her say.
"No!" Apple Bloom responded.
"NO?!? You can't ignore a direct order from your big sister!" Applejack stated.
She was then tossed into the air and caught by her little sister's mouth before being set on a branch.
"Sorry Applejack, but Ah'm the big sister now." Apple Bloom said smugly as she left her there.
"Apple Bloom! You come right back here this instant! Ahm gonna tell Big Macintosh on you!!" She screamed on the top of her lungs.
I decided to troll. I leaned my head in front of Applejack, shook my head, and followed her little sister. I hope Applejack learned her lesson. I soon caught up to Apple Bloom. I put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped. I put my finger over my mouth, and gave her a thumbs up. She smiled at me and continued to Zecora's. We soon found a hut that looked like one from an African tribe. I say again, CALLED IT! There were masks all over. We knocked on the door. The zebra opened the door quickly, pulled Apple Bloom inside, and closed the door on me. I heard voices inside, but eventually the door opened and the zebra came out.
She inspected me for a bit. "My my, what have we here. An unknown creature who caused me quite a fear."
I simply shrugged.
"I have been to many places, from and to, but I have never met a creature such as you."
I smiled. I didn't wanna talk because it might give a bad first impression.
"A ferocious creature such of your self is shy? Are you afraid? I don't know why."
"He says mean and weird things when he talks. Somethin happened to him, mah sister and her friends."
"I have an idea what may have caused this to be. You, creature. Your tongue I must see."
I stuck out my tongue. Hm. Didn't notice the blue spots.
"I know what's wrong with you and your pony folk. They have been effected by the blue flowers, poison joke."
In rhyme, she explained that we had walked into a plants with blue pedals. They are like poison oak, but with different results. Like nature was playing a prank on us. So she had me gather ingredients. She was about to ask Apple Bloom to do it, but I wouldn't let a kid go out there alone. She was gonna stay there with Zecora. She just told me to gather a few ingredients. It didn't take long. I guess I remembered my way back. When I got back however, the ponies were peeking through the window, talking about how she has Apple Bloom under a curse.
"Da fuck yall talkin about?" Everyone screamed in shock, even Jeff. "It aint no gotdamn curse! Yall talkin like a bunch of crazy people who's lost their gotdamn minds. Someone need to go upside yo heads! Move out my way!" I went inside, followed by the others.
That's when everything was explained. Not only did everyone apologize to Zecora for judging a book by its cover, but he cure was brewed and hell, Jack even made AJ apologize to Apple Bloom for getting angry at her open-mindedness. We all bathed at the spa with the 'curing salts'. Jeff had to cover her top before she bathed. After a while, he didn't need to cover himself anymore for he was a manly man once again. I didn't tell him that I snuck a few pictures of him while he was R63'd. I'll never forget what the anatomy of a grown human female supermodel looks like. Good thing guys will never think about going through other guy's phones. I apologized to everyone for the things I've said and explained to them that whenever I tried to say one thing, something else came out. Even Applejack seemed to have understood. One thing was certain, I was so glad I was no longer talking like a thug. I'm also glad Jack isn't a downer anymore, his hair taking its usual shape. Everyone was back to normal.
After our bath, Dash followed me, Jeff, and Jack home. Dash was a bit quiet. I was going to have to talk to her. Everyone else went to the living room, but I motioned her to come upstairs with me. We both went in our rooms and sat on our beds. She was sitting all the way on the other side, her fore hooves crossed.
"Is there an issue?"
"Oh I dunno, you were eyeing Jeff and taking pictures of him with that thing of yours when he was a female! It's nothing, really!"
"Rainbow, are you jealous?" I asked.
"It's because I'm not human, isn't it?!"
"Dash, are you jealous?"
"NO! Maybe.. Just..." I placed a finger over her mouth.
"You're jealous, aren't ya?" I teased.
"No! Stop it! Like I'd be jealous of Jeff!" She gave out a rather forced laugh. There's only one way to get true emotions out of girls like her.
"Look. I won't lie. I have thought about it. I don't know how it'll work. I mean, you're a pony. A quadruped at that. I never thought a pony would fall for me."
I could see tears falling from her eyes. Not to mention her ears drooped to her side. She was giving me the sad puppy eyes. Yup. She liked me. She really did have a thing for me. All this time, and I couldn't see it. Lucky for her, I wasn't finished.
"However. Looking at Jack and AJ, they're making it work and they've been making it work for about a month now. I think you deserve a chance. Not only that, but I'm a bit curious myself what it's like to be with a pony. So why the hell not?"
Before I knew it, I was pinned on my back, Rainbow glaring down at at me. Her face then turned into a teary eyed smile.
"You're a jerk, monkey boy, you know that?" She said.
"I guess I'm your jerk then, Skittles."
We then shared the first kiss in our relationship. Should've closed the door. I caught Bro peeking from his door. I saw him. He saw me see him. He closed the door, startling Dash. The only thing I heard from the other side being:
"Nope!"
