7 Human in Ponyland

by shiftylookingcow

Chapter 6: How do you like these apples?

Saturday 9/19th

Wow. Our lives here has gotten better ever since we became a resident of Ponyville. Ponies started warming up to us after a few days, especially when they found out how 'handy' us humans were when it came to jobs. Hah! Get it? As it turns out, our unique hands and fingers are more efficient with performing tasks than with hooves. Our height makes us even more useful. We can reach places they couldn't, and climb trees to get kites unstuck. Cliche', I know, but that did actually happen. That's not all that's happened. Twilight used her new teleportation spell to teleport the entire house to our designated location. Of course we had to take apart the solar powered generator first so it didn't get damaged, and Twilight spent the rest of the day resting up afterwards. That wasn't too big of a problem for her because she had a couple of helping hands. I also learned from Twilight that Equis time and Earth time are pretty much the same. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 12 months in a year. The only difference is the fact that they don't have names for the months like we do, so they use numbers. So my birthday is 4/20. And no, I don't smoke weed. I've heard that joke enough in my lifetime. That's one thing I'm not gonna miss.

After Xavier got better from his sickness last week. What confuses me is why Rainbow Dash still keeps coming over even after he got better. I asked Xavier about it last weekend and all he replied with was "I guess she thinks I'm cool enough for her to hang with me, not that it makes much sense. Not gonna question a good thing though." I just left it at that. I guess Rainbow is Xavier's best friend on the female side, since that spot on the male side is already taken by me.

I guess on my female side would be Applejack. We just spent time talking about ourselves while or after she was finished working. I did tell her that I wasn't all that much about the country life, that I was more of a suburban person. She took it the wrong way at first as she thought I was calling her a dirty low classed or something, but I explained that wasn't the case. I respected the farmers that did the dirty work for us city folk. This calmed her down a lot. Boy, is Applejack scary when you question her proud line of work. Speaking of Applejack, though, she is one bad-ass mare. She single-handedly stopped a bunch of runaway cows from turning Ponyville into rubble. I hand't seen that many cows running since I saw the opening of that Jackass movie. Applejack kept it from being that way. I don't know what happened though. I hadn't seen her since then.

My little bros were another story though. Jonathan spent a lot of time with Applebloom at the Apple Farm, while Hiroto... If he wasn't at the house, he was at the library with Twilight. If he wasn't at the library with Twilight, he was at the house. He didn't interact to the ponies much since our "Welcome to Equis" party. What, is this new world makin him anti-social or somethin? I dunno, maybe it's the entire magic thing that still has his nuts and bolts in his head rustled, and the lack of technology to work with. I mean, I kinda understand him a bit. He was all about the tech. The kid's a genius for a 13 year old and well, that sounds like a poor age to have things turn around on you. I feel bad for the kid. He aint got no friends in this world besides Brianna, and she's been spending a lot of time at Fluttershy's. I really hope he can find some way to adjust to this world or atleast someone to help, human or pony. I have Applejack and Xavier, Xavier has me, Rainbow Dash, and maybe Pinkie and Twilight. I just hope it's not because he's the only Asian here because then he'd be out of luck here.

I woke up Wednesday morning at around 8:30 to the smell of pancakes. Hiroto was cooking again. I went around the house to see what everyone else was up to. Traevon and Xavier were still asleep, my other little bro was watching a movie with Brianna. After we ate breakfast, I left the house at around 9:23 am. Pinkie asked for mine and Xavier's help yesterday with setting up a party for Applejack today. It didn't seem like much to do, so I let the man sleep and went alone.

It didn't take but thirty minutes before everything was set with Rarity setting up the last touch, a yellow banner with apples on it. Now we played the waiting game. Almost all of Ponyville, including most of my group, Jeff and Traevon were elsewhere, gathered at the Town Square. Twilight took the podium, shuffling papers. After that, she spoke.

"Welcome everypony!" She greeted cheerfully. "Today we are here to honor a pony we can always count on to help in matters great or small."

I looked to Xavier. Twilight must be rapidly killing his attention span. Before she could continue however, his female best friend interrupted Twilight.

"Did you see Applejack's slick moves out there? What an athlete! This week, she's gonna help me with my new flying trick, and I know it's gonna be so awesome!!!!

Xavier's attention span was now restored. After Rainbow was shoved away by Twilight, Pinkie took over. She started talking about how she got hired full time at Sugar Cube Corner, and Applejack was supposed to help her and that everyone would get a free sample. Twilight's little speech was hijacked two more times before she just gave up. Mayor Mare took the stage now. A trophy as brought forth by me as she was presenting it to Applejack.

...Who wasn't there.

There was a moment of silence as we looked around for the mare of the hour. Eventually we saw a pile of apples shuffling through a crowd. It was Applejack, and she did not look at her pique today, sloppily dropping apples from her saddlebags in the middle of the crowd. As she got up to the stage, it became clear that she was running herself ragged. She was behaving like she was high on sleep deprivation. "I want what she's having."

Twilight interrupted their session. "Okay... Well thank you Applejack for saving us from that scary stampede and always being there for everypony."

Applejack yawned. "Yeah, I like helpin the pony folks... and stuff..."

"Did she just fall asleep on stage?" She snapped out of it and dragged her trophy off the stage and back through the crowd. Yeah, this was starting to become too painful to watch.

"Was it just me, or did Applejack seem a little..." Twilight started to ask

"Tired?" continued Rainbow

"Dizzy?" continued Fluttershy

"High?" I added.

"Messy?" Rarity added. I looked at Xavier after she said this. He was biting his lips. Everyone looked at her. "Well! Did you see her mane?" I heard her say defensively.

I could've sworn I could hear Xavier's thoughts just by the way he looked, internally screaming "OH MY FUCKING GOD, RARITY!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" He really doesn't like Rarity.

The only person that thought Applejack was fine was Pinkie, who always seemed like she was on everything but Ritalin.

"I'm starting to worry about Applejack." Fluttershy said.

"Yeah, me too." Brianna approached us with Hiroto in tow.

Hiroto adjusted his glasses. "She needs a break. The look in her eyes states that she is deprived of sleep. Her sleep deprivation will mean that she will be less productive in her tasks. She needs help."

"I agree. We should see if she needs anything." Said Twilight. With that, Twilight, Xavier and I set forth to Sweet Apple Acres. When we got there, Applejack was 'bucking' trees. Or that's what she was trying to do. She was missing the trees completely, and accidentally knocked over a bucket filled with apples before falling asleep.

It started happening again as a grin founded itself on my face.

My inner troll was coming out...

I'm probably gonna be labeled 'Jackass of the Week' for this. I crept up to her, leaned close to her ear and yelled.

"APPLEJACK YOUR ORCHARD IS ON FIRE!!!"

She woke up and ran around in circles like she was infested with ticks. "CALL THE FIREPONIES! GET THE PEGASI! SAVE MAH FAMILY'S ORCHARD!!!"

I almost fell on the ground, laughing out loud. Holy shit my stomach was hurting! I was laughing so hard that I didn't even care that Xavier was walking up to me from behind. I hadn't received a slap to the back of the head so hard since I broke his CD player years ago.

"Not funny, jackass!" He growled. Twilight seemed to agree with him while giving me a look of disapproval.

"Tough crowd." I thought.

Twilight walked up to the panicked Applejack.

"Your orchard isn't on fire, Applejack." Twilight said.

"Oh.. Howdy Twilight."

"What is all this?"

"It's Applebuckin season."

"Applewhat season?"

She explained that it was her family's time for harvesting every apple in the orchard. I could see the problem here. She was all by herself, and she had to work with a huge-ass orchard that looked like it could end world hunger. One sleep deprived mare can't do it alone. Twilight argued that she couldn't, but she's stubborn, responding in her "No way, no how" fashion and took it as a challenge instead. "Dammit girl just drop your pride for one moment and get help!"

I stepped in to try to talk some sense into her, but Xavier stopped me. "Girls like her are stubborn as a mule. They won't learn their lesson from others. Shes' gonna have to learn by herself." I honestly hate it when he's right. I know Applejack to some level, and I know she can get pretty damn stubborn when it comes to work.

A lot of weird things happened later on that day. I was taking my bros out to eat when I saw Rainbow Dash being flung into the air like she was knocked out the top of the screen in Smash.

"Team Rocket's blasting off again!" Jonathan mocked. Heh. That's my bro, alright.

Then there was an epidemic. A lot of ponies were in medical tents, their heads green. If I didn't know any better, there was gonna be a zombie apocalypse, and Crazy Dave was nowhere in sight. Apparently, this was caused by Applejack when she 'helped' Pinkie bake. Pinkie dubbed AJ's baked goods, 'baked bads.' I tell you, Sugarcube Corner could've been sued horribly if anyone thought of it.

And then, there was a bunny stampede. Applejack was the cause of this too. Everyone's plants were being eaten, and Jonathan scraped his knee while running from them. Guess who had to deal with his crying. Me.

I heard after each event, Twilight gave an effort to try to offer Applejack help from her and her friends, but each time she stubbornly refused. I'm going to be honest with you. I don't get pissed easily, especially with my best friends. This was about to be the very first. The line has been crossed, twice. I'm going to have a word with Applejack, and she will listen even if I have to hold her down and scream in her ears again.

Enough was enough! "I can understand that Applejack has her pride and tradition to follow but her stubbornness is starting to effect everypony!" I was on my way to Applejack's and I was going to help her whether she liked it or not. I was not going to take no for an answer this time. I should've done this sooner. This had to stop. I was on my was walking through the orchard when I heard yelling.

"You launched Rainbow Dash all the way around the fucking planet!!!"

"Nope."

Sounds like one of the humans, Jack. He sounds angry.

"You made everyone sick in Ponyville! YOU CAUSED AN EPIDEMIC!!!! Someone could sue Sugarcube Corner for everything they have because of you!!!"

"Ah ain't gettin' no help from nopony."

His head was turning redder than the apples he was surrounded by.

"YOU CAUSED A FUCKING BUNNY STAMPEDE, NEARLY RUINED BUSINESSES OF PONIES THAT GREW FLOWERS, AND CAUSED MY BROTHER TO HAVE A SCRAPED KNEE!!! AGAIN!!!"

"Ah can harvest all these apples all by myself. I don't need you or nopony else with this."

Uh oh. I had to do something then and there because it looked like he was about to hurt Applejack. I used my magic to teleport beween the two.

"Jack, calm down! Applejack, you need to stop being stubborn and just listen for once! YOU! NEED! HELP!"

Applejack responded to this by bucking the tree behind her. All of the apples fell in her saddle baskets.

"Hah! No Ah don't! Ah did it! Ah harvested the entire Sweet Apple Acres without anypony's help! How'd ya like them apples?"

I jumped on my hind hooves and placed my forehooves on Jack's chest to hold him back before he could get to Applejack.

"Just... one hit! One hit!!! I'm gonna-"

"Um, how'd you, like them apples?" Big Mac said coming out of nowhere. He gestured towards the other half of the orchard that she had missed. Applejack seemed at a loss of words. She ended up fainting.

After everything stopped being red, I guessed that I had lost it. Thank God Twilight was there. Might've been nothing left but a pile of mush and a bloodied stetson if she wasn't. Yes, I'm exaggerating, don't worry. I was still pretty pissed though, but I stopped trying to hurt her. Applejack was on her back like a dead spider. Twilight explained that she understood her way of doing things, however, she needed to put aside her pride for once and asked others for help. She unexpectedly agreed. In fact, she actually started to beg. "Good. Things won't go red again." I thought.

After a while, she got her friends to help. Xavier, Trae and Jeff even joined us. Rainbow helped with bucking while Pinkie and Rarity and Fluttershy carried the apples back to the barn. On the human side, Xavier and I were climbing trees and shaking the apples from the trees while Jeff and Trae put the apples in the basket and carried them back. A while later, the other three were gone, leaving me alone in the orchard. We were finally done. Applejack trotted up to me and sat to my right while offering a bottle of apple juice.

"Ah wanted to say sorry fer all of the trouble ah caused and fer gettin your brother hurt again."

"Don't let it happen again and I'll forgive ya."

"Twi also told me that you lost yer marbles and charged at me."

Oh boy...

"T's alright. Ah woulda deserved it. Ah'm gonna be honest with ya here. Twi and the others were too soft on me. Sometimes a pony needs ta have her flank kicked in the right direction when things go outa control like today."

"True." I agreed.

"I need somepony like that in my life. Think yer up for that challenge?" She asked, blushing a bit.

'Is she asking me what I think she's asking?'

"Are you asking me what I think you're asking?" I asked

"Eeyup." She smiled.

"Sure thing. I'll be glad to help ya out, there."

She chuckled and pecked my cheek before trotting back.

'My first girlfriend is a pony mare.'