"Fanfiction is all about putting familiar characters in unfamiliar situations."
"But sometimes the character is the thing that ends up being unfamiliar!"
"Princess Celestia, princess of Equestria."
"Princess Tyranlestia, the cheap knock-off."
"Due to the Conversion Bureau having many very different depictions, this Tyranlestia will be a 'high-stats only' version of several TCB settings. And to actually give Celestia some feats to work with, we're gonna be looking at the comics as well as the chapter books, so for those of you offended by that... too bad!"
"He's Mage and I'm Firework. ...Firework?"
"Ponies never invented the shotgun. And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skills to find out who would win... a Deathbattle."
"Celestia and her sister Luna came to the throne of Equestria more than a thousand years ago. This was at the behest of Star Swirl the Bearded, who is basically pony Merlin."
"If she's been in charge for a thousand years, how come she's still known as 'Princess'?"
"Well, the Journal of the Two Sisters implies that Celestia and Luna were more figureheads to start with, powerful guardians who weren't biased towards the Pegasi, Unicorns or Earth Ponies. The whole 'de facto ruler' thing must have happened later. I guess she never got around to changing her title."
During our initial tour, we made it clear to all of them that we were not trying to step on anypony's hooves. King Bullion is still the Unicorn King of his region. As the Alicorn princesses, we are simply there to provide protection for Equestria as a whole.
Celestia - Journal of the Two Sisters
"You sure it wasn't 'cause 'Queen' dolls don't sell as well?"
"Shut up. Besides, don't you need a king to be a queen?"
"You mean like this guy?"
"...I seriously think I just heard half the shippers on the site scream in rage and denial."
"Romances with alternate universe villain counterparts aside, Celestia's definitely no 'delicate flower'. Check out what she did to the Changelings!"
"Well... wasn't expecting to find Grievous Bodily Harm in a little girl's comic... -ahem- As an Alicorn, Celestia is a blend of the three pony tribes."
[Twilight] was officially a part of a special breed of pony called an Alicorn. This meant that Twilight was now able to harness the magical powers of the Unicorns, the flight abilities of the Pegasi, and the strength of a good, true heart of an Earth Pony. She was becoming more like her mentor, the talented and kind Princess Celestia, every day.
Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell
"Hang on a sec, Mage. I need a bucket. -Hurk-, -Blaghg-."
“Glad you finally came around to buckin’, Pinkie Pie,” Applejack said. She’d always thought it was fun and hoped other ponies would see it, too. As fellow Earth Ponies, she and Pinkie were perfectly suited for the job with their super pony strength.
Applejack and the Honest-to-Goodness Switcheroo
"Celestia's Earth Pony magic increases her strength and durability. Hers is so powerful that she can 'hoof' wrestle Big Mac without breaking a sweat. Keep in mind that Big Mac can drag a two-story house behind himself with only moderate effort."
"...what the hell is that rope made out of?"
"Considering that the force required to slide an object across the ground is F(max) = u * F(n), the house is on a level plane, and that the coefficient of friction for dirt is above 0.5, Celestia will be able to lift at least half that house overhead. Note that she must be able to withstand that same force otherwise she'd snap her own leg."
"Too soon! Now we come to the most important part of Celestia's breakdown: her magic!"
"There are some perks to the role of 'Day Cycle Maintenance Worker'."
As we knew, Alicorns possessed a level of magic far beyond anything a Unicorn could ever imagine. Raising and lowering the sun and moon wouldn't cause us any harm. If fact, if the myths [Star Swirl]'d read were true, it would actually rejuvenate us, making our magic that much more powerful.
Celestia - Journal of the Two SistersThankfully, with all the power we'd gotten from the sun and moon...
Luna - Journal of the Two Sisters
"What is it with Big Good characters being solar powered? First Superman and now this lady..."
"It should be noted, however, that neither her durability nor her magic are limitless. In her rematch with Queen Chrysalis the Changeling Queen was able to overpower Celestia and stun her, much to the surprise of literally everyone there, including Chrysalis."
"It is a little girl's show, Mage. Love triumphs over all! ...even if it was stolen."
"Using her horn, Celestia can cast any spell she has learned over her long lifetime. But what spells are those? We can't just say she knows all the ones Twilight knows, because Twilight is clearly into self-study."
"Obviously any spell she's been seen using is fair game today. This includes force-fields, beam attacks and blasting spells!"
"It should however be noted that Celestia prefers mobility over a static defence, and so will usually take to the air to avoid enemy strikes."
"As she's a wise old spellcaster, Celestia knows there's nothing wrong with knowing dark magic so long as you point it at the bad guys. As such she can cast the same kind of spells as the evil King Sombra."
"Mostly, it's useful for making crystals. Notably, you can make a series of those dark crystals to form a cage. If so, anypony inside that teleports out will be automatically teleported back in."
"And if Celestia ever needs to get up close and personal with her deadly foes, no worries! Like her sister, Celestia can take on an incorporeal form, though hers is fire not mist."
"Attacking her mentally isn't any easier, as Celestia knows how to protect her mind using magic. This effect is so strong, it effortlessly deflected Nightmare Moon's attempts to drive her insane while she slept."
"She can extend this shield to cover others, but using it to defend more than herself drains her magic pretty da*n quick."
"Well, better to have it and not need it then need it and not have it."
"Anyway, Celestia's most impressive trick is wielding all six of the Skittles Rupees by her lonesome. You know you're good at magic when you can do the Care Bare Stare without any, you know, friends with you."
"They're called the Elements of Harmony! And yes, while Celestia's grasp of friendship-based magic isn't as good as Twilight's, she's clearly no slouch in the rainbow department. She has said that she isn't connected to them anymore... whatever that means... but considering the Tree of Harmony still proudly bares Celestia's Cutie Mark it, at least, is probably still connected to her."
"But we mustn't forget the most awe-inspiring, most useful spell Celestia knows..."
“Rainy Air, is it?” Celestia smiled at the young pony and bent down. “You seem like you could use a snack.” A glow of magic swirled from her horn and spun around, creating a beautiful red apple.
Princess Celestia and the Summer of Royal Waves
"You think 'Create Snack' is the most useful spell she knows?"
"-Ahem- I think that's everything combat related we've seen her do. Did I forget anything Mage?"
"No, but..."
Dear diary,
My sister is so weird. She wants this castle to have all these odd tricks and traps all over. And what do I really want? I want a huge library where I can finally put all the books I've been collecting all these years!
Celestia - Journal of the Two Sisters
"...the library in the Castle of the Two Sisters was basically a room to store all of Celestia's books. That means that any book in there belonged to Celestia, right?"
"...where are you going with this, Mage?"
"You see, there was a certain book hidden in that library, and its logical owner would have to be Celestia; especially when you consider it was in a secret room that would have had to have been built by one of the castle architects (Celestia and Luna). Its name: Inspiration Manifestation."
"That sounds like something I might buy on a dodgy street corner."
"It's definitely no good for critical judgement. Inspiration Manifestation allows the caster to bring things from the inside of their head to the outside, adding to and overwriting the world around them."
"Really? Oh man, the things I would do with this spell..."
"Fortunately for the rest of us, you can snap someone out of using this spell by just telling them off."
"Aw, lame. Fortunately for Celestia, the species changing spell from the same library has no such issues! Celestia's dungeons are filled with the croaking forms of disobedient ponies turned frog..."
"No they aren't, Firework."
"Shut up, don't ruin my dreams."
I've been studying an old spell book from the Castle of the Two Sisters. There's a spell that I think could help us! This is probably gonna feel a little funny at first, but you're gonna have to trust me.
-Turns the Mane Six into Breezies-
Twilight - It Ain't Easy Being Breezies
"The final source of Celestia's spells is her close friendship with Star Swirl the Bearded."
Dear Diary,
Star Swirl's particularity has made him a fantastic sorcerer. He tries things that nopony else would ever dream of. He's created and mastered hundreds of spells and has so many more in the works. There's one he's developing now involving cutie marks that sounds very complex. As somepony who hasn't even gotten her cutie mark, I'm not sure where he's going with this spell. And honestly, it's so complicated I don't know if he'll ever finish it.
But his most exciting spells involve time travel, which is of course very challenging, and the spells are causing him a bit of trouble.
...
I'm trying to help him with the calculations, but it's proving to be far more problematic than either of us expected. Still, we're having a great time trying!
Celestia - Journal of the Two Sisters
"Star Swirl would go on to finish his time travel spell with Celestia's help. And having just finished cracking travel in the fourth dimension, Star Swirl figured he'd have a go at all the other ones; creating at least two crystal mirrors that allow for inter-dimensional travel and disposal of annoying seahorses."
"Hippocampi."
"Gesundheit. Anyway, that second mirror is particularly notable on account of there not being any magic on the other side. If you get dumped there, burn your spellbooks now 'cause they're useless."
"Well, not quite. If you have an external source of magic your magical powers will continue working just fine. Sunset Shimmer used the Element of Magic, while the Dazzlings used human negativity. Finally, Star Swirl's most powerful spell is simply known as Star Swirl's Final Spell. In its unfinished form it swaps the Cutie Marks of its targets around."
"And why is changing which farmer they belong to so impressive?"
"Firework those aren't branding marks, they're... -sigh-. Cutie Marks represent everything unique about a pony, changing them around literally alters their place in the grand scheme of things; adding and removing abilities such as when it granted Rarity Weather Magic."
It's not their memories, Spike. It's their true selves that have been altered!
...
No, Spike. They're not who they are meant to be anymore. Their destinies are now changed, and it's all my fault.
Twilight - Magical Mystery Cure
"That's what it does when it's unfinished?! What the **** does it do when it's completed?"
"Something about 'magic without end'."
"That sounds awesome."
"It's referring to the magic of friendship."
"I take it back!"
How dare thee! We are not any mere pony princess! We are Princess Celestia, Alicorn Princess of Equestria! We art here to protect the Pegasi, Unicorns and Earth Ponies of this land! Thou hast threatened our citizens, and we shall not stand for that! Return unto us the Crystal Heart or thou shalt pay a mighty price, dragon!
Celestia - Journal of the Two Sisters
"Fanfiction can sometimes be a game of Chinese Whispers. Somebody writes a story which everyone likes, so others copy bits of that when they write their own stories. Soon, little changes or characterisation errors can snowball."
"Wait, so there are story mutations that get replicated without limit?"
"...yes?"
"I was right. Bad fanfiction is cancer!"
"-cough- The Conversion Bureau is a highly controversial fanfiction started years ago as a wish fulfilment story."
"While its origins were simple enough, the contrast of Equestria vs. Earth polarised its readers. Its backlash was bad enough that forevermore stories with Humans and Ponies together used inter-planetary or inter-dimensional travel to avoid any comparison."
"But some authors - not mentioning who - thought the idea of a paradise that humans couldn't actually enter without major modifications to their... everything... was the best thing to happen since the show itself."
"If you want an actual summary of the story... google it, you lazy - "
"Firework!"
"Fine... basically the interpenetration we're running with is that Tyranlestia decided one day that humanity sucks and ponies rule. So she ripped her kingdom right out of the ground and dumped it on Earth. Naturally, adding another continent screwed up the weather, and apparently humans are allergic to magic or something, so humanity started knelling over."
"Through the indestructible Barrier - which only magical beings can pass through - Tyranlestia issued an ultimatum: drink her magic potion and become ponies, or die off when the magic got to them."
"Characterisation issues aside, isn't this actually the same pony we just discussed above?"
"Actually... no! See, the Conversion Bureau was started during the early stages of the show. Back then, the world-building and backstory was so threadbare that many fans went with interpretations that would fit more in a fantasy Epic than in a Slice of Life show. Due to Celestia's unclear backstory, her extreme age and her role of raising the sun, many fans assumed Celestia was a goddess. Even now that belief hasn't quite worked its way out of the fandom, which means that in many fanfics the Solar Princess has a divine background. In one well-known Bureau story Celestia gets blown to smithereens, leaving only her head intact, but she somehow remains alive."
"Yuck. Tyranlestia's divine power is generally depicted as coming from the sun, but some other divergent stories claim her as the avatar of a dark, evil force... one which shall sweep over the ragged plains of finality and drag your feeble souls screaming into the dark..."
"?!"
"Sorry, had something stuck in my throat."
"...anyway, Tyranlestia's stats are completely ridiculous."
"She's kind of like a reverse-straw-man: she's made to be unbeatable."
"She can out fly fighter jets (which frequently fly two or even three times the speed of sound), tank artillery blasts, and destroy battleships single-hooved."
"Like Celestia, Tyranlestia makes use of Force-fields and beam spells. She also teleports often, as well as the occasional 'summon the darkness' trick. Any damage that does get through to her heals in seconds. Her favourite tactic is to walk right through whatever her opponents are attempting and blow their face off. ...wait, that's it? That's boring!"
"Tyranlestia is either a God-Mode Sue in pro-conversion stories, or a Final Boss in anti-conversion stories. Why would she have elaborate attacks?"
"Because she's a ****ing thousand plus year old sorceress and she had better ****ing act like it?"
"As for weaknesses, well... she's not really written as having any. The pro-conversion writers mostly stopped paying attention to the show before Celestia got her butt handed to her by the Monster of the... well, not week, but you know what I mean. In their stories, Celestia has never suffered a major loss; they frequently note her victory over the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, whom they also upgrade to Chaos God."
"It goes without saying that they don't include the comics or chapter books in their stories when you consider that most if not all of them weren't written when TCB was in full swing."
"Tyranlestia occasionally makes use of brainwashing to keep her troops in line - "
"Only in anti-conversion stories. In pro-conversion stories people who disagree with her just get 'disappeared' off-screen, and Celestia gets a new statue in her garden. Hashtag not-even-kidding."
"O...kay... well, Tyranlestia is usually depicted as the reason the whole situation exists in the first place, so she can obviously breach dimensional walls."
"The Barrier is also usually her work, and while the Conversion Serum isn't (directly), she carries the stuff everywhere just in case."
"As we have stated already, Tyranlestia is depicted as being without flaw. That being said, she suffers from the same flaw all such characters do - overconfidence. Tyranlestia will take any attack head on, firm in the belief that she is above being hurt."
"If Celestia can actually find something to hurt her with, she might just come out on top."
Hold still - I'm gonna kick your stupid little monkey backside, then turn you into a pretty pink pony. Okay?!
Xlestia - not the same as Tyranlestia
"Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all."
"It's time for MY LITTLE DEATHBATTLE!"
It was a perfectly normal day in the diarchy of Equestria. Birds sang, the sun shone, ponies lined up to get royal assistance resolving disputes. Celestia frowned down at a pair of Earth Pony brothers. Both were claiming that the other had received the larger portion of their inheritance. Hadn't she heard a proverb about this somewhere?
She raised her gavel. "I do hereby decree that - "
The throne room wall exploded.
Chunks of stone the size of a full-grown pony flew through the room at high speed. Robbed of its support, the roof partially caved in, resulting in the room being utterly covered in debris. Of the ponies occupying the room, nothing could be seen.
Softly, a pony stepped into the disaster area, her lips curling up in a cruel smirk. "Is this it?" The Celestia look-alike jeered. "I'd have thought anypony foolish enough to imitate me would have more to bring than that."
The rubble shifted.
Tyranlestia - for that is who it was - looked towards the noise and narrowed her eyes.
The strewn rubble exploded outwards, revealing the occupants of the room. They were clinging tightly to each other, fear etched deeply in their wide eyes. With the stone removed, Celestia dropped the golden force field that had kept her charges alive, keeping her eyes on Tyranlestia the entire time. "That," she said softly "was very foolish of you."
Tyranlestia snorted, ignoring the panicking ponies as they fled the room. She pawed the ground, and stared her counterpart directly in the eyes.
FIGHT!
Celestia leaped into the skies, wings spread wide. Tyranlestia smirked and did likewise. Upon seeing Celestia charge a beam spell, Tyranlestia's smirk became an outright bark of mocking laughter.
Celestia fired her beam spell, but Tyranlestia responded in kind. The two spells blasted against each other, equal in power... before Tyranlestia casually upped the power of her spell, blasting Celestia away. The injured Alicorn crashed into the ground with a mighty -thud-.
"Too easy." Tyranlestia taunted her grounded opponent. Focusing herself, she charged a massive fireball on the tip of her horn, before letting it fly. Celestia and all the rubble around her was engulfed by the solar fire.
"Really." Tyranlestia snorted again. "I don't see how anyone could have mistaken me for a weakling like you." She threw her nose high in the air, eyes closed, as her hooves met the ground. She posed with an offended air, as though upset at how easy that had gone.
-Clop-
Tyranlestia's eyes snapped open. That had not been her making that sound.
-Clop. Clop Clop-
Tyranlestia frowned and tilted her head down to see the sea of fire she had conjured. One eyebrow rose.
Celestia was walking out of the fire, unharmed. It was only natural that fire didn't hurt her, given she was currently made of fire herself. As the her-flames separated fully from the fireball-flames, not even the shifting outlines of her face could hide her disapproving glare.
The corner of Tyranlestia's mouth curled upwards once more.
Celestia suddenly charged forwards, galloping with all her might.
Tyranlestia disappeared, teleporting behind Celestia in a flash of magic. Before the fire princess could react, the flesh-and-blood Alicorn sent a lance of spell-fire right through where Celestia's heart should have been. The attack spell blasted clean through Celestia's body, carving a channel large enough to stick a pony's head through. Tyranlestia smirked.
But to her shock, Celestia just shook herself. The flames that made up her body filled in the gap like fire eating into paper. Celestia turned, horn glowing bright. The stone blocks either side of Tyranlestia exploded, peppering her with shrapnel. Tyranlestia didn't so much as flinch as the stone fragments bounced off her fur.
Celestia's eyes widened at her attack's lack of effect. Tyranlestia took advantage of her surprise to hurl some of the larger chunks of rubble onto Celestia, crushing her flat. Tyranlestia looked closely at her hoofdiwork, making sure the impostor was down this time.
In the gaps between the stone, flames emerged, pulling themselves back into the shape of an Alicorn. Tyranlestia made a frustrated noise. "I see. You are as stubborn as you are foolish."
The flesh Alicorn moved her head to one side to avoid a beam spell from her opponent. "That fire form of yours is very annoying." She would try to turn her opponent to stone, if she was sure that would work on somepony who wasn't flesh at the time.
Celestia's yellow flames abruptly burned bright green, her fire-horn burning pitch black.
Tyranlestia actually blinked in surprise. "You would dare use black magic?! Against me?!"
Celestia didn't answer her, focusing on keeping her fire form going while she used Sombra's crystal magic. Four great pillars of black crystal grew from the floor of her ruined throne room, pushing rubble out of the way as they rose up. Tyranlestia eyed the pillars critically, offended rather than worried.
Once the pillars had grown to reach the former height of the ceiling, Celestia's fire returned to normal and she charged once more.
Tyranlestia sighed in disappointment. And she had thought the impostor might actually be entertaining. She teleported behind Celestia once more.
The black magic enveloping her form, teleporting her back into their midst just in time to get sent flying by Celestia's charge, was therefore a surprise. But despite slamming into one of the remaining walls hard enough to crack it, Tyranlestia didn't show the slightest bit of pain.
"Enough!" She roared, exploding the crystal pillars with a moment's thought. Celestia took to the air, but that only played to Tyranlestia's advantage as she encased the fire pony in a spherical force field. Celestia had a moment to look panicked before Tyranlestia slammed the field into the ground. Celestia's fluid body was distorted as it was pressed downward with the force of the slam. Devoid of oxygen in the tiny space, her fire form flickered out.
Telekinetically, Tyranlestia hoisted Celestia into the air by her throat. Then slammed her into the ground again. And again. And again, the princess flopping like a rag doll in the tyrant's magical grip.
Satisfied that her opponent was too battered to react, Tyranlestia hovered her opponent in front of her face. Celestia's tiara had fallen off at some point, and blood was seeping into her fur from various places. "Finally. It took a disappointingly long time for me to triumph, but it was inevitable, considering how poor an imitation of me you are."
"How good are you at economics?" Celestia wheezed.
Tyranlestia shook Celestia roughly. "What was that?"
A bright light shone from behind Tyranlestia.
"If I'm the poor imitation, then you must be a master at economics." Celestia's voice boomed from behind Tyranlestia. Which was impossible, because the tyrant was holding that princess in front of her.
Flash. "And in that case - "
Flash. " - you will of course be familiar - "
Flash. " - with the concept of borrowing - "
Flash. " - expecting future return."
Tyranlestia looked behind her. There were five Celestias standing in a row behind her. Apart from signs of increasing exhaustion from left-to-right, the five Celestias looked identical to each other, and like an unhurt version of her captive. She looked back at the original Celestia, who had worked up the energy to smile weakly.
'Future return'? Five non-identical 'clones' that showed signs of passing time? This was unacceptable. How dare somepony as low as the impostor know the secrets to time travel, unknown to even her!
With that thought, Tyranlestia tossed Present Celestia out the hole in the wall that she had made coming in. One of the Future Celestias dashed out after Celestia, presumably to catch her, leaving four Alicorns facing Tyranlestia. She charged up a beam spell, but the Celestias responded with the same fire form spell that had frustrated her earlier. Biting back a curse, Tyranlestia created a force field spanning the entire room, then quickly expanded that field outwards. The four Celestias were pressed into, then through the back wall.
Tyranlestia spread her wings and flew out the new hole in the room. Once outside, she found those four Celestias had righted themselves and were waiting for her in the air. She also noticed the fifth time-clone carrying Present Celestia away on her back. Tyranlestia snarled. "You do not get to run, coward!" She made to charge, but the four time-clones blasted her back with synchronised beam-spells.
Regaining control over her flight path, Tyranlestia cast a spread of her own beams to keep the time-clones busy. She flew after Present Celestia, but the four time-clones followed her and harassed her with more beam spells to keep her away from their past-self.
Well, if she couldn't rip their bodies to pieces, she'd just have to make do with their minds. With a moment's concentration, she spent mental probes at each of the six Alicorns. Being made of fire wouldn't stop her from rendering their psyches into mush! The probes reached their targets ...and were effortlessly deflected away by some invisible magic.
Tyranlestia gave a roar of anger and frustration. She formed a force-field in the shape of a giant fly-swatter, and began to play whack-an-Alicorn with the time-clones. The deadly game of keep-away was an easy vent for Tyranlestia's anger, but she retained enough awareness to realise they had flown most of the way to Ponyville. ...wait, what was that hideous crystal structure on the edge of town?
Perfectly in unison, the four free time-clones tackled Tyranlestia down into Twilight's Castle. While their fiery heat didn't even register to Tyranlestia, she did notice being shoved through several crystal walls and into the floor of the castle's main room.
In the centre of the room, the Cutie Map projected a giant arrow that pointed directly at Tyranlestia, who took a moment to shake crystal shards out of her fur.
"Is that all you have?!" She demanded of the time-clones.
"Actually, yes." The nearest clone admitted. "Our spell is about to run out."
Tyranlestia blinked.
One after the other, the time-clones glowed white and vanished back into the time-stream.
Tyranlestia stared blankly at the space the time-clones had just vacated.
...
Wait a minute, where was the first one?!
Hearing the sound of crystal crunching underhoof, Tyranlestia whirled around. Celestia, breathing heavily, was leaning against some overly elaborate magical apparatus that appeared to have been built around a mirror. Celestia tapped her horn against the mirror's frame, causing the surface of the mirror to project a beam of magic as wide as her torso. Tyranlestia summoned a force field to block it, but the beam splashed out and enveloped her force field, and her with it. The beam then pulled itself back into the mirror like a fishing line, and Tyranlestia caught a stern glare from Celestia as she was sucked into the mirror.
Once inside, Tyranlestia found herself awash on enormous streams of magic that were both completely foreign and strangely familiar. What had the imposer done?! This kaleidoscope of colour, this stretching sensation - she grimaced as she rode out a 'rip-tide' of magical current - this was dimension magic!
Just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Tyranlestia was dumped out in the middle of some random street. She let out a groan of injured dignity, and immediately frowned. Her landing had hurt far more than it had any right to. And why did her hooves feel so weird?
Tyranlestia looked down at herself.
...
"Excuse me? Miss? Are you okay?" There was a human asking if she was alright. Why wouldn't he ask that when she was a human too?
Oh merciful sun she was human human human humanhumanhumanhuman...
"Unclean..." She whispered to herself.
"Miss?"
"UNCLEAN!" She roared in the man's face. "Unclean unclean unclean body-mind-soul! There can be no forgiveness for the depths of depravity the DEFILER has forced into me!"
The poor guy slowly backed away from the crazy lady.
"No forgiveness." She muttered, forcing down a hysterical giggle. "I need power. I need to put that horse in her place."
The bystander's retreat became more hurried as streams of darkness started to form, feeding into Tyranlestia.
"NO FORGIVENESS!" She roared, starting to lift into the air. "DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU SHALL BURN FOREVERMORE IN TARTARUS FOR THIS!"
The darkness formed into a pair of immaterial bat-wings, and her nails became claws. In a moment of supernatural clarity, Tyranlestia focused all her might on the patch of space she had been ejected from, and rent it with her claws; opening up the rift back to Equestria. Without any delay, she plunged back into it.
On the other side of the mirror, Celestia was using her teeth to tighten the knots on bandages wrapped around her middle. She had finished cleaning up various small cuts and looked much better already.
Then the Crystal Mirror exploded.
"FACE ME, DEFILER!" Tyranlestia screamed, once more an Alicorn. The darkness she had used to escape was now wrapped around her form, blurring her outline with black shrouds.
It took a moment for Tyranlestia to reorient herself, which was fortunate for Celestia because she needed that moment to unstick her brain from What? How?!
Credit to Celestia, she made a plan quickly. Knowing she had to lead the fight out of Ponyville and fast, she flew to the hole she and Tyranlestia made coming in. "Here!" She announced herself.
Tyranlestia made an animalistic growl in the back of her throat, and flew full speed to tackle Celestia in a purely physical manner. Celestia winced at the blow but resumed her fire form lest Tyranlestia try something at point-blank range. Celestia's flames and Tyranlestia's darkness licked at each other, both trying to smother their opposite.
The two Alicorns struggled through the air. Tyranlestia was trying to slam Celestia into the ground, and Celestia was trying to steer their combined flight towards her last option. Tyranlestia tried to crush Celestia's barrel with her forelegs, but she just succeeded in pushing through Celestia's fire and out the other side. The dark Alicorn screamed in rage as, freed from her grapple, Celestia slipped down and flew straight towards her destination, trusting that her opponent would follow her.
Tyranlestia shook her head. Her anger was clouding her mind. She was better than the defiler, she just needed to keep her wits about her. Speaking of being better than her...
Celestia gave a squawk of surprise as Tyranlestia sped up well beyond Celestia's maximum velocity, tackling her again and causing her to miss the ravine she had been aiming for. Instead, the pair crashed into a castle that - had she been in a calmer state of mind - Tyranlestia would have recognised as the Castle of the Two Sisters. For the third time that day, large holes were made in castle walls.
Tyranlestia came to a stop as her horn stabbed through several books. Gathering her wits, she was in... a library? Where had the defiler gone?
"From in the head to out in the world, every thought to action. Hold close this book and through its spell, you'll start a chain reaction."
Hearing those words, Tyranlestia pointed her horn in the correct direction and blasted clean through several walls and bookshelves separating her from her target. With the obstructions gone, she could see Celestia clutching a spiked stone tablet, continuing to chant clearly even though Tyranlestia was charging up another attack spell.
"Projecting forth whatever beauty you see. Only when true words are spoken will you finally be set free." Celestia finished, her magic changing colour to a sickly green.
The defiler just cursed herself to get an advantage. Tyranlestia thought with dark amusement. How cute.
Pooling darkness at the tip of her horn, Tyranlestia hurled a blob of caustic magic at the other Alicorn, but a solid chunk of stone appeared with a flash and took the hit.
"Now what?!" Tyranlestia growled.
-Flash-
A score of loaded cannons, fuses alight, appeared in a flash around Tyranlestia. With a deep -boom- of exploding gunpowder, cannonballs raced towards the Solar Tyrant....
...and were caught effortlessly by her dark aura despite their speed.
Celestia dismissed the wall, and the battle was rejoined. Celestia would create whatever she thought would help - cannons, ballistae, falling weights, clockwork soldiers - and Tyranlestia would effortlessly tank the attack with her dark aura, crushing it to pieces.
"You think I'm impressed?" Tyranlestia snarled. "I have fought with Discord himself! Compared to him, your parlour tricks are nothing!"
Celestia choked on her own magic for a moment, before Inspiration Manifestation forcibly exited her body through her eyeballs; the green glow departing as a mist.
Tyranlestia jumped back in case this was some new trick, but the mist merely dissipated and Celestia shook her head in order to clear it.
That dizziness allowed Tyranlestia to once more grasp Celestia's neck telekinetically.
"DIE!" She yelled, swinging Celestia into a wall hard enough that even after smashing through the stone wall, her body continued on to make holes in several more.
Tyranlestia's face twitched. Fury in battle was one thing, but she'd thrown her opponent so hard she'd actually lost sight of her. Blasting her way through the walls after her target revealed... that she was nowhere to be seen.
The darkness around her deepened.
Outside, Celestia emerged from one of the castle's many secret tunnels in time to see the entire castle engulfed in an orb of pitch-black void. When it receded, nothing remained of her and her sister's first thrones - the stone had vanished, leaving a perfectly smooth semi-spherical depression.
But destroyed memories would have to wait. Tyranlestia, now nearly impossible to see amidst her own dark aura, had flown up in preparation to finish the fight permanently.
Celestia dashed further into the ravine - there was a reason they had built this castle here, all those years ago...
Tyranlestia spotted her moving from her place on high. She charged, then launched, an immense black void from her horn. As the darkness closed in on Celestia, Tyranlestia laughed, her voice echoing oddly. "Be swallowed up by the darkness you cannot escape!"
A twinkle of rainbow light glimmered.
Tyranlestia chocked on her own laughter as her darkness was effortlessly cancelled out. Furious, she dived to the ground before Celestia. "What trick have you pulled this time, Def - "
The shimmer of the Tree of Harmony's crystal trunk, shining brightly behind the winded Celestia, brought Tyranlestia's thoughts to a screeching halt. Carved into the Tree, Celestia's Cutie Mark glowed brightly; and the six Elements each shone a coloured beam of light on the Alicorn before them.
"What have you done to the Elements, Defiler?!" Tyranlestia roared, her voice still possessing that strange reverberation.
"Returned them to where they belong." Actually that had been Twilight, but Celestia didn't think her opponent would care about the distinction.
"They belong by my side! Not in the hands of some mortal failure who can't keep her own subjects in line!"
"That very thought proves you are not worthy of their power."
Diamond Waves, her dear friend.
Luna, the sister she had lost and regained.
Cadence, the filly she had raised as her own.
Twilight, the student who had done things she never could.
...the other Sombra, the love she could never have.
Though not there in body, their hearts were lending Celestia strength just as much as if they were physically present.
"You have become overly focused on the word 'Harmony'." Celestia was limping, but with her proud eyes and upright posture she looked regal nonetheless. "This is not the magic of Order."
"This..."
The six beams of light focused on Celestia's horn, forming a ball of light. It was not the golden glow of the sun. It was the pure white of a rainbow combined.
"...is the magic..."
The light grew in brightness to the point that, even shrouded in darkness, Tyranlestia squinted her eyes in pain.
"...OF FRIENDSHIP!"
The Rainbow Power launched itself from Celestia's horn straight into Tyranlestia. The magic lanced into the aura of darkness, distorting it.
"AND YOU..."
The darkness aura was progressively blasted out of the way of Friendship's light as it came closer and closer to the mare hiding within.
"...STAND ALONE."
The rainbow beam grew in intensity and size, expanding to envelope the darkness completely, hiding Tyranlestia from view. After that, it disappeared completely; leaving a slightly smoking Tyranlestia devoid of any trace of dark power.
Celestia stared her opponent dead in the eye. All of her injuries from the fight so far were gone; the cuts had closed and the blood had vanished. She looked like she hadn't even been in a fight. "Will you now concede defeat? I have been strengthened, you have been weakened."
"That..." The downed Alicorn muttered, struggling to her hooves, and to the realisation that a vast chunk of her power had been stripped from her.
"That doesn't matter!" Tyranlestia roared. An aura of yellow power began to emanate from her body as she drew on the full power of her connection to the sun. "I still hold more power than you could ever dream, I am destined for victory!"
Celestia spoke softly, but Tyranlestia could hear her so well she may as well have used the Royal Canterlot Voice. "From one to another, another to one. A mark of one's destiny singled out alone, fulfilled."
The Elements of Harmony glowed brightly once more, and with a subtle -pop-, Tyranlestia's Cutie Mark disappeared. Her aura - Tyranlestia's show of force - evaporated, as did her power draw from the sun.
"My... my Cutie Mark... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DESTINY?!"
"I have switched it. With who, and for what, I will leave to your imagination."
"I..." Tyranlestia started hyperventilating, unable to comprehend a change of that magnitude. "I'm an Alicorn, same as you!"
Celestia sighed, obviously disappointed with her opponent's continued refusal to stand down. Her eyes glowed white with magic, and she grew mind-bogglingly large. No, that was wrong - it was Tyranlestia who was shrinking. Shrinking down into the small, delicate form of a Breezie.
"I... I..." The new-zie stammered as she stared up at the comparatively enormous Alicorn.
Face impassive, Celestia raised a hoof.
-Splat-
K.O.!
Wiping the bug guts off her hoof, Celestia exhaled deeply. Her horn began to glow pure white, and the princess disappeared. She had another five iterations of this fight to complete, after all.
"Okay, that was... kinda gross."
"I don't remember you complaining when Rainbow Dash killed that robot."
"Technically it's more like she devoured his soul... annnnddd that sounded less creepy in my head."
"Tyranlestia's stats were ridiculous, and there was no way Celestia could possibly match them. Fortunately for her, she didn't have to."
"Celestia's arsenal of spells and magic items allowed her to hard-counter nearly anything her evil counterpart could throw at her. For starters, Tyranlestia's melee strikes and beam spells were useless against Celestia's intangible Fire Form, shutting down most of her attacks right there."
"Being a pony herself, Celestia had nothing to fear from the Barrier or Conversion Serum, and her Mind Shield spell saved her from Tyranlestia's mental attacks. Her Earth Pony durability and Tyranlestia's overconfidence kept her alive throughout the fight."
"The battle wasn't smooth sailing however. Tyranlestia's connections to the sun and to darkness - external sources both - allowed her to retain her magic in the human world. Her knowledge of dimension hopping let her jump right back into the fray."
"But in the end, Celestia's most powerful ability is the one she used to start the whole story - the ****ing Rainbow of Death."
"Tyranlestia may be the avatar of darkness sometimes, but that just means she's that much more vulnerable to the light-based magic."
"And if the evil Alicorn is just drawing power through her connection to the sun, no worries! Celestia does the same and can disconnect Tyranlestia by changing out her butt tattoo."
"Combined with a species transformation - which we know works on Alicorns, given that Twilight used it on herself - Tyranlestia is left as normal as any other pony... thing."
"No darkness, no sun power, no Alicorn-ity-ness, no immortality! Celestia gave Tyranlestia a royal horse-whipping."
"The winner: is Princess Celestia."