Dr Shy was now at her desk. It was less moist from the snow that had been on it the night before now. Gilda guessed Angel had been made to help clean it, unless she was going to remember helping during the bit she was all nice minded.
That snake walrus thing was on her bad side right now, that’s for sure.
“Well, first things first,” Dr. Shy began, putting her glasses back on. “How are you feeling today?”
Did she even need to ask?
“Confused and angry,” Gilda answered with a bitter groan. “Duh!”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Dr. Shy said. She was about to say something else, But Gilda cut her off.
“The heck just happened to me?” Gilda asked. “It’s like my heads a mess. Like more than usual or something.”
“I think Mr Discord could tell you more, but he thinks you met something while you were..um, wandering...” Dr. Shy replied, writing a few notes. She was looking more worried than Gilda was on what “something” meant.
“I thought you said I was dreaming,” Gilda said with a raised eyebrow. “Like, with the pills?”
“You were, but it’s before that,” Shy explained. “But in that...void you were in, you can find things.” Shy looked a bit scared, as spoke. “Like terrors, windigos, manitous…”
“Wha?” Gilda looked a bit surprised on this, and might have asked if Dr. Shy didn’t continue.
“It’s ok for the first time, as they won’t know what you are at first,” she added seriously. “But please, from now on, keep your eyes shut. They can’t see you if you can’t.”
“But this still all sounds like a kids story…” Gilda said with dismissal. “Like that going to work on something like that!”
She was exhausted by what she was now knee deep into, and even more so to find it looked like it was only dragging her further down.
“Discord will tell you more,” Fluttershy said, moving things along. While Gilda just rolled her eyes, Dr. Fluttershy got herself busy, pushing her chair from her desk. Soon it was by the couch, so she could sit closer to the tried griffon. “In the meantime, tell me about your dreams?”
While the griffon wasn’t interested, the pony looked pleadingly. While Gilda didn’t feel like going into such details, she knew the pony would try to pry.
Then again, who else would she talk too?
“Well, ok,” Gilda began. “The first one was awesome.” She felt enjoyment with that part. “Dash practically begged for me to forgive her, and then we went on a mad pranking scheme.”
“I see,” Dr. Fluttershy responded without as much excitement. “And the second one?”
“That time...Dash said she forgave me that time.” Gilda felt a bit more guarded on this one. “She was chill even, then we went to town with her telling me I was welcome and wanting me to meet all her friends, and...”
“Was it awesome?” Shy innocently asked.
“I...freaked out,” Gilda said with disappointment. “Everything seemed too friendly, too nice. It got under my skin and I just freaked.”
“Why?” Fluttershy asked with concern.
“I just said, they were being weird and…” Gilda was looking away, as this was making her nervous. “It was all stupid anyway.”
“And?” Dr. Shy kept at it, despite the griffon’s evasiveness. “How was it stupid to you?”
Gilda let out a sigh. “I kind of wish it was just another dream about me and Dash hanging. None of that other stuff.”
“Why is that?” Fluttershy asked, looking from her notes to the depressed griffon. “Why just Rainbow Dash? Why not any other ponies?”
Gilda let out another sigh. “Do you know anything about us griffons?” she asked as she was holding her claws to her chest.
“Well, I know that part about them...er, not l-letting go of a m-mate.” Despite Fluttershy not trying to insinuate something, Gilda thought it was.
“Not that part geek!” she roared back at the pony.
“Eeek!” Dr. Shy ducked behind her own chair. While still hiding, she put her head above her hiding spot and asked another question. “S-sorry. W-what p-part of being a g-griffon is it you would like to b-bring up?”
“Well one, we don’t normally like horses much,” Gilda said matter of factly. The pony’s terror gave her a amount of joy, ending her moping for a moment. “Something about mounts, or wars, or gold claims. Old cool stuff, before you little ponies started running around everywhere. Playing games and having fun,” she laughed. “Besides, you guys are wimps anyway.”
“O-ok.” Fluttershy got herself out of hiding, sitting back down in her chair.
“Besides, griffons only bond mate with other griffons,” Gilda continued. “So far, they haven’t even had any success with you ponies anyway.”
“R-really?” This fact had Dr. Shy surprised, and to Gilda proved she didn’t know much. “Do you know why that is?”
“Some of the males, when they are young and stupid, make attempts to find a mare on occasion,” Gilda said with some humor. “You ever hear about a hippogriff?” Fluttershy shook her head. “Those things sound like the most awesome thing ever, like something that could go five rounds with one of the princesses...blindfolded.”
“I’ve heard...a bit,” Fluttershy mused with curiosity. “So what happens to them?”
“Well, mares don’t take to well to a male griffons just wanting a kid out of a relationship,” Gilda went on. “Say what you will, but those guys are stupid. By the time they can make a better case for being romantic, they already gave up on it. So they just settle with a griffon gal to have some eggs.”
“Can’t a female…” And Gilda knew what the question Fluttershy was asking next.
“Nope, has to be a mare, and it has to be due to a union or something,” Gilda finished her myth lesson with some pride. “Not just some griffon that wants a cool kid,” she added. “Otherwise, it just won’t work. Like nothing happens or something, so it’s still a myth among myths.”
While Fluttershy did seem interested, musing more and more on that little story, Gilda went back to her original point.
“Anyway, us griffons don’t do so well with you ponies half the time,” she continued. “Either due to that or other reasons. So I think I was the only griffon who even bothered with joining Junior Speedsters in years,” Gilda said with her claws behind her head, almost relaxed. Somehow, the hard questions were feeling like a chat. Or maybe she was losing it again, becoming friendly despite herself.
“And even then, that was because they looked more fun than all the same boring griffon military fight training,” Gilda added with a shrug “I had that in done in weeks! Way too easy for me!” she said with pride.
“So, why did you choose Dash for a friend?” Dr. Shy asked with caution.
She gulped nervously as the griffon looked back at her, making it clear it was a thin ice issue. While the pegasus could see Gilda had bit of anger in her eyes, she answered it with a friendly look.
“If what you said is true, griffons only abide ponies most of the time,” Fluttershy added. “What made her special to you?”
Gilda looked away and said the same thing from the day before. “Rainboom,” she said.
“Please,” Shy pleaded, holding a hoof out gently. “I know there’s more. Otherwise it wouldn't hurt you so much. Maybe it could help with letting go of that anger.”
“I wished I could do that,” Gilda said simply, feeling tired of the exercise the pony kept insisting on.
“Were you jel- ” Shy was about to ask, but the griffon cut her off. While Gilda wanted to give her another angry ramble, it felt more like telling a story to her.
“I’d been used to ponies that talked a big game, but were total losers like the rest of them,” Gilda explained more on that memory, with hope Fluttershy would stop asking. “They were dumb as rocks, not all that as usual. And I could fly circles around their dumb faces, laughing as they ate my dust.”
The griffon sighed for a moment. She was feeling nostalgic now, even if she tried not to be.
“Then there she was, and even I knew rainbooms were rare to nonexistent with you guys,” she continued. “No one else, nopony else could do something that cool.”
“I see,” Dr. Shy replied writing a few more notes. She mostly kept silent, not wanting to ruin Gilda’s story.
“I was best flyer in Imperiu Rece,” Gilda added with pride. “I even got a royal scholarship from our empress,” She was feeling good, and Shy seemed to notice with some of her own pride. “Then that cool griffon meets the first only cool pony in Equestria. Maybe they’d have awesome adventures?” But her nostalgia fell into sad past memories. “I mean, why wouldn't that be cool if it happened?”
“Did you idolize her?” Fluttershy asked with interest. “I see how she meant a lot to you.”
“Maybe,” Gilda answered with a shrug, energy now draining. “Like I said, ponies are losers. So she was the only one I could relate to. She was way cooler than the rest.”
“How so?” Doctor Fluttershy looked happy with the progress she was making, and Gilda didn’t seem to mind, despite herself. “What was she like back then that make her that cool?”
“I remember this one time at flight camp, there was this wild storm front that rolled in,” Gilda told that story like it was just yesterday. “It was the kind you get told to go nowhere near, right?” she began with enjoyment. “Us griffons aren’t afraid of anything, but most ponies just huddle is safety like wusses. I could see that when I tried to dare the other pegasus ponies to come with me to fly in it.” she told her story a smile.
“Only Dash was bad enough to come with me,” she continued, and Gilda’s smile got bigger then. “We flew through the storm, the rain, even dodged the lightning bolts. It was so awesome! I remember mocking those storm clouds for missing so badly while Dash tried so hard not to laugh.”
Shy even let out a laugh of her own as Gilda did. “Heh, or maybe she was crying in panic at times, that storm was something fierce,” Gilda said as she enjoyed a light laughed. “ It was like lightning all over the place. And we were back at camp an hour later, when the counselors saw we were gone and came after us.”
Even as the story winded down, Shy still took interest. “Did you two get in trouble?” she asked.
“Sure, we got a detention outta it, but we rode the storm!” Gilda said with pride. “Totally bad!”
Gilda found herself doing the horns with her talons. Somehow, Shy missed the point of it. She only blinked at the gesture.
“Um, bad good or bad bad?” Fluttershy asked, unsure what that meant. “um, never mind.” She shook her head. “So why did things go so badly later on?” she asked the somber griffon. “Is it because you couldn't stand her having friends that were...uncool to you?.”
Gilda let out sigh, her enjoyment for talking was gone now. Now it was back to this mess she hated to be in.
“The junior speedsters were a bunch of dorks, not even worth mentioning,” she said. “And you guys were just as much of third wheels as they were! Then that stupid party…” Gilda just stopped then. The full memory of if it made her cold, angry.
“Do you still blame Pinkie?” Dr. Shy asked, a bit afraid of the answer. “Or Dash?”
“I blame all of you,” Gilda said coldly, catching the pony off guard. “You made me some loser to call out on! And it doesn't matter who set those pranks. I should have just known Dash was just as much of a dork as you all where.”
“Why?” Fluttershy asked, but Gilda didn’t answer her.
The griffon just sat there, unsure if she would cry or dig her claws into the sofa or both. Gilda clenched her claws and teeth, letting out a growl as she didn’t even want to be near this pony anymore.
Fluttershy seemed to notice, her face softening. “Please, talk to me.” she said quietly. “I don’t want you to feel unhappy with ponies. Or anyone else for that matter.”
“I gave up on that crud,” Gilda said bitterly. “Jr Speedsters, advanced flying lessons, all of it.” Her tone only got more grim. “I sent my trophies back home, so I didn’t have any reminders of it. Then I just wanted to give up on all this friendship crud! So I wandered around for awhile.”
“Why did you give up, Gilda?” Dr. Shy asked a bit off hoof. “Couldn't you find anyone then?”
“Like you asked, I did kinda idolize her or whatever,” Gilda said with a claw on her head, letting out a sigh. Her anger wasn’t working out, all she felt was depression. “The only pony I thought was worth meeting with and not just another pegasus that talked about how cool they were. But she ends up being lame as usual.” She shrugged. “Why should I try to be cool with all these lame ponies around me?”
“And how did your wandering go, Gilda?” Dr. Shy asked, going back to her neutral base. Apparently seeing Gilda was only going to get more upset on the issue. “What did you do back then? I know you mentioned a job.”
“Drinking, fighting, got a job for a caravan…” Gilda trailed off with that memory, to her it was a blur. “Stuff.”
“Drinking?” Like usual, ponies were not into drinking as Fluttershy showed.
Gilda about face clawed, knowing the pony probably didn’t even know what pipe weed was either.
“You guys got salt lick,” Gilda said simply. “Us griffons got frothy mugs of griffon whiskey, minotaur wine flagons, goat ale, changeling brewed green fae….”
“Um…” Dr. Shy seemed surprised by that long list, but got Gilda back on track “How long was this time you were drifting?”
“Maybe a year, maybe two?” she said with another shrug. “I lost count, didn’t care even. I don’t think anyone else counted either, seeing as it didn’t matter to them either.” Gilda sighed as she got up from the couch. “It won’t matter anyway.”
“Why?” Dr. Shy said, also getting up from her seat. Unlike the last session, she didn’t try to rush to stop the unhappy griffon.
“Becauses my life doesn’t have a reset button,” Gilda said, going back upstairs. “And I’m just that bad guy ponies get to point at. So it don’t matter what I do now.”
If Fluttershy had any further words on that matter, Gilda wasn’t in the mood to hear them. The griffon just wanted to go sulk or break something in half, maybe both.