The Non-Relic

by Zackrobbman


#2 Fired Both Ways

After the grim news, Backbone informed Daring about her court date following her release from the hospital. It was to be a private court session with no jury, and Daring knew that wasn't good. You see, Celestia's ability to rule is solely focused on the amount she shows. There's nothing unloving about justice or punishing criminals, but the death penalty and banishment were still viewed as a kind of taboo in Equestria. To see their ruler personally condemn one her own subjects to death would be like watching a beloved mother stab one of her children through the heart.
It would make her seem like stone-hearted dictator underneath her warm smile, and everyone hates fake smiles. Even though Celestia wasn't like that at all, she didn't want to deal with rumors about her "dictator side". Her subjects were already slightly fearful of her because of her past. Rumors of her in battle when things weren't so harmonious give even the toughest of the royal guard nightmares. Luna had seen it herself.
Hence, whenever crimes were bad enough to be brought before the princesses themselves, they were held privately.
Daring wanted very badly to forget this knowledge. Unfortunately, for the next two days, she couldn't. She did nothing but stare blankly at the wall in front of her bed and barely talked at all the few times Backbone visited her.
You'd think she'd be more appreciative of her only real friend, but nope. Silence. Then again, he was also being very quiet. He was just as nervous as her, if not much more. He couldn't imagine living his life without daring. Well, actually no. He could. He'd fix things for money for the rest of his life and die of loneliness and a bitter heart, much like I think I will. It's no little known fact that most fanfic authors are single. I'd like to say i don't know why, but from what I'm writing and what I've read, I think I know why. We're generally just, plain, weird.
....
Ahem!
So Daring waited anxiously, at times breaking into sweats. From what Backbone had told her, she'd basically committed heavy treason against Equestria. How, he didn't know. Or if he did, he wouldn't tell her.
Part of her knew why she was being tried. It was common knowledge that the center of the Everfree was off limits to adventurers, but Daring didn't know why. She figured it was because of the immense power involved and how dangerous one pony could become if they held the power of the Everfree in their ha-HOOVES, but there were no laws stating that the center of the Everfree was to be left alone. Also, Daring and her family had been given an actual permit by Celestia herself that allowed them to handle rare or powerful objects without national supervision. Had she over-stepped an unsaid but obvious boundary? If so, she could argue that over-stepping boundaries was her job.
The moment her wings and head had healed enough for her release, guards were already pouring into the hospital to fetch her. FAR too many guards. Celestia's personal Day guards at that. It was a known fact that Daring was a dangerous and resourceful pony, but she doubted she was dangerous enough to take down one Day guard. Let alone a dozen.
They escorted her to a carriage outside of the hospital where she found Celestia sitting stoically in one of the seats. She looked over to Daring with her famous poker face and motioned for her to get into the carriage. Celestia said nothing as Daring got inside. Every time Daring dared to look up at her, she found that same poker face staring scorching holes into her.
The ride to the castle court room was pure torture. Celestia remained silent the whole ride. Daring felt like her stomach was burning from some secret spell Celestia had cast. She wanted to jump off the carriage as it zoomed through the sky, but her wings weren't yet ready for that kind of strain, and she'd be speared through a few dozen times before reaching the edge of the carriage.
That chrome copy of Discord had planned to kill her before mutilating her body. She feared that Celestia wouldn't give her that privilege.
Finally, the castle was in sight. Guards bowed before the princess as they landed on a large balcony over-looking Canterlot. Celestia and the guards wasted no time in ushering Daring out of the carriage and into the castle.
Then, in a flash of light from Celstia's horn, they were in what appeared to be the royal court-room. Daring noticed that she was sitting down in a wooden chair and that Celestia was seated in front of her in the center of a tall, marble-white, half-circle, desk. To her right sat an extremely angry Luna, who's eyes were literally smoking white.
Surprisingly, sitting to the far left of Celestia, was discord. It was common knowledge that he was now completely reformed. Giant goat-demon things tend to have that effect on pretty much any creature. He seemed worried, something she couldn't help but be fascinated by. And scared. Discord seldom worried about anything until things got serious. As in, the-world-is-about-to-end serious.
Two guards stood behind her by the entrance to the courtroom, which was strange seeing as no one cared enough to use it. Did every door in the castle have a pair of guards to watch over them? Perhaps they measured the success of their careers by how many doors they'd guarded?
"Daring Do," addressed Celestia, causing Daring to jump in her seat. "Do you know why you are here?"
Daring stared at the princess, beginning to sweat. She didn't. Nope. Not even in the slightest. Telling Celestia that would make her appear unrepentant, and an unrepentant criminal is the worst kind.
Or not. I don't own a book of general, philosophical sayings.
Daring tugged at her collar, wishing she had her pith helm with her at that moment to help her feel more confident and less sweaty. She figured she'd better speak up before Celestia had a chance to angrily rephrase the question.
"Um...to be honest, your majesty...no. I haven't the slightest idea."
"LIES!" shouted Luna in the royal Canterlot voice, causing the room to shake and Daring to jump and cover her face with her hooves. She was daring. Not fearless. So I wouldn't advise holding it against her, especially since a complete lack of fear is stupidity. "THINE MASTERS SEEK TO DECIEVE US SISTER!"
"Calm yourself sister." said Celestia in soothing voice. "I understand that you have personal ties to this case, but we must up-hold justice. Not the blind accusations of our hearts."
Luna, with much difficulty, finally composed herself and made her eyes cease their furious glow. Daring peeked at her from behind her hooves, sighing with relief. She'd already experienced a sliver of the moon princesses strength when she'd been blown off a ship and hurled into a tree. She doubted that her fathers righteous fury could stand up to her.
"Ms. Do," began Celestia. "You are being put on trial for the release of one of Equestrias most lethal threats."
Daring was taken aback by the statement. Forgetting formality, she voiced her concern.
"W-What? How? Who?"
Celestia stared at her with a stoic, yet contemplative stare.
"Do you recall what you found in the Everfree?" asked Celestia without breaking eye contact.
"Y-yes." said Daring. "I...I found what I think was the equivalent of the temple of chaos and then saved this weird looking creature that seemed to be the source of it all." Daring almost didn't notice Celestia wince when she mentioned the creature. "I'm guessing that the creature is reason I'm here?"
"Boy." corrected Celestia.
"Huh?"
"He isn't a creature. He's just a boy."
There was a moment of silence as Daring waited for Celestia to elaborate. To her surprise, Celestia got up from her seat and began walking towards the stairs leading to the main floor.
"The Everfree has been the cause of many problems throughout the years." started the sun princess as she walked. To Daring's relief, she was no longer looking at her. "Manticores." she started down the stairs slowly. "Cockatrices." her golden-clad hooves touched the main floor. "Ursa's that trample whole villages in one fell swoop." she began her slow trot towards daring. "And many other creatures nopony has ever lived to tell about." she stopped in front of daring, focusing her unreadable expression on her once more. "One may begin to think, 'Why won't the princesses do anything about the Everfree?'." she kneeled down to look daring straight into her freaked out, crimson, eyes. "What do you think Daring?"
The adventurer felt like she couldn't move. Daring had never been personally spoken to by the princess for this long. She mainly communicated her exploits and adventures with the princesses through mail correspondence. The few times she had spoken with Celestia, she seemed genuinely happy, as if nothing Daring told her could possibly anger her. Now, although she couldn't tell what the bearer of the sun was feeling, Daring knew it wasn't happiness. No. It was something else. She couldn't help but wonder if this was the face Celestia wore when when she killed somepony.
Considering all this, Daring was aware of the context within the princess's question. She knew that Celestia was aware of Daring's research skills. She knew Daring had come upon the same question while trying to find out what was causing the flow of chaos in the Everfree. Daring didn't want to answer that question now because of her answer before.
She didn't know. And she didn't care.
After realizing she wouldn't get an answer due to Daring's conflicted state, Celestia sighed and resumed walking passed her.
"You see Daring," began the princess in a slightly louder tone. "Not every hole has a golden horse shoe at the bottom." Daring turned to look at the princess and saw her standing in the walkway bisecting the jury seating area. She turned to stare back at Daring with a look no longer hollow. Her face now looked pained. "Sometimes, it's just a dark, bottomless, pit."
Understanding Celestia's point, Daring's ears splayed backwards in shame. Her father had told her that once, but she disregarded it as something she'd never really need to take into account. He'd told her that her special talent wasn't discovering secrets for personal gain. It was to keep those secrets away from those that would misuse them. She could still remember what her father said a few days before she'd left out to start her own life.
"A good cutie mark doesn't make a good pony. A bad cutie mark doesn't make a bad pony. That's entirely up the bearer."
Seeing the guilty expression on Daring's face, Celestia trotted up to her and lifted her...chin? Snout? She then looked into Daring eyes with a comforting, but stern look only she could really do.
"Now do you understand why you're here?" asked Celestia softly.
"Yes." said Daring plainly. She was aware that her ego and personal want may have put Equestria at risk, and nothing displeased Celestia more than hurting her subjects.
Celestia sighed as she released Daring.
"When this duty was assigned to you and your parents, you all became very dangerous ponies. Your father could track down anything no matter how far or well hidden. You're mother always found a way, even if there wasn't one to begin with." Celestia's expression hardened, causing Daring to inch backwards into her seat. "Then they bore a child that could do both these things as her special talent. On top of that, they conditioned you to be a killer if it came to it, and I find it has come to that many times."
Daring suddenly had a flashback of the night she had to defend herself against three griffon assassins. She could still remember standing in the moonlight of her window with a knife in her mouth, covered in the blood of her assailants as she stared at their motionless, maimed, bodies. Shaking the memory away as she did with so many others like it, she swallowed at what Celestia was implying.
"Your general skillset and the fact that I've trusted you with the powerful artifacts you find practically makes you a threat to Equestria yourself. You understand why I've had to take such a heavy-hoofed approach."
Daring nodded. She could only imagine the damage her father could've done had he decided to basically turn evil. Her mother would be even worse.
With a reciprocated nod and a flash of blinding light, Celestia was back behind the judges counter.
"Daring do," said the sun bearer with authority. "As punishment for your actions," Daring shrunk back and winced like she was about to take a punch. It might as well have been. "You are hear-by banned from any activities regarding your duty as the royal treasury protector." Daring opened her eyes, thinking she'd heard her wrong. No, she wasn't relieved. The death penalty would have been better. She looked up to Celestia with a look of pure shock and betrayal.
"How long?" Daring asked, once again not caring about the rule to remain silent in the court unless permitted to speak. Luna was visibly agitated by this.
"Until further notice." said Celestia with a slow nod.
Daring's tense posture drooped a little as she thought of the pros of her current predicament.
At least I'm not banned forever. Maybe. I guess I can work with maybe. I usually work with maybe's.
"In addition," said Celestia as she held up a hoof causing daring's ears to flick upwards. "You will be moved to Ponyville where you will be closely monitored by Twilight Sparkle." Daring didn't mind being watched by Twilight Sparkle. She was a fan, but she wasn't...overly attached to be euphemistical. She could already imagine waking up in the middle of the night to see that rainbow maned pegasus watching her sleep through a window. Daring shuddered at the thought. "This is being done for both your physical and mental safety. Complete isolation is seldom good for either of these."
Discord gave a half-hearted chuckle which caused luna to give him a stern look. Luna often doubted her sisters call to make him an official judge, but even she knew that Discord wasn't stupid. He was actually a few centuries older than both her and her sister, making him quite experienced. Considering his recent double-reformation and his refusal to kill any-pony throughout all his years as a menace, it could be said that he still maintained a sliver of justice in his metaphysical heart.
A sliver that was growing gradually bigger over time. Celestia felt that he would make a great judge someday. He just needed a little practice. Or alot. The point is, he was there to mainly watch and learn.
Most court dates, Disocrd sat behind the judges counter looking like an angry old man. But not this one. After all, it was his fault any of this was happening. Because of his recently reformed conscience, it bothered him to no end.
"Lastly," said Celestia, ignoring Discords antics. "You will be charged with the supervision of the boy you found in the Everfree." Daring's eyes widened in shock.
"But, I thought you said-" Celestia silenced her with a raised hoof.
"True, he may be dangerous, but so are you. I feel you both could benefit from some time in Ponyville."
Realizing that she couldn't argue, Daring accepted her charge with a sigh. She'd freed it, now she'd have to take care of it. If she didn't and something bad happened, she guessed that she'd be the first to get the sharp end of the stick. It was only fair right?
"Do you wish to make an appeal against your verdict?" asked Celestia. Daring felt like the question was a threat.
"No, your highness." said Daring with a defeated shake of her head.
"Understood. Do the other judges concur?"
"I concur." said Discord as he looked out one of the many large windows in the room with a thoughtful look. Celestia nodded and looked to her sister, who was glaring at Daring. After what seemed like hours, the moon bearer sighed through gritted teeth.
"I...concur." said luna with a shake of her head. Smiling softly, Celestia nodded once more before shifting her gaze to Daring.
"Good."



---------------------------------------------------------------------




"That's...actually not that bad." said Backbone with a shrug. "Gives you more time to write."
He and Daring were standing at the back of a train heading for Ponyville, getting some fresh air. The wind billowed through Daring's hair as she gazed at Canterlot's shrinking form with the sun setting behind it. She gave a snort in bitter agreement.
"I guess." said Daring.
"Beats letting Luna get a piece of you." said Backbone with a half-hearted smile that didn't phase Daring's angry, depressed, demeanor in the slightest.
"Barely." she said with her muzzle resting on the railing.
"I didn't think you hated being cooped up that much."
"I do."
"Well, c'mon. It's Ponyville. Stuff always happens there."
"Why are you coming with me?"
Backbone seemed offended by the question.
"What do you mean, why am I coming with you? Have you forgotten my love poem?"
Daring cringed, trying not to smile.
"No. Have you forgotten the oath?"
"I never agreed to take that oath."
Daring buried her head into her hooves on the railing, splaying her ears backwards.
"...Please....please don-"
"Whether it be arrows or swords that run me through,"
"I will grind your face into these train tracks."
"My special somepony,"
"BACKBONE!"
"Will always be daring dAGH!"
Before Backbone could even register Daring's movements, she had him in a chokehold. For any other stallion, it would have been deadly after the first few seconds, but Backbone's throat was unusually thick and strong. He could stay like that for at least half an hour. Well, he would have if Daring hadn't tipped him over the railing with his face inches from the railroad tracks. She wasn't trying to pointlessly strangle him anymore, but Backbone was sure he'd asphyxiate himself by screaming. Daring was holding him by his tail with her mouth.
"AAAAAAH! PULLMEUPPULLMEUP!"
"I warnsh dyou!" said Daring as she resisted the urge to laugh and accidentally kill him.
"IACCEPTTHEOATH!"
Daring's smirk grew as she leaned her head down and to the side as if to hear him more clearly. This in turn caused Backbone's muzzle to hover half an inch above the train tracks.
"Whaaaaadsh?"
"I ACCEPT THE OATH!"
"Goodsh."
With a painful and powerful yank, Daring pulled Backbone back over the railing. He fell on his belly, hyperventilating with a terrified expression. Daring began girlishly giggling uncontrollably with a crooked smile.
"You..."said Backbone through gasps for air. "Have a....SICK...sense of humor."
"Hmhm! I know!"
Smiling at his near-death attempt to make her laugh and cheer up, he gradually got back up to his hooves and regained control of his breathing.
"What if a bump in the tracks caused you to drop me?"
"I don't know." said Daring as she began to calm down. "Whoops?"
"You really are insane."
"Yep!"
"That's hot."
Daring blushed and looked away as she walked back over to the railing, now looking more happy and content.
"So," she began. "The princesses said it would be okay if you came with me?"
"Yeah." said Backbone as he approached the railing to stand next to Daring. "They figured a paid vacation in Ponyville would kind of make up for nearly blasting me and my sister to smithereens."
"For how long?"
"Until they build me another ship." chuckled Backbone. "Regardless, I insisted that they let me keep working. To keep busy and all that."
"Sounds like you." said Daring with a smile. "You always hated mooching off of other ponies."
"What about that thing?" asked Backbone as he scratched his head.
"Huh?"
"That creature you found in the Everfree. Didn't they say he was coming with you? I didn't see him on the train."
"Boy." corrected Daring.
"What?"
"It's a boy. At least that's what Celestia told me."
Backbone raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
"So, this boy is the reason you had to go to royal court? Why?"
Daring shrugged.
"Celestia knows I'm curious but she hasn't told me. I'm guessing she wants this hush-hush."
"Yeah." said Backbone with a yawn. "Luna told me not to talk about it to anyone other than you. She kinda threatened me."
"I figured. Anyway, he's supposed to be arriving in a few days. Probably have to domesticate the kid or something."
Backbone simply nodded and enjoyed the beautiful, yet somehow still threatening, sight of the sun receding behind Canterlot. He felt that the sunset and sun-rise were done with different suns. One indicated beauty, love, and hope. The other symbolized dread, coming darkness, and, for some reason he couldn't put his hoof on, bloodshed. Much like Celestia herself.
There were biographies of Princess Twilight, Princess Cadence, and even princess Luna, but there were absolutely none of Princess Celestia. No one knew anything about her past other than what was passed down by word-of-mouth, and most of the stories did not seem realistic. They were scary.
Daring yawned and stretched, having thought of similar things unbeknownst to Backbone. The only difference being that she associated herself with bloody sunsets more so than Celestia. She was tired. Anytime she was bothered by bad memories, she was tired. She wanted to sleep.
"I'm turning in." she said simply, much to Backbone's surprise.
"No make out session before bed?" asked Backbone with a smirk as Daring walked to the door leading inside the train.
"As tempting as that sounds, I want enough patience to deal with Ponyville tomorrow." Daring said as she opened the door. She stopped and turned around with a raised eyebrow. "You're okay with that right?"
"Honestly?" said Backbone with warm smile. "I've been more than content with the little, meaningful pecks you give me on rare occasions. Looking forward to them keeps me going."
"No they don't." said Daring.
"Hey, I'm not friends with the Apple family for my dishonesty."
Daring knew he was right, so she couldn't stop the oncoming blush. She hated how this one stallion could make her blush like a little school-filly. Perhaps it was because he was the first to take an interest in her? She'd been kind of a loner until she'd gotten him literally wrapped up into one of her adventures three years ago. But thats a story for another time. Or, in Daring's mind, a Joke for another time.
She looked into the train car. There wasn't anyone inside, and it was pitch dark with the windows being the only sources of light. She stepped inside, but then stepped back because of a memory.
She didn't like trains.
"Actually?" said Daring without looking back. "You mind turning in with me?"
Backbone had been watching her, anticipating her actions, her memories, and her question. She'd told him stories about trains that even scared him.
"Of course." he said, his warm smile apparent in his tone. Daring didn't dare enter the train until Backbone was at her side. She then proceeded to slowly make her way towards one of the seats, her crimson eyes wide and her ears perked up in full alert. She stared at the comfy looking couch before her. No matter how much she stared at it, she couldn't imagine sleeping there.
"Here." said Backbone before biting the cushion on the couch. With barely any effort, he ripped the cushion off the couch and layed it on the floor of the train car.
"What are you doing?" asked Daring. "That's property damage!"
"Celestia's got my back." he said as he ripped off another cushion. She watched in confused shock as he proceeded to do this with eight other cushions, rendering the train cart couch-less. He arranged the cushions on the floor into what Daring assumed was a large bed.
Big enough for the two of them.
"Oh."
"Yeah." said Backbone before dragging two large covers from one of the train compartments. Daring trotted to the makeshift mattress and sat down. Backbone draped the covers over her and laid down beside the blushing adventurer.
"You don't have to-"
"I want to." said Backbone cutting her off. Using one of his large upper legs, he effortlessly dragged her closer to him until she could feel his heartbeat through the covers.
"This is embarrassing." she mumbled.
"You need to sleep." said Backbone. "I'm hoping this will keep you from having night mares and socking me in the jaw when you wake up. Or worse."
Daring giggled.
"You're stupid."
"Those punches hurt man. They remind me of the days when I used to spar with my old man."
"How's he doing?" asked Daring after a pause.
"Bedridden, but I bet he could still tie knots with my spine if he really wanted to."
Daring giggled again.
"Thanks. For everything."
"You heard my poem right?"
"Oh, I'm never going to forget that." said Daring before pecking him on the cheek playfully and snuggling up to him. She was a loner, but so was Backbone. Why? Well, it's hard to make friends when you spend ninety percent of your time in the air and only talk to an insane mare that thinks nearly killing you is funny. Daring was a loner because she didn't want anypony to get killed by proximity Two negatives make a positive right? No one really wants to be alone.