Fluttershy and Twilight led Rainbow Dash down the middle of the street by a magically enchanted piece of rope, the rope coiled around the neck of the supposedly zombified pegasus like a makeshift leash. Neat Freak and Spike remained behind, as Neat Freak had to get home soon before dinner got cold. This was an extensive process, as he counted every street lamp on his way home, and if the last lamp before his house turned out to be an odd number, then he had to circle all the way around town again until he came up with an even number.
"Make sure you fill me on on everything, Twilight!" Spike called, and Twilight promised she would. They were taking the pegasus over to Fluttershy's shed, all jokes aside, and Fluttershy was just running ahead to clear the building out of snakes, when the voice came.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!"
All three of them stopped, momentarily dumbstruck, and looked around stupidly for a moment before fixating on the origin of the face. A young mare whom they had seen around town several times but never actually spoken to was galloping towards him with all the speed of a wild, unbroken animal, raising up an enormous cloud of dust behind her. Her color scheme was a soothingly complimentary mix of blue and white, and she was completely out of breath by the time she reached the trio.
"I...stop..." she panted, chest heaving.
Twilight frowned a moment. She slightly recognized the face, but couldn't place her right away. "Hey, wait a moment," she said slowly. "Aren't you..."
"I am Colgate," the mare said, gradually getting her breath back. "Ponyville dentist. Miss Rainbow Dash is... was... is?..." she sounded unsure. "My most recent patient. Unfortunately she has an enormous phobia of dentists, and managed to escape."
"Escape?" Twilight asked.
"Rainbow Dash is scared of the dentist? But she's always told me she's not scared of anything," Fluttershy said. She sounded a bit hurt, and her ears were folded back. "I can't believe she'd lie to me like that..."
"Everypony is scared of something," Colgate said. "But Rainbow Dash is a special case. I had to make an appointment with her because she had two cavities. Not surpisingly, really. Do you have any idea how high the sugar content is in sweet cider? It's astronomical. I've been trying to get a more healthy and natural cider manufactured, but no dice," she sighed.
Twilight still looked stunned. "I'm afraid I'm still a bit confused," she said. "What is wrong with her? She's... slow," she said this last bit as if it was about as commonplace as zebra rap battles.
"Miss Dash was given the usual dose of sedative in the chair," Colgate explained. "She resisted. I gave her a second dose, which should have been enough to knock out an Ursa Minor. She STILL resisted, only now in a semi delirious state. I've never seen anything like it. She spat out the protective mouthguard I'd given her and wound up biting her own tongue by accident."
"That explains the blood," Fluttershy said, and winced.
"Now, the sedative isn't dangeous, but it is powerful, and I've never had to give a double dose before, let alone three. She finally settled down after the third one, and when I went to get my tools, she wandered right out the door," Colgate said. "I've... never seen any resistance like this in my entire career. She really, REALLY hates the dentist. Will you help me get her back in the chair before she wakes up? Three doses should put her out of it for a week, which by my calculations gives us about an hour."
"Of course," Twilight and Fluttershy agreed. The absurdity of this situation had not escaped them, but it also made an odd sort of sense as well. And there was Rainbow Dash's fear of the dentist secret to be considered too. They were never going to let her live this down.
"Bring her to my office," Colgate said. "And put her in... the comfy chair!"
"Not the comfy chair!" Fluttershy squeaked.
---
"All done!" Colgate announced two hours later. Even with Rainbow Dash given three doses of sedative, STILL she seemed to know she was in the chair, and squirmed just enough that Twilight and Fluttershy had to stand on either side of her, holding her down while the dentist finished her work.
"Gruuuhhh," Dash protested, squirming uselessly.
"There," Colgate gasped at last, and set down her primitive tools. "It's over. It's done. Finally." She wiped sweat from her forehead with a towel. "Rainbow Dash will be fully awake by tomorrow, though she'll probably have a nasty headache. She'll be alright after that. But if she keeps drinking all that cider, she WILL be back in this chair," she warned. "Guarantee it."
Twilight sighed. "Thank you for all your help," she said. "And even though we were more hesitant to jump to conclusions this time, I'm really glad there's still no such thing as zombies."
"Me too," Fluttershy agreed. "Still, I can't help feeling like we're forgetting something..."
---
Across town, Pinkie Pie stood in the backyard of a young colt named Raging Rapids. The colt and his family for him she'd thrown the birthday party had long since gone inside for cake and presents, leaving Pinkie by herself for the last twenty minutes, standing outside crying to herself with hopeless tears streaming down her face.
"This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend...
Somepony started singing it not knowing what it was,
Now they're forever singing it just because
SOMEPONY MAKE IT STOP!" she screamed hysterically, and the song continued again.