It’s been 15 years since General Lee betrayed us. 15 years in the pen with Orange Swirl and Cesaer Salad. We moved to an actual prison after we turned 18. It’s my 25th birthday today, and like all my birthdays, Jelly Jam and Elusive both come over to spend the day with me. Things have changed for both of them over the years. So I went to the visiting room so I can speak to them.
“Jelly! Elusive!” I said excitedly as I gave both of them a big hug.
“Jerry!” Jelly said excitedly. “I’m glad you’re alright.”
”Sis, you’ve been saying that for 15 years!” I chuckled. “I’ve been ok ever since.”
”We’re just worried for you, sweetheart.” Elusive said.
“Don’t worry, Elusive, I’m fine.” I said. “I’ll always be fine! You two have been visiting me every single month! You two are the ones that kept me sane these last many years!”
”I’m sorry you can’t say the same to Orange and Cesaer.” Jelly said.
“Prison has driven them mad.” I said. “They’ve been more violent, and less tolerable towards my reasoning. Orange has even been writing down marks on our cell wall ever since General Lee betrayed us. Which reminds me, did you two find anything about him lately? Is he still that famous stuntspony on TV?”
“Tonight on PNT,” the TV announcer said on the TV near by. “General Lee fights the law again with his pals Heart Duke, Clubs Duke, Diamond Duke, Spade Duke, and each of his Las Haygus mobster friends only on… Hazards of Duke!” just then, General Lee plays his famous Dixie-horn on TV, and then the TV announcer mumbles fast, “Which is nothing like Dukes of Hazards.”
“I really would’ve thought karma would’ve gotten to him, but he seems to be a famous TV star now.” I said. “He doesn’t even feel sad in any of these flicks. He seems happy.”
”He may look happy on the outside, but on the inside, he might feel dead in there.” Elusive said.
”I don’t know for sure, but I really want to find him.” I said.
“Revenge isn’t the best solution, Jer.” Elusive said.
“Yeah, Jer, it’s not healthy to have a grudge on a pony. Just look at Orange and Cesaer.” Jelly reminded me.
“I know.” I nodded. “You know, you two really mean a lot to me. It would seem that I could only tell you two anything. Orange and Cesaer… I have little hope for them.”
”But don’t give up on them, Jer. They’re your friends, and they always will be.” Elusive said. “You have history with them, just like you have history with us.”
”Yeah and the only history I ever had with you was that one day back in Elementary School and the rest behind a glass.” I teased. The three of us all laughed.
”It’s true!” Elusive nodded.
“So Jelly, how’s that new novel coming along?” I asked.
“Just as successful as all the others!” Jelly said. “Maybe I’ll give you a copy before anypony else gets to read! I know how much you love Jelly ‘n the Jam!”
“Yep! It’s a very fascinating novel.” I said. “A story about how your possibilities are endless.”
”For everywhere you go, there are always choices to make.” Jelly said. “Is wherever your going journey or a destination? Does every destination have a journey, or does every journey have a destination? You’ll never know unless you try!”
”It’s the third thing that kept me sane these past few years!” I said.
“I’m proud of you, Jer!” Jelly said. “Once you get outta here, I know you’ll be just as successful as me, if not better!”
”You’re just saying that.” I smirked at her.
“You know me too well, bro.” Jelly chuckled.
“How about you, Elusive?” I asked. “How’s the famous night club coming along?”
“It’s the best club in Las Pegasus!” Elusive said.
“Are drinks still on you by the time I get out?” I asked.
”Actually, Jer, I have something even better!” Elusive said. “Since it’s your birthday and all, I want to give you a present!”
“Did you wrap it up and put a little bow on it?” I asked.
Elusive giggled. “I should’ve. It really would’ve looked stylish! But no, its nothing like that, darling.”
”What is it then?” I asked.
“You’ll really like it, Jer!” Jelly said. “It’ll give you a little something when you get outta here. An actual job!”
”Does it require a college education?” I asked. “Because juvey only has up to high school education, and unlike Orange and Cesaer, I took that opportunity! I really told them to go with me to those sessions but they refused.”
“Their loss, right?” Jelly asked.
”Faust save the queen!” I nodded.
“Here it is!” Elusive said as he puts a piece of paper on the table.
“What’s this? A waver?” I asked.
“Sort of.” Elusive said. “This is a contract for a timeshare at my club!”
”A what?” I asked.
”I want you to become a co-owner of my club at Las Pegasus, The Jam!” Elusive said.
”The Jam? Really?” I asked. “You named a club after me?”
”It was Jelly’s idea.” Elusive admitted.
“Hey you’re the one that had the crush on him, alright?” Jelly asked.
“Wow… I… I don’t know what to say!” I said shockingly. “A timeshare of your club? Really? What’s the catch?”
”You put up with me. That’s the payment for investing.” Elusive said.
“Really now? Because I always thought you had to put up with me here in prison.” I thought.
“I never had any friends at school.” Elusive said. “Me liking other stallions and all. Everypony was a hater, but not you and Jelly here! It meant so much to me that I wanted to help you get on your hooves when you finally get released!”
”Well I mean, you kinda paid me already while I was in here.” I said. “You kept me sane and gave me advise.”
”Well we both have eachother’s backs, right?” Elusive asked. “I want to throw you a bone, and give you a chance to make money.”
”Even though you have plenty already.” Jelly said.
”I didn’t think mom and dad would leave me anything, after… you know… their disappearance.” I said.
“Oh that’s right!” Elusive said shockingly. “It was all over the news that other day! Jam family disappears after son’s heist scandal and daughter’s disappearance!”
”It was tragic. Truly tragic.” Jelly said. “Nopony knows if they’re alive or not. The house was empty though so it seemed they moved out.”
”You never told me though. What of the land of Mareami?” I asked.
“Sold.” Jelly said. “The land was sold to an unknown source.”
“The Leafhorns? The Guns?” I asked.
”Neither of them for sure.” Jelly said. “But nopony knows who the land was sold to.”
”Then who’s doing the paperwork?” I asked.
“The mayor doesn’t say.” Jelly said.
“That makes me nervous.” I said. “There are so many questions, yet so little answers. Did General Lee mean to betray us? Where are our parents? Who was Mareami sold to, and when am I leaving?”
”Jerry Jam?” a guard got my attention.
“Yeah, mate?” I asked.
”Mate? I’m a guard you should show respect to!” the guard said to me. “Anyways, letting you know now, you and your friends are free to go tomorrow, so you better go pack your things. You know… the little things you have.”
”Wow! Isn’t this great, Jer? You’re leaving tomorrow!” Jelly said excitedly.
“Which gives you an even better reason to sign this contract!” Elusive persuaded me.
“C’mon, Elusive! I’ll need a lawyer first.” I said.
“I actually went to law school. I already read the contract, and everything seemed fair to me.” Jelly said.
“Don’t you trust me, Jer?” Elusive asked.
“All a better reason not to trust you.” I chuckled. “But in all serious, I am honored to work along side you, Elou!”
“Splendid! Splendid!” Elusive said excitedly as he jumped up down in his girly fashion.
“Shhhh!” I shushed him and laughed. “Trust me, Elou, you wouldn’t want to act like ‘yourself’ around here.”
”Right, right, sorry.” Elusive chuckled and blushed and sat back down.
I then suddenly signed his contract, feeling with pride. I knew this would be a good idea. It would seem everything is going to be ok! Time is finally on my side! “There! It’s done!” I said.
“Welcome to the team, partner!” Elusive said with his hoof out.
”Define partner.” I teased as I shook his hoof.
Elusive giggled. “Funny stallion! This stallion is funny!”
”He sure is, Elusive! He sure is!” Jelly agreed.
“Wait until I break the news with Orange and Cesaer!” I said excitedly. “We’re getting out of here!”
“I’ll get us some plane tickets to LP. That’s where Elusive and I are living at right now.” Jelly said.
“I hope Orange and Cesaer are ok with that.” I said. “They’d feel betrayed if I left them here. They’re oversensitive about me. Less tolerant over my reasoning, but also overprotective and oversensitive over me. They think I’d end up like Lee.”
”Then we’ll have to bring them along.” Jelly said.
“But their ‘hoods’ are here in Mareami.” I said.
“Their ‘hoods’ has expanded into national gangs. They’ve expanded to LP. It’ll feel like they’re at home!” Elusive said.
“Then they should be happy about that!” I said. “Anyways, I think going to Las Pegasus would be a tremendous new start for all of us! I mean, don’t get me wrong, Mareami will always be home, but going somewhere seeing celebrities making complete fools of themselves and going to rehab would make me feel a lot better inside. Let’s do it!”
“Brilliant!” Elusive said. “Now, Jer, I hope you don’t mind, but my plane leaves in a few hours today, so I have to head back to the club. I don’t trust my coltfriend looking after that place!”
“Be wise over your coltfriends, Elou.” I suggested. “This is your seventh one!”
”Stallions are all the same aren’t they?” Elusive complained.
“I wouldn’t know.” Jelly chuckled. “I was never in a relationship!”
”Why not, Jelly? It’ll be good for you!” I said.
“I know, but I guess I’m in love with my work!” Jelly said. “Anyways, I’ll be at the hotel, and I’ll come pick you up tomorrow! We’ll head back to LP together, and start off your new life!”
”So far, this has been an amazing birthday for me!” I nodded. “And yet, there’s no cake.”
”The prison has a no-cake policy to avoid smuggling.” Elusive said.
“Ah.” I nodded. “Yeah I kinda witnessed them putting that rule there.”
After a couple hours, Elusive and Jelly left. I didn’t want them around when I was going to tell Orange and Cesaer the news. When I got to our cell, I saw them happy for the first time in a long time. “You heard?” I asked.
“Heard what?” Cesaer aked.
“That we’re leaving today! Hay yeah, we heard! They just holla’d at us!” Orange said excitedly. “Time to say buh-bye to this dump, and finally go back to robbin’ and huntin’ down General Lee! After all these years! We finally have time on our side, homies!”
”Yeah, I know! I just said that a while ago!” I said.
“Can’t wait to get our hoods together and rob that Bank of Equestria building, J!” Cesaer said. “Just one last heist here in Mareami, and we’re movin’ on!”
”Las Pegaus?” I asked. “I actually thought that would be a good place to have a new start!
”It’s perfect!” Orange said. “I heard our hoods expanded into national gangs! Las Pegasus sounds like great new place to go out and robbing!”
”Wait, Cesaer. What happened to your taco truck idea?” I asked.
”Huh? Oh right, I forgot about that.” Cesaer remembers. “Well maybe I can use that as a front to sell illegal animal crackers! That’s your idea, right?”
”Huh? Oh, actually, I got this new deal. I have a timeshare now for a night club in LP.” I said.
“Right, I remembered… you gone soft!” Orange glared at me.
”Wait a minute, holms. It could all it be a set up! It could be another front for our operations! Good goin’, J!” Cesaer said.
”Yeah, I mean… unless your weird coltcuddler friend as a problem with us putting our operations there. We could kick him out!” Orange suggested.
“NO! The club is not a front! I given up on robbing, ok?” I reminded them. “I mean, I can’t tell you two what to do because you’re my best friends, but I’m done, alright? Maybe you and your hoods can team up and rob places, but I can’t interfere anymore. I’ve retired.”
”Suit yourself, homie.” Orange shrugged. “Cesaer and I have grown wise these last many years in prison. We don’t need your brains anymore! But we do need something from you.”
”And what is that?” I asked.
“We need you to help us track down General Lee.” Orange said.
“What?” I asked.
“You saw him. He betrayed us all.” Cesaer said. “We need to gain our revenge on him!”
”Revenge isn’t the best solution though!” I said.
“See? Jerry did get soft!” Orange said.
“J, if you don’t help us track down, GL, we might think you’d work with him.” Cesaer said. “Did you plan this out with him, J? Hmm?”
”No! No I didn’t! I didn’t expect him to leave us here!” I said.
“Then help us track him down and we’ll teach him a lesson he’ll never forget!” Orange swore.
“It’s all we want from you, J.” Cesaer said. “That, and your friendship, amigo. Don’t forget us about, y’hear?”
”Otherwise we’d still think you’d stab us in the back!” Orange added. “But we know better from you, dawg!”
”Also we’d like a cut from your timeshare at the club.” Cesaer added.
“Yeah, I mean, you’re rich, right?” Orange asked. “I mean, the three of us, we have history, fool! It’s to make sure we stay connected! Help us find Lee, give us a timeshare at your club, and we’re all good! Fo’ sure!”
”Yeah, J!” Cesaer nodded. “Our friendship means everything to O and me. Does it mean anything to you too?”
Its shame to admit it, but I don’t want to lose Orange and Cesaer as friends. We all have history. We’ve been betrayed by the same pony. I have to do this for them. I have to watch their backs and make sure they don’t get into too much trouble and get arrested again. I’m glad I did a good deed by turning us in, and I’m never robbing again, and I can’t control my friends’ actions for whatever they do out there, but I’ll make sure they’re safe. These two have strong connections and even stronger ones now, now that their hoods became powerful gangs. I’m still going to do my best and make sure they don’t find out the truth, and I am going to help them find General Lee, but I don’t want him harmed. I’ll have to think this through overnight.
The next day came, and that morning, we were finally released from prison. We got all of our stuff back, and our regular clothes. Well, Cesaer and Orange got their clothes back. Orange wears a black hoodie, and Cesaer wears a white tank-top and red headband, and I wear nothing. You may think it’s actually natural, but here in Mareami, and there in LP, ponies wear clothes often. It’s the small towns wear ponies don’t wear anything.
Cesaer inhales the air and says, “Smell that, boys? Smells like freedom!”
”Smells like pollution to me.” Orange said.
“We did it, mates! We survived prison!” I said.
”At what cost, Jer? At what cost?” Orange asked.
“Are we going to survive out here, J?” Cesaer asked.
“Relax, you two! It’s not going to be a ‘prison is the only place that understands me’ scenario. No, we’re starting over again, and we’re going to LP!” I said. “My sister has the tickets at the hotel room, so when she picks us up…”
”We’ll head over there!” Jelly said as she was just right there on a taxi carriage, waiting for us.
“Jelly Jam, baby! You look fine, girl!” Orange said.
“Yeah, um, thanks Orange!” Jelly said awkwardly.
“Gracias for picking us up, JJ!” Cesaer said.
”JJ?” Orange asked.
“Jerry’s already J, so I made Jelly JJ. Makes sense to avoid confusion.” Cesaer said.
“It’s fine, C!” Jelly teased. “Anyways, let’s head to the hotel and enjoy freedom! Our plane is going to leave for LP tonight at 6, so if any of you have any loose ends to tie up before we go, then by all means, do it!”
”Cesaer and I should go back to our hood and pack things up. We’ll tell them we’re out, and we’re going to be moving on to our branch at LP.” Orange said.
“I’m kinda nervous, holms! For being in prison so long, will they think we’re no use to them anymore? Would they think prison changed us?” Cesaer asked.
“They’ll only think that if we’re staying here, homie.” Orange said. “We move to LP, the homies there we never met before, so we’re pretty much a clean slate for the time being. Hey, it’s better than being useless to them, right?”
”I guess you’re right, O.” Cesaer understood.
“Let’s just pack our things, sell our apartments if they haven’t been foreclosed already, and we’ll head out to LP.” Orange said. “Those homies back at our hood right now would probably think of us dead anyway, so it’s good we’re moving out.”
”What about the Bank of Equestria building, O?” Cesaer asked.
“Nah, that requires time and planning, homie. We’ll come back and handle that place another time.” Orange said.
“You mates are right! You did grow wise in prison!” I said.
“That we did, dawg! That we did!” Orange nodded.
“I wouldn’t say ‘wise’ in every way though.” Jelly said.
“Nah, you like bad boys, girl! You just need to see it!” Orange said.
“Whatever you say, Orange.” Jelly said. So the taxi driver dropped Orange and Cesaer off at their hood and then we were off again. Jelly and I were alone in the cab. No don’t get any ideas, she’s my sister. I know how fandoms think. “I don’t like Orange Swirl, he acts pretty sexist towards me.”
”I know how you feel.” I said.
“Does he hit on you?” Jelly asked.
“No, but he keeps teasing about me being in a relationship with Elusive.” I said.
“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Jelly said.
“How do you feel about Cesaer though?” I asked.
“I have mixed feelings for him. He’s not annoying like Orange, but he’s a criminal, so I’m a little bit nervous with him around, but I could say he’s an acquaintance.” Jelly said.
“I’m a criminal though.” I reminded her.
“But you’re my brother, and you’re an ex-criminal.” Jelly said.
“How do you know? Maybe I would’ve lied to you.” I teased.
“By spending 15 years in prison? Some lie you’re trying on me.” Jelly said.
“Guess you got me there, sis!” I said. “Hey, cab-driver? Can you stop by the bank please?”
”Oy! This cab driver’s got a name!” the driver complained.
”OY!” I yelled.
“What do you need at the bank?” Jelly asked.
“Well I’m going to need some money… somehow.” I said. “How are our parents’ accounts?”
”You wouldn’t believe it. All of their money was transferred to my account.” Jelly said.
“Yours?” I asked.
“Relax! I put half of it in your account! It’s not like I’m using half that money! I just got myself an average house on Applewood Hills!” Jelly said.
“An average house on Applewood Hills is worth just as much as a castle in Trottingham.” I said.
“I don’t need much room, but I do want a nice view while I’m working on my novels.” Jelly said.
“Is it ok if I stay with you until I get my own house?” I asked.
“Of course not! Just don’t overstay your welcome.” Jelly said.
”Just because you said that, I will.” I teased.
“Here we are, passenger.” The cab carriage puller said with an attitude as we approached the Bank of Equestria building in Downtown Mareami.
“Passenger?” I asked.
“You called me cab driver, it’s only fair.” The pony said.
“If you say so.” I shrugged.
“I hope I’m getting paid well for this.” The cab driver complained.
“See you back at the hotel, Jer!” Jelly said as the driver rides off.
“Wait! You didn’t say what hotel you’re staying at!” I called out, but she was already too far away, and I gave the carriage puller too much fuss for him to come back here. Anyways, I walked inside the Bank of Equestria building, but before I walked inside, I saw a suspicious looking van parked right outside the bank. I had second thoughts of going in, but as long as the line isn’t big, I’ll be in and out before the probability of anything happening.
“Yeah… real quick.” I said sarcastically as I went inside the bank and walked over to the long line. Too lazy to go anywhere else, but just like that, I was right to be suspicious about the suspicious van, because something pretty expecting, but pretty exciting was just about to happen.
“ALRIGHT, NOPONY MOVE! EVERYPONY LAY DOWN ON THE GROUND NOW!” one of the robbers yelled.
“Now now, folks, we’re not here to hurt you. We just came here for the money and we’ll be on our way.” One of the other robbers said.
“Shut up! Go upstairs and take over the rest of the buildin’! We’re gonna make ourselves rich!” the first robber ordered them. The other robbers ran upstairs to take over the rest of the building. They shot meat at all the security guards that tried to attack, and they fainted.
“Sharks bite, fool!” one of the robbers said.
“Don’t tell them our group name, you idiot!” the other robber yelled at him.
“Well no one else is here, they’re all fainted. But wait, there’s a security camera.” The first robber pointed out.
“Oh dang! We gotta get to the security room and delete that footage!” the second robber said.
“But where is the security room?” the first robber asked.
“Oh man, I dunno! This is just great!” the second robber complained.
“Devil, Pear? Get yourselves down here, we need your help with the safe.” The robber leader ordered on their ear pieces.
“But we have a bit of a problem up here, man.” Devil said.
“On the double, Devil!” the leader said.
“Sure thing, boss.” Devil said.
Pear chuckled and said, “Double-Devil, that’s funny!”
“Yeah, hardy har har.” Devil said sarcastically and walked downstairs to help out their boys. I must say, I’m not very impressed over this. I’ve done a couple of small-time bank heists before, but I never thought of robbing the Bank of Equestria building here in Downtown Mareami; the tallest building in the city! But the reason I’m not impressed is because these robbers are barely organized. They’re not going to last, I know that for a fact. We know who they are; the Sharks mob. I heard about them. They’re the toughest mob in the whole city. Rumors suggest that the elementary school principle, Herb Leafhorn Sr. runs the gang, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was.
Anyways, me and the rest of the customers and bank tellers were still held hostage by the Sharks. There were a couple of security disturbances, but nothing major happened yet… YET… although one of the bank tellers pressed the silent alarm button while the robbers weren’t looking, so it won’t be long until the MDPD show up, and for once, I’m glad they’re coming, because I’m not responsible for this heist; although, being here right now might reflect poorly on my criminal record. After a while, the criminals started collecting some money from the safe.
“I’m collectin’ the money now!” the leader yelled out.
“Roger that, boss!” one of the robbers that’s holding the ponies up front hostage yelled back.
Just then, one of the hostages were lying on the ground next to me whispered, “Psst, hey. I’m an FDA member. I’m about to take these rookies downtown. What’s your name?”
“Jerry Jam.” I whispered. “But I don’t think this is such a good idea, mate.”
“You’re right, Jer. It is, it is a bad idea, but you know what? I was also told that it was a bad idea to eat so many pies during the pie eating challenge. I had to get my stomach pumped, BUT I still won the game.” The other hostage whispered. “The world is full of bad ideas, my friend. You have to take risks to get what you really want.”
“Now listen, ponies.” One of the robbers started. “We’re your friends. Me and my brothers here-“
“Why you tell them we’re brothers idiot? That’s gonna be hard of them to find us, isn’t it?!” one of the other robbers yelled at the last robber talking to the hostages.
“I’m just to be honest with them. We put them through a lot today.” The first robber said.
“Forget you, and forget your cause! That nonsense is over! Polish Cheese ain’t the only thing that’s yellow, bits are too!” the other robber yelled.
“Now you said bloody ‘Polish’. That’s gonna narrow a search, isn’t it?” the first robber asked.
“Shut up! Grow a brain in that empty head of yours, then tell me what to do!” the other robber yelled.
“I’LL LET YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO, WHEN THE DAY THAT MOM STOPS GOING TO HER BOOK CLUB!” the first robber yelled.
“MORONS!” the hostage that talked to me yelled as he shot a mind-controlling dart at one of the more quieter robbers near the door, and that robber fell to the ground.
“TOLD YOU NOT TO MESS WITH US!” one of the robbers yelled, throwing a piece of meat on the hero’s face.
“AAAAH! It burns!” the hero yelled as he fell to the floor.
“NO! Devil! Speak to me Devil!” the robber yelled, running towards his friend. Devil was laying on the ground, trying to regain his senses. Devil could barely keep his eyes opened, but he did whimper. “Guys, he’s tryin’ to say somethin’!”
“T…this…. This is….” Devil whispered.
“This is what; and what is this?” the robber asked.
“T-this…. This is wrong.” Devil whispered.
“I know this is wrong. You can’t leave us!” the robber yelled.
“P-Pear…. Th-this…. Robbery….. is….. wr….wr….” Devil whispered. Pear looked at where Devil has been shot, and he saw the dart with the FDA logo on it.
“No! He’s became….. reasonable. Not Devil!” Pear cried. “We gotta help him!”
“It’s too late, Pear. He’s gone. He’s not who he used to be.” Pear’s brother said.
“Gość (Dude).... Dlaczego to ma się stać (Why did this have to happen)?“ Pear asked.
Pear’s brother paused in sorrow, and finally whispered, “The FDA.”
I listened to every word they said, and I whispered to myself, “The FDA.”
“Wait…. what’s that noise?” Pear asked as he heard sirens going on outside.
“Police sirens! Darn it, they know about this robbery!” Pear’s brother yelled.
“Don’t worry. I have a plan.” The robber leader said as he walked outside the vault with the manager at meat-point.
From outside the bank, the MDPD surrounds the building with carriages, pegasi, and magic riot shields. “ROBBERS! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED! COME OUT WITH YOUR HOOVES UP!” one of the cops yelled through the megaphone.
“Boss, they surrounded us!” Pear’s brother said to the leader.
“I know, but we’ll make them unsurround us. It’s time we gave the feds a little message.” The boss said mischievously.
After a few moments, the robber leader walks outside with the manager and meat-point and yells, “Officers! We mean no harm! All we want is the money, and we go!”
“Robber, please let go of the civilian, and come along quietly!” the cop with the megaphone yelled.
“Oh I’m afraid not!” the robber yelled holding a detonator. “You see, I have planted honey explosives on all the hostages! One false move and they all get their precious coats all sticky!”
“Hold your fire.” The cop said to his backups.
“I’m sure if we can find a way to be a little more….. reasonable, like the pony that took over my friend’s body, I’ll be sure to release all these hostages, and we can all go home.” The robber said. The cops all looked at eachother, wondering what their next move should be. “Take your time to think it over! We have all day.”
“Actually…. I have my daughter’s violin reception in one hour.” Pear’s brother said.
Suddenly, one of the officer’s phones started ringing. He took out his phone and answered it. “This is Officer M4 Gun.” He said. The pony on the other line talked over with the officer declaring what the next source of action will be. “Mhm. Mhm. Really? Are you sure? What signal? If you say so. Alright, got it.” M4 ended the call.
“Who was that, sir?” one of the other officers asked.
“I don’t know, but I was told by somepony to wait for the signal.” M4 said.
“What kind of signal?” the other officer asked.
“He said I’ll know it when I hear it.” M4 said. So all the officers stood down, and awaited to see what’ll happen next.
“This was an FDA member.” I said to myself.
“S-still am… kinda.” The FDA agent mumbled and he coughed.
“Are you ok?” I asked.
“I’ll be fine.” He whispered to me. “Meat… so… so terrible! Such a terrible fate! Makes us feel sad… makes us feel disgusted.”
”What was that thing you shot the robber with?” I asked.
“A mine-control dart. He’s temporarily kind for a short time.” The agent said.
“I thought the FDA doesn’t force ponies to have harmony? That’s what the DIF does.” I asked.
“The DIF tries to force harmonies in a more permanent way.” The agent said. “The FDA allows persuasion. The dart’s effects will vary. He’ll be back to his old self in no time. Or will he? Maybe being kind will persuade him to change his ways. We didn’t force him to change, it was a choice. We’re just giving him a taste of kindness. That’s all.”
“What does it take to be a member of the FDA?” I asked. “I’ve done bad in my past, and I want to persuade other ponies to do good instead of bad.”
”In my pocket is a business card.” The agent whispered as he takes it out of his pocket and slides it to me. “If you want to be a member of the FDA, just follow everything in this card, and perhaps you’ll be one.”
”Can anypony become an FDA member?” I asked.
“Maybe… maybe not. All information relating to how to become an FDA member is classified. All I can say is… follow the card.” The agent whispered. “If you REALLY want to join the Friendship Detection Agency, and spread harmony across Equestria, then you’ll know exactly what to do!”
“STOP TALKING!” one of the robbers demanded. I did what he said. They planted some honey explosives on us that would make our fur really sticky, unless somepony did something about it. Just then, I just remembered. I took out General Lee’s shiv and I started cutting the explosive wires attached to me while the robbers weren’t looking. Devil’s brother was still busy arguing with Pear.
“Thank you, General Lee!” I whispered to myself as I started cutting the wires off the other hostages.
“My hero!” a mare whispered as she kissed me. I blushed.
“My hero!” a stallion whispered as he kissed me. I wiped my face.
“My hero!” a fat mare whispered as she was about to kiss me but I blocked her kiss, and I just gave her a pat on the head.
“My wife-stealer!” a stallion whispered as he punched me on the stomach. Just then, all the hostages were free, but as we thought we were in the clear the robbers spotted me.
“HEY!” Devil’s brother yelled. “What do you think you’re doing? I’m going to press this detonator if you don’t sit back down!” Just then, Devil’s brother was knocked out by some gray pegasus wearing an orange jacket and some goggles; kinda looked similar to Lee’s, except gray.
“Need any help, brother?” the pony asked.
”Not really, mate.” I said as I knocked out a third robber.
“NOT THE FACE!” the third robber cried right before I knocked him out.
“Clay Cement of the Friendship Mafia, at your service!” he said.
”Jerry Jam, formally a prison, and now a free pony!” I said.
“Escape from prison?” Clay asked.
“Attempted 15 years ago, but failed.” I said. “Now I’m fairly released.”
”Cool!” Clay said.
“Boss? We have a HUGE problem here!” Pear said on his ear piece.
“What’s wrong, Pear?” the boss asked.
“The hostages are free, and they’re attac-“ just then, the fat mare hostage suddenly sits on Pear, breaking his ear piece while she was at it, as well as his spine. “OW!”
”Mmm! Comfee!” the fat mare said.
“Mind if I take some bits with me?” I asked. “I’m kinda in a hurry.”
”Here.” Clay said as he gives 500 bits. “That should cover it. A cut for your heroic actions today, brother! I’ll take it out of my account don’t worry! Just tell other ponies about the Friendship Mob!”
”With pleasure!” I nodded as I ran out of the bank.
”It’s a runner. Should I taze him?” a cop asked.
“No, I know this pony.” Officer M4 Gun said. “Jerry Jam! Finally released from prison!”
”Hello, Officer Gun! Sorry I can’t talk now. I have something important to do.” I said.
“Can we at least have a report on what happened in there?” M4 asked.
“The Friendship Mob have everything under control in there.” I said.
“The Friendship Mob, huh?” Officer Gun asked.
”Yeah. They obviously know what they’re doing in there.” I said. “Now, one question. How’s your relative, Flare Gun?”
”He just left Mareami a couple of weeks ago. He wants to live the good friendship life in Ponyville.” Officer Gun said. “The Leafhorns still have a grudge on him, wanting to make sure his life stays ruined.”
”I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen. I’m taking your advice!” I said. “I’m joining the FDA!”
”Shhhh!” M4 shushed me. “Not too loud. Don’t want ponies to know what you’re up to. Go on, Jerry Jam! Fulfill your destiny!”
“Yes! Yes I will!” I said as I ran off. Right after I ran off, the officers were aiming their guns at another pony exiting the bank.
”Hold your fire!” Officer Gun yelled, but that was the last thing I heard before I reached an out of range distance.
I didn’t know where to run so I called my sister and asked her where the hotel is, since there are quite a few hotels in Mareami, and she says the Embacy Suites, and then I asked which Embacy Suites, but it was pretty much a joke since there’s only one Embacy Suites in the city. She’s was in room 634. I eventually met her there and told her everything.
“Really now? The Sharks mob robbed the Bank of Equestria building?” Jelly asked. “Somepony’s gotta have big courage in order to rob a place like that!”
“I know, but they were very disorganized.” I said. “Some rival mob known as the Friendship Mafia came in and saved us.”
“Saved you? A mob?” Jelly asked.
“I know, I was pretty surprised too.” I said.
“Well this is an even better reason not to stay here.” Jelly said. “I’m sure LP will be much safer than this.”
“Wouldn’t Las Pegasus be even worse?” I asked. “There’s more gang violence there than Manehatten and Mareami combined!”
“But it’s where Elusive and his club is. You have a timeshare in that club now. You partially own it, and you should head over there and see for yourself.” Jelly said. “No need to be some rock star buying a mansion that you never visited!”
“Are you referencing Joe Walsh and the Eagles?” I asked.
“I did? Oh yeah, I never even noticed.” Jelly thought.
“Anyways, did you hear from Orange and Cesaer?” I asked.
“You’d know before I would.” Jelly said.
“Well then, I guess we’re done here.” I said. “When does our flight to Las Pegasus leave?”
“In a couple of hours, we better get moving.” Jelly said. “You know, I’ve always liked Mareami.”
“I have too, but at least LP isn’t that different. There are palm trees over there, and beaches. The only difference is that the water is colder and more of a darker blue.” I said.
“Yeah, and there are mountains in the background.” Jelly added.
And so, we were finished here. Orange and Cesaer eventually came back with the stuff they needed. They had some garbage talk from their ex-hoods which almost led to violence, but luckily it didn’t happen. I woulda thought so though. Anyways, it’s time to say adios to Mareami and the southeast coast for now, and time to say hola to LP and the west coast, and that will also be the place where I’m going to be working with Elusive, and also finding out how to join the FDA.