Chapter 1 – Solace
A quiet calm hung in the crystal-clear and chilly night like an itch that couldn't be scratched. Near the bank of Whitetail Creek, two young mares curled together under the bare limbs of an old walnut tree. Bella's long, pale legs wrapped around her lover, holding her tightly as the hours plodded on. They could let the world flow past them without notice, safe in their little hollow. The only sound came from Silver Spoon, huddled in her embrace.
Silver's crying was soft and rasping now, but even battered and exhausted as she must have been, sobs kept shaking through her.
Bella held her marefriend close. It was all she could do: provide a comforting, patient shoulder to cry on. The gnarled bark of their tree prodded into her back no matter how she adjusted herself and crickets had been chirping for hours already. In the distance, two owls echoed hoots back and forth.
The light of the freshly risen moon didn't help. Silver's black eye still sprawled over her gray face, the purple splotch spreading wide. Silver nuzzled her face into Bella's chest, hiding it, but it still brooded there.
Tears darkened Bella's coat. She carefully pulled a few of Silver's mussed hairs out of her own glasses. “Spoony?”
Silver propped herself up on Bella's slender legs. “Mm?” Those big purple eyes looked up into hers. Silver looked like whole mountains had crashed down on her, as if the slightest bad news might shatter her for good.
“Nothing.” Bella watched the water burble along and shivered. A slight breeze blew crisp and heavy with moisture from the placid stream. The tree above was nearly bare already, even though the others in town were only beginning to change.
Moonlight began twinkling on the ripples, glinting into their secret hollow. Dad would kill me if he found out I stayed out here with her all night, Bella thought. She glanced down at her lover. But that's nothing compared to what Spoony would be in for.
Silver pressed her face into Bella's chest and squeezed tight, but at least she'd stopped sobbing.
Does she realize we have to go soon? That would explain why she's so clingy now. Bella squeezed back, holding Silver close. As long as Bella's mom hadn't spilled the secret, her dad would be no problem at all. But Silver's dad...
Bella missed a breath. Silver Platter cast a shadow over everything Silver Spoon did. If he found out about the two of them... Bella shivered again, and not from the chill in the air.
She hated to send Silver back to him. “Spoony?”
Silver hugged her tighter.
“Silver, we should go. We have to go to school tomorrow, and it's getting late.”
Those broken, needing eyes stared up at her again.
“Our parents are going to be worrying about us.”
Silver's frown wavered – a hopeful smile pushed up underneath it. “I don't want to go back. Can I stay at your place instead?”
Bella glanced away.
“Please?” Silver's hoof traced the long curve of Bella's back, and her voice dipped into a sultry whisper. “I'll make it worth your while.”
Bella stared down at her lover. The seductive act couldn't quite hide the need and fear in those eyes. She held Silver's head close against her chest. “I couldn't risk Arpeggio finding us in bed together.”
Silver groaned.
“And what about your dad? What would you tell him?”
Silver trembled a little. She clung tight. “Bella...”
“Ssh...” Bella rocked back and forth gently, to comfort and reassure Silver... and maybe because it offered some relief from the tree bark on her back.
“You're going to be fine. You're a strong pony. You can take it.” She'll handle it, and she'll get over it. She always does.
“I'm... I'm a strong pony,” Silver recited.
“You need to tell someone. Tell them what he does to you.”
Silver gasped and burrowed into Bella's chest fur. “I could never! You know that. I couldn't handle ponies looking at me that way.” She sank lower, melting down. “And...”
Bella rolled her eyes. She could never understand this part, the part that left her seething inside.
“I love him. He's my father. I can't do that to him!”
Bella curled in around Silver, nuzzling into her frazzled mane. My poor Spoony... poor, crazy Spoony. “I love you,” she whispered. I love you, and I wouldn't have you any other way.
“I love you too.” Silver spun her head around, and their lips met.
Bella kept their kiss slow and sensual, despite Silver's pressing urgency. She let her lips brush over Silver's, savoring every sensation. It would be a long time before they could kiss again.
When they finally separated, Bella could see the acceptance in Silver's eyes. It wasn't a healthy acceptance. It looked like defeat, like a condemned pony climbing up to the gallows.
“Goodnight, Bella.”
Bella wanted to wrap her hooves back around Silver and rock her to sleep, safe under their favorite tree... but she didn't dare. “Goodnight, Spoony.”
Silver rose and took a couple steps away before looking back.
Standing up, Bella gave her a smile – a weak smile that trembled at the edges.
Silver turned and walked away toward her mansion. Her head hung low and her tail drooped.
Bella sighed, the cold air stinging her throat. She headed the opposite direction, absently straightening her glasses and flicking her blue mane out of her face as she walked. Silver Platter is a monster, and he deserves... She shook her head. He deserves everything Spoony won't let me do to him. “Spoony...” she whispered, even though she was well beyond hearing now. There has to be something I can do. But there wasn't. Bella kept putting one hoof in front of the other, plodding her way back home. I never should have made that promise.
⁂
The last notes of the school's bell had barely faded, and already Bella hurried outside, sticking close to Silver the whole way. If their luck held, they could get out of the schoolyard before—
“Well lookie here!” Diamond Tiara's squeaking voice brought them to a halt. “It's Miss Klutzy-Slut again! Or, wait – are you going to tell me you're just wearing too much eyeliner?” The corner of her mouth curled up into an intolerably smug sneer. “The new look doesn't suit you.”
Some of the other young ponies were already stopping to watch, their shadows stretching over the pair in the late afternoon sun.
Silver smirked, ignoring them. “Maybe you'd like one to match?”
Rolling her eyes dramatically, Diamond tisked. “No sense of class here. My, how the great have fallen. Maybe they should send you back to the little fillies' schoolhouse, where you can be with ponies your own maturity level.”
Enough! “Hey,” Bella shouted. “Silver's a lot classier than you!”
Diamond turned slightly, and Bella gulped, feeling the hate now focused on her.
“Oh, and you would know class, wouldn't you?” Diamond stalked toward Bella. “The only earth pony in a family of unicorns. Maybe that's why you're such a raging slut? Does your daddy not give you enough attention?” She laughed – a harsh, squeaking laugh that nopony else joined in with.
Bella winced and took a step back, but then stopped. She struck a pose and ran a hoof over her body. “You know what I think, Diamond? I think you're jealous. I bet you want my sweet little flank, and it just eats you up that your ex is getting it instead of you.” She batted her eyelashes at Diamond in an outrageously coquettish display.
“Come on, Silver,” Diamond cooed, never taking her eyes off Bella. “Lesponies like us should stick together, not mess around with slutty bi ponies who take it from anypony. It's only a matter of time until she cheats on you.”
“Bella! Over here!” Silver waved from the edge of the schoolyard. Somehow, she'd managed to break away while Diamond's focus slipped. “Come on!”
Darting around Diamond Tiara, Bella rushed to her marefriend.
“Ha! Run all you want!” Diamond laughed again, watching them leave. “You'll crawl back for more.”
Bella followed Silver for a couple blocks, slowing from their canter to a quick trot, and finally coming to a stop hidden behind Ponyville's bakery. The two of them tucked into the familiar nook in the wall and panted from their run. The warm wall felt wonderful against Bella's back.
As the two of them panted against the wall, Silver leaned over and wrapped her hooves around Bella. “Don't worry! It's okay to be bi, and I know you're as faithful as—”
“Silver...”
“I'd probably be bi myself if not for...”
Bella stared at her closely, then squeezed her tight.
“I can never look at a colt that way again.” Silver shuddered. “It just makes me sick, and I get all cold and sweaty and—”
“Ssh.” Bella stroked Silver's mane. “I know. And that's okay, too. And it doesn't matter. Diamond's still just desperate to get you back – she can't handle losing.”
Giving a little sigh, Silver glanced down and away.
“And I know I'm not a slut.” Letting Silver lean away, Bella gave a wink. “Except for you.”
Silver giggled and leaned in for a quick kiss. It lasted only a moment, but left both of them gasping for breath again.
Bella loved to stare into Silver's lovely eyes, but the big black and purple splotch across one of them kept drawing her back.
Cringing, Silver shrank down.
Does she know I'm staring? Bella winced. But I have good reason to. “Spoony?”
Silver turned her head away, hiding the bruise, but she clung to Bella even tighter.
“Spoony, you have to tell somepony. It's going way too far.”
Silver shrank down a little more.
“You shouldn't even have that black eye, and now you're getting teased about it.” Bella followed her marefriend down into a crouch. “You should tell everyone he beats you,” she whispered. “Tell them what he does to you at night!”
Silver curled on the cold ground, little more than a trembling ball of misery now. “I can't!”
“He's a monster, Spoony!”
“He only does it because he's sad that Mom died.”
Bella tried to pull Silver's head up and look her in the eyes. “That doesn't matter.”
“He's still my father! If ponies found out, it would ruin him.” She curled a little tighter. “It's okay. I know you can't understand. You have good parents.”
Oh, my parents are good? Better than Silver Platter, maybe. “So run away. We'll run away together – anywhere!”
She shook her head. It made the hairs of her mane tickle Bella's nose. Silver was muttering something, too faint to call a whisper. “He always finds me.”
It tied Bella's heart in knots. There must be something I can do to help her. I have to! Bella's frown trembled and her eyes burned. I can't think of anything... but I have to! There was no way to help Silver without forcing her lover into something she didn't want. Bella sighed. I promised Silver I wouldn't tell anypony, and I won't.
She settled for doing the only thing she could, the same thing she always did. She wrapped her slim body and long legs around Silver and hugged her tight. At least I can try to make her feel better about it.
They cuddled in silence as the world went on without them.
I wish there was some way I could fix this. Bella buried her muzzle in Silver's mane. It seems like all I ever do is comfort her... just like the first time...
~ ~ ~
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had been inseparable back in those days. The two of them were laying into Bella, back in the old school playground while Cheerilee wasn't watching.
“... And it's no wonder she doesn't have a date for the graduation dance!”
Diamond's laughter cut through the young Bella. So much for keeping that a secret.
That cruel pink hoof pointed her out to all the fillies and colts. “Look at her, so skinny and scrawny. It's no wonder her real mom didn't want her.”
Bella crouched behind the seesaw. She only hoped the bullies would leave before the tears came and fogged up her glasses.
Silver Spoon giggled. “I bet she wishes DJ Pon-3 would be her date!”
“Good one!” Diamond elbowed her friend. “I bet she wouldn't idolize some stupid musician if she had a real mom!”
The sticky summer humidity stuck in Bella's throat. A trickle of moisture escaped her eye. She was losing her battle against the tears. She had to hold them back – and contain her frustrated anger at their gall. At least she could keep one of those bottled in.
“What's the matter?” Diamond's grin widened. “Aren't you going to tell me Lemon Hearts is your real mom? ... No?”
“She's—”
“Good. Because she isn't. An adopted mom can never love you like a real mom, and you know it.”
Almost out of Bella's hearing, Silver Spoon said, “Let's give it a rest. This little brat isn't even worth our time.”
“Don't be a pansy!” Diamond stomped her stubby hoof down and squeaked, “We're done when I say we're done!” She stalked toward Bella, leaning over the seesaw. “But who cares about moms, right? I bet you're a daddy's girl. Does your daddy come to tuck you in at night? Maybe he reads you a bedtime story... and then he mounts up on top of you and—”
“That's enough!”
Both Bella and Diamond jumped back from Silver Spoon's shout.
“You leave her alone right now! You have no right to say that!” Silver stared her friend down, and the muggy afternoon seemed ten times hotter now.
For a brief moment, Diamond blinked at Silver Spoon. “Ugh! How dare you?” That moment ended: Diamond seethed forward to Silver, weaving like a cobra. “You've always been holding me back – a dead, wimpy weight around my neck! You think I forgot about that time you gave your lunch away, or that time you told Miss Cheerilee about my secret blackmail stash?” She stomped. “Yeah, I know that was you! You're always holding me back when you get your goodie four-shoes panties in a bunch. I thought maybe you could be a worthy marefriend. I thought you were one of the cool ponies. But you're just one of the losers, aren't you?”
Silver stood defiantly, even though Diamond glared right into her face.
Diamond leaned in close and whispered. It was too quiet for anypony watching to hear, but Bella was closer. “You're not even a satisfying lover. You should just stick to pleasing your pervert dad.” She grinned, thin and wide as Silver's face blanched. “You like it, don't you... when he shoves it into...”
Silver glanced at Bella, her face distorted by a terrible cringe. She must have known Bella could hear that. She whirled back to face Diamond Tiara. Tears streaked her face, but she gave a terrifyingly resolute stare, glowering into Diamond's face. “Diamond! I am never—”
Diamond Tiara turned and flicked her tail into Silver's face. “Spare me your lame apologies. I don't want your sob story. We're done.” She strutted away, each step punishing the ground under her cruel little hooves. “I'm going to find somepony worthy of being mine.”
The school bell rang, and all the other foals began to file inside, but Silver still stood there, on trembling little legs, glaring at nothing. The streaks of damp fur under her eyes darkened and widened. She mouthed silent words as the playground emptied, still glaring furiously at where Diamond Tiara had stood.
Bella stared at her with eyes wide. She didn't understand yet what had happened, but she knew it must have been important.
Silver Spoon screamed. She stomped both front hooves down and screamed again, tearing the air with her rage and pain.
Bella edged back. She'd never seen anything like that before.
Silver screamed on, thrashing her head and leaning into where Diamond had stood. She pounded the ground in front of her over and over again, chewing a deep hole into the playground sand. Finally, she collapsed down into the depression, half lying in it, and her yelling was interrupted by the occasional sob.
It brought a strange emotion to Bella. Moments ago, she had been on the verge of tears because of this bully. Now... she was crying for this bully.
“Um... Silver Spoon?”
Silver quieted. She looked at Bella with reddened eyes.
“I don't think you're a loser.” Bella touched Silver's shoulder with her hoof.
She jerked away. “And what do you know?”
“I know you deserve better than her.”
Silver stared, and she started crying again, but this time with a slight smile on her face. She seized Bella in an unexpected embrace and squeezed her painfully tight. The tears just kept coming.
Finally, Silver Spoon seemed to have calmed down. Her eyes were still strangely wide, staring into the nonexistent distance, but she was breathing normally, and she wasn't trembling anymore.
“Feeling better?” Bella asked.
Silver looked up at her, blinking, as if she had never seen Bella before. She paused for a long quiet moment, reached out, and softly touched Bella's chest with her hoof, as if to check if Bella was real or not. “I ... guess we both don't have dates for the dance now.”
“Want to go with me?”
It took a long time for it to sink into Silver, but in the end she blushed. “Okay.”