Dear Starlight Glimmer,
You are a noodle-brained puss spigot! You never let the good guys roam free, no matter how indoctrinated they tell you they are! That's why you make them do something crazy that only a successful brainwashing can produce, like eat a bug or kiss each other or something! You're a terrible and gullible villain, and I hope you get lost in those caves and rot!
Sincerely, Discord.