Once upon a time, I was joking around with Pav Feira (#BlamePav), and told a joke to the effect that my ultimate shame as a writer will be when I stop trying to write serious stories, and just write shipfics about those stupid sexy batponies. The discussion progressed, and soon we'd outlined a fic where Rainbow Dash turns herself into a bat pony, only to discover that bat ponies have a terrible secret weakness. They're so sexy nopony can keep their hooves off.
I may write it yet, but the first draft turned out a little... odd.
“Hey Twilight, check this out!” Rainbow Dash called, pulling back her hoof and gathering her strength. “Boom!”
With a thunderous crash, the double doors to Twilight’s castle library flew open, and through them strutted Rainbow Dash. She moved like she was on a parade ground, head held proudly and legs making a high step. She was clad in armor—heavy plate that varied from light to dark purple, and branded in the front with the slitted All-Seeing Eye of Night. Her hooves were capped with brushed steel boots, and she carried a helmet by her side, clipped to her saddle straps. She looked every part the proud soldier, complete with a cocky grin.
But her grin revealed more than her pride. It showed that her canines were sharply exaggerated into two pronounced fangs, far from the only part of her body so transformed. Her eyes had become slitted like a cat’s, she’d grown taller and more angular of frame, and her once proud pegasus wings were gone, replaced with a leathery pair of purple bat wings, stretched out to either side of her.
Twilight gaped. She stared. From her place by her reading desk, her eyes tracked Rainbow Dash in mute shock, as he jaw hung open below. Rainbow chuckled at the sight, flexing her wingtips and the little claws there. “Pretty cool, huh?”
“You... what?” Twilight stammered. After moment she found her breath, letting out a louder and far more coherent, “What!?”
“I joined the Night Guard!” she replied, speaking quickly and energetically. “It gets even better. Watch this!”
Rainbow Dash clicked her tongue loudly, and more than half the lamps in the library abruptly went out. It was late—just past nine—and with no sunlight to replace the absent flames, the room was instantly plunged into gloom. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut at the sudden change of illumination, but Rainbow found no obstacle, easily navigating her way across the dark room. “Cool, right? I have power over darkness! It’s like being a unicorn only not nerdy!”
“You what!?” Twilight repeated. She called power into to her horn, and quickly relit the lamp nearest her. She blinked twice, waiting for her eyes to adjust so she could see. “You... you joined the Night Guard? Why!?”
“Oh, it was fantastic,” Rainbow explained, speaking faster and faster as the eagerness in her voice grew. “See, I was in Canterlot for the big Wonderbolts show? They invited me there, and I was so sure it was to tell me I was finally onto the team. The real team that is, not the stupid Reserve. But then it turned out that they’d only invited me because Princess Celestia asked them to as a favor, and when I tried to talk about the team, all Spitfire could say was ‘maybe next year!’”
Rainbow Dash spread her forelegs wide, lifting up off the ground with two mighty wingbeats. “Like, next year?” Her eyes narrowed, and she let out a sharp snort. “I’ll be old by then!”
“Yes yes Rainbow. That’s very sad,” Twilight said quickly and curtly. “And this leads to you being a bat pony how?”
“That’s that brilliant part!” Rainbow grinned wide, showing off her fangs in the process. “So there I am at the show, not really enjoying it. And there’s the opening dedication to Celestia. And I turn to look around, and the royal box is just the next box over, and there’s Luna! And she doesn’t really seem to be enjoying it either. And I thought, well yeah, the dedication is to Celestia. What is she, Princess Junior? That’s not fair. And then, like a bolt of lightning, it hits me!” Her voice rose to a shout, and then abruptly, she zipped down to Twilight’s side, looking at her friend eye to eye.
“So I slide over.” She learned her head in close to Twilight, and lowered her voice. “And go, ‘Hey, Princess. How would you like your own Wonderbolts? Only better.’”
Twilight’s jaw fell open again, and Rainbow fell back in the air, clapping her hooves together like an overexcited school filly. “The Shadowbolts! Only they’re real and not evil and I get to be Captain!” she squeaked.
“Rainbow, you...” Twilight took a quick breath, holding her hoof to her heart. “You can’t start your own elite flying team!”
“But Princess Luna totally can,” Rainbow said, undeterred. “We even have our first recruits.
Two other ponies from the Wonderbolts Reserve who were sick of always getting passed up.
Black Jack and Who Curse.”
“But joining the Wonderbolts was your dream!”
Rainbow settled down on top of Twilight’s desk. She held a hoof to her chest, resting over the Eye of Night in a mock salute. Her gaze was resolute, her back straight, and her eyes ahead. “Yes, Twilight. It was. But I have a new dream now.”
“To...” Twilight hesitated. “Build a flying team in Luna’s name?”
“To kick Spitfire’s butt so hard she hits the moon, and then my awesome new Princess and I have to get her down. And then she’ll be all ‘if only we’d let you on when we had the chance!’ and I’ll be all ‘too late!’ and then rub her nose in the moon dust before we help her down.” Rainbow Dash cleared her throat, and then relaxed her hoof, pretending to brush the dust off her armor. “Or whatever.”
“Okay...” Twilight took a long, deep breath, taking a moment to regain her composure. “Putting aside everything that is wrong with that plan, you can’t just change your species on a whim!”
“I can if it’s a better species,” Rainbow leaned down to nudge Twilight’s shoulder. “I mean, pegasus pride is fine and all that, but check this out. Being a bat pony is exactly the same as being a pegasus except...”
Rainbow spread her wings wide, and then pointed to them with the tip of an armored hoof. “Wings don’t need to be preened every other day, and I don’t have to oil them if I want to go swimming.” Next, she pointed to her face. “Awesome night vision. I can see the whole town like it was day.” She reached up to her head, stroking back her mane and twitching her fluffy ears. “Amazing hearing. On the train back from Canterlot, I could hear conversations three cars ahead of me. I can make squeaking sounds and tell what a room looks like from the echoes. And and, wait for it!”
Rainbow turned towards one of the library windows, opened her jaw, and let out a high pitched squeak. The window rattled in its frame, and a moment later, shattered into a thousand pieces. “Neat, huh?”
Once again, Twilight stared in silence—but not at the window. Her eyes were on Rainbow Dash. “Uh...” she managed, a small blush rising to her cheeks. “Yeah. I mean... it looks good. And bat ponies are really cool. But... it’s just so sudden.” Twilight shook her head. “When did you even have time to do this? In my... uh. My research. I thought the Ritual of Umbral Form took a full night and a full day to complete.”
“No, it takes about an hour,” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Don’t feel bad though. All that stuff you were getting ready for your book or whatever helped give me the idea in the first place.”
“Only an hour?” Twilight frowned. She turned to her desk and pulled open one of the drawers, rustling through the paper inside. “No, no that’s not right at all. That means I have to change everything after...” She let out a sharp breath. “Okay, look, I’ll deal with that later. I can see the advantages you’re talking about, Rainbow, and I like bat ponies as much as the next hot-blooded mare. But this is a huge life change on no notice. Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Well, Twi,” Rainbow Dash gave a small roll of her eyes. “I’m pretty much stuck with it at this point, unless there’s a magical undo button on that ritual.”
“No,” Twilight said quietly. “It’s very permanent.” She swallowed. “You know, back when they thought bat ponies were vamponies, they called it the ‘embrace’? It got so popular that some bat ponies actually started using—”
“Hey, bat pony history. That’s great. I’ll need to know about that to properly represent my new race and stuff. But how about you tell me later?” Rainbow Dash reached down to make sure her helmet and armor were secure, and then indicated the window with her muzzle. “I’m still getting used to these bat wings, and Luna told me the first night of practice is important. I just wanted to drop in to give you the good news.”
Twilight paused, glancing between Rainbow and the window. “Okay,” she finally said, albeit it with some hesitation. “But I’ll see you tomorrow? With the other girls? We should really talk this over.”
“You’ll see me tomorrow night,” Rainbow said, her brashness returning as she lifted off for the window. “Oh! But don’t spoil the surprise for everypony else. I know you diurnal types are up early, but I really want to tell them myself.”
“Rainbow...” Twilight sighed, lifting a hoof to her face. “Okay. If that’s what what you want.”
“Thanks, Twi. You’re the best!” Rainbow spread her wings, and lept out the window, flying high above Ponyville. Unlike her old pegasus wings, her bat wings produced almost no sound when they moved. She flew silently, peacefully, under the watchful stars.
Her slitted eyes rapidly dilated, growing wide until she could see like it was day. There, under the silvery light of the moon, was revealed the softer shades of the world, invisible under the harsh sun. Rainbow could see the world in its most private moments, and she could see it when it was at peace.
Peaceful thought it was, the world she flew over was not empty. It was filled with life. As Rainbow slowly banked and turned over Ponyville, her ears picked up the chirping of insects, the growls of prowling animals, and the rustle of the wind in the trees. She could even hear ponies. Hear them talk in their sleep. Hear them mumble as her princess visited them in dreams. Rainbow soon realized that there were even a few ponies still awake. She could sense them moving around, talking, occupying themselves through the long and sleepless nights.
Rainbow paused in her flight motions, and began to slide. She frowned, and swiveled her ears, focusing more intently. Her frown deepened. Then she scrunched up her muzzle and pulled back her jaw.
“Oh, ew!” she shouted, pulling into a hard dive. She bolted directly towards one of the houses of Ponyville, screeching to a stop outside the second floor window and throwing the shutters open. “Keep it down, perverts!”
Lights came on in the wake of Rainbow’s shout, but she was already flying up and away, back towards the edge of town and its open flying ground. “Okay,” she said to herself, “Small snag on the first night. But that’s fine. Night flying is still way cooler when you can see. So overall? Yeah, totally a plus.”
She took a breath, picking up speed. “Yeah,” she said. “This is gonna be great.”