"Oooh c'mon. One last one for the way homee?", I asked.
"Don't you think you had enough, Missy?", this impin... imper... dumb jerk of a barkeeper gave back. He was big and light grey. A bit lighter then Tavi. Shit.. what was that? The sudden sting I felt while thinking on her. On what had happened.
"One l-last one, pleaaase!", I clopped my hoof on the counter. Did this buffoon manage to make me beg? Me? DJ Pon3 - the most awesome DJ in the whole wide world?
"You are drunk like company Nightguards on Nightmare Night. You better go home."
"What? I telll you what I am! I am Deejayy Pon4 ..3 and I could rock this whoole bar of yoursh anytime!", I reprimanded him.
'Hey! Tavi liked to use this word!', shot through my - admittedly a bit foggy - mind. Another sting hit me. Not sure why. But somehow the thought on her hurt me.
"First, Missy. Its no bar, but an inn. Second, you'll waking my paying customers, because they are all in bed meanwhile. And third - I want to close for the night. So, either you pay for a room and go to sleep or you should leave now."
Thoughts were about to break out of my mind. Tavi. The fight in the afternoon. Her hurt voice on the phone as she broke up with me!
I looked up, saw the reflection of an empty guest room in the windows. Blurry tables and chairs, which seemed to float a bit. And a blurry scheme of a white coated mare with a blue mane. Glad my eyes where hidden behind my pink shades as they would be more red than usual.
"Look," I started to explain. "My friend dumped me right today - and all I want is to forget about it!"
"You tell this story the whole evening, since you came in. Missy - I am sorry for that. Really. But its the best if you head home and sleep it off. I bet everything looks better tomorrow.", he rolled his eyes.
"Fine." This celestia-damned bird-brained moron!
As the cold nights air let me shiver, I felt more clear. And the memories came back. It was so silly after all! She broke with me, cause of one slipped thing. Yeah, I had promised to go to her performance. And Celestia knows I did want to go there. Who could know it was exact the same day as my appointment in the studio? I just had forgotten about the other thing. Why had she been so upset?
My head hung low as I trotted along the hard mud road back to town.
Right - because it wasn't the first time, she said. But.. But anyway. I felt anger. About her, about me, about the whole bucked up situation. My thoughts circled around the scene. Her phone call, right before the curtain. And my dumbstruck me, talking bullshit on the phone. Half-hearted excuses and such...
I messed up. I messed up in such a manner, like never before in my life. And yeah - I had botched a few things before. Burnt things, destroyed things, annoyed neighbours and even Tavi. Shit.
The clusterfuck of a mess-up this time was - in hindsight - just a question of time.
I never was a hero. I never was relatable. Maybe I wasn't even a good friend...
Think it had started not long after I met the grey Earthpony. Octavia Melody. It was on the train that brought me here. She was from Fillydelphia, me from Baltimare. Nothing special at this time. We sat in the same compartment.
She had a big instrument case and I had my suitcase with laptop and cables. So we gabbed about music. She with her classic music and her classy attitude. I am with wups and maybe too little understanding for her. But after all we were both far from home - and headed for the same town.
Passing the train station, more memories welled.
We left short after arriving. And honestly I didn't think much about the classic-music-pony. But later I met her again.
Some annoying business had let me to the Town Hall. Bureaucracy and such mishap. Had to find a place to stay and such. She found me as I sat over a bunch of papers I tried to fill out. And for some reason she helped me out. Turned out, she was way better with this forms.
We talked again - she was in search of an apartment, like me. But soon it became clear, that there weren't much houses for rent. Most of them far to expensive for my small budged - as for hers. Finally we came to the conclusion, to rent one small cottage together.
And so we became room-mates. Never thought of anything more in the beginning.
I crossed the place and headed towards Sugarcube Corner. Unlike the rest of the time the striking built shop, resembling stacked muffins, cakes and other sweets, seemed to be still open. Light fell out of the windows. But only a few customers were to see.
I could spot a whirlwind of pink coat and mane - Pinkie Pie. And two figures sitting at one of the corner tables. One blue stallion I didn't recognize and... My heart skipped a beat! Octavia! They sat and talked - milkshakes between them.
Octavia looked like she had cried a while ago.
It was me, who had make her cry. The recognition felt like a punch in the guts.
For a moment I thought about, to walk inside. Talk with her. Apologize or something. Do anything to make up for my mess.
But..
I felt still drunk. And yeah - I had experience with being drunk. I came home tipsy more often than I could count. But - it wasn't my fault. What could I do, if the club owners and barkeepers insisted to pay a part of what they owed me in shots and cocktails?
Anyway. I knew it would be a bad idea to walk towards her. Now. Like this. While she was obviously in good hooves or something.
A last look at the... pair and I let go of the doorknob, turned around and walked away. Not without looking back for a few times.
’twas mean. It felt unfair. Why had she found some handsome stallion, while I had to walk through the cold night alone?
I knew she had been hurt by breaking up, too. I had heard it. After all I am a musician. I hear good. Like, really good. And I can sense pretty much with my ears. So It was just clear, that Octavia didn't feel good. Like myself. Yes. It hurts to get dumped.
I mean - no one is perfect. She with her damned perfection every time. Yes she could cook better, she kept the place more clean then me. But on the other hoof - she never was satisfied. Not only with her music. Gosh! She practiced and practiced night and day. And - what could I say. I am no expert for classic music. I am not even a fan. But I knew my ears. And when they tell me something sounds awesome, then I wouldn't doubt it.
But not so her.
"I got to get better. This is far from professional! How could I even dare to attend at a orchestra with this."
'Gosh Tavi - you are bucking good with your cello. Its not only pretty - its gigantic. But you never believe in what you do.', I told it to her. A few times. When we not were squabbling. Or play pranks on one another. Or didn't talk at all.
Maybe her lame classic sound had rubbed off on me...
Anyway - she had someone to talk to. Pinkie and this stallion.
And I? Dumped by her, thrown out by this dumb keeper. I had no one to talk.
I crossed the Mane Street, heading north. Here were laying the smaller houses. No manors, but quite the cozy cottages which characterized the town. You could even see the Golden Oak Library from our backyard window. So who could complain? The gardens however were big. This was one of the most impressive things, living on the land: Space.
I grew up in an apartment. Big, luxurious. But on the forty-eight floor of a grey condominium. The only green was found in parks. And even the biggest park in Baltimare was quite nothing compared to the surroundings of Ponyville. I mean the green meadows between our house and the library were twice as big as the public park in my quarter of Baltimare.
Funny - even if we two never could come to an agreement over our music, we had about the same taste for flowers. The most other ponies saw us just when we played anywhere. Me in my clubs - Octavia on more formal parties. Tartarus - she played even in Canterlot and didn't still believe in herself. But what no one knew, was that we both enjoyed to plant flowers and bushes. We had even a small patch for carrots and tomatoes. Though - planting them was fine. But cooking. No way. This was more Tavis thing. Anyway - we learned to come along pretty good. And somehow I had accustomed to her.
I passed the house of Roseluck - our local gardener and flower-dealer. Gosh, it doesn't matter how hard we tried - we never would get a garden like hers. Blazing in colors, Roses, Tulips patches with blooming Lillies and Daffodils. But hey - we never gave up trying.
Right behind the adorable green, I turned to the small hard dirt path leading to my ... our house.
Dark - like any other building around. Nothing special.
Due to my work, I often came home in the small hours.
"Tavi! I am hoooome!" - I murmured.
At this time of night, I didn't try to wake her. Didn't work out every time. I mean - after a hard night of partying and drinking, it was not that easy to stay quiet. Gosh - maybe another thing, she didn't like. But hey - after all this would be no problem in my future.
This thought was even harder as before. No sting, no punch in the guts - more a hammer right to the mind, without dwelling on things like the head.
In future, I could come and go as I wished. There was no one who could get bothered. No Tavi around.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Why were I this idiotic? Why was I such a dumb-ass?
I passed her bedroom. Saw the door half open. Somehow I hoped for a bad dream or trip or such. Hoped to saw her lying and sleeping. Shit I even would have loved it, when she were awake, complaining about me and my habits.
But - seemed that this wouldn't happen again.
"Consider this friendship over," she had said. Every single word felt like an execution now. First I just was hit by the words. But now the consequences slowly became clear to me.
* * *
I felt strange. Relieved. A big weight had been lifted from my back. Eased and somewhat proud of myself. I simple had done it.
Vinyl had forgot about me again. One time to much. I still felt shivers by the thought of what I had accomplished.
I stand upon the stage. Holding my cello and playing. I elicit tunes from my instrument I never had imagined. Powerful chords and my voice clear as crystal.
Not long ago I never would have believed I could do this. I play cello for years now. Practiced and did everything to get better. But I never dared to compare myself to the professionals. What was I? Just a girl with a crush on the classics. Loving instruments - foremost the cello. Encouraged by my parents. Teachers for music themselves. Understanding on the one hoof. What was quite a relief, as they never opposed my love for playing. But on the other hoof, they were tough... censorious maybe. Judging and comparing me to the grand masters - not to my benefit.
So I lived the whole time with the feeling of being not good enough.
It took a while to get myself up. To truly try it. I started with baby-steps. Small audience. Formal gatherings and such. But now - my first big hall.
I never had dared without another encouragement.
While my parents just wanted me to practice practice practice Vinyl was the first pony which truly believed in me. Who told me, HOW good I was and that aiming for perfection would just stall myself.
Like a lightning it stroke me. Luckily my small blunder didn't got recognized.
She was not here.
With the last tunes of my play, the light feeling wore off too. I sang the last words, glancing over the audience. Inside I hoped to see one special face. White, with red eyes and a blue mane. But... she never would hear my play again. At least not direct. I ... had withdrawn the friendship with her. Had cut her off.
Clopping applause broke out. But I felt hollow. A plastered false smile stood on my face. Three times coming back on stage, even one short encore before the curtain finally fell.
Inside I felt angry. And sad. I had done the right thing, there I was certain. But why did it hurt so much? The audience was gone, the hall empty. And before my inner eye I saw Vinyl. Cheering, applauding. But who was I to lie to myself. She wasn't there. I had broken up with her.
But still - my decision stood. Since I got known of her she was everything but perfect. Lazy, tardy, oblivious and careless. Thought on no one but herself and just didn't have any respect for possessions of others. How many bows she had ruined? How often she had destroyed the living room? Burnt the place nearly by cutting short the fuse, because her WUB-Box overheated the power supply line...
Or her music-play at three in the morning. Or her making a din when she came home drunken like a sailor.
And her pranks. Gosh - how I hated this. Her little tricks she played all the time, the shenanigans she brought over me. Taping my Cello-box on the ceiling. Caging me up in the bathroom.
Though - she had have her good sides too. But, by Tartarus - to much was to much!
If I had ignored her behaviour this time, I never had stood up against her actions.
But anyway. It had hurt myself too. After all we knew each other since we came here. We lived together - as room-mates and short after as friends for over three years now. There was this strange, hollow feeling, lingering around.
Slowly I walked out of the hall, left the empty tiers behind me and felt the cold evening air on my body.
"Hello there.", a deep voice sounded. I startled in turn and nearly dropped my cello case. A stallion, blue and blonde maned stood right at the side of the entrance. I meant to have seen him in the audience before.
"Oh. My apologies, I didn't want to frighten you. I just wanted to tell how wonderful your play was this evening." the Earthpony continued.
I said something stupid I couldn't remember. A blush burned on my face. I mean - it was one thing to hear ponies applauding to your performance - but to hear someone extra waiting for you to compliment you for your work is something completely different.
"Blue Tune, my name."
"Octavia Melody," I answered automatically - even if my name stood right behind me on one of the advertise tables promoting my concert - and right above the entrance gate in glowing letters. Fluttered by the attention the foreign pony spent me, but still thinking about the things that happened earlier, I just couldn't smile.
"You seem uneasy. Is something wrong?", he asked, tilting his head to the side.
Silent I shook my head. I don't felt in a mood to talk.
"It is your decision. But maybe talking would help you...", he insisted polite. Gosh - somehow I liked his manners. He was so... courteous.
"Maybe...", I started.
"May I offer to walk a while with you?.", he just said.
And we did. We strolled through the deepening shadows. Normally I was somehow shy talking to others - especially stallions. But right then I just didn't think about my concerns. Maybe it was the dire need of an understanding ear, or just a distraction to don't think about what happened. And understanding - he was. I started to tell him about Vinyl and about how we broke up today. And it welled out like water.
Sometime later I remember us sitting in Sugarcube Corner, he still listening, giving comfort and especially doing nothing flirty or so. This had impressed me. And maybe it were my own turmoil of feelings, which let me ask to stay at his place over night. After some questions about me being serious, he accepted.
And this night it happened. No - no sex. But we talked the whole night through and as the first light of the new day dawned - I had found my first very special somepony.