“Hehe… long story, Octavia. So can I come in? It’s kinda cold out here… on my back,” Neon said, ashamed. And he had good reason to be — Neon was standing there without any clothes, and only a pillow to cover his privates. He gave me a nervous smile followed by a pout, begging to come in.
“Neon, just… just tell me why and… maybe… maybe I can let you in.”
He sighed and stomped his foot. “You love to see me suffer, don’t you?” I smiled. “Yeah, yeah… I know. Okay, where do I begin?” He scratched his chin for a moment, still holding the small pillow with the other hand, “Okay, so, yesterday night I got drunk and… I kinda slept with another girl. And Sassa got really angry at me this morning… She kicked the girl — Oh Faust, what was she called again?! — anyway, she kicked her out of her apartment and gave me a kick right in the ass. I didn’t even have enough time to get dressed!” Neon shrugged and giggled. “Sassa is so hot when she is angry at me.”
I looked at him for a moment and raised an eyebrow.
“What? She is!” he added defensively.
“I wasn’t disagreeing with you — I just want to know why you felt the need to come here. Don’t you have other friends around here?” I asked.
“Lemme see… nah.”
“Ugh…” I sighed and thought for a moment. Suddenly Vinyl turned up in the hall, back from her shopping trip, much sooner than I’d expected. Thank Faust… I mean… Tartarus!
“Hey, Vi!” Neon exclaimed happily. “Gimme a little help here, I need to…”
“What the… why is he standing naked outside our apartment? Really, Neon, no-one wants to see your butt!” Vinyl shook her head. “What the fuck’re you doin’?”
“I…”
“Please — just the quick version, for god’s sake!”
“Okay…” He took a deep breath. “I was kicked out of Sassa’s apartament ‘cause I… kinda slept with another girl and Sassa got really mad at me and she kicked me out. I didn’t have time to get dressed! And now here we are!” Neon smiled looking between me and Vinyl.
“And what d’you want?”
“Sassa will come running back to me tomorrow, as always and--”
“Because she’s idiot, of course,” I murmured.
Neon gave me a look of disbelief. “Continuing… I just wanted to stay here tonight. And maybe you can give something to wear? I ain’t the shyest person in the world, but, umm…” He looked down at his body. “... We don’t want all the ladies getting jealous of Sassa, do we?! C’mon Vi, ya’ know I’m your bro since… always! C’mon, you can do that!”
“Do I look like a man? Why would I have clothes for you?”
“Lemme think about that… more or less, yep,” Neon said with a smile, and saw that he had successfully annoyed Vinyl.
“Fuck you, Lights,” Vinyl murmured giving him a punch in the shoulder. He rubbed his shoulder with one of his hands and muttered a curse. Vinyl looked at me. “So, Tavi, I suppose we ought to help this poor reprobate. Your parents can stay in our bed and we can sleep on the couch.”
“Wait… you’re being hospitable?! Wait…” I approached her and took her shades, analyzing her red eyes. “Are you crazy? Have you got a cold? Are you a changeling?” I think I watched too much of that Changeling: The Movie… but I have to say, it was a great film.
“Tavi!” Vinyl snatched her shades back from my hands and smiled for a moment. “I just wanna be good to my in-laws. After all, I don’t think your father likes me.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know… He looked at me kinda funny.”
“How?”
“The way you do when I do something wrong or… rude or whatever you call it when I’m cursing.” Vinyl crossed her arms. I put my hand on my waist and looked at her ironically. “Yes! That’s it! That’s the look!” She pointed.
“I didn’t… ugh, Vinyl… if you want Neon to stay tonight, where he will sleep?”
“In the bathtub, of course!” Vinyl smiled with a mocking tone putting an arm around Neon’s neck.
Neon looked shocked and insulted. “I’m not staying in the bathtub!”
“Okay, let’s go, Octopussy, we have things to do…” Vinyl said and began whistling, walking past me into our apartment.
“Okay, okay, you win! Fuck…” Neon murmured. “I just hope it isn't wet!”
“I hope it is, Neon! You have to clean your mouth out with soap.” Vinyl turned and patted Neon’s head.
“Wait a sec, what did you say about… ooh!” Neon’s eyes were shining right now “Your in-laws are here?!” He approached Vinyl and tilted his head, giving a playful smirk. “Oh, yeah, Vi, they’re here! God bro, why didn’t you tell me?!”
“Because they just turned up today, and anyway I still wouldn’t tell you, Neon, because you know you’re a royal pain in my ass.” Vinyl added a little laugh at the end.
“I know this is all hilarious to you two, but if Neon really wants to stay here, he should come in and run to the bathroom.” I interrupted “I have to go out and buy some clothes with my parents anyway, so I suppose I can pick something for you too.”
“Why do you hate me?”
“You know why she hates you, Neon — same reason everyone hates you: you’re an asshole.” Vinyl laughed and Neon gave her a punch on the shoulder, that was answered with another punch back.
I rolled my eyes. “Just get inside Neon, please, before I change my mind.”
He mimicked a soldier, saluting and barking “Sir, yes, sir!”
I opened the door for him and he ran to the bathroom so quickly that my parents didn’t notice him. We found them watching something on the TV with their eyes shining. They were clearly very impressed with this technology.
“What’s up with them? It’s like they’ve never seen a TV before!” Vinyl laughed putting her shopping bags on the table.
“Don’t be an idiot, Vinyl, of course they’ve seen a TV before!” I chuckled nervously.
“Okay, I didn’t say anything, Tavi.”
I opened my mouth, about to speak, but closed it again when we heard a big “ouch!” coming from upstairs. We looked at each other. “Neon!” I sighed “I’ll check on him. I just hope he hasn’t broken anything.” I climbed the stairs to the bathroom and knocked on the door.
“Who’s there?”
“The girl who knocks, Neon…” I laughed a little at my own joke. “It’s me, Octavia, of course. What are you doing? Are you okay?”
“I may have broken a bottle of perfume and spilt a lot on the floor…” He opened the door a crack and peered out. “Is that a problem?”
“Neon!” I exclaimed “You haven’t even been here ten minutes and you’ve already broken Vinyl’s new perfume?!”
“How can you--”
“I can smell it from out here, you dumbass!” I facepalmed. “Okay, I’ll call Vinyl. She’ll help you clean up. And you will buy a new one for her. With your money.” Neon moaned and I smiled. “Everything had better be clean when I get back. I’m going out with my parents. Tomorrow you can give me some money too — for the clothes.”
“Seems I don’t have any choice anyway.” Neon stopped for a moment. “Also… are you having a Game of Thrones convention in your house? Your parents look like a medieval king and queen.” He giggled.
“Neon!”
With that I went back downstairs and explained the situation to Vinyl, who sighed angrily, knowing that she would have lot of work to do. After a little guilt-tripping, I persuaded her to go up to the top floor. She was followed by Wub Wub, who was curious about what was happening.
I went into the little living room and clapped, calling the attention of my parents. “What do you want, my dear? We’re having a good time here! C’mon, look at what this cat can do! It’s amazing!” Dante pointed at the TV. “Look! He talks!”
“Dad, it’s just television. It’s not actually real!”
“What?! But…” He looked shattered, like a kid finding out about Santa Claus. “So I wasted almost an hour of my life on lies?!” I nodded. “Okay… I know who I’m adding to my list! This talking liar cat! Top of the list! Top! Of! The! List!”
I interrupted his ranting. “Guys, we’re going to have to go out to buy some things for you two.”
“Now?” my mother said excited and I nodded. She got up and hugged me. “Let’s go shopping!” she exclaimed.
“Wait… we need to come too?!”
“Of course, I’m not going to choose your clothes without you two there to see what you like.” I adjusted my bowtie as I looked in the mirror.
“Ugh…”
“Don’t be like that, darling. It’s shopping! How can you not be excited?!” my mom exclaimed, kissing him in the cheek.
“Shall we go then?” I opened the door.
“Yay!” My mom ran to the door, smiling.
“Dad…”
He sighed. “Meh…” I gave him a questioning look. He stood up. “Yay!” he waved his hands in the air in mock excitement.
We all walked out the door. It was going to be a long day. Shopping.