Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie had been dating for three months now. And, damn it all, they were going to spend the day together. They had barely been able to spend time together in the past two weeks. The Everfree Forest had apparently decided to go insane, spewing storm after storm that the weather team had had to beat back. Twilight had said it had something to do with an ages old primal force of destruction awakening due to an ancient prophecy, but Dash had tuned out after the phrase “the preponderance of positing that a pre-paleolithic pony pandemonium led to the complete abandonment of the blah, blah, blah….”
That’s what it sounded like to Rainbow Dash, anyway. In addition to Dash’s dilemmas Pinkie had been swamped with parties. Diamond Tiara had had a birthday, then Applebloom had been given a “sorry that I threw your rival a birthday party, but everypony deserves a party” party then Diamond Tiara got a “I’m sorry you were ticked off by the last party, but Applebloom says you’re really mean” party then an “I’m sorry I called you mean and made you cry and I had no idea I reminded you of your mother” party then to top it off an “I’m sorry your mom left you” party then a general party for all the orphans in town. Scootaloo had somehow gotten drunk on old apple juice and Dash had taken her home before she’d had an opportunity to steal some private time with the hostess. (Scootaloo wasn't an orphan, but she had come because Applebloom invited her).
Rainbow Dash needed an “I haven’t seen my marefriend in two weeks and it’s making me sad” party.
She sighed. They had planned the perfect day today. First they would prank all the ponies in town with a prank involving raining cupcakes. Then they would have a picnic by the river. After that Dash would take her flying on her back, like Pinkie had been begging her to do for ages. They’d end the evening making smores and cuddling on Pinkie’s bed.
It was going to be the best date ever. So, naturally, today the largest tornado in Ponyville history blew in from the Everfree Forest. Every pegasus, up to and including Fluttershy, was hard at work trying to push it back before it could reach town. Leaves and branches swirled around the forest, entire trees were uprooted. Bulk caught one of the trees before it could fly into town.
“Damn it, this storm ain’t natural! I’m going in!”
“Dash, wait!” Fluttershy called.
“I’ll investigate it and if it’s something major we’re getting the Elements!”
“Please be careful!” That was the last thing Dash heard Fluttershy say before she zoomed into the forest. She beat her wings hard against the powerful winds. She dodged the branches and the rocks. The winds pushed against her, but she pushed forward. The entire forest had been reduced to a swirling mass of leaves and rocks, branches and dirt kicked up by the storm. Dash kept pushing, increasing her speed till she was going at the speed of sound. The air crackled with power as the sound barrier shattered and a rainbow exploded behind her. Soon, she found herself in the very center of the forest. In the middle of the maelstrom stood a strange creature. She, if it was a she, appeared to belong to that ancient race called humans that Dash recalled from half-remembered foal stories. This human, though, seemed to be deformed. She was wrinkled and her face was covered in warts. She was also shorter than what Dash recalled humans as being. She cackled madly and waved her arms around. Lightning blazed from her fingertips and the wind swirled around her, lifting her robes and stringy hair.
“This is the new age! The witches have returned! We shall conquer all of Ponyland!”
“Yeah, not happening.” Dash then flew over and kicked the ancient evil in her face. She cried out and fell to the ground.
“Defeated! I am defeated! Oh, Reeka, oh, Draggle where are you?”
Dash felt slightly bad for the incompetent, easily defeated villain so she decided to put her out of her misery with another kick to the head. The witch dissolved into ash that the winds blew away.
Well, that was kind of pathetic.
The winds began to still before ceasing altogether. The light of the sun pierced the grey clouds and soon the sky was a bright blue. Sunlight sparkled between the leaves and danced on the forest floor. Dash flew up and out of the Everfree Forest and was met with her favorite sound. Applause. Every pegasus was cheering for her. Fluttershy flew up and gave her a big hug. Dash hugged her back.
“What happened? The tornado stopped all of a sudden.”
“Yeah, some witch was causing it. I don’t know.”
“Oh my. Do you think we should panic?”
“Nah, I handled it.”
That’s when a bunch of tentacles shot up from the Everfree Forest sending the pegasii scattering.
Celestia mother f------ g—d---n son of a ---- with cherry sprinkles on f----- top! Dash thought as she dodged the tentacles of whatever beast had just decided to awaken to ruin the day Dash had planned to spend with Pinkie.
…
Pinkie hummed to herself as she baked the cupcakes. She expertly cracked an egg over the bowl and began to stir it into the flour.
“Just take a cup of flour, add it to the mix…” Pinkie sang to herself. She was baking these cupcakes for an order that Mr. and Mrs. Cake had gotten. This order had come in all the way from Canterlot so it had to be perfect. After that she would make sandwiches for her date with Dashie. Oh, it was going to be perfect! They hadn’t seen each other in weeks due to Dash’s weather duties and all the parties Pinkie had thrown for two feuding earth pony fillies. They had planned a prank involving raining cupcakes and then they were going to have a picnic. Dash had even promised to take her flying! Pinkie jumped up and down at the thought. She had wanted to go flying with Dash for so long, to experience something of what her beloved experienced. Today, she had finally agreed to the idea!
Today was going to be perfect!
That’s when one of the ovens exploded.
Celestia mother f-----g-d—n rock f-----ing f----kers! The pink pony bounced around the room and filled a bucket with water that she threw onto the flames. Unfortunately the bucket slipped out of her hooves and knocked down the last bag of flour that ripped open and poured out upon the floor. Pinkie loudly cursed. The fire was out, but now they were out of flour. She’d have to go the store. Hopefully, the cupcakes wouldn’t catch fire while she was gone. She bounced out the door and towards market.
Luckily, absolutely nothing went wrong as she bought the required ten bags of flour. That would surely be enough to get Sugarcube Corner through one more week. Yep, absolutely nothing was going to go wrong. She bounced back towards the Corner. Black, thick smoke wafted from the windows of what was left of her place of business. Her jaw dropped. The fireponies had their hoses out and had already put out most of the blaze. Pinkie’s jaw worked, up and down. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were standing outside of the ruin. Cup Cake and Pound Cake were strapped to Mrs. Cake’s back.
“Oh my Celestia! What happened?!” Pinkie asked as she bounced over to the couple that was practically her family.
“They think it was an electrical short.” Mr. Cake said in a flat, emotionless voice.
“The cupcakes, the muffins, the cakes…they were all ruined.” Mrs. Cake said.
Mr. Cake wrapped a hoof around her, then another hoof around Pinkie.
“We’ll get through this.” He promised. Pinkie sighed.
It was going to be a perfect day. Pinkie sniffled. “W-where will we stay?”
“The fire didn’t make it upstairs. I don’t even want to think about how much it will cost to fix the kitchen.” Mrs. Cake said.
Pinkie nodded, numbly staring at the burned out husk.
“Hi, Pinkie what’s-oh.” Dash landed behind them and gawked at the smoldering remains of the store where she had spent so many sweets-and-love filled afternoons. Pinkie broke apart from her surrogate parents and threw herself into Dash’s hooves. Dash held her, slowly stroking her mane.
“I-I wanted to have the perfect day a-and it wasn’t cause there were all these orders and the oven exploded and Sugarcube Corner burned down and...and…” The rest broke off into incoherent sobbing. Dash continued holding her and stroking her mane.
“I only had to deal with a giant tornado, a witch and a giant tentacle monster.”
Pinkie blinked and looked up into Dash’s rosette eyes. “Wow. You win, your day was worse.”
“No, Your day sucked a lot more than mine did. We oughta go get some cup-er…we could still go pranking.” Dash tried to assure her while wiping away the pink pony’s tears.
“I don’t much feel like pranking.”
“Yeah, me neither. Do you want to go down to the lake?"
“That’d be nice.”
“Get on my back, I’ll fly you there.”
Pinkie managed a soft smile before hopping on the pegasus’ back and wrapping her hooves around her neck.
“Get ready!”
“Go, horsie!” Pinkie shouted, swatting Dash’s rear. Dash rolled her eyes, spread her wings and launched into the sky. As the wind blew around them, Pinkie rested her face in Dash’s soft mane. Dash smelled like rain and air and thunder. It was a scent she breathed in as if it was the elixir of life itself. With the wind blowing all around her and Dash’s storm-like scent filling her nostrils she began to forget all the struggles of that day. Dash flew slowly at first then began to gradually pick up speed.
“Hang tight!” Dash shouted as she suddenly pulled a corkscrew in midair. Pinkie shouted in exhilaration as the wind whipped around the pair and held tight to her marefriend. They dipped and dived through the air. Pinkie looked down at the hills and valleys spread out far below.
“Everything looks so small from down here.” Pinkie mused.
“Yeah. It really does.”
She took a sudden turn through a rain cloud. Pinkie giggled as the droplets of rain tickled her fur. Dash shook her mane, stray strands brushing her face and eliciting more giggles. Finally they landed at the lake. Pinkie dismounted Dash.
“Oh no! I didn’t bring a lunch!”
“Don’t worry. Some stray apple seeds blew over here so there’s a wild apple tree. AJ told me about it.”
“Ooh, let me see!” Pinkie bounced up and down. Dash flew into the forest and returned with several apples. They trotted over to the lake and sat down. Dash handed Pinkie an apple. She held it out to Dash who bit into it. They spent the next several minutes feeding each other the scrumptious fruit, sweet juices flowing down their chins. They licked each other’s fur clean afterwards, running their tongues around their mouths, lapping up the apple juice. Afterwards, they cuddled into each other. Pinkie lay her head on Dash’s shoulder while Dash wrapped her up in her feathery embrace.
“Dashie?”
“Hm?”
“I know the day didn’t turn out the way we wanted, but any day I spend with you is perfect.”
Dash pressed her lips to hers and Pinkie deepened the kiss, wrapping both her forearms around the speedster.