Iron sight looked at himself in one of walls of the Crystal Castle. There really wasn't a need for mirrors there, seeing as how everything gave you a perfect reflection. The two tarts working at housekeeping made sure of that. Mirrors had lost a lot of popularity after word got out there was one that sent you to another dimension. Sure, it'd been deemed safe and inactive, but Crystal Ponies were fidgety around anything that even remotely reeked of bad mojo.
Red eyes, surrounded by dark lids. The hoofprint on his cheek was barely visible any more. The slap had been half-hearted at best, so she was clearly into him. Now all he had to do was remember to breathe only through his nose and avoid bright lights and loud sounds. And working, but that was a given.
He knocked on the door. It was soon answered by a living nightmare crammed inside a frilly apron. The Head Housekeeper, Broom Sweep, gave him a thoroughly disgusted stare.
"And which pigsty did our brave Captain crawl out from this fine morning?"
"Don't you need to be buying more slaves to the pens you call housekeeping, wench?"
Their glares were such that a stray fly which happened between them disintegrated into dust. A wicked grin grew on both ponies' faces. There was a mutual nod of respect between sworn enemies. She let him pass.
Inside was the new apartment of the royal couple. Princess Cadance was still talking to the more manageable of his mortal enemies, the Majordomo, Feather Duster.
"I'm sure you'll get it out. It must have mixed up with some of the, ahem, lubricants we used," the Princess said.
"No, love. These are going straight to the incinerator. Can't have even the memory of such foulness and scandal...
"Oh, such scandal!" added the Head Housekeeper.
"...to remain on the royal linen."
To her credit, the Princess's blush was barely visible under her pink coat. Such a heartthrob that one. He did his best to bow without actually moving his head so as to avoid the vertigo sending him onto his face. "M'lady."
"Oh, good morning, Captain. Shiny will be right with you." She took a casual sip of her tea.
The Prince in question entered from stage right, also known as the bedroom. "Cady, have you seen my whistle? I'm sure I had it here somewhere..."
"On the hook next to the door, Dear. Right where you always leave it."
"Oh, right." Shining Armor levitated the crystal whistle's string around his neck and put a red cap onto his head to complete his chief instructor ensemble.
Cadance gave her a disapproving snort. "You really should eat breakfast before going to shout at those poor ponies."
"If a lone Mustang with a jar on her head can outrun our whole track team, they really need to up their game. That means more practice."
"Well, as long as you get all your shouty out of your system and can focus on the paperwork..." She left the unspoken threat hovering in the air.
"Yes, Honey. I will take care of it this afternoon."
"You had better! The Pegasus chariot will be bringing in your VIP around four, so be done by then."
"Yes, Dear. Any other Princely duties I should attend to?"
"Well, just the most important one," Cadance said, beckoning him over with a hoof.
He walked over to her and they shared a kiss, that turned to keep on going for quite a while. The two housekeeping horrors whispered to each other. The Major Trouble had produced a stopwatch from somewhere withing her apron.
Shining Armor leaned back from the kiss and casually trotted over to Iron Sight. "Walk with me."
Outside, both the stallions let their postures slouch.
"VIP? Do you need an armed escort?" Iron Sight said.
Shining Armor did look sufficiently embarrassed. "It's just my, uhh, therapist coming for a visit from Canterlot."
"The one with the very innuendo name?"
"The same."
"Eh, whatever works for you."
They rounded the bend, heading for the door to the palace grounds, now appropriated for a training ground for the athletes of the Crystal Games.
"Soo... what news from the Crystal Guard?"
"Nothing much really. Now that a certain Prince made sure I had nothing much to do with the new recruits, it's mostly dull."
"You were due a promotion sooner or later. Can't stay a Sergeant forever."
"I probably could have."
"Then what brings you here so early, if there isn't anything to do with work?"
The door to the outside was just in sight. They stopped beside it. The outside light really wasn't Iron Sight's thing before noon. "Mostly seeing if our plans for the evening are still on. I found a lovely mare in the city that makes the most wonderful of wines from crystal berries.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world. I even have an excuse ready for Cady."
"The one you always use? The one about checking the perimeter for any stray evil crystals?"
Shining Armor beamed. "That's the one."
"You do know she sees right through it?" Iron Sight said.
Shining Armor deflated a bit. "Yeah, probably. But it's kinda like an unspoken agreement. I don't tell her I'm going to get wasted with friends and she doesn't nag about it the next morning, as long as it isn't too often."
"Politics?"
"Politics."
Shining Armor stepped outside, taking a deep breath of the cool morning air. The chatter of ponies carried from somewhere in the distance. He looked over his shoulder back to Iron Sight, who was still stood inside the shadows. "I do need you to get a honor guard for Twily when she comes over the day after tomorrow. Can't have her just walk in now that she's a Princess too."
"Seems becoming an Alicorn is a thing with the mares around you. Just warn me before you pop a pair of wings."
Shining Armor gave him the tongue. "Just take care of it."
"I shall. I heard the wenches already got her room ready as well." Iron Sight scratched his unshaved chin. "She's one hottie, your sister. She probably has to fight colts off all day and night. Maybe I should give it a go too. Marrying into royalty seems to be the thing for us Captains."
Shining Armor froze in place. He walked up to Iron Sight and poked him in the chest, his hoof making a clang as it hit the armor. The fury in his eyes could have scared a hungry manticore. "Let me make this clear, no, absolutely very clear: You, nor anypony else, is good enough for my sister, got it? You lot especially stay away for her. I will bloody murder any colt that tries to go near her."
"Just a jest, Guv. I'll make sure the word gets around."
"Make sure you do." Shining Armor turned around to look outside. "Now I really need to get going. These lazy bums won't even make the qualifiers if they don't shape up." His posture straightened up again to show all his authority. The cap spoiled the image somewhat.
Iron Sight tried to follow his gaze with squinted eyes. "Must be real hard to to make sweaty, well toned athlete mares do whatever you tell them to all day long."
Shining Armor shrugged. "It's a dirty job, but somepony's got to do it."
"Well, catch you later. I'm off to do my part for Equestria."
"Remember to lock the door before you take your morning nap."
They parted ways, Iron sight once more alone with the myriad reflections of himself. He whistled an off-key tune as he walked for the Guard barracks. Luckily getting there didn't involve actually going outside.
He heard the hesitant clip-clop of army issue shod hooves approach from somewhere ahead. Caught off guard, he looked around to see if there was a place for him to hide, but it was too late. One of the only non-crystals in the Guard. A Pegasus with a yellow coat, shock-blue mane, and the goofy grin of a lovestruck pony.
The kid saluted him. "Captain."
Iron Sight wiped his forehead with something resembling a salute. If one were really trying to see one, that is. "Ahh, young Flesh Entry was it?"
"Flash Sentry, Sir."
"And you are probably here because of our little deal?"
"Y-yes, Sir!" The colt sweated despite the cool air of the palace.
"Well, you, m'boy, are in luck. It appears that Her Royal Highness, Princess Sparkle, is yet single."
The relief on Flash Sentry's face was palpable. "Thank you, Sir. Thank you!"
"Just be careful of her big brother." He paused for a moment to see if Flash Sentry was going to remember his part of the bargain. The colt's eyes betrayed that he was somewhere miles away, probably with the Princess of his dreams. "Ahem!"
"Oh, right, sorry, Sir!" He fished inside his chestplate and produced a ticket. "Here you go. One VIP ticket for our gig on Friday, with a backstage pass of course."
"Very well. This concludes our business. Now, if there was nothing else, I have something very important to take care of."
He walked past Flash Sentry. The kid fidgeted for a moment, but finally gathered the courage to open his mouth. "S-sir? Can I ask you a question?"
"What is it?"
"Sir... why in Equestria do you want to come to our gig? We barely get a hundred ponies there and to be honest, we aren't even that good."
"Can't an old Captain enjoy some youthful music and company now and again?"
Flash Sentry seemed wholly unconvinced. "Umm, I guess?"
"Now run along. Like I said, I'm busy."
"Yes, Sir! And once again, thank you, Sir!"
Iron Sight nodded and walked away. He hovered the cheap ticket in front of his face. "The Wondercolts, huh? I hope their songs are a bit more original." He wandered around the castle, seemingly aimlessly, finally pushing open one of the doors to a guest room. From somewhere under his armor, he pulled out an envelope and took out the letter inside, checking it one last time.
"Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,
You are invited to our performance of contemporary music this Friday. Please find attached your ticket.
-FS
P.S. Come meet me after the gig."
Iron Sight slipped the letter and the ticket inside the envelope, licked it shut, and put it onto the table next to the bed.
"Young love. Who am I to stop them."
THE END