The next morning at dawn the drawbridge lowered and armed troggles emerged from the citadel. They took up guard positions around it, and some of them began tending to the giant lizards, checking for injuries and inspecting their harnesses.
Before noon the fortress began to move. Scouts and guards walked ahead and on either side as the titanic beasts and their titanic burden rumbled slowly across the plains, leaving a flattened-and-scraped track behind.
The troggle fortress descended from the high plain. It generally avoided hills and gullies, but otherwise crushed everything in its path indiscriminately; trees, roads, fields and homesteads were ground under the feet and bellies of the lizards and the skid of the moving castle they pulled. Day and night it moved, the lizards never tiring.
The ponies trailed after it, keeping their distance. They couldn’t march day and night — not for long, anyhow. They had to stop and camp from time to time, then move more quickly to catch up with the citadel’s slow-but-relentless journey, relying on their pegasus scouts to keep track of its movements.
Meanwhile, Nightmare Moon and Chevalier laid their plans.
On the fifth day Reconnoiter swooped into the camp with news: “Zee trogs ‘ave stopped and emairged from zee ceetadel! Zey ‘ave sent out a raiding party!”
Nightmare Moon was ecstatic. “This is our chance! We shall attack while the fortress is stationary and lightly defended. If we can take it, the raiding party will have no refuge when they return, and we can destroy them piece meal.” She pointed with her hoof to other officers. “Avant Garde, get the torches ready! Escargot, rouse the Frivoli reserves! We may need our full force of numbers before this day is over.”
Dominus Tusk scratched the back of his head and asked, “Shouldn’t we try to intercept the raiders and keep them from plundering another village?”
Nightmare responded curtly, “That matters not. This castle must fall. Ready yourself for battle!”
The troggles had posted a few sentries, but they were no match for Nightmare Moon, who stealthily overwhelmed them. Before noon the pony army had moved into position. When they charged into battle, they had surprise on their side and quickly scattered the few guards that had remained outside the castle walls.
Unicorns put up shields overhead to guard against arrows. Nightmare Moon then landed near one of the lizard beasts. “Let us see what this does!” she said, and she began to cast a spell. A blast of magic shot from her horn and splashed against the side of the creature — harmlessly. She snarled and cast again… and again… but to no effect. She stamped a frustrated hoof. “Tis as I feared; even dragons are not so resistant to spells. Well, let us see how they like fire! Bring up the torches!”
Teams of pegasi flew to the forefront, each team carrying a sharpened pole with a large bundle of pitch-soaked rags tied around the front end. Unicorns lit the bundles on fire with quick spells, then the pegasi rammed their torches into the side of the beast.
The lizard swiveled its basketball-sized eye with mild curiosity; then, finding the entire matter uninteresting, it closed its eyes and went back to dozing.
The pegasi held their torches in position for a few minutes, hoping the heat would build up enough to have some effect, but it was for naught. “Zey do not even react to zee fire! Zere hides are eenvulnairable!” Deja Vu observed needlessly.
A husky cheer was heard from in front of the castle as troggles spilled out from the drawbridge to counter-attack. A chaotic battle erupted, with casualties on both sides.
Nightmare Moon and Dominus Tusk acquitted themselves well, but even with their might the ponies could no more than hold their ground. In the midst of the fray, Nightmare found Avant Garde. She ordered, “We can still prevail. Go to Escargot! Have him commit all the reserves and pitch into their flank now!” The pegasus saluted and zoomed away.
Minutes passed, but the flank attack never came. The ponies were slowly driven back, struggling to carry their spell-stunned comrades lest they fall into enemy hands. When scouts reported the troggle raiding party was returning and could soon join the battle, there was no other option but withdrawal — yet again. The pony army broke away from the citadel and returned to camp to lick their wounds.
That evening the officers gathered once more in the command tent, and other ponies gathered around the tent to learn what they could. Nightmare Moon was silent, brooding, while each officer gave his report of the day’s action from his own perspective — until Escargot began to give his report. She interrupted with a question: “Why did you not bring in the Frivoli reserves to strike at the enemy’s flank and break them?”
He stammered, “I… I could not. Zee Frivoli ponies, zey are steel not feet for battle; zey ‘ave not enough arms and training. Zey are airth ponies, but zey ‘ave not zee battle ‘elms.”
The light in the tent grew dim, and some ponies thought they heard thunder rumbling in the distance. Nightmare Moon was visibly shaking as she said, with carefully restrained voice, “Every pony leave the room except: Escargot, Chevalier, Reconnoiter, Avant Garde.” The ponies glanced at one another uncertainly, until Nightmare growled, “Now!” Then there was a rush to the exit, with only the four named remaining.
“Avant Garde… When I sent you with a message to Escargot, telling him to attack the enemy’s flank. That. Was. An. ORDER!” The tent shook with the fury of her voice. Those gathered around the outside of the tent — including Derpy and Dominus Tusk — flinched, as the canvas did nearly nothing to diminish her shouting.
But she was only getting warmed up. “Why are the Frivoli ponies even here if they can’t fight? When we were planning the assault, they were part of the plans. Were you lying to me even then? OR DID YOU JUST DECIDE AT THE LAST MINUTE THAT YOU WERE TOO COWARDLY TO COMMIT TO THE BATTLE?”
Chevalier interjected, “Mademoiselle, I must object! My offisairs are…”
“COWARDS! TRAITORS! BUNGLERS! These supposed officers of Le Grand Armee barely know how to scratch behind their own ears[1]. We should put the mud-pony farmers in charge!”
Outside the tent, pony ears drooped, tails were tucked between their legs, and eyes cast to the ground. Derpy whimpered as the shouting continued. Dominus Tusk, sitting cross-legged beside her, pulled her close and stroked her mane soothingly.
The ranting went on. “I’ve led armies into battle before, and I conquered everything before me. I did that! But you lot… Despite all your medals and military doctrine, you’re nothing but A BUNCH OF CHEESE-EATING SURRENDER DONKEYS!”
Chevalier begged, “‘Eero, please! All eez not lost! We can steel arm and train zee resairves and balance zee tairms of zee next engagement.”
“Arm them with what? Can you conjure up battle helms out of nothing?” It was a rhetorical question. Battle helms for earth ponies were specialized and costly items, usually custom-fitted to their wearers.
Ponies glanced at one another. Reconnoiter ventured, “euh… We might be able to acquire some swords for zem…”
Nightmare scoffed, “Swords? You’d give swords to those foals? Half of them would cut their own legs off!” Grim silence ruled for some moments. Then she sneered, “Go on… You colts can strut about and play soldier for a while, and I’ll solve this problem myself. I know where to get some weapons the mud-ponies can handle.” She snorted and stomped out of the tent.
Nightmare Moon had hardly gotten out through the tent flap when she glanced down and said, “Derpy! Come with me! I have a mission for you.”
Derpy sniffed and wiped at her eyes with her pastern, and looked upward. “Really?”
“Come along!” She led Derpy away from the crowd. When they had some privacy she stopped and sat down, and Derpy did likewise. Nightmare then removed her helmet and peytral, allowing her spectral mane and tail to take solid form of indigo blue once more. She looked to the much smaller pony and said, “It seems I cannot rely on my supposed allies here, but I know I can count on you — my friend — to carry out a simple task.”
Derpy saluted. “I can help! uh… Can I really?”
“I believe so. Now listen closely to my instructions! I want you to fly back to my own castle and retrieve some things for me. You’ve been there before. The night-gaunts will let you enter, and Nuala and the Vermin Kid know you. They’ll help you.”
Derpy nodded. Then uncertainty crossed her face. “um… Is it a long ways to fly?”
“Yes, Derpy. It is a long flight, but I can help with that. Now watch!” She looked upward, and dark blue sparkles fizzled up and down her horn as she cast a spell. A bright light appeared, high up in the dark sky. “There! You see that star?”
“Ooooh! It’s pretty.”
“It will magically guide you to my castle, and it will guide you back. As long as you follow it, you will fly fast and far — and safely, as long as you don’t stop. I must warn you against stopping in the land of Ling, where the stone circles and dark cedar brakes are. Fly onward to the Sea of Green, and there you may rest upon an island if you need to. Do you understand?”
Derpy’s face scrunched up in concentration, then she nodded. “Don’t stop at the dark place. Islands are OK. Got it!” Then she frowned a little and asked, “What am I supposed to bring back?”
“I was just getting to that. In the castle armory you will find a large supply of maces. I want you to bring back all the maces that you can. You can get the night-gaunts to come with you on the return trip, to help carry them.”
Derpy frowned, and her eyes went just a bit more skewed than usual. “Maces?”
“Yes, Derpy. Only bring the maces. With the maces and the night-gaunts, we’ll be able to tip the scales of battle here in our favor and end this absurd standoff.”
Derpy scratched behind her ear[2]. “Well, uh… If that’s what you really want, I’ll do my best.”
Nightmare smiled softly and nuzzled Derpy. “Thank you, my friend! I know I can count on you. Go with my blessing!”
Derpy saluted again, launched into the sky, and fluttered off in the direction of the bright star.
After stowing away their loot from the plundered village, the troggles spent a couple of days celebrating their latest victory. Camped close by — just out of archery range — the pony army could do little more than watch. In the dawn twilight of the third day, the troggles prepared the citadel to move again, and the ponies, seeing this, began preparing to break camp as well.
Dominus Tusk and Chocolate Mousse were entertaining themselves by butting heads (quite literally), when Nightmare Moon sensed something in the cool morning air, something approaching. She scanned the skies, then broke into a grin. “Chevalier!” she called out. “Come and look! We are about to get some reinforcements.”
The unicorn dropped what he was doing and came over to investigate, and some other curious ponies joined him. They followed Nightmare’s gaze to see black silhouettes flapping their way through the brightening sky.
Derpy led the way, and a dozen night-gaunts followed. Derpy had a strap across her back with a burlap sack hanging from either side, like a pair of crudely improvised saddlebags, and each night-gaunt clutched another sack in its claws. Derpy panted lightly, tired but excited, and announced, “I got ‘em! I got ‘em!”
“Well done, Derpy! Let us see what you brought!”
Derpy set down her sacks, took one between her front hooves and tugged the drawstrings with her teeth, then dumped it onto its side, spilling out the contents. The night-gaunts followed her example, tugging open their own sacks and upending them at the same time.
Nightmare Moon blinked at the veritable flood of tiny brown and gray objects spilling out and rapidly scattering across the ground, not sure for a few seconds what she was seeing. Then her puzzlement changed to a look of horror. “No… No, Derpy, even you can’t be that dumb!”
Derpy flinched, puzzled and hurt by Nightmare’s response. All around, other ponies whinnied, reared and pranced as innumerable rodents darted around their hooves. Nightmare smacked herself in her forehead. “What am I saying? Of course you are that dumb. Maces, Derpy, maces! You were supposed to bring back maces, not mice!”
“Ohhhh… I always get plurals mixed up!”
Nightmare shrilled, “You snail brain! Why did I ever think I could count on you to do anything? Get out of my sight! Out! Out of the dreaming and back to the waking world with you!” Indigo blue magic flared up from Nightmare’s horn, then around Derpy — outlining her huddled, whimpering form until she faded from view.
Still fuming, Nightmare Moon snorted and looked around at the chaos unfolding throughout the camp. More than a few stalwart soldiers were now bucking and screaming like little fillies as mice got into their uniforms. Others tried to stamp on the skittering vermin. She sighed and sat down. Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to be a princess, she reflected.
THUMP.
What was that? She looked around?
THUMP.
It seemed to be coming from the direction of the citadel. The lizards were acting agitated. One of them lashed its tail. THUMP. Another waved a foot in the air, then slapped at the ground. THUMP. One of the lizards opened its mouth and bawled, “Waaaaaaauhhhh!”
Dominus Tusk was first to understand. “They’re afraid of the mice!”
Indeed it was so, and the beasts only became more and more upset. The entire pony camp watched as the enormous lizards twitched and pulled at their harnesses and began straining to get away, each pulling in a different direction. Something had to give, and — unfortunately for the troggles — the castle foundation and walls proved weaker than the harnesses. “STAMPEDE!” some pony shouted as the castle broke apart. Then followed a general panic and ponies running for dear life while the citadel collapsed into a cloud of dust and debris and the lizards took off running in all directions. They trampled everything in their path, useless harnesses trailing behind as they fled from the terrible mice.
Some minutes passed until the dust began to clear enough to see, and Nightmare Moon and the pony officers began to round up their army and put them back into some sort of order. Moans and shouts came from the wrecked castle too. Nightmare called out, “Pony troops rally, rally! The trogs are crawling out of the rubble. HAVE AT THEM!”
The battle that followed was one-sided as ponies took out their accumulated frustrations on the shocked and bruised troggles that hadn’t already perished in the collapse. For long minutes the ruins were filled with sounds of victory and death — mostly death.
Dominus Tusk waved to Nightmare Moon. “Over here! They’ve found Thrognar. He’s alive!”
“Don’t kill him!” Nightmare ordered, and she opened her wings and flitted over. The scruffy old ram was bruised and bloodied, held firmly in a unicorn’s magic. With Tusk standing over him as well, he wasn’t going anywhere. Sullenly he glared at his captors, more of whom gathered around with each passing moment.
Nightmare glared back, then grinned an eager and not-at-all-friendly grin. “The rest of you can do what you like with this old goat. I just need for him to answer one question first.” Her horn flared, and her telekinetic aura easily brushed aside the other unicorn’s magic. She picked up Thrognar and lifted him to her eye level. He gasped with pain in her very firm magical grip. She leaned forward, her nostrils flaring as she sniffed him, then wrinkled her lip in disgust. “Where is the other one you captured like me?”
Some pony muttered to a comrade, “Other one?”
Thrognar growled back at her a little. He was nothing if not tough. “What is she to you? Your twin?”
“Perhaps. Thrognar… Answer my question!” He winced as her field tightened.
“She’s gone, long gone!” he choked out.
“Gone where?” she pressed.
“Where you’ll never get her,” he growled. “I sold her to my brother, Grogar. She’s in Tambelon now, and you don’t have a hope in Tartarus of fighting your way into there.”
She stared at him for a few moments as if looking into his soul to find the truth — and perhaps it was so, for if any pony would have mastered a lie-detecting spell, it would have been her. Then, without warning, she dropped him to the ground, snorted and turned away.
Ponies poured out from the surrounding countryside and villages for the victory celebration. Festivities continued well into the following day. Then, in the afternoon, the leaders of the resistance force gathered in the command tent for a final meeting.
“We must march upon Tambelon!” Nightmare Moon insisted.
This proposal was met with a noted lack of enthusiasm.
Chevalier tried to explain the situation in a polite way. “Lady ‘Eero, we all know you air consairned for your, euh, comrade — whoevair she may be. ‘Owevair, we gathaired our forces to repel zee troggle invasion. Now zat is accomplished. Our volunteers weesh to retairn home.”
Reconnoiter added, “We steel ‘ave zee giant leezaird beasts roaming Frivoli, trampling upon homes and fields. Surely zat must be our next priority.”
Aide de Camp added, “To attack Tambelon, we would ‘ave to march our entire force through Dankendreer! Eet would be an enormous undairtaking!”
Nightmare Moon struggled to restrain her temper and her impatience. “We… I need to recover that captive. Chevalier, did you not pledge to aid me in this?”
Chevalier fidgeted. “I deed so. ‘Owevair, we believed she was in the ceetadel. Marching eento Tambelon eez anothair matter. And you ‘ave not explained just who eez thees capteve, and why eez she so eemportant. I cannot ask zees of my army.”
She glared, looking around the gathering at the faces of all the other ponies. None of them met her gaze, and she knew that her argument was lost. Then she looked to the huge minotaur. “Dominus Tusk! I know I can count on you to accompany me on one more quest.”
He looked down toward his feet and shook his head. “I’m done,” he said.
“What? Why? I thought you were my friend!”
He scowled and looked up at her and said, “I thought so too, for a while. But I’ve seen how you treat your friends.” Then he turned and walked out of the meeting — and his body faded from view as he went back to the waking world, and Nightmare Moon was left to her own devices.