Hard Pressed to Impress

by Calm Wind

Chapter 4

MLP: FIM
Hard Pressed to Impress
By: Calm Wind
Chapter 4:

Fancy and Rarity went on their way. Rarity was focusing completely on walking in a straight line while Fancy more or less took control of their path, eager to see as much of Ponyville’s reach as possible. Rarity was so focused not hiding her slight buzz from the wine that she didn’t see exactly where he was leading them.

The sun was going down now and Fancy was enjoying the evening breeze. He kept glancing at Rarity since she had gone quiet, and a stumble or two had not gone unnoticed. He chuckled to himself. All she had to do was politely turn down the wine offer, but she was so nervous about looking the part that she braved it anyway. She was still trying to keep up image even with the wine making it difficult.

One thing Fancy had learned about Rarity on this visit was that no matter what the sequence or cost, Rarity would do whatever it takes to give the best impression to those around her. While some may see this as vanity, Fancy could tell it was for the sake of a positive image. She dressed and pampered herself up, but it ended there. No flaunting or narcissism. Among her friends she might act a little in that direction, but when it came to something important, it was replaced by an air of professionalism. Professionalism backed by a desire to be successful. He would never miss that in a personality, it was something that always stood out. He was sure this trip would be worth what he had in store.

“Now Rarity, there is a matter we must discuss. Specifically to the main reason I made this trip.” Fancy began. Rarity’s concentration snapped and she looked to him briefly. Fancy made ready to converse, but stopped as she began to look around quickly. He examined her face as she began to look worried. “Is something the matter?” He asked as she gasped.

“Oh no! nononononononono.” Rarity quickly turned to him. “I wasn’t paying attention! We should not have come this way!” She quickly explained with clear worry in her voice. Fancy glanced around and took in the environment. They were on a dirt path that ran beside some grassy fields on one side, and on the other some rocky terrain near the base of what led towards some mountains. The area looked slightly dug up with piles of dirt and stones strewn about.

“Whatever is the—” Fancy was stopped short as low growls and snarls sounded from behind the rocks and all over the ground around them, “Oh my, I know that sound.” Rarity was panicking, but Fancy stood his ground, not a single waver in his demeanor as pairs of gold eyes began emerging from behind rocks and from the ground itself. In seconds the two of them were surrounded by a dozen large diamond dogs.

“Well boys, lookie what we have here!” a small dog one spoke up while stepping out from behind a large one, “if it isn’t our stinkin gem pony. Looks like we found another this time too!” The diamond dogs remembered Rarity, but this time they were eyeing Fancy as well, his high worth and status radiated from him. “Looks fancy to me! I bet he’s another one worth snatching!”

Rarity was visibly shaking. Being slightly tipsy was bad enough. By not paying any attention to where they were going she had effectively put her and Fancy in danger. Forget impressing Fancy, how were they going to get out of this one? He felt gentle tap at her shoulder. She glanced at Fancy.

“Don’t worry my dear,” he glanced towards the sun, which was almost completely beyond the horizon, “I’ll handle this.”

“Tie ‘em up and—” The small diamond dog was cut off by Fancy sharply clearing his throat.

“Pardon me sir, you have truly surrounded us and left no avenue of escape. It would be pointless for us to resist.” He calmly addressed them. Rarity was convinced he had snapped and the diamond dogs looked like they weren’t sure how to take it. “However I can’t pass up this chance to stem my curiosity, might I ask a question of you?” The diamond dogs all looked between each other.

“Fine! But make it quick!” The small one spat at Fancy and crossed his arms. Fancy used his magic to remove his monocle and wipe it with a cloth from his suit.

“So I’ve actually read quite a bit about you diamond dogs. There is quite a bit of information on you in fact,” he replaced his monocle, “but something always left me puzzled. You are known for being second to none when it comes to hoarding the most valuable gems to be found, but you aren’t very good at finding them. This is a contradictory fact, yet it is also the truth, it would be much more economical if you were to manufacture ways to help find the gems. Tell me, why haven’t you done that yet?” He finished, his demeanor still unwavering. The diamond dogs stared, visibly confused. One of the large ones leaned over to the small “commander”.

“Hey, what’s ecnomonimal mean?” He was quickly slapped upside the head by the smaller one.

“I’m the one that does the thinking here! I know this one, gimme a sec!”

Fancy smiled to himself as the dogs all began trying to make heads or tails of Fancy’s question. Rarity was confused and still shaking. She nearly squeaked when she suddenly felt herself being lifted off the ground. Fancy used his magic to lift her up slowly.

“Shh, trust me.” He winked at her and placed her on his back. The dogs continued to ponder the question. Fancy glanced at the horizon. The sun was just about to disappear over it. He shut his eyes tight and began counting in his head. The last bit of light began receding.

“AARGH FORGET IT! JUST GET THEM!” The little dog ordered. Then the sun disappeared behind the horizon, shrouding the area in darkness. Fancy opened his eyes and made a break for a small gap between two of the larger dogs. Rarity shrieked and held tightly to her hat. She was convinced that Fancy had completely lost his mind. There was no way the two large dogs wouldn’t stop them. However, they passed right between them without any trouble.

“ARGH! Where are they!?” The small dog yelled. Rarity looked back, and could still see them mostly even with the lack of sunlight, but the dogs looked around frantically as if it were pitch black.

“Over here!” Fancy called back to them, again to Rarity’s alarm. The dogs all turned towards him and gave chase. He kept up his gallop and made for the rocky, dug up terrain. He veered off and moved behind a large upturned boulder. Fancy gave a whistle in their direction, “here boys! I’m over here!” All twelve of the dogs tried to come to an instant halt. They ended up skidding and crashing into each other, the small one got sandwiched painfully in between two of his bruisers.

“ARGH! You idiots! Quit bumbling around!” Two that managed to avoid most of the epic pileup were already heading at Fancy.

“That’s right! Right this way!” He kept jeering. He continued whistling, but moved so he was completely behind the boulder. Rarity jumped as two loud THUMPS were heard. Fancy quickly jumped around it, the two large dogs had charged headfirst into the boulder and were down for the count. “Two down! Ten to go!” Fancy cheerfully chanted. Using his magic he grabbed a coil of rope hanging off one of the dog’s belt and hung it around his neck. He grabbed the coil off the other dog in his teeth. He sprinted back towards the recovering group of dogs and tossed the coil in his teeth up into the air. He quickly used his magic to tie one end of the rope around the waist of the large dog in front of the line, he snaked the length of the rope between their ranks in a zigzag pattern, and the other end to the dog in back. The small light from his magic alerted them, and the group tried to pursue them again, but only the dogs on the ends managed to give chase, the rest tripped up by the rope tied between them.

Fancy whistled again to guide them towards him, and hid behind another boulder. He made whistling noises around one side, then switched to the other and repeated. Rarity dared not question anything he tried, because he seemed to have the situation well in hoof. It didn’t mean she wasn’t terrified though.

The dogs passed by the boulder on opposite sides, Fancy leapt away from the boulder as the rope between them caught on it. The dogs felt the whiplash, and their momentum forced them to fly at each other and crash face to face, knocking each other out with yelps.

“Four down!” Fancy smiled as he saw the group approaching again. They clumsily stayed clustered together. Fancy glanced around and saw three fairly large stones lying about. He used his magic to lift them up and took a good look at his targets. He let all three fly at once. The stones took a perfect trajectory, clonking three dogs precisely on the noggin. “Five, six, seven!”

“GET THEM! GET! THEM!” The smaller dog was FURIOUS. Now he sounded less interested in catching the pair and more interested in beating them to a pulp. Fancy looked around for more options. There was a small forested area nearby.

“Hold on tight miss Rarity!” He politely warned before sprinting as fast as he could towards the forest. He kept his magic activated to bait the dogs towards him. They followed aimlessly, barking and snarling. Intent on not letting a pony get the best of them.

Fancy reached the edge of the forest and flipped the rope around his neck off and to the ground. He let Rarity down from his back and pointed to a nearby tree. Without a word she hid behind it and watched.

Using his magic, Fancy tied one end to the first tree, and grabbed the other end in his teeth. He made a small light with his magic that shone a foot or so away from the tree trunk he stood behind. The remaining dogs charged right at it. Right before they passed the tree, Fancy jumped out and caught them all by the abdomen with the rope. He quickly ran a circle around them and forced them lightly against the tree. With a sharp yank, he forced all of them hard against the trunk, effectively knocking them out. He released the rope and inspected his work, but something was off.

“Three? I thought there were f—” Rarity shrieked as Fancy was suddenly grabbed and thrown into a nearby tree trunk. He grunted painfully as his back struck firmly against it and he fell, the back of his suit ripping with bits stuck to the trunk. He coughed, stunned by the blow. Fancy had missed the fourth bruiser, and was now in a predicament for sure. He struggled to get to his feet, but the dog grabbed him around the neck and forced him back against the trunk.

“HA! You thought you could outwit us, eh fancy pony?” The small one appeared beside them. The big dog punched Fancy in the stomach, hard. Fancy exhaled loudly and gasped for breath. “Not so tough now are ya?”

Rarity watched in horror. She was shaking and frozen in place. It stung even more that Fancy was being beaten, and it was her fault.

“Normally I’d take you back and force you to work, but after humiliating me and the rest of us, I’m not feeling too generous!” He smirked and patted the big dog on the back. “Kill him!”

Rarity’s eyes shot open. Fancy was struck repeatedly in the stomach and face. He kicked and struggled, but he couldn’t free himself nor defend himself. Each blow was hard and numbing, and for once, he had no idea how he was going to get out of it.

“RRRRAAAAAAGGHHHH!!!!!!” Rarity suddenly leapt up and clamped herself to the back of the large dog’s head. Spooked, the dog instantly dropped Fancy and began flailing his arms around, swinging and clawing at Rarity. One of his random swings eventually struck Rarity in the cheek and she was batted right off. She crashed to the ground with a yelp, her hat flying off her head, and she lay cringing on the ground.

Rarity was never one to get into harm’s way. The only time in her life she had suffered a major injury was a while back with the train wreck incident. But there she had lost all feeling in her arms and considered it lucky that she couldn’t feel the pain. Here she had just taken a blow to the cheek and got scraped up on the ground, but pain was foreign to her. She curled up and shuddered on instinct.

The big dog turned to her, but before he could reach her, a large branch, surrounded by Fancy’s magic, struck the dog in the back of the head and knocked him flat. He pulled his face out of the dirt and glared in the direction of Fancy.

Rarity squeaked her eyes open, tears finding their way over her mascara and causing small black smears. They slightly blurred her vision but she could make out Fancy squaring off with the remaining large diamond dog. Fancy’s mane was all messed up, he had a few bruises on his face and a black eye, his suit was all scuffed up and torn in a few places, and his monocle was smashed and bent. He stared down the dog, his eyes alight with anger. He shook off the broken monocle, removed his suit, spat out some blood and cracked his neck.

“It would seem we have to finish this the hard way!” His voice was sharp and devoid of the usual cheer. He set his hooves and readied his magic. By now the moon had risen, letting a glow of twilight illuminate the night. Fancy’s use of the dark was no longer an option. He had to meet this one in combat.

The dog charged headlong at him. Fancy held his ground, daring the dog to stay its course. The dog thrust its claws out towards Fancy’s face. He moved very slightly and subtly, letting the dog’s long arm whisk past his face. Fancy hooked his hoof around the dog’s wrist and placed his body in a position to collide with the dog. With a quick flash of his horn, Fancy’s magic gave the dog a small boost upward. The dog’s momentum carried him up and over Fancy’s body, flinging him into a tree with enough force to split the trunk and topple it completely.

Knowing that was hardly the end of it, Fancy returned to his ready stance. The dog emerged from the pile of split wood with only a few bruises and scratches. Instead of charging, it moved towards Fancy slower with the intention of bringing the fight up close. This particular bruiser proved to be both tougher and smarter than his dimwitted brethren.

Fancy caught on and shifted his stance. To stand slightly askew from his approaching opponent, but kept his magic at the ready. The dog came at him with both arms this time, throwing blows with fists and claws alike. Every attack was aimed at Fancy’s face, but Fancy kept his eyes on the dog’s body, predicting each attack based on the movement of the dog’s shoulders and dodging accordingly. When this strategy worked in Fancy’s favor, the dog started throwing in false steps and feints. Fancy found himself slowly moving backwards as it became harder to predict the movements. Eventually a claw caught the edge of his cheek, leaving a long scratch on his face. Fancy winced, and the instant it took to do so left him open.

Fancy threw up a magic shield to receive the incoming blow, but it was so close to his face that the punched forced it against his face and made him stumble backward against a tree. His eyes shot open and he ducked quickly as the dog’s fist struck and went right through the tree trunk. Fancy tried to roll out of the way, but he chose the direction poorly, rolling to the side of the dog’s free hand. The back of the dog’s free fist swiped out and struck Fancy in the stomach, causing him to tumble roughly in his escape. He coughed violently as he rose to his feet, panting and gasping for air. The dog ripped its arm free from the tree and approached the stunned Fancy.

The dog stood ready to deliver a crushing blow to Fancy’s skull, but Fancy was not as stunned as he showed. The dog had recklessly come within striking distance. Fancy spun around and delivered two hard kicks to the dog’s stomach. The dog wheezed and fell to his knees, the air knocked completely out of his lungs. Fancy followed up with a left and right hook across the dog’s jaw before using his magic to grab the dog by the head and thrust its face into the hard dirt below. Without canceling his magic, Fancy strained himself, lifting the dog free from the dirt and throwing its face into a nearby tree, a large rock, and back into the dirt again before gasping and releasing the hold. The dog lay still, beaten and out cold.

Fancy fell back on his flank, trying to catch his breath. He looked around for the smaller dog, but it had smartly scurried off as soon as his large companion was felled.

“Hmph.” Fancy grunted as his eyes reverted from anger to their normal expression. He sighed and looked around until he saw Rarity curled up, shivering, and staring into space. She knew she was safe and was impressed with Fancy’s ability to defend himself, but she was still scratched up, in pain, and scared. The alcohol had run its course, but she still felt vulnerable. Fancy approached her and sat down beside her.

“Take your time my dear.” He did his best to comfort her but there was clearly no way she’d be comfortable as long as they stayed where they were. Fancy used his magic to pull his mangled suit over to him and pulled out his pocket watch. It was cracked, but the gears were still turning. “Ah!” He reacted to the time, “I’m sorry Rarity, but we must get you back.” He used his magic to hoist her up on his back gently and place her hat back on her head, “I’ll walk until you feel ready to do so, but I promise you’ll feel much better upon returning home.” He started back towards the path, and Rarity complied without a word.

What a horrible way for the day to turn out. It was already by far the most stressful day of Rarity’s life, she spent the whole day having her hopes dashed in terms of impressing him, and to top it all off they were attacked by Diamond Dogs and Fancy was lucky he escaped with only some bruises and a black eye. Now he was carrying her on his back after everything. That was the first thing that had to be fixed.

“I’m fine now Fancy, please let me down.” She suddenly spoke as they traversed the moonlit path back towards Carousel Boutique.

“Are you sure dear? It’s not much further.”

“Please.” She requested sternly. Fancy stopped so she could hop down. He legs buckled briefly, but she found her balance and they continued side by side. She had her senses back mostly now. The shock of it all was fresh on her mind, but it failed to keep her down. She had been curious, despite its most likely adding to how much in awe of Fancy she was, about how he handled the diamond dogs.

“Fancy, how in Equestria did you elude those dogs so well? I thought for sure they had surrounded us.” Her question surprised him, but he smiled.

“I mixture of light and their own stupidity,” he began, “I lied to them about not knowing much of them. I posed to them a question they could not possibly figure out to distract them until the sun went down. I had my eyes closed to adjust to darkness so I’d be able to see clearer once the light was gone. I had double the advantage over them, because living underground over many centuries had made their eyes week but their hearing strong. It made it very easy to guide them into traps.” He explained. It was hard to tell Fancy had just been in a fight by just listening. He was always very quick to recover his demeanor in a very professional manner. “As for when I squared off against the final dog, I guess you now know I’ve had some experience in Judo and self-defense. You can never be too careful.”

Just as she thought, more reasons to be in awe of him. It’s not like it mattered to Rarity anymore anyway. She wasn’t going to get approval after a day like this. She was already thinking of how she was going to scrap the fashion show and get her shop back on track. Her thoughts forced out a grunt of frustration and a heavy sigh.

“How are you feeling?” Fancy asked out of courtesy, but Rarity was feeling anything but courteous. Her demeanor snapped and everything came pouring out.

“AWEFUL!” She yelled pulling off her hat and tossing it to the ground. Fancy stopped two steps ahead of her and turned towards her, surprised. “This has been THE. WORST. DAY. OF. MY. LIFE.” She stomped her hooves over and over again. “I’m bogged down in my work, I make a fool of myself from start to finish in front of a high end visitor, I get us into danger, AND you got hurt! EVERYTHING is going WRONG on a day where it was essential for everything to go RIGHT!” Tears were flowing from her eyes now, smearing her already mascara smeared eyes further. “Sometimes I wonder why I try! I’m just a NORMAL pony in a NORMAL designer shop, making NORMAL clothes that will NEVER catch the attention of anypony besides NORMAL ponies!” Her legs had collapse beneath her and she was now a crying heap on the ground. Fancy stared, blinking, very confused about what was happening right in front of him. She was far from done too. “This has probably been an awful trip for you too!”

“Now I wouldn’t—”

“Fixing problems for my friends, seeing how useless I am to them!”

“That’s not true, Rarity I’ve enjoyed your friends and—”

"Watching me stumble around on one wimpy glass of wine and lead us straight to Diamond Dog territory. You get beat up, and AAAAAUUUGHHHH!!!!!!” She pounded her face on the ground. Fancy quickly stepped forward and stopped her from doing so.

“Rarity please! I—”

“Don’t lie to me, PLEASE! Don’t sugar coat it!” She pleaded. Fancy went silent and thought for a moment before sighing and taking a seat beside her.

“I’m sorry.” He began softly. Calming down himself seemed to get her to do the same. “Fine. Pleasantries and false face aside, this has not been my best trip. I’m serious about enjoying my time with your friends and with Richard, but having to fight for my life hasn’t made this very high on my memorable visit list. But you shouldn’t blame yourself, I could have easily just run away from the dog’s, yet I was over-zealous and let my taste for sport put us in unnecessary danger. Forgive me for that.” The honesty was both refreshing and stinging for Rarity. Fancy had been keeping things from her, but he was doing it so as not to upset her. His confession about the dogs was also refreshing, pointing out a possible flaw of bad timing with over-confidence. With anyone else, picking out a flaw would seem shameful, but with Fancy it made him seem more real and less majestic. He was clearly put off though, and she had no idea if she would ever recover from a debacle this severe.

“HOWEVER,” Fancy said very sharply and clearly, jostling her from her sorrowful thoughts. She glanced at him and saw him smiling. She wasn’t expecting that. “It may have been a strange roller coaster of a day, but it provided a great bonding experience between me and a future partner of mine.”

He looked towards her casually. She was processing and reprocessing what he had just said over and over again. Future partner. Future partner. Future partner. But she hadn’t said anything to him nor even mentioned anything about the fashion show. He reached down and offered her a hoof.

“Come now Rarity, we are almost back to your shop. I’d hate to keep everyone waiting.” He finished with a smile and spoke no further. She stiffly rose and followed him. Her brain was frozen in place. Future partner. Everyone. Future partner. Everyone. What the hell was he talking about and what was going on? Was something planned from the very beginning?

They approached Carousel Boutique and it looked like there was activity inside. Rarity stared anxiously at her home, glancing between it and a smirking Fancy Pants continuously.

“Well don’t just stand there. I believe you have guests to attend to.” He winked at her. She slowly approached the door and pushed it open.

If Rarity’s eyes went any wider than they did, they might have completely covered her face or turned her eyelash extensions into projectiles. Standing in the middle of her workshop: Hoity-Toity, Photo Finish, Sapphire Shores, and Fleur-de-lis. All viewing the few dresses she had finished and surrounding a very nervous and confused Sweetie Belle. Her jaw dropped as she received a small nudge from behind from Fancy. The ponies, minus Hoity-Toity, turned and greeted them as they entered. Fleur-de-lis gasped as she saw Fancy all scuffed up and bruised, quickly moving to assess him.

“Fancy! What in the world happened to—” She was roughly shoved aside by Photo Finish, who looked like she was going to tug her mane right off.

“NO NO NO! Vhat happened to your BEAUTIFUL visage!?” She flailed her hooves about.

“We had a run in with some ruffians on the way back.” Fancy explained with a nervous chuckle.

“I’m glad you made it back!” Sapphire Shores voiced her glee as she turned back to the dresses, “These designs are absolutely SENNNNNNSATIONAL! I had a feeling this place would deliver again!” Fancy nodded and approached Hoity, who was still examining the dresses.

“I’m confident you see something you like my friend?” he asked. Hoity gave Fancy a glance and nodded.

“I must say Fancy, I’m glad you brought up miss Rarity’s shop, I had completely forgotten about it.” Hoity kept his eyes on the dresses, examining Rarity’s hard work. He took no notice to Fancy’s slightly beaten state. Sweetie Belle had made her way around to Rarity, who was still near the doorway. She glanced between her big sister and the crowd of fancy looking strangers. She reached up to close Rarity’s dropped jaw, but as soon as she let go, it fell right back down.

“There is no other pony I’d trust to make unique custom designs. So you agree to the deal?” Fancy asked Hoity.

“I do indeed,” he replied, “these will be perfect for the upcoming show. She has earned my sponsorship for sure.”

“I would love to wear this one RIIIIIIGHT here!” Sapphire Shores kept staring wide eyed at a dress adorned with sapphires.

“I’ve been curious since your visit to Canterlot. Your talent is clear. I would love to wear some of these in the show.” Fleur-de-lis complimented Rarity. Photo Finish rubbed her hooves together behind Fleur.

“Yes, yes, yessssssssssssssssss. You will look PERFECT in these!” She mused to herself.

“Then we all agree.” Fancy stated, “feel free to work it all out between yourselves, I’ll have the contracts ready as well as my end of it all ready within the week.” He finished and turned to Rarity as the four famous ponies conversed amongst themselves. She was still frozen in place. “Come Rarity, we should attend to those scratches.”

Fancy led a still shocked Rarity up the stairs to her room. Upon request, Sweetie retrieved some band-aids and dropped them off before leaving them alone.

“So Rarity,” Fancy began as he applied the band-aids to the few scratches she suffered, “I’m sorry if I sprung this on you quickly, but you were the first person I thought of when it came to the upcoming fashion show. I hope you aren’t too caught off guard.” Rarity blinked and let her head droop.

“Actually, I’ve been working day and night already on the few dresses you saw downstairs. I have a confession to make Fancy, I’ve spent this whole day trying to find ways to impress you. I wanted to ask you at some point about sponsorship for the fashion show. But in the end, you were already working on it and I spent the day making a fool of myself and feeling powerless to catch your attention.” Fancy chuckled in response.

“Rarity, darling, whatever do you mean? You don’t have to impress me. I’ve kept an eye on you ever since your visit to Canterlot.”

“What?” Rarity blinked and looked back up at him. “But, why me? You had all the designers in Canterlot to choose from.”

“Heh,” Fancy smiled, “remember what I said at Richard’s place? ‘The most valuable gems are always where you least expect them.’” He said with a wink of his non-black-eye.

Rarity didn’t know what to say. She was the element of generosity, but no words could express how warm those few words made her feel when directed at her. She had spent the entire day trying so hard to find ways to impress him, and in the end all she had to do was believe in her ability just as Fancy already did.

“I should go down and make sure they don’t tear the place apart looking for more of your work,” Fancy joked. He stopped by the doorway and looked back. “Oh, and by the way, don’t worry about having the required amount of dresses ready for entry. Having more than three endorsements gives you automatic entry. You have five now, and trust me, we’d all rather see what you can make when you take your time and work carefully. Good luck Rarity, it has been quite an experience getting to know you more.” He flashed one more smile before returning downstairs.

Rarity sat still, all patched up, thinking on his words. Five endorsements. That meant a fashion promoter, a top model, a pop star, and a top fashion photographer were all on her side. On top of all that, THE one and only Fancy Pants, Canterlot’s most successful business owner and contractor, also gave her a seal of approval and his sponsorship.

She suddenly smiled giddily to herself as everything sank in. Just when she thought everything went wrong and couldn’t get any worse, it got completely turned around. She fell backwards and kicked her hooves up in the air while laughing hysterically.

“Out of all the things that could happen, this is the BEST. POSSIBLE. THING! WA HA HA!”

-The End-

-storyline to be continued-