Spike huffed as he ran across the institute on four claws, which has always been his faster mode of transportation, narrowly dodging ponies along the way. A particularly irate pony said some unpleasant terms Spike hadn’t ever heard before. He hadn’t known there were slurs for dragons.
But all of that couldn’t keep Spike’s mood down.
‘I just have to get through today! Then I’ve got to meet Blueblood and we can start figuring out what the first step in with searching!’ He gave a wheezing chuckle to himself. ‘I was avoiding him so much before, and now I’m looking forward to it because he offered to help me with the search?
‘Ahh, whatever. I’m in a good mood, and I won’t let silly things like logic ruin it!’
Spike collapsed on his stomach, breathing heavily when he arrived at the Office of Interdepartmental Research.
The receptionist raised his eyebrow at Spike. “Good morning,” he stated.
“Hey.” Spike panted. “Sorry for being late… I hope it hasn’t been a problem.”
“Not for me,” the receptionist said.
“Good”
“But you should probably be worried about the stallion who’s been waiting for you since before I got here this morning.”
Spike’s eyes snapped open and he scrambled onto his hind legs. “Okay! Yes! I’m ready for work!”
The receptionist handed Spike a folder. “The stallion asked for you specifically.”
‘I’m already getting a good reputation! That’s the power of Equestria’s Number One Assistant in action… or maybe the power of Blueblood putting in a good word for me.’ Spike smiled a toothy grin and exclaimed, “I’ll do it!” He dramatically slammed the papers down on the receptionists desk.
“Awesome!” a familiar voice rang out from around the corner of the hallway.
Spike’s smile faded from his face.
A familiar peach coated unicorn with an aqua mane trotted out from the hallway. “I was worried you wouldn’t be happy about it!”
Spike’s eye twitched. ‘It’s this jerk again?!’ Spike snatched up the request papers and actually looked at the assignment he was given.
It read: Proposal for Data Gathering on Dragon Biology.
‘This isn’t for an assistant position! It’s to be a guinea pig!’ Spike scowled at the unicorn stallion. “I changed my mind.”
“What?!” the stallion exclaimed. “You can’t do that! You agreed to it already!”
“I hadn’t looked at the papers yet,” Spike stated, keeping himself calm. “I didn’t know it was to be studying me. Do you have anything else for me?” He looked at the receptionist.
“It’s not like anyone else can do this, so no,” the receptionist droned.
“Come on!” the stallion implored. “There’s no reliable data on dragons for anything! It’s all legends and hearsay. We can only learn so much by watching dragons from a distance.”
“I–” ‘He’s right, though. The information we have on dragons is everything but scientific. The best books we have mostly deal in rumors… one claimed that dragons need to eat a tenth their weight in gems every month or they’ll go on a murderous rampage… Well, I have that gullible researcher to thank for Celestia making gems part of my diet, but how many other rumors like this are so dumb that they would hurt ponies?’ Spike looked down at the paperwork again. It indicated the planned tests are interviews about lifestyle, physical tests, a few blood samples, and magical scans. Like a more intensive doctor’s physical. ‘And it would look pretty bad for me to turn down my first request for me specifically…’
Spike sighed. “Fine.”
The unicorn lept into the air, pumping his hoof. “Yes! You won’t regret it! It’ll be the best thing!”
Spike pinched the bridge of his muzzle. ‘We’ll see about that.’
“Here it is: The Flora and Fauna Department!” the stallion announced, showing it off with his hoof.
He wheeled around and strutted into the department grounds. The buildings for this department were highly specialized. Many buildings had large doors, and some had no doors at all, opening to large workshops where ponies examined various critters. Trees and other plants were growing on the roof of several buildings, and greenhouses dotted the district.
The unicorn leading Spike stopped in front of a building with a very large loading door, but approached the pony-sized door. He jiggled the door knob with his hoof, finding it locked.
He rapped loudly on the door and called, “Sea Dream!”
There was a faint sound of approaching hoofsteps. The door opened a crack and a beige pony’s head stuck out. “What do you want, Whiptail?”
“It’s the first day of my project, Dreamy!”
Sea Dream groaned and rolled her eyes. “Whiptail, I’m busy with the irrigation project. I don’t have time to entertain your dragon research fantasies.”
“They’re not fantasies anymore,” Whiptail said, cocksure.
Dream stared at Whiptail. She started pushing the door further open. “You can’t tell me you found a dragon to actually agree to–” She stopped suddenly, finally catching a glimpse of Spike. “... No way.”
The door opened and Sea Dream, a beige and blue earth pony, walked out, marveling at Spike. “You’re–” She cocked her head “–not that big.”
“I noticed,” Spike said flatly.
She reeled back in surprise at Spike’s voice.
Whiptail piped up. “So, you’re ready to begin, right? You signed up for it.”
Sea Dream sighed. “Yeah, let me just go tell the irrigation team.” She disappeared back into the building.
“... What’s an irrigation?” Spike asked.
“Something that minotaurs do to water plants instead of getting a pegasus to do it.”
Spike cocked his head. “Why would–”
The door flew open again revealing Sea Dream. “Right. Let’s get on with this.”
Whiptail twisted around and dramatically pointed his hoof. “This way!” he announced in a melodramatic heroic voice.
The three of them set out across the Flora and Fauna department, but didn’t get very far before Whiptail interrupted them with a quick, “Hang on, I wanna talk to someone.”
Across the street were five ponies transporting several large carts with a few large tropical trees laid down on their sides, the kind with broad fronds that Spike would see on beaches in comics. Instead of coconuts, however, the trees had clusters of vibrantly colored fibers formed into balls growing off the trunk.
The rustling sound they made as the tree shifted was pleasant, but Spike was in no mood for cheer.
Whiptail called out, “Hey, Garden Spice! Check it out!”
More than just the group of ponies moving the tree turned to look at Whiptail. It felt like the entire street turned their heads to face Whiptail, and immediately locked their eyes on Spike.
“Guess who got a bona-fide dragon for his research!” Whiptail called out.
A cry was heard from a pony across the street. Some ponies recoiled, others simply widened their eyes, a few of them started whispering to each other.
“I know, awesome, right?” Whiptail yelled.
There was no visible response, but Whiptail just hopped and twisted around to face Spike and Sea Dream. “Come on, we don’t have time to deal with speechless ponies.” He set out to the aforementioned destination.
Sea Dream sighed and, following Whiptail, muttered, “Agreeing to this was a mistake.”
Whiptail made sure to get lots of attention, calling to every pony he knew, strutting proudly ahead of Spike and Sea Dream. Which meant there were lots of gawkers at Spike.
He fought off the urge to scowl as ponies whispered too loudly to each other and stared. Spike glared at a pony off to the side, who averted her eyes and started whistling, pretending to mind her own business.
Spike snorted. ‘I can’t believe this guy. Strutting around like he discovered me, all for his own glory.’
"So, where did you find this dragon, Whiptail?" Sea Dream said.
Whiptail laughed. "I just found him near the statue a couple days ago, and asked the Office of Interdepartmental Research if they could find me a dragon."
‘I’m right here! You can literally ask me!’ Spike groused internally.
“Well, seems like a lucky break,” Sea Dream said. “Given that you have been rambling about dragon research for months.”
“Sure was! I figur–”
“I work here,” Spike spat, interrupting Whiptail.
Whiptail and Sea Dream both stopped, shocked. Spike continued on forward.
“I’ve been working for the Office of Interdepartmental Research as a junior researcher for about a week and a half now,” Spike groused, walking past them.
Spike stopped in place and squeezed his eyes closed. ‘Oh no, I just told a dragon-obsessed jerk that I was staying here permanently. For a brief second of witty satisfaction, that wasn’t even that good.’
“That’s fantastic!” Whiptail exclaimed.
‘I’m so stupid.’
“So,” Whiptail said, jumping in front of Spike, a broad toothy smile on his face. “If we don’t finish today you’ll still be available?”
Spike calmed himself, and opened his eyes. “I still have my job to do, in addition to this. I’m a busy dragon.”
“Then let’s not waste time!” Whiptail exclaimed, and excitedly headed off through the department grounds.
Spike sat, looking very put out, on an examination bench surrounded by advanced medical equipment. This office was very spartan. There weren’t any posters on the walls, save for a few reminders for the doctors, nor was the bench padded very well. In fact, the comfortable amenities that ponies would be accustomed to were missing from this clinic, Spike expected.
This is because it was a veterinary clinic.
Sea Dream gently tapped Spike’s knee with a small hammer.
“You’re gonna need to hit it at least twice that hard to get through his scales,” Whiptail intruded. “They’re tough.”
Spike fought off a snarl. “How much longer are we going to be doing this part?”
Whiptail picked up a clipboard with papers with his hoof, and idly flipped through them. “Well… the physical health examinations, scans, blood samples and photographic records are probably going to take a couple more hours, and then we’ll get to the fun stuff.”
Sea Dream narrowly dodged Spike’s reflexive rear claw flail.
“... The fun stuff,” Spike said in disbelief.
Whiptail grinned. “The strength and endurance tests.”
Spike groaned.
Whiptail cocked his head to the side. “What’s wrong with that? It’s more interesting than this part, for sure.”
Spike huffed. ‘Can’t disagree with him, there.’
The earth pony currently measuring the proportions of Spike’s limbs piped up. “So, the reason I’m here is because this is such a boring job you can’t bring yourself to do it yourself?” she said snidely.
“Naw,” Whiptail replied. “You’re here ‘cause I dunno how to use the scanning equipment.”
Sea Dream sighed. “Right… how you got clearance to be in charge of this project is beyond me.”
Whiptail smirked. “I have insider dragon knowledge. Besides, I came up with the idea!”
‘Insider… knowledge? What does he me–’
Sea Dream grunted, held up a small magical light near Spike’s muzzle. “Open wide please.”
Spike opened his mouth, and she peered into his maw, inspecting his teeth. “Stick out your tongue please.”
Spike slithered his tongue slightly, and she grabbed it roughly, pulling it out as far as it will go. “Aaaauw,” Spike protested as she measured its length.
“Hooo-ee that is long,” Whiptail marveled.
Sea Dream made some notes on her clipboard. “Isn’t there something you can actually do to research right now, instead of just watching me work?” She got up and moved towards the more advance equipment.
“Calm down, I was gettin’ to that,” Whiptail explained. “Couldn’t ask him questions ‘til after you’re done with that part.” He produced his clipboard. “So, first off: Diet. What do you eat and in what composition?”
“A mixture of vegetables and gemstones. More vegetables these days,” Spike replied.
Whiptail raised his eyebrow. “No meat?”
“Nope.”
“Not ever?”
“Well not… never.” Spike fidgeted. “I used to eat fish sometimes, and I’ve tried a few other things… but no, I generally don’t eat meat. I get funny looks when I try to.”
“Weird. Uh… what about eating other kinds of treasure?”
Spike blinked. “Other… kinds?”
“Like gold.”
“I can do that?”
“I dunno. I heard somewhere dragons could.”
“Well, I’ve never tried.”
“Alright. What about rocks?”
Spike put on an unamused expression. “Rocks.”
“Yeah!”
“No,” Spike said sternly.
“Why not? They’re made of the same stuff as gems.”
“Do you eat dirt?”
“... Course not.”
“Why not? It’s made of the same stuff that plants are made of.”
“Yeah, but it’s not in the right structure to be used by our bo–oh.”
“Eeyup,” Spike said with a neutral face.
Whiptail blinked and tilted his head. Spike mentally facepalmed. ‘That’s right, no Big Macintosh means no one understands the reference.’
“Rrrright,” Whiptail said. He picked up his pen with his hoof and put it in his mouth, making a note. “Queshtin two: How old are you?”
“Nineteen.”
He chuckled through his pen. “Shomething we haff in common.” He took a note. “When didjoo have any growth shpurtsh?”
“Um… I don’t remember when I was really young… but–” ‘I grew a bit when Twilight became princess… but not much. I didn’t shoot up until right after she disappeared.’ “–the first one started about four years ago.”
“Enny othersh?”
‘The last one… after the breakup I shot up the last foot and a half.’ “A year ago.”
Whiptail nodded through his writing. “Mhm, mhm. Any shignificant thingsh happen to you thosh yearsh?”
Spike managed to look anywhere but at Whiptail. “... Nothing much.”
“Uh… ok.”
“The magic scanners are ready!” Sea Dream announced.
Whiptail spat his pencil out. “Great! We’ll do more of this later!”
Spike got himself hooked up to the scanner, which involved attaching magic-sensitive nodes to a variety of places on himself, all hooked up to a metal device of some sort. He remembered something very similar used to be in the library’s basement, complete with a large metal dome for a hat.
Spike sat silently for a few minutes as Sea Dream worked the device.
“... Wow,” she said.
Whiptail peered over at the readings, hidden from Spike. “... Is that good?”
“Well, it’s a pretty high reading.”
“Oh… How high?”
“He’s reading about three times as much as a typical pony would. Even if his body is less magic-efficient and emitting more residual magic, it still indicates a big reserve,” Sea Dream explained. “Not quite as much as a really powerful unicorn gives off.”
“These spikes here mean most of the magic is from his chest?”
“Yes, there’s a large amount of residual magic coming from the upper chest region.”
Whiptail nodded. “Mm. Dragonfire. Yes. What else?”
Sea Dream examined the values more. “Everything that fire goes through is a bit more magical than everything else. I… think maybe his teeth are pretty magical? I’d have to change the locations of the diodes to work… and figure out how to stick them in his mouth.”
Spike frowned. ‘I knew it, they’re considering more invasive tests.’
Sea Dream looked up. “Can you get him to breathe some dragonfire to see the results?”
“You could just ask,” Spike groused.
She looked up with an embarrassed grimace. “I wanted to know if that was in the bounds of the experiment.”
Whiptail shrugged. “I guess so.”
Sea Dream looked at him agape. “You… guess?”
“Just make sure it’s not too rough for the next part of the test,” he followed up.
Spike raised his eyebrow, but took a deep breath anyway, and blew gently out a constant gout of green fire, trying to limit the distance from his muzzle.
The researcher’s eyes went wide. “It’s… green?”
Whiptail wiggled his eyebrows. “Yeah. Pretty cool huh?”
‘Great. I’m a sideshow. Just like earlier today.’ Spike stopped his flame, while the two equine researchers poured over the information. ‘The biggest irony is, if this were five years ago I would eat up this attention and not even notice it was condescending.’ He puffed out smoke in a huff. ‘Just shows how much wiser I am now.’
Whiptail turned to Spike. “Alright, we’re done with this part, dragon.”
Spike grunted.
“There’s more coming, though. Bloodwork and some more questions, so let’s get to it!”
Spike surveyed the white limestone quarry in front of him. It was cut down into the side of a hill, and even the shallow side was deeper than he was tall. The walls were straight and cut, and there were large rectangular stones that were cut out of the walls but hadn’t been moved, and a lot of half broken larger bricks and rubble.
“Right. So we’re here,” Spike said.
“It’s true!” Whiptail replied.
“Yeah. Why are we here?”
“The fun part!” Whiptail said, hopping high into the air. “The physical limits test!” He trotted out into the white expanse.
“... But why are we an hour out of town for this?”
“Because it’s got everything we need! Big rocks for strength testing, target practice for fire, lots of room for endurance,” he said, clearly indicating those as he explained.
Spike sighed. “Right. Let’s get this going.”
“Aww,” Whiptail said. “Don’t be down, I know no one else will be here to see how awesome you are, but it’ll all be recorded for posterity.” He hoisted his saddlebags off onto a nearby stone. “We’ve got a lot of stuff to do, and we need some warm-ups, first. So, come on!” He took off at a brisk pace around the upper rim of the quarry.
“I… hold on!” Spike called, and started out after Whiptail.
Whiptail just laughed.
Spike flopped down on the ground, finally released from Whiptail’s excessive warm-up. His legs ached and he he was short of breath.
Whiptail trotted over Spike. “Whoo, you are not in shape, are ya?”
Spike couldn’t muster the energy to snarl. Instead he groaned.
Whiptail laughed again. “We’ll take a break, then move onto the actual tests.”
Spike laid on the ground until his limbs felt better… then laid down for a few more minutes for good measure, then sat up. Whiptail had moved slightly down into the quarry proper, laid out several clipboards, and marked several stones and walls with black marks, stark against the white sandstone walls. Currently he was measuring a particularly large stone with a measuring tape, held with his hooves.
Spike watched him measure for a moment, wondering why it seemed weird he was using his hooves and mouth. His eyes drifted to Whiptail’s horn. ‘Oh. That’s why. Why isn’t he using his magic for this? It’s not like his horn doesn’t work, he beat me pretty good with it the other day...’
Spike glanced down at Whiptail’s flank. It was adorned with a lasso cutie mark. ‘I guess that explains the lasso spell… doesn’t quite explain the shield. What’s his mark for? Critter wrangling?’
Whiptail spun around, and broke into a big toothy grin. “Aha! Have you caught your breath? I’m ready for the next part!”
Spike nodded hesitantly.
“Good!” He roared, “Time for fire!” He lifted a device, which had a gage and a pointing wand, above his head.
“Um…”
“Come on!” he said, beckoning energetically with his forehoof. “Time to get to the best part! How much fire you can breathe!”
‘Another test I’d probably be super excited to do when I was younger,’ Spike thought. He sighed and walked down into the quarry, next to Whiptail. “Right, what do you need?”
“I’m gonna use this doohickey–” Whiptail motioned to the device in his hoof “–to measure the heat in the center of your fire, and the magic levels of it.”
He motioned to a stone marked with a black X. “Aim for the mark, and breathe the biggest fireball you can.”
Spike calmed his breathing, closed his eyes, and linked to the well of magic he could feel deep in his chest. He gathered his magic, filling his lungs with as much magic as he felt he could muster, preparing for a whopper of a fireball. He inhaled and could feel himself warming up as that magic prepared to become fire. He opened his eyes, parted his muzzle slightly to aim, and sharply exhaled, expelling the gathered magic along with the heated air in his lungs. A large green plume of flame burst from his muzzle, forming a hefty plume that struck the marked stone in its center, scorching a good meter-wide mark in the limestone.
After a moment, a disappointed sound came from slightly behind him. “... Huh.”
“Whaddya mean, ‘huh’?” Spike wheeled around.
Whiptail was looking unimpressed, and he plodded over to his notes.
“That was premium dragon fire!” Spike exclaimed, pointing at the scorch mark on the wall.
“Well…” Whiptail waggled his head back and forth, not looking at Spike. “I guess it was pretty hot, and the green color is really cool, but I sorta expected it to be… bigger.”
Spike pursed his lips together and grunted.
“Not that it’s a big deal.” Whiptail said, dismissing the issue with a wave of his hoof. “I just thought it would be a lot bigger based on your size.”
Spike looked back at the scorch mark. ‘... It’s not like this is really much bigger than it was when I was a baby dragon. Shouldn’t I have improved more?’
A memory formed in Spike’s mind of a huge plume of orange flame he produced to save an entire stadium. ‘I was capable of more fire that long ago too… even if it was during an emergency. I should be capable of… a bit more than this, right?’
“Wait,” Spike announced, holding his claw out to stop Whiptail from taking his notes. “I’ll try again.”
Spike gathered magic in his chest again, trying to force more magic into it, inhaled deeply and breathed out forcibly again, sending another brilliant green blast of fire at the wall. It succeeded in expanding the scorch mark by a couple feet, but was only slightly larger.
Whiptail made a thoughtful grunt. “It was… a little bit better. But only a little.”
“I know,” Spike growled. “I’ve made much more fire before.”
“And… what, you forgot how?” Whiptail said incredulously.
“It was an emergency,” Spike snapped. “I just did it instinctively.”
“So, do it instinctively... again?”
Spike wrinkled his snout. “It doesn’t work that way. Even if it was instinctively I’d be able to figure out at least how it was done.”
“Well, maybe we could reproduce the circumstances? What happened last time to set it off?”
‘A gigantic falling ice cloud… that would be a bad plan.’ “... There was a lot of ice. I melted it.”
Whiptail raised an eyebrow. “Uh… that’s it? When was this?”
“The past. I’m going to keep trying,” Spike said, turning back to his target and inhaling deeply. His chest expanded as he tried to puff every bit of space he could for more air and magic and exhaled forcefully, trying to get every bit of air and gathered magic out of his lungs… producing a slightly larger fireball.
Spike panted. ‘How did I do it? I should be still able to do something at least slightly close, but this is completely different. Just slightly larger fireballs. I can’t breathe more air or gather much more magic than I am. I’m not running out of fire or anything… I’ve got a lot of magic left. Probably because my lungs are still pretty small. I just can’t use more magic at once.’
Spike inhaled again, as deep as he could, and gathered as much magic as he could muster at once. He spat the flames out his mouth, poorly aiming and not producing a visibly larger flame, just a messier one. He forced more air of his mouth, his flames dwindling to a thin wispy plume wafting from his lips, both his breath and the magic in his lungs dwindled.
Right before the end, he pushed just a bit more magic from his gut, burping out a bright green plume. The fire came unbidden, without his breath, although it didn’t coalesce into a paper.
Spike stopped in surprise. ‘Wait… that was more fire than I had breath… created by magic? That’s the trick!’
A hoof suddenly laid on Spike’s shoulder, and he twitched in shock, and whirled around. Whiptail was there, a worried look on his face.
“That last one was pretty uh… raw. Maybe we should move on”–
“No!” Spike interrupted, a wild look in his eyes. “I got it now!” He spun around and faced the irregular scorch mark. “Stand back,” he commanded, moving Whiptail slightly back with his claw.
Spike inhaled one more time, gathering magic as he usually did… and pursed his lips and slowly exhaled the fire, but not gently. He blew a strong but thin stream of fire out of his mouth, drawing more magic into his lungs as he breathed it out.
The stream of flame, much thinner than his flamboyant fire blasts from before, licked out toward the target, barely touching it. Spike increased the pressure of his magic and found that as he fed his fire more magic, more was simply produced without running out of breath as quickly. He didn’t have to force it out of his lungs as he had to hold his lungs steady. Spike fed more and more magic to his fire, the core still green but the edges turning orange, opening his maw wider as the pressure of the fire coming from his mouth increased.
The flame roared as its intensity increased. Spike could feel the heat from the flames, pleasant for a dragon, but surely not as pleasant for the poor rock, which was completely bathed in green and orange fire, as well as a good part of the surrounding ground and walls by the time Spike truly ran out of breath and magic.
Of course, being rocks they didn’t really light on fire, instead the center of the target was glowing orange.
Spike panted, and a warmth spread over Spike from his lungs. He puffed up his chest proudly, and snorted out a small cloud of smoke. ‘Hah! That’s how I did it back in the Crystal Empire! Instead of shoving all the gathered magic out in just one big flame, I kept feeding the fire in my lungs more magic in desperation. Doing it this way is a lot more satisfying than the old way.’
“Hoooo yeah! That’s more like it!” Whiptail’s voice resounded from behind Spike.
Spike glanced back at Whiptail, who was bounding, and looked away to hide his smile.
Whiptail laughed. “I can see that smile there. Ain’t it better like this than bein’ all mopey?”
Spike’s smile faded. “Mopey…?”
Whiptail trotted toward the center of the target, but it didn’t take long before he started making mild yelps of pain and hopped away. “Wooh. That is hot.” He looked at his unadorned hooves. “Maybe I should get some boots.”
Spike stomped up in front of Whiptail, barely even noticing the heated stone on his claws. “Whaddya mean mopey?”
Whiptail looked up at Spike, blinking innocently. “Uh… you’ve been mopin’, like, all day.”
“You… you knew I was in a bad mood?!” Spike said incredulously.
Whiptail raised an eyebrow. “It was pretty obvious, mate.”
Spike frowned. “So you knew and still paraded me around town?”
Whiptail shrugged. “Yeah… it didn’t put you in a better mood. I dunno why.”
“Why would a bunch of whispering nervous strangers put me in a good mood?!”
Whiptail frowned. “Nervous? They weren’t nervous, they were amazed. You’re way more impressive than the usual critters that we get.”
“They were gawking! I’m not a critter, and I’m not a… carnival attraction!”
“Of course you aren’t, but that’s not a reason to be all mopey about bein’ a dragon.”
“Being a... “ A lightbulb went off in Spike’s head “This is about the same thing that it was the day at Twilight’s statue, isn’t it?”
“Well… yeah. You were in a bad mood then too.”
“You were insisting that I was just a brainless animal,” Spike growled.
“I… what?” Whiptail scrunched up his nose. “No!” he protested.
Spike leaned down close to Whiptail’s face. “Yeah you did. You were all about how I wasn’t a pony, and how I belonged in the fauna department. Like I was just a dumb animal.”
Whiptail rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I–”
“And then you asked me to be your guinea pig,” Spike said.
Whiptail shrugged. “You agreed to it.”
Spike turned around and flung his hands into the air. “And now you’ve dragged me all the way into this quarry out in the middle of nowhere to marvel at how great it is that I can breathe fire.”
“It’s hardly the middle of now–”
Spike snapped his head back to Whiptail. “And you won’t quit with that smug insufferable tone!” he shouted. “Just. Shut. Up.”
Whiptail stopped mid word, his mouth hanging open.
“So, if we’re done, why don’t you just leave me alone,” Spike said.
Spike started stomping away, but was halted by Whiptail’s voice, free of the usual humor.
“Because you’re mopey.”
Spike turned back, surprised.
Whiptail continued. “I saw a dragon—a ferocious, firebreathing dragon!—looking like he was about to cry in front of Princess Twilight’s statue.” Whiptail stepped toward Spike, the normal bounce gone from his step. “So, I decided to interrupt him. Get him thinking about something else.”
“By reminding me how much a pony I’m not.”
“By reminding you you’re a dragon. One of the mightiest races on this planet.”
Spike huffed out a puff of smoke. “Trust me, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
Whiptail raised his eyebrow. “Why not? Dragons are strong, tough, and amazing. Why aren’t you proud to be a dragon?”
“Yeah… because nervous stares and whispers from ponies that might’ve even known you for years is pleasant,” Spike ranted, throwing his claws into the air.
“So there are some jerks out there. So what? Forget ‘em.”
“It’s not a few jerks. I’ve got self-righteous mares who get lauded for defending the town against the horrible dragons… entire crowds who stare at me when I show up.”
Spike pointed a claw at Whiptail. “But you know the worst part…” He let his claw down as his shoulders drooped. “I can hardly blame them. Every single dragon I’ve met has been a monster. Jerks who can’t handle not getting their way, animalistic feral dragons who would kill over a few stolen scraps, monsters who can’t even take a nap without endangering hundreds of lives.”
Spike looked away. “Greedy beasts who can’t tell friends from possessions anymore.”
He looked back at Whiptail, his gaze meeting Whiptail’s. “You wondered why I wasn’t proud of being a dragon? Dragons are monsters, and I don’t want to be a monster. That’s why I’m not proud of it.”
Whiptail looked back at Spike with pity in his eyes. “You can’t just… stop being what you are. If you can’t accept what you are you’ll never really be happy.”
Spike frowned and looked away.
“Besides, I’ve met another good dragon.”
Spike looked back in shock.
Whiptail was smirking again. “That’s right,” he said, his mirth returning. “I knew a great dragon. He wasn’t even you.”
Spike made a ‘go on’ motion.
The stallion puffed up his chest. “The great dragon Whiptail.”
Spike lowered his eyelids in a deadpan expression. “No.”
“Um…. what?”
“No. I refuse to believe that you’ve been some kind of dragon-in-disguise this whole time.”
“Oh… I…” Whiptail laughed. “No. Nononononono. That’s not what I mean at all. I’m not Whiptail the dragon. I was named for Whiptail the dragon.”
Spike’s jaw dropped.
Whiptail chuckled. “This would have been easier if I had introduced myself earlier.” He cleared his throat, stood up straight, looked Spike in the eye, and held out his hoof. “Whiptail Shoot, at your service.”
Spike looked at the proffered hoof dubiously. “You paraded me around all day.”
“To let you show off.”
“You constantly reminded me that I’m not a pony when we first met.”
“Because you’re not one, and you should be proud of that.”
“You didn’t leave me alone when I clearly walked away from you.”
“Because you were in a bad mood.”
“... You taunted me when I was angry. You attacked me with your magic lasso.”
Whiptail raised his eyebrow challengingly. “I didn’t know whether you were really dangerous or just frustrated. Confronting you was the best way to find out… besides it was fun.”
Spike pinched his muzzle with his claws. “I… could’ve seriously hurt you!”
Whiptail smirked. “But you didn’t. I think it went alright.”
“We both wound up arrested.”
“I didn’t say it went well.”
Spike sighed laboriously. “... You’ve seriously been trying to cheer me up this whole time?”
“More or less.”
“You’ve been doing a crummy job.”
Whiptail shrugged with a smile. “I was closin’ in on the right way to do it. I got you to smile about the fire, didn’t I?”
Spike sighed again. “Fine, let’s start over.” He balled up his fist and lightly tapped Whiptail’s hoof. “I’m Spike.”
Whiptail finally put his hoof back on the ground. “Nice to meetcha, Spike. Thanks for helpin’ me with my project here. I’ve been interested in dragons for a long, long time.”
“Yeah… you’re welcome.”
Whiptail trotted over to his notes. “Now, I know you thought we were done, but we aren’t. I wanted to get some strength tests.”
“Hmn… okay.” Spike stretched his arms. “Let’s do it.”
Spike’s muscles ached as he plodded back to the institute on all fours down the path through the wooded area. Whiptail, by contrast, was waiting ahead for Spike to catch up for the third time.
When Spike finally caught up, Whiptail said, “I think, overall, today went pretty well.”
“I think I’d care more if I wasn’t completely exhausted, and you would wait for me,” Spike groused.
Whiptail just laughed. “Sure!” He faced Spike and walked backwards. “Is this better?”
Spike furrowed his brow. “I guess.”
They walked in silence, Whiptail walking backwards, grinning at Spike the whole time, making eye contact.
Spike groaned. “You know you’re gonna trip, right?”
“Ha-ha,” he said sarcastically, hopping a bit and gesturing with his forehooves. “I don’t need to worry abo-ouou–” His hind leg got caught on a tiny rock and his forelegs left the ground. He stumbled back on his hind hooves, waving his forelegs in the air.
Spike’s eyes widened and he reached out with his claw only to find that Whiptail was just out of reach. He pushed his lethargic muscles a little, but Whiptail stumbled back right when Spike’s claw got close.
Spike reached out again, and again Whiptail stumbled away.
Spike glared at Whiptail, who swapped his uneasy expression with a cocky grin. Whiptail stumbled back one last time, leaning far back over and lifting his hooves over his head to connect with the ground.
He deftly flipped his hind legs over his body, landing squarely on all fours.
He closed his eyes in satisfaction. “–out me,” he finished matter-of-factly, and bowed.
Spike raised his eyebrow. “Really?”
Whiptail smirked and finally waited for Spike, turning around and joining him in walking quietly.
“So... you’re working here at the Office of Interdepartmental Research? The OIR? Hm…” Whiptail waggled his jaw back and forth, staring off into the distance. “O.I.R… Oyer.. Oh Ear? It doesn’t roll off the tongue really well.”
Spike shook his head and smiled, and summoned the papers identifying him as an employee for the institute with a puff of flame. “Yeah… as far as I know it doesn’t have a nickname.”
“Well it should! A good one too!” Whiptail twisted around back to Spike. “So what made you want to join that department instead of the F&F?”
Spike shrugged. “Nothing did. I just submitted an application and my credentials, and this is where I was offered a position.”
Whiptail cocked his head to the side and stared at Spike.
Spike blew flames over his identification papers, returning them to magical storage. Whiptail was still just staring at him. “... What?”
“That’s right!” Whiptail shouted.
Spike recoiled back slightly at Whiptail’s shout. “Um…”
Whiptail darted up to Spike, his eyes wide and his . “Fire and papers!”
Spike blinked once. “That doesn’t–”
Whiptail bounced in place. “You just did the thing where you produce paper from you fire, and I forgot to put it on the research proposal!”
“If you forgot… why are you excited?”
Whiptail glared in mock offense at Spike. “Because it’s exciting! How does your fire do that? I’ve never seen a dragon do anything of the sort!”
Spike chuckled. “I’ve been doing it for most of my life, so it’s not really that earth-shattering for me.”
Whiptail’s eyes got even wider. “Are you a special kind of dragon that has storage fire?”
Spike backed up. “What? No. It’s just a modification of a sending spell. The same sort a unicorn can use.”
Whiptail’s lips broke, showing a toothy smile. “You can use unicorn magic?!”
Spike frowned. “Not really, just that one spell.”
“Well, have you tried any more?”
“Uh… not really.”
Whiptail lept up to Spike, grabbing Spike’s face with his hooves and pressing his forehead to Spike’s, making maximum eye contact. “Why not?! This has huge implications on the nature of magic! What if all magic is the same kind of magic?!”
Spike pushed Whiptail off of him. “All magic is the same kind of magic.”
Whiptail cocked his head. “That’s common knowledge for dragons?”
“What? No, it’s common knowledge for–” ‘For ponies who knew Twilight... Well I can’t tell him that.’ “–why… Twilight Sparkle started the institute in the first place. To study magic, not ‘magic unicorns can use’ but… just magic.”
“Yeah, but different ponies use different types of magic.”
“It’s not really different types,” Spike replied. “I mean, unicorns have growing spells and cloudwalking spells, they’re just more difficult to use.”
Whiptail scoffed, and started walking down the path again. “Yeah, because unicorns horns are pretty versatile, but there is tons of stuff that earth ponies can do that unicorns wouldn’t be able to do because they have different kinds of magic.”
Spike walked alongside Whiptail. ‘He’s not on the side of unicorns?’ “It’s not that the magic is different, it’s that the magic is expressed differently. They use the same magic, or very similar magic, in different ways because their body is wired that way.”
Whiptail raised his eyebrow. “So what, you’re saying that an Earth Pony could fly?”
“Nah, but I bet if they figured out how they could walk on clouds….”
Spike and Whiptail continued their conversation as they headed back to the institute.
Spike stood in front of Blueblood’s office’s door, labeled with his name again. Even though the day wound up well, and Spike had been excited, he found anxiety cropping up as he hesitated to knock.
He took a deep breath to calm himself. ‘What the heck is this? It’s just Blueblood, and we’re just talking about… okay about the one thing I really came here to do, that I don’t have a solid idea how to do, and he’s expecting me to be an expert on.’
Spike sighed. ‘Great pep talk, Spike.’
Mustering his resolve, he knocked on the door, and received a muffled, “Come in.”
Inside his office, Blueblood appeared to be patiently waiting for Spike. “Good evening.”
“Hey,” Spike said.
Blueblood’s brow furrowed briefly, but returned before Spike could really react. He levitated a stack of papers to the seat set up in front of his desk. “Well, let’s get to it.”
“Yeah…” Spike took a seat at the table, and picked up the papers. The first had the words Procedures: Step 1 – Identify candidates printed at the top, followed by a large blank space, and midway down the page it read, Step 2 and had no other text. The next six had the Elements of Harmony’s names printed on the top. ‘He’s got… just about as little as I do.’
Blueblood looked expectantly at Spike. “So, where do we begin?”
Spike chuckled nervously and spread out the sheets on the desk. “Well… do you know anyone who’s particularly… any of these?”
“I…” Blueblood paused. “There are a few on my mind, but there must be more to it than that. What was your plan to find the Elements?”
“Yeah… I had a plan.” Spike said. “It was a–” Spike shifted uncomfortably, looking at the babules on Blueblood’s table. “–good plan, that was well thought out.” Spike waited.
“And… what was it?”
“Oh! Um… Well I was going to look for the Element of Magic first.”
Blueblood blinked. “And…” he gyrated his hoof, urging Spike on.
“And… I… thought that I’d find some others along the way and try to find them around the Element of Magic?”
“And… what are you looking for as the Element of Magic? Why did you come here?”
“Well… this is the densest gathering of magical ponies in the world.” Spike rubbed the back of his head. “So, I guessed if I was going to find the next Element this was the place to look.”
Blueblood’s eyelids drooped to half-mast. “So you don’t have much of a plan at all, do you?”
Spike drummed his claws lightly on Blueblood’s desk. “I was… still working it out.”
Blueblood groaned. “Were just… hoping that it came to you by accident?”
Spike shrank down. “I was hoping I’d work it out.”
Blueblood huffed and put his hoof to his forehead. “Hoping to work…” he muttered. He composed himself. “I was expecting a bit… more from you.”
Spike scrambled for an answer. “It’s not like it’s hopeless… I…” Spike produced a sheet of paper with his magic. “Why don’t we start at the beginning? That will give both of us a fresh perspective, and we’ll be sure to be on the same page.”
Blueblood put his hoof back on the table. “Yes… yes, let’s start from scratch.” He levitated out an ink well and a quill.
“Right!” Spike picked up the quill. “The very beginning: What are the Elements of Harmony?” he said, taking the question down.
Blueblood responded, “They are six magical artifacts that, while useless on their own, when their power is joined together with six bearers they can accomplish miraculous feats. Each, except for one, represents a significant harmonious virtue that the bearer must be superlative in.”
Spike wrote this down, but paused. “I don’t think there needs to be strictly six. Celestia and Luna did it with just the two of them. And Celestia did it alone.”
“And then they turned off for a thousand years. I think it’s safer if we assume that we’re going to need six ponies.”
“Right, play it safe.” Spike took the notes.
Blueblood nodded. “So… we’d be looking for the six ponies, of which we need the most honest, the most generous, the kindest, the most loyal, the… funniest?”
“Pinkie was funny… but not for the reason you think.” Spike smiled and looked up at Blueblood, stopping his notes. “She told jokes sometimes, but that wasn’t why she was the Element of Laughter. It’s more like her entire life was about laughter. About cheering up ponies, about telling them, no–showing them that they don’t have to be sad. She constantly threw parties, she was always trying to cheer someone up.”
Spike smiled fondly. “She didn’t just laugh, I mean there’s mocking laughter and all sorts of terrible ways to laugh, she shared laughter. It was her special talent, and it was her whole life.”
Blueblood tilted his head. “So… we need to find ponies whose special talents are related to the Elements?”
Spike shook his head. “No… Pinkie was the only one who had her talent directly relate to her Element. Fluttershy used her Element to be better at her talent, and Rarity used generosity to forward her career but… Applejack and Rainbow Dash just lived with those virtues. They didn’t really focus on them or use them in their jobs, although it definitely affected their lives.”
“What about Twilight?” Blueblood asked.
Spike’s smile turned wistful. “Twilight’s cutie mark was for magic… but the magic of the Element of Magic is more than just about the power of a unicorn’s horn.”
Blueblood ears perked up. “It is?”
Spike nodded slightly. “She brought the girls together and led them, but even then it didn’t activate until she realized how important those around her were. Every step of the way, it was the power of her friends that helped her along. The power of the magic of friendship is what saved Equestria time and time again, and eventually that same thing is what made her a princess.”
Blueblood furrowed his brow. “So we’re looking for the friendliest pony?”
Spike shook his head. “Twilight was… more than even that. She brought the girls together, and even when she didn’t realize how important friendship was she was driven to do good. When she found out that Nightmare Moon was coming back, she immediately set to solving the problem, even if it was an impossible problem. But she was a mare that could do the impossible.”
Spike’s eyes stung. “She was always looking out for others. She was a fantastic friend–” He sat back in his seat and tried to blink something out of his eyes “–and always willing to help.”
Spike’s voice cracked and he leaned his head back, looking at the ceiling. “…Celestia told me, years later that Twilight didn’t have to take me in as her assistant. Celestia didn’t want to force her to take care of me if she wasn’t ready for or had no desire to, but Twilight never even questioned that if I wanted to help her she wanted my help.” He choked back a sob. “Even when I was a burden, turning into a huge dragon and wrecking the town, running away to meet other dragons who just turned out to be jerks, ruining books and ceremonies and all the stupid clumsy stuff I’ve done over the years she was always there for me, even if I didn’t know I needed her.”
Spike closed his eyes, and he could feel tears streaming down his face. ‘Dammit, Spike. Pull yourself together.’ He breathed deeply, and tried to unobviously wipe his face.
He brought his face back down to Blueblood’s. “Twilight was just… good. Pure and completely good.”
Blueblood smiled faintly. “She really was good. She was the best.”
Spike returned the smile.
Blueblood enveloped Spike’s notes in a blue aura, and began to levitate them over to himself. “Why don’t we continue this in a few days?”
Spike slammed his claw onto the paper, breaking the aura. “B-but, we haven’t gotten anywhere, and we shouldn’t stop just because I’m getting a little emotional. The fate of Equestria hangs in the balance.”
Blueblood gave Spike a confused look and then paused, thinking. “How about this? The Element of Magic needs to be a powerful unicorn, right?”
Spike nodded.
“I will try to secure a list of the most powerful, and when we meet again we can start discussing the merits of them.”
Spike frowned. “That’s it? There must be more.”
“We can discuss the other Elements later… but you had a single potential Magician, right?”
Spike nodded eagerly. “Yeah… yeah! I can spend some time looking up information on Xenon Shine, then!”
“Yes. Discreetly observing Xenon Shine might be a good idea.”
Spike puffed out his chest a bit. “Great, I can be totally discreet. Most ponies don’t even want me to be around.”
Blueblood blinked at Spike.
Spike smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s a joke… because I’m a scary dragon?”
“... That’s a good point. You are fairly visible, as a dragon.”
Spike’s smile fell.
Blueblood rubbed his chin. “As something unusual you will always be unusual, so your behavior may be scrutinized… perhaps you could make the excuse that you are observing how ponies interact?”
Spike squirmed a little. “I could probably do that… I’m not very good at lying.”
Blueblood tilted his head. “But… This is Twilight’s own institute. You should be highly respected for your position and relationship with her.”
Spike chuckled nervously. “No… I don’t really want it to be spread around. It’s just… easier that way.”
“I see,” Blueblood said reluctantly. “Well!” He perked up. “It works out in our favor, so that’s perfectly fine.”
“Y-yeah.”
“So–” Blueblood trotted out from behind his desk. “–Now that we both have something productive to do let’s be off.”
They rode the lift down, left the mostly empty library behind, and said their farewells at the s Spike walked out, the guardsmare’s helmet clearly rotated to keep him in view. Spike fought to not roll his eyes or glare at her.
‘Just cool your jets, Spike. Blueblood’s right, I’m going to be treated like I’m exceptional, especially before I am a normal thing to see in the institute. I can’t take it personally, or I’ll wind up having situations like with Whiptail my whole life.’
Spike smiled a broad cheeky smile and raised his eyebrow at the guardsmare, who snapped her head back to forward.
His smile became genuine. ‘Ha. Maybe Whiptail’s got the right idea on how to deal with a little attitude. Certainly feels good.’
Spike set off back to his apartment, whistling softly, and not looking back at the guardsmare, whose helmet immediately snapped back to watch Spike walk off, then pulled out a notepad and made a quick note.