For a while, Twilight and I just sat on the floor, embraced. She broke the hug and said that she had to go. We said our goodbyes and she left. Now that I was alone, I had a lot of questions spinning inside my head and I was getting to the point where I was just afraid. Afraid of what, you say? I didn't know at the time. I was still a youngster, so I didn't fully understand love just yet. I thought I had it all figured out, but in reality, I was far from understanding it.
As more questions came from the depths of my mind, I suddenly found myself stuck and confused. It was getting to the point where it was driving me insane. I was over the edge and I was very close into falling into the depths of insanity. Then, a question that stood above all the rest came into mind.
What if our love...isn't real?
A Princess' Sadness
Chapter 7-1
"It's an unexplainable feeling, an expression. It's a touch, it's a feel. Once you feel it, it's like no other thing in the world."
-Snoop Dogg
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out. Where did THAT come from? Of course I love Twilight! ...Or wait...do I?
I pushed that aside for now and started thinking of other matters.
Is it really her fault or mine? Maybe it's both our fault that this happened? I don't know why they keep telling me it's not my fault. It is. Well...mostly. If I hadn't have reacted that way, then MAYBE this whole thing wouldn't have happened.
Then I thought back to what Twilight said those weeks ago when I was at the castle.
What caused her to feel that way? 'You don't like me anymore because of what I said.'? What is that supposed to mean? Maybe she didn't mean that. She was probably confused and had terrible thoughts going through her head...like me dying before her.
I deeply thought about those last words.
I need to talk to her about that. I don't think I had the chance to do so. ...It could be why she's so freaking stressed out.
I then thought of the night with Rarity.
Why? Why did I do that?! You know what? I deserve her screaming at me for that. I can't blame her for being mad at Rarity and I. Though...it was nice. I actually feel like a big chunk of my stress was lifted after that. Probably why I crashed as soon as I had that orgasm. Eh, I don't know. All I know is that it was wrong for me to do that.
Now, back to the matter at hand. If Twilight IS going to live longer than me, then she's going to outlive...her...friends...
Right then and there, something clicked. My eyes grew wide and I stood up because of that realization.
Oh my god...not only is she worried about me dying before her, but she's also worried about outliving her friends. Why didn't I think of that?! I have to find her friends. Now.
I knocked on Luna's door.
"Hey, Lulu! Is Twi's friends here or not?"
"Um...I think they arrived not too long after your talk with Shining ended. They might be in Twi's room."
"Thank you!"
I immediately ran to my destination. I had to hurry, because I might not have another chance of doing this.
The Mane 6
I arrive not that long after Luna informed me of the rest of the Mane 6's arrival. I knew Rarity was here, but I didn't know if the rest of them would be here. I heard chatter in Twi's room. I knocked on the door and it fell completely silent.
"If that's Daniel, then go away." Rainbow Dash yelled.
"I need to talk to you guys about something critically important! Can I please come in?"
"Dash, open the dang door for the guy, for Celestia's sake!" Rarity yelled.
"Why?!"
"Because if you don't, then I'll bust down the door! Now let me in."
Silence then overcame the room. I hear a irritated grunt from Dash and she finally allows me to enter. I get a very nasty glare from her, and I didn't comment on it.
"I deserve that look. After all, it's my fault."
"It really isn't your fault-"
"No, it IS my fault, Twi! I've made so many terrible excuses for my bad behavior and I don't deserve you, I don't deserve your friends' support and I don't deserve anything after what I did! So, basically, I screwed up and I need to deal with it."
A short silence overcame the room once again.
"Well...at least you admit that you screwed up...so I guess you can have A BIT of respect from us, but don't take that lightly, you jerk!" Dash sat down on the floor. "Now, why are you here? What's so important that you need to talk to Twilight about?"
"Ask her." I said.
They all looked at Twilight and her head just droops. Tears start to fall down from her eyes onto her bed. I crawl onto her bed and wrapped my arm around her.
"I guess I should tell you all."
"Fer pete's sake, spit it out!" Applejack said impatiently.
I hesitate for a minute and took a deep breath.
"...Twilight is afraid that she'll outlive us."
Gasps filled the room and they all forgot they're anger towards me and looked at Twilight in shock.
"Twi...is this true, darling?" Rarity sadly asked.
Twilight looked up with tears in her eyes and slowly nodded. She begins sniffling and embraces me softly.
"This is why I came here, because I knew she wouldn't be able to talk about it. She's afraid to do so. She...also doesn't want to be...a princess anymore."
The girls gave me a confused look when I said that.
"Why?" Dash asked.
"...It's too stressful for me, Rainbow! I mean, at first, it wasn't that bad, but then, as time progressed, it just became more and more stressful. The more info that I discovered, more questions came into mind. It was just this one question that stood above the rest of them and that's what brought me down immensely. Thank Celestia that you came over that day, Danny. I really..."
Twilight then seemed to remember what she said to me that day. Her head droops a little and looks very guilty.
"...Girls? Do you think that Dan and I can talk alone? Please?"
They all hesitated, but reluctantly nodded in agreement and went outside. Now, we were alone, in the same room that started everything.
Twilight closed the door with her magic and broke her soft embrace to look at me.
"Listen...about what I said to you. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"It's okay. I should also apologize to you too. I never should have left you that day. Oh and...about Rarity and I...that was a-"
Twilight put a hoof on my lips. She gave me a smile and I smiled back at her.
"I know. It was a one-time thing. I have to apologize about earlier too. I overreacted. I wasn't thinking straight."
"It's alright."
For a few moments, there was silence.
"So...Dan..."
"Yeah?"
"...Do you think that we'll really last?"
I sort of was expecting this question, and I had to answer it, because there's no way I was going to avoid it for long.
"...Honestly, I don't know. We're not even the same species...and I'm not saying that we won't last because of it, but at the same time...dating a species that looks completely different from your own...it just seems-"
"Weird?" Twilight asked.
I look at her before continuing. "...Yeah. It shouldn't matter though, that's the thing. However...I don't think it'll be socially acceptable."
"Why? Why should you and I care about what other ponies think of us?" Twilight put her hoof on my hand. "Right now, all I care about is getting this situation sorted...and for my brother not to be such a jerk."
"Your brother a jerk?"
"He's been calling you some pretty nasty names. They're on par with Blueblood's insults, and we know how that turned out, right?" I just shook my head and grunted. "But listen to me, okay? Shining doesn't mean ANYTHING that he says about you. He likes you, he really does. He's not angry at you...okay he's a little angry at you, but he's mostly disappointed at you...and also at me. We both shouldn't have done the things that we did and we shouldn't have said the things that we've said to each other. I just...can't help but feel that it's mostly my fault. I was the one that started this whole ordeal...and I'm the one that caused you to leave."
"You didn't cause me to leave. I made that choice and I need to accept that I basically fucked up, okay? You need to stop blaming this all on yourself. WE, the both of us, are responsible for this situation starting. I never should've left, and I'm still calling myself an idiot for doing so." I sighed. "...That's why I do want to make this work." Twilight's ears perked up and her eyes widened. "I can't fight with another girl that I love so much...but I don't know if the love is real or not. That's the thing with love. It's confusing as hell and it's also frustrating. Love...can break a friendship apart, and I don't want that. If this love is real, Twi, then I want it to work. But...if it isn't...then I don't know what we'll do. I don't know what I'll do. I don't know if I'll ever feel love after losing Ashley. I...just don't know what to do."
"Is it...something that I have to figure out...or do I need guidance? It's so freaking confusing!" I yell. "It's why I HATE love...but at the same time...it's the most wonderful thing in the world." I look at Twilight with tears running down my eyes. "Twi...I'm so sorry for leaving you that day. I'm sorry for leaving you in the dark for all those weeks. I'm sorry that I'm probably the worst friend you've ever had. I'm sorry for the bullshit and all the excuses that I came up with to hide the truth from myself. I'm sorry...I-I'm just...s-so sorry...t-that I hurt you more."
The water dam broke down and the tears came down like Niagara Falls. I was now crying my eyes out. It felt like me crying when I found out Ashley died, but...it felt much worse than that. I could physically feel the pain that was being lifted deep within my heart. All the pain that I had to go through all my life and all the suffering were being released and I was letting it all out. I hugged Twilight tightly and she hugged me back.
However...this was just the beginning. What happens next will confirm that this was the worst day of my life.