A Princess's Sadness

by FellFour

Chapter 6

As I wait for somepony else to arrive in the throne room, I couldn't help but think over the events that happened for the last couple of weeks. I finally realized something that I have failed to see all along and I still feel stupid to this very day for not seeing it.

...I'm so STUPID! I began thinking to myself. How could I have not seen this?! It isn't Blueblood's fault. It wasn't Twilight's fault, either. This whole thing is my fault! My behavior over these past few weeks have been so childish. I should never have reacted that way towards Blueblood, Luna, Celestia, or Twilight! My god, especially Shining! What did I have to yell like that! ...This isn't me. This isn't who I am, at all! I never made excuses for my behavior in the past, so why am I making them now?! God...I feel like a big jerk right now. I need to set things right. I can't rely on anybody to help with things like this. I need to do this on my own. I feel like this is the only way to do this. I'm smarter than this. What the hell is wrong with me?! Am I...becoming like my dad in a way? No, that can't be it. Why would I become like my dad? Mom told me that he made so many excuses for HIS temper tantrums! I don't want to become like him. Has...has his illness been transferred to me? No...no that can't be it. There's no way. I wasn't like this before, so why am I like this now?! Why do I keep asking myself these stupid questions?

Man, how long has it been since Shining left? It's been a pretty long time...either that or I'm just getting really impatient.

I check the time...but my watch doesn't work anymore. It's funny, I actually forgot about my watch until at that moment. It's strange.

I then hear the sound of hoofs coming towards my direction. I look to see who it is and...it's Celestia. That kind of surprised me. I thought I was going to talk to Cadence next.

"Cadence decided to talk to you later. She not very happy with you, Daniel...neither am I. We have a lot to talk about, so it's going to be a while." Celestia began. "...I'm very disappointed in you. ...But I'm also proud. I heard your thoughts. I'm glad that you've opened your eyes to what you've really done. You really hurt us, Danny...especially Lulu and Twilight. Why did you react the way you did towards my nephew. I understand that he got on your nerves, but attacking him? That's down-right immature and childish. I know that you realized this, but you better listen to me good, Daniel Lee Harrington. This isn't you, at all. Ever since that day when you came to the castle to comfort Twilight, things started to get out of control for you. Your behavior, your personality, everything about you is starting to decay and I don't want that to happen to you."

"You have to think; what would Ashley think of this? I might have an-"

"Stop."

"No, I won't. Look, I'm sorry that I went there with you, but I had to. I need you to really open your eyes and see what you're doing to yourself. You're better than this and Twilight has even said this to me while you and Shining were in the throne room. Twilight loves you so much. Neither of us don't want to see you become an angry and bitter man. You need to make some changes and you need to make them now."

Celestia stepped closer to me and sat down next to me. She took a deep breath and continued.

"You have a new family now, Daniel. You have us now. All of us care about you so much and we want to help you become a better person. We just need you to just accept our friendship."

"What are you talking about? I already have." I said, looking at her with confusion.

"Not entirely. You aren't letting us help you." Celestia continued, starting to cry. "And...I don't think you know this, but...Luna loves you as if you're her child, Danny...as do I. I haven't seen her cry this much in a very long time. Do you have any idea how much you hurt her feelings when you sent that response?! DO YOU?! You hurt her so badly. That's why she isn't here. She's up in her room, crying herself to sleep. I really hope this says something to you." Celestia said, crying.

She then storms out of the throne room and slams the two doors. She left me and...I was alone with my thoughts again. The amount of guilt I was feeling at that moment will still haunt me. I was powerless at that moment. I couldn't move. I felt hot tears rolling down my face...but I wiped them off.

I was sick of crying. I was angry...at myself. I knew then...that I had to make things right. I messed up badly and I had to pick the broken pieces and put them back together. I've had enough. I had to go talk to Luna...alone. When I finally calmed down, I made my way towards the two doors that leads out of the throne room, but something stopped me. I felt a presence. It was a few inches away from me. This energy I was feeling...it felt sad. I couldn't describe it. It was so powerful. I turned around to see what the source of this energy was. What I saw broke me.

"...Ashley?" I managed to speak out. "...Ashley, what's the matter, sweetheart?"

"..."

She didn't respond. She just...looked at me with tears running down her eyes. I moved closer to her. As I did, I felt the energy getting more powerful and more severe. Something was telling me to stop, but I couldn't. I had to know what was wrong.

"...Ashley...what's the matter?"

"..."

"Ashley, sweetheart, you need to talk to me. You came to me for a reason...so what's wrong?"

"...Why?"

"Why what, honey?" I asked.

"Why did you do that to her? This isn't you, Dan. I know you better than anybody. This isn't you at all! Why are you being this way? I thought you were a good guy!" She said as her sobs got louder.

"No, I AM a good guy, sweetie." I began, embracing her. "It's just...a lot of things are going on right now that's what Celestia was talking to me about. She wants me to change and be back to my normal self again. Don't think for a second that I'm not the person that you thought I was. I'm still the Daniel that you knew before you died and always will be. I WILL make things right, Ashley. Don't cry. It's going to be alright! I promise that I'll never give up on Twilight."

"...You really promise?" Ashley asked, still crying.

"Yes! I truly promise. Now Ssh, wipe those tears. It'll be alright." I said in a soothing voice.

We remain embraced until Ashley had to go. I felt her touch slowly disappearing. When she was about to do so, she kissed me and told me that she loves me. My heart still ached for her to come back, but I knew she wouldn't. I accepted that fact and moved on. I didn't want to waste any more time than I already have and head to Luna's room.

As I was making my way towards Luna's room, I suddenly felt a serious case of Déjà vu. I couldn't help but chuckle at that. It just feels like I'm doing the same thing again, but it was Luna this time and it was just as serious as when Twilight was in that situation. However...this was going to be a lot harder for me. This is Lulu we're talking about. It's going to be harder for me to be able to calm her down. I might have to stay in there for a long time, possibly for the rest of the day and for the whole night.

I get to her room and there was a note on the front.

No need to knock, Daniel. Just let yourself in.

I still knocked and let myself in. Luna was sniffling. She turned around and gave a small grin.

"Didn't I say you didn't have to knock?"

"Sorry. I just feel that it's rude to not knock when you're entering somepony's room without knocking." I said.

Luna giggled a bit and turned back around, facing the window. She was laying down in her bed. I closed her door and made my way to her. I sat next to her and held her hoof. Tears started to run down her already bloodshot red eyes.

"...I'm so sorry about what I said to you in the second letter that I sent to you. I didn't mean a single word that I said."

Luna's smile turned into a frown. She sat up and looked down on the floor.

"...You really hurt me, Daniel. Do you honestly expect that just saying 'I'm sorry' is going to cover it?" Luna asked, looking at me with teary eyes and an angry look.

"No...no I don't and I don't blame you for being heartbroken. It's my fault and I deserve whatever scolding you'll give me." I began. "I talked with your sister...and somepony else. They really opened my eyes and I now see what I've truly done and what I've been doing. I've been making so many excuses for my behavior and been pointing fingers at my friends and family, saying that it's their fault for my reaction to Blueblood and my reaction to what Twilight suddenly said to me a couple weeks ago. I don't think that I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what I've done. So, yeah, I did that and now...I just need to get over it. As much as I wish that I could go back to the past and change what I've done, I can't. What's done is done. There isn't much I can do now...except try to fix this."

"I think you've done just about enough, Daniel. Leave." Luna said, using her magic to open the door.

"...No."

"LEAVE!" Luna screamed, using her booming voice.

"...No. I'm not leaving. I promised that somepony that I would make things right with you and I'm not leaving until that happens. Get over it." I said, giving her a serious look in my eyes.

Luna sighed and looked at me with a sad frown.

"Daniel, look, I appreciate it. Believe me, I do. I do want to talk to you, but I can't right now. All I require is some time to gather my thoughts. That is all I'm asking for. Please?"

I gave a sigh and looked at her. She was giving me those puppy dog eyes and I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"...Alright. Open the door when you're ready, okay?"

"Okay."

I was just about to walk out the door when...

"Oh, and Daniel?"

I turn to look at her.

"I didn't mean what I said; 'I think you've done enough'. That was just out of anger. I apologize."

"It's okay. It happens." I said, giving her a smile. I walk back out into the hallway and close the door behind me. I started to go into my thoughts, but was interrupted by the feeling of a hoof on my leg. I look down to see Rarity. I actually forgot that she came with Twilight and I to Canterlot. She wasn't the way she usually is when she sees me. She actually started to talk to me.

"...Hi darling."

"...Hey." I said, feeling a bit awkward. Rarity sat down next to me, putting her head on my shoulder.

"...Listen...there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about." she began. "I'm really sorry for the way I've behaving around you. I was-"

"On heat?"

"...Yeah. I'm...very sorry. I kind of lose control of myself around stallions. But when you first met my eyesight, I lost all control of myself and I just...wanted you so badly. Again, I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay. At least I satisfied you, right?"

Rarity blushed and giggled. "That you did do. Thank you for that."

"You're welcome. Now you know about the human anatomy." I said, laughing.

Rarity joined in, but stopped when she went pale. I turned in her direction and I froze. Twilight was standing on the other side of the hallway, having a confused look on her face. Those eyes of hers told me that she heard everything that we said. I couldn't move or take my eyes off of Twilight. I didn't know what she was going to do. Then...she started walking towards us. I prepared myself for the worst that was to come. I could already imagine it. Rarity and Twilight would get into a fight, kind of like a cat fight with girls back in my world. They fight and then make out. Rarity slowly goes down on Twilight and she then when she gets to the prize, she then sticks her tongue out and-

WHOA WHOA WHOA! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?! I NEED TO CALM DOWN! I screamed to myself in my thoughts.

"So...you two...did THAT, huh?" Twilight began. "So, DANIEL, when did this event happen? Mind telling me the freaking details of that night, huh?"

Oh boy...

"It was before we got together. It wasn't anything passionate. It was just a one-time thing. That's all. I wouldn't cheat on you, Twi. Come on, you know me better than that!" I said, giving a look that said 'Are you kidding me?'

"...Rarity...do you mind?"

"Yeah, I should get going. Bye Twi...and sorry for getting you roped into this awkward situation, Daniel." Rarity said, giving me a look that said 'whoops'. Rarity was gone in a snap. One second she's there and then the next second, POOF, she's gone. Twilight sat next to me and we just looked at each other.

...So how was she?

I gave her a confused look.

Don't play dumb with me, mister. You know what I'm talking about. Now, answer the question.

...Eh. I've had better. Like I said, one-time thing.

You sure about that? How do you know you won't go and fuck her again? Twilight gave me an angry look at that point. She wasn't very happy with me.

Why are you angry at me?

WHY AM I ANGRY? DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST ASK THAT QUESTION, DANIEL HARRINGTON?! YOU HAD SEX WITH ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS AND YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO GET ANGRY?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

It was before you and I got together. I was going to tell you at some point, but then you happened to come along and just so happened to be hearing over our conversation. She even wanted me to tell you. I was actually going to tell you today!

Oh, don't even give me that, mister! You're only saying that because you got caught. UGH, I'M SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW!

It's true! I was really going to tell you today! Celestia talked to me and she wants me to change and go back to my normal self and, basically, tell you anything that I'm not telling you and that was that one thing that I didn't tell you about! I know it was a really dumb decision, but Jesus Christ, Twi, stop acting like such a drama queen. I don't understand why you have to be so angry. It's not like I did it to purposely piss you off! I would never do that to you. EVER. Why are you acting like this? Are you...are you jealous?

No!

THEN WHAT IS IT?!

I didn't get a response after that. I looked at her with worry. Then, I realized something.

...Is there something that you're not telling me?

...Yes.

My eyes widened.

Then talk to me. What's wrong?

Daniel...I had a relationship with...a stallion before you and I met. In fact, this was before you came to Equestria. I can't remember his name, but what I do remember is the fights that we had on the first four months of us being together. The first couple of weeks were going so well...but then he changed. He wasn't...him anymore. He was somepony else. That's when...the abuse started.

You...were abused?

...Yeah. I was...emotionally abused. He never laid a hoof on me...until...the last day we were together. We...got into an extremely heated fight. Spike was out running some errands. That was the perfect opportunity for him to tell me everything he's done behind my back. He cheated on me with three mares and said he felt no guilt. I lost it. I was so angry. I screamed at him for hours and I finally pushed him to the door. I wanted him out of my life. That...when he hit me. Oh Faust...the pain. It hurt so much. I instantly froze and looked up at him. I was so scared. I didn't even move because I was afraid that he would hit me again. I just stared at him, with tears falling down my cheeks like a waterfall. As soon as he saw my tears, he lost it. I can't even describe how much pain I had to endure during that time. Oh Daniel, he beat the crap out of me. I was so helpless. I couldn't even use my magic because of the trauma and fear. I went blank. The only thing I did was try to fight back. It went on for over an hour. I was beaten to a pulp. I felt so broken. So...weak. He was still kicking my sides...and then the door opened. He froze and went pale instantly. I looked at who entered. It was Macintosh and Applejack. AJ was carrying a package for me that I was supposed to receive from her earlier that day. She forgot to give to me, so she came over and was supposed to just drop it off on my door and leave. I whimpered and crawled to them. My ex then realized what I was doing and he stomped on my hoof. I screamed so loud. Macintosh dropped everything that he had and charged at him at a speed that I didn't think he would accomplish. Macintosh was beating the crap out of him, Dan. I've never seen Mac so angry before. After he finally got tired of fighting, he looked at me. He was still mad, but he immediately picked me up with not trouble at all and quickly took me to the hospital. When I got there, I fell unconscious. When I woke up, Shining was laying next to me. He had me embraced and was such a wreck. He was up all night, begging for me not to die. I was in a bad condition when I was taken to the hospital. I had bruises all over my stomach, both of my eyes were black and I couldn't speak. I could only speak telepathically to my friends. When I cried, it hurt. When I walked, it hurt. When I even tried to lay down, it hurt.

It was the worst experience in my life. I don't want you to be like him, Danny. Please don't be like him. Please...

Twilight then started sobbing again, just like when this all started. I picked her up, put her on my lap and embraced her, hoping to comfort her in some way. Right then and there, I realized what I have truly done to the love of my life and I felt like an asshole for not realizing the extent of her sadness.

Twi...I'm so sorry.