“Okay, wait up,” Grumpy paused for effect before continuing. “You’re telling me you tried to kill yourself, and then you’re setting all your dreams on bucking FIRE! And the worst hasn’t happened yet? What next, Equine Spongiform Encephalopathy?”
Joystick snickered, failing horribly to contain her laughter. “No, that’d be a certain bubblegum pink pony we all know.”
The whole room, with the exception of Fluttershy, were rolling. Fluttershy crossed her forelegs in front of herself and glowered.
“She may be silly, but she’s my friend, you know.”
Harmony Muse hung her head apologetically. “Sorry, Flutters. I know she’s good ponies, all of Ponyville does. Anyway, I was getting to where things started to go downhill for me, and badly.”
______________________________________________________________________________
“It was Graduation Day and everypony was in their cap and gown. All of our parents were there. I saw mine sitting next to Sketch’s as I climbed the podium and took my diploma. My knees were shaking as I took note of that because Sketch’s folks knew me both as Anthem and Harmony.
“I got through my speech well enough. Humorously enough I spoke about being true to yourself, and never losing sight of the real you. Sketch helped me write it, obviously,” Harmony rolled her eyes as Sketch snickered. “As much as I was dreading that moment, the speech actually went fairly well. The family meetup afterwards, well…
______________________________________________________________________________
‘Anthem’ stood next to her closest friend in the world, her face blank, almost lifeless. Staring down at her, his golden armor gleaming in the sunlight, was her father Quicktime March.
“Anthem!” The muscular pony said, heartily slapping Harmony on the withers. “You went and proved yourself the better of all these ponies. Not only that, but you managed to tame this fine piece of mare.” Quicktime didn’t see it, but both ponies stiffened thoroughly disgusted at the praise.
“Uh, th-thank you, father.” Harmony stammered.
The larger pony’s smile faded just a slight before returning in full force, “Oh come on, you’re a March Stallion! Speak your words with authority!”
Anthem bit back bile and shouted, “Yes, SIR!”
“Yes, that’s more like it! Now, I’ve been putting thought into this colt, and I finally think you’re ready. You’ve proven yourself over everypony here, but do you have the spine for a real stallion’s work?” Quicktime reached into a saddlebag and pulled out a very fancy looking scroll of parchment. A scroll he had to lift out of the reach of his suddenly furious wife.
“QUICKTIME!!”
“Peace, dear,” he said in a failed attempt to sooth the mare Harmony only knew as ‘Mom’, “We agreed that if the colt had proven himself...”
“We agreed to let it be his decision!”
Harmony stared confusedly at the pair. She had a sinking feeling her life was about to get far worse very quickly. Ultimately they came to a decision that neither of them seemed happy with.
Quicktime turned his attention back to the navy Pegasus. “Read this. You have until the end of the day to give us your decision.” He said crisply, turning on a hoof. His wife not far behind, paused only to glance at Harmony apologetically.
Harmony unrolled the fancy scroll and all color faded from her face.
__________________________________________________________________________
HERE LET IT BE KNOWN,
Under the grace of the twin Princesses the Pegasus known as Anthem March has been accepted into the Royal Guard Officers Training Corps. The Recruit, upon successful completion of his training, is to be given full Commission into the Night Princess’s Guard at the rank of Lieutenant.
Training begins on the Summer Solstice. Arrive promptly or not at all.
Signed,
Shining Armor
“Road apples.” Was all Harmony could bring herself to say.
“Oh buck up, sis.” Harmony found herself in Sketch’s hooves. “You know how easy it would be to just say no. Tell him just where to stick that letter.”
“Yeah.. yeah I know. That’d be the right thing to do, but…”
Sketch backed up. “Oh no. You are not about to say what think you are, are you?”
“Sis. I’m sorry.” Harmony’s head hung low, unwilling to meet her best friend’s gaze. “But...All my life -- over two decades now -- I’ve done everything to try and earn that stallion’s respect, and now this? I don’t feel right just turning this down. Not after what it must cost him to do this.”
“So. That’s. It. Then?“ Sketch’s face twisted itself up in anger as they punctuated each word with a loud stamp. “You’re going to give up everything? Walk away from everything we did together, to live a lie? All for what? Glory from the upper crust? Approval from an abusive bucking worthless waste of hooves?” With each pointed question she edged closer with a stomping hoof and a heated snort until the two were nose-to-nose.
“No.. No” Harmony quailed, flinching with each stamp. “That’s not it at all.”
“Then WHY?!?”
“Maybe there’s part of me that wants to try one last time to be a proper Stallion.”
Sketch’s face was emotionless, unreadable. “I just hope that when the time comes, someone else is going to be there to catch you. Even if I did approve of this, which I don’t, I can’t join you in this.”
Harmony nodded, and gave her BFF one last hug before walking off to render her answer.
______________________________________________________________________________
“I won’t lie. That time at the Academy was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Most of the other hopefuls had been training from foalhood for this chance. There was many times where I wanted to just drop out, give up, and go home. My father and his reputation only set the bar even higher.
“Everybody expected ‘great things’ from the hero’s son. And every time I didn’t quite finish a chin-up, or didn’t have my bunk spotless drew jeers from the rest of the training cadre. More than once I found myself on the wrong end of a blanket party.” Lizzybell winced. “Sure it hurt, but early on I had an epiphany.”
“Nothing these ponies did to me affected who I was. They could wound my pride, injure my body, but they couldn’t break my spirit.” Muse had a determined glint in her eye. “On the contrary. Every jeer, every taunt, every pile of manure left in my boot made me angry. I wanted to succeed just to shove it in these jerks’ faces.
“And I did. I used that anger as a focus and poured myself into martial training. This may sound silly.” Harmony grinned. “But there’s a certain beauty in hoof-to-hoof combat. Think of it like a dance, admittedly a potentially lethal one. Er...Well there were the dance lessons, too. Palace guard and decorum and all that.”
“I guess the beauty I found on the sparring ground ruined it for me. More than once while humbling one of my former bullies with hoof and sword, I imagined myself like a knight from the old days. A knight named Harmony Muse..” Harmony buried her face in her hooves for a few moments.
___________________________________________________________________________
It was the night of graduation. Lieutenant “Anthem March” stared into the mirror of their new private quarters; clad in deep purple armor; rank prominent on their helm. They looked every bit the proud Royal guard. Unobservant eyes, however, would not have seen the carefully applied makeup on the pony’s face.
Deep down Harmony knew that living as a stallion was a lie. Even if the whole world saw her as the gallant Anthem March, under that armor beat the heart of a mare. Still, she feared what her family would think. What the Princesses would do if she were discovered. ‘NO. This is how it has to be.’ Harmony thought to herself. Only in these precious moments, locked away from everybody, could she truly be herself.
She moved away from the mirror to start removing her makeup when she felt a metal-shod hoof strike her swear in the jaw, knocking her to the the ground. Looking up, she saw the very epitome of white hot rage.
“Worthless!” A hoof struck Harmony across the face. “Traitor!” Followed by another. “Ingrate!” Two powerful hind legs bucked Harmony across the room. “I raised you! Fed you! Welcomed you into this calling of HONOR, and this is how you repay me!?”
“F-father...” Harmony’s hoof shot up to her cracked muzzle. The pain was like lightning bolts arcing through her jaw. Still she forced herself to speak.
“No colt-cuddling weakling has the right to call himself my son!” Quicktime kicked his child in the ribs. Harmony could hear her father’s voice reverberating in the fine marble of the Officer’s Quarters wing of the castle. The sound made Harmony’s heart sink.
“But that’s the point, isn’t it?” She said, grinning up at her father defiantly, “I’m not your son, and you were never my father!” She had to steel herself against the pain of speaking, but it didn’t matter now. If this was going to be the end for her, she would face the end defiantly.
“Why you disrespectful little worm! “ The gold-armored pony drew his sword with a wild gleam in his eye. “I’m going to do what I should have done the moment you were born!” He raised the blade to strike, but the blow never fell.
At that very moment, a tan mare wearing a black “Security Pony” foreleg-band galloped into the room. With a swift movement, she had the larger pegasus on the ground with his foreleg pulled roughly behind him. “Alright, we’ve heard quite enough of that.”
Other ponies quickly came into the room behind the tan mare. Making quick work of putting Harmony’s father into chains they escorted the enraged warrior pony away. The tan mare waited until the others left and helped Harmony to her feet.
“Get yourself cleaned up. Commander Armor wants to see you in his office.”
_____________________________________________________________________________
“Oh, yeah.” Lizzybell mused from behind her notebook. “I remember that night.”
Harmony gaped at Lizzybell, “That was YOU?”
“It’s only natural you didn’t remember me, after all. At the time it was just another call. Someone makes a lot of noise and we’re sent in. Our first proper meeting was at the Equestria Battle Games. I seem to remember a certain somepony was very forward. Mare to mare, as it were.”
Harmony’s only response was to blush.
_____________________________________________________________________________
Harmony splashed water on her face, trying to clean it up as best she could. Her muzzle was pretty beat up and her jaw was swollen, but there was no helping that. Dread and determination warred within her as she came to a stop in front of Commander Shining Armor’s office.
“Lieutenant Harmony Muse.” A white Unicorn, whose bearing was that of both great strength of will and gentleness of spirit rose from his seat. Harmony instinctively saluted. “Please enter.” Shining returned the salute.
‘Wait. Did he say HARMONY? ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap’ Harmony’s thoughts were a litany of panic as she entered the room. Still, she did her best to maintain composure. “Sir?”
To his benefit, Shining Armor gave a gentle smile. “Relax, miss. Didn’t you think we’d do a thorough background check on any pony potentially being allowed to safeguard the Princesses’ lives? I knew about your double life before I even signed that scroll.”
“But Sir, why?” The revelation hit Harmony like a jackhammer. She’d expected to be ceremonially stripped of rank, thrown in the dungeons, or worse, banished to the Moon.
“It’s simple. You’ve demonstrated great loyalty to your friends and those you care about. You needed this chance to prove your loyalty to yourself. Now, I know you need to be seen at the infirmary, but I have a very important order to give you first.”
“Name it, Sir,” Harmony said with all the dignity she could muster.
“I realize that there’s a lot going on with you right now. You’re to immediately go on leave. Take as much time as you need. If you decide to come back then the Guard always has a place for you, Lieutenant.” The armored pony moved closer. “You need to straighten out what’s going on in here…” He placed a hoof over Harmony’s chest plate. “And in here,” signaled with a quick tap on her helmet.
“Y-yes, Sir!” Harmony said, grinning despite herself.
_____________________________________________________________________________
“I went home as soon as went on leave. I needed to know that Mom was alright. Before you ask, I went as myself. The Commander’s statements made it clear that this wasn’t simply the right thing to do, but the only thing.
“I got home to find Sketch waiting on my doorstep. She looked up at me and did a fist pump, grinning as she leapt up to give me the biggest hug.”
“I've taken to checking on your mom ever since you went off to play soldier. We both feared the worst for you, seeing as you never were that rough-and-tumble. Wouldn’t you know, that day she showed me a letter saying you were coming home some badass kinda hero.” Sketch gave a joking salute.
“ ‘I missed you.’ She said, and I could tell they’d been crying recently. ‘SHE missed you.’ “
“I relaxed into my friend’s arms, glad for the comfort. ‘I decided I’m going to come clean, sis. Anthem March is no more, never was. First thing’s first, is to break the news to mom.’ ”
“Fair’s fair.” Sketch said to me, a fierce grin on her face. “You’re not doing it alone. I hope you know that.”
“I went inside. From what I could tell, the house had only recently been clean from roof to cellar. It was downright spotless” Harmony stopped, scratching her chin. “I didn’t realize it, but something felt missing at the time. Turns out any picture with my father in it had been taken down.
“Mom was there, waiting for me as she always was in her favorite chair. She gave me a smile that could melt a Windigo’s heart.”
“ ‘Welcome home I’ve missed you so much. You’ve grown up so big and Mom’s so proud of you.’ She said, her eyes misting. I looked at her, and then looked down ‘Thanks mom, but there’s something I need to tell you.’ ”
“She just waved her hoof dismissively, ‘If this is about my ex-husband getting arrest for assault of an officer, I’d already heard.’ I had to give it to Mom, only she could be that understanding while completely missing the point.”
“ ‘No, mom. It’s about why. You see, when he attacked me, it’s because I was wearing makeup at the time.’ I looked away. ‘Mom, I…’ ”
“Mom quickly stood up. ‘Now that’s no way for a mare to act, all scared of everything like one of those starlets in the scary movies.’ I looked at her in shock. ‘Really, you didn’t think your mother would know? I’ve been washing little blue bits of fur out of my dresses for years.’ “
“Nothing more needed to be said at that point. Mom and I just held each other and wept. Bitter tears for all the pain, and tears of joy as well. I moved back in with Mom and weeks turned into a few months as we worked through lifetimes of baggage. Mom was extremely supportive. She even helped pay for…”
_____________________________________________________________________________
“Now wait a minute, you never told us if you went back to the guard.” Joystick humphed in a mock pout.
Harmony sauntered over to a chest she kept in her living room and hoofed the latch. Everybody, with the exception of Lizzybell gasped to see a set of Night Guard armor polished to a parade finish.
“I ended up going back, and I’m glad to say I did.” Harmony smirked. “Even if Quicktime’s influence got me in, I earned it! And it was something I could be truly proud of. It was decided though, by the Princess, that with Sparkebutt’s ascension that some of the guard should be stationed here just in case.” Harmony looked apologetically at Fluttershy. “I know she’s got you and the other Elements to protect her, but you know how the twins can be when it comes to her safety.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Wait, why did you call her Sparklebutt?”
Lizzybell facehoofed. “It’s like this: Every Princess has a codename in our official reports. Celestia is ‘Shinybritches.’, Cadence is ‘Lovebird.’ Twilight Sparkle is ‘Sparklebutt.’
Joystick laughed so hard it was like the braying of a donkey. “Oh man, that’s hilarious. What about Luna?”
Harmony’s response was a deadpan ‘Green Cheese.’