A few hours ago…
Applejack wore a devilish grin when she said, “Princess, Ah have a better idea.”
“SKKnnrkt!” Luna snorted and sat upright, blinking tired eyes. “Wh-What?”
Applejack turned to Luna. “Do ya think you kin do that again? With the apple, I mean?” Applejack asked her.
Luna rubbed her eyes and replied, “We’re tired. How will making another mayo—," my stomach lurched as Luna caught herself, “another prank apple help?”
“Ah don’t mean an apple filled with ‘you know what.’ Ah mean another apple with a different filling. Think we kin do that?” Applejack asked.
Luna’s eyes glittered as she smiled. “What didst thou have in mind?” she asked.
“The idear came ta me when Ah saw ya eatin’ that cake. It’s filled with chocolate, right? An’ Luna here filled an apple with… stuff,” Applejack said, gesturing to Luna. “What if we filled an apple with somethin’ ya like? Maybe… Ah dunno, cake?”
I blinked at Applejack like a mole emerging from a dark burrow into the light. “That’s… BRILLIANT!” I exclaimed. “Sister, can you do it?” I asked of the sleepy-eyed Luna.
She scratched her chin with a still shod forehoof and said, “We think so. Vanilla cake bread for the filling, some red food coloring painted on the outside, and raspberry filling for the seeds...”
“What about the crunch?” Applejack asked. “Nopony wants ta eat a soft apple.” I looked downcast; cake didn't crunch. At least, good cake didn't crunch.
“What if we baked a hard candy shell around it? We could dye it red. That way, it will even shine like an apple as well,” Luna replied. She yawned again.
“That might work,” Applejack mused. She swiped her cowpony hat off the table, put it on her head, stood, and turned to me. “Think ya kin keep ponies away from the kitchens? Luna an’ I have some cookin’ ta do.”
Luna stood and stretched. I must have worn a manic grin, because they smiled back at me. I winked and said, “I’ll meet you in the kitchen in two hours.”
I sat in a meeting with the minotaur ambassador for the next two, endless hours. There existed a dispute between the minotaur nation and the gryphons; something about the gryphon king eating a hamburger during a recent trade negotiation had the minotaurs up in arms. I just couldn't pay attention— my mind always wandered back to the thought of cake.
During the meeting I wrote a note, pretending it was a missive to the gryphon king, when in reality the note read: I must meet with Luna in the kitchen for a top-secret meeting of the state. Clear the court and the servants’ passageway of any witnesses and check for magical scrying. When you are finished, return to me and say ‘it is done.’ Consume this note after you have read it and committed its contents to memory. I quietly slipped the note to Vigilance and nodded. I breathed a sigh of relief when Vigilance returned a short time later and spoke over the blathering minotaur ambassador with the words, “It is done.”
The minotaur ambassador droned on, gesturing wildly in the air while I thought about cake. “…And that’s when the gryphon ambassador threatened to cut off our supply of nose rings if I said the word ‘hamburger’ one more time, so I throttled him ‘til he squealed like a rooster. Now they’re demanding we provide them with hamburger meat to compensate—”
“Thank you for bringing this to my attention, but I must be going now. I will consider your proposal,” I said, using stock answer number fifty-four. I stood and waited while Vigilance ushered him out. You’d be surprised how often ponies think I’m truly serene; half the time I’m just thinking about cake.
Once the room emptied, I darted around the circular meeting room table, making the crystal chandelier sway just a bit with my passing, and into the cramped servants’ door. Just a simple wooden door, but it and the hallway beyond gave me a feeling of claustrophobia. The servants fit neatly in this hall; I had to crouch a bit to make my way to the kitchen without banging my head. I none too gently bucked the door closed behind me in my excitement when I entered the kitchen, because, you know… cake! Don’t judge me. I’m allowed to be like that when I do everything else so well.
Inside the kitchen, I found only Luna and Applejack in the cavernous space. Pots and pans of every size hung from hooks set on the walls. A great larder hung open on the far wall, displaying its delicious contents. Two long steel tables dominated the space, a sink set in the middle of each one. The royal kitchen could produce enough food to feed a small army, literally. For now, Luna and Applejack were the only ponies in the room. Each wore a poofy chef’s hat. Luna mixed a bowl of… probably cake batter, judging by the smell, while Applejack watched the contents of an oven through the small window. A warm, orange glow leaked from that tiny window. Applejack peered inside like she was guarding a newborn foal.
Trotting past Luna with a wink, which she returned, I stood behind Applejack and asked, “So? Is it ready?”
Ding.
“Yep,” she replied. When she flipped the door open, heat wafted out of the oven. Inside sat what I can only describe as an apple. It didn't have a stem or a leaf hanging off of it like one might find on a teacher’s desk, but otherwise it looked exactly like an apple. Applejack took it out with a set of tongs and set it down on the table near Luna. Industrial lights from above made the apple look even better. And the smell! It smelled like sugar! “Give it a minute ta cool off, then ya kin try it.”
Smiling, I nodded. I bounced on my hooves while Luna yawned and kept mixing. “It smells good. Do you think it will work?”
Applejack smiled wide and said, “Ah can’t see why not. Think this’ll break yer fear of apples?”
I swallowed and said, “Let’s not be hasty, Applejack.” I saw hurt in her eyes, so I put a wing around her. She smelled faintly of apples again, but I did my best to ignore it. “I’m sorry; I would be most honored if you would break this curse upon me. Do you wish a knighthood or a title? Royal Curse Breaker, perhaps?” I chuckled.
She looked up at me; her eyes glittered. “Ah might take ya up on that. Ah’m gonna git ya ta taste an apple if it’s the last thing Ah do. Just ain't fair that the best pony in Equestria can’t eat an apple.”
I could feel myself flush. “Best pony, huh? I’m flattered, but let’s focus on the situation at hoof. I think it’s cool now.” I turned to the ‘apple’ on the table and lifted it with my magic. I brought it to my muzzle and took a deep breath. The sound of the spoon in the mixing bowl stopped, and I could feel Applejack holding her breath.
CRUNCH!
The candy shell tasted of sugar, the insides like vanilla cake. It even crunched because of the hard shell. So long as nopony looked too closely at it, I could keep eating this all day. I smiled warmly at Applejack and Luna. “I’m impressed. It even looks like an apple,” I said. I looked at the bite mark I had taken out of it and saw a small, dark dot near the center of the apple. My stomach got a bit watery, but I chalked that up to nerves. I’d have to do this in front of an audience in an hour. “What’s that dark spot? Raspberry filling?”
“Eeeyup, do you like it?” Applejack asked, hope in her voice.
“I most certainly do,” I replied. “Both of you have done a wonderful job.”
Luna sighed, and the wooden spoon clattered into the bowl. Her chef’s hat drooped as she groaned, “I’m going to bed. I’m sure Applejack can finish the creation of our… special apple.” The inflection in her voice told me she probably had something planned. I’m glad I’m on her side of the plan this time.
“Get some rest, dear sister. You've done more than enough today. Applejack, I’ll send Proper Attire to collect my dinner in about two hours. It would be appropriate if you created something simple,” I said, as I walked to the great door that led into the castle proper. Luna yawned wide and didn't bother to walk; she simply teleported away in a purplish flash of light.
“Ah’ll do mah best, Princess,” she said, as I opened the door and glanced out to ensure our privacy.
I didn't even turn around when I replied, “I have no doubt.”
I have doubts about this! I tried to keep a straight face as I kept chewing, sweat pouring down my brow. I ate what should have been raspberry-flavored seeds. Instead, I tasted apple.
Fluffy, soft, gooey, cinnamon-y, sugary, apple heaven.
In a flash, I understood. Applejack made good on her promise to break my hatred of apples. She had replaced the raspberry filling with apple filling instead. I swallowed, my stomach churned…
I smiled and took another bite. The cake tasted perfect: moist, but not watery; fluffy, but not airy. The apple filling tasted even better. I hadn't tasted it in so long it felt like a new sensation all over again. Cinnamon, sugar, and apples; such a simple combination, and yet… I had eaten rich food for so long I forgot what good, wholesome food tasted like. My stomach grumbled with hunger. More, it said.
I honestly don’t remember the rest of the meeting. Fancy and I exchanged pleasantries, we signed the contract, and the journalists took notes. Throughout the proceedings, I kept running my tongue over my teeth, trying to catch another taste of apple. The media seemed a bit disappointed; nothing appeared out of the ordinary. I felt light, as if a weight had been lifted off my back.
It took the better part of an hour, but the court eventually cleared. I told Vigilance to keep it that way until Luna began the night court, adding that she might be late, and I forbade him from waking her. I didn't need a grumpy sister the following morning.
I walked down the great hall, the guards bowing in time when Applejack trotted up behind me and fell into step. She had to keep trotting to keep up with my longer strides. “Didja like mah apple, Princess?”
I tilted my head to her and smiled, but said nothing until I reached my bedroom. The guards stopped Applejack with a cold glare, but I waved her through. Entering my chambers, I found a snoring Luna on my bed, the sheets wrapped tightly around her— her sleep must have been restless. Chuckling to myself, I flung open the balcony doors and lit my horn. It was time for the sun to go down. I’d have to raise the moon as well this night, but I didn't care one whit. I tasted apples!
Applejack stood beside me in the warm dusk. The solar balcony is rather quiet, despite the noise of the city. I’m so far removed from anypony that only a distant echo of their activity can be heard up here. Honestly, I’m closer to the sky than the ground. As the sun dipped below the edge of the world, painting the horizon in orange, red, and purple, I asked, “You just couldn't wait, could you?”
“Nnnope!” she drawled. “Ah didn't really feel right about it, either.”
“Right about what?” I asked, as I let go of the sun and focused on the moon.
Applejack took off her cowpony hat and held it to her chest. She looked down, out over Canterlot and said, “Ah didn't feel right foolin’ everypony like that; it didn't really feel honest. Plus, Ah wanted… needed you to like mah apples.” Her voice had a particular cadence, as if she spoke to herself.
“Why?” I asked simply. The moon rose slowly, a silver crescent in the night sky. I left the stars hidden by wispy clouds. I didn't want to intrude upon Luna’s duties more than I had to; she took them rather seriously.
“If ya didn't like mah apples… how could you like me? Ah’m an apple farmer,” she said. My heart broke.
I spoke quietly, but my voice had that edge in it again, clipping off every word. “You are not just an apple farmer.” I sighed, trying to soften my voice. She had done no wrong; it wouldn't do to admonish her. “You’re more than that, Applejack. Don’t ever think you’re nothing more than your job.”
Applejack mumbled, “What would Ah be if Ah weren't an apple farmer?”
I shot back, “You’d be Applejack! You’d still be... you. And the Element of Honesty. And… my friend, I hope.”
She drew closer to me, so I draped a wing over her to show that I meant what I said. “You mean that? Even if Ah smell like apples?”
“I cannot thank you enough for… breaking this cursed memory. I should have fixed this myself a long time ago, but old habits die hard, especially among immortals,” I said, as the moon settled into the sky. A bright halo circled the moon where its light pierced the clouds. “And yes, I do mean what I said. You would still be the Element of Honesty, even if you farmed oranges. Or asparagus. Or even if you weren't a farmer at all. What if you mined gemstones? Or built bridges? Or painted? These are just jobs, Applejack. You are not defined by your job; your job is defined by you.”
She snorted, “Painter? That’s jus’ crazy talk.” Applejack sighed, and then cleared her throat. “Maybe Ah kin help ya with yer other problem? You know, the one with the mayo?” she asked.
I pulled my wing back to my side and snorted. “Don’t push your luck!”