The last month was an unbearable slog for Pinkamena Diane Pie. Yet the days blended with the nights, and if somepony were to ask her what day it was she'd be hard pressed to answer. Not even her memories were complete - she'd simply woken up in Canterlot Clinic with a pounding headache and no memory of the previous two days or nights.
She didn't know what surprised her the most: What she had done, or that it took Applejack putting her down to stop her. Aside from what she had heard second-hoof, she remembered nothing. Until that time, she had never wondered on the missing gaps in her memory; she'd assumed she was simply forgetful. But as the story was laid out for her, she found herself in disbelief at what she was suddenly remembering.
Pinkie had had bad dreams before, but in the past she'd been able to laugh the worries away. Now her nightmares had been placed into context. The screams she'd often heard over the sound of her own maniacal laughter were not the machinations of a stressed mind or an overactive imagination, but the last moments of ponies she had tormented breaching the divide between the time she could account for, and the time she couldn't.
It was knowledge she wished she didn't have.
The royal sisters had graciously taken her into a secret house arrest, believing fully in her innocence. Pinkie felt it was completely undeserved. She was watched and cared for at all hours of the day and night, lest she slip back into the trance that had caused so much pain, though she wondered if it was worth it. Didn't she deserve the worst punishment reserved for walking nightmares like her?
On her most vulnerable nights, she asked Princess Luna as much. "These are constructs of an evil far older and more powerful than you or I. It is hard to fight them, but remember that they are constructs. They have no power over you." She'd respond.
And yet they did have power over her. At night, she would toss and turn through her tenuous and uneasy sleep, hearing the cries of her most recently remembered victims. Feeling the resistance, then the sharp yielding rip of the flesh she dug into with all manner of sharp and scary looking tools. During the day, she aimlessly wandered the royal chambers like a zombie, seeking any relief from her own persecution. Perhaps owing to her own unwaivering guilt, none would come even on the brightest of days.
She no longer had a taste for parties or fun, though at one point she'd tried to liven up her room by requesting streamers and balloons to decorate it - the memories that brought up had her hiding under her covers for the better part of a week. Her hair had deflated with her spirits, hanging flat against her head and shoulders.
At the very least, she could take solace in the concealment it provided for the scar which ringed the right side of her face. It was a constant reminder of that day, and left her silently wishing that Applejack had finished the job.
The picture of what had happened during those lost periods only became more vivid as time wore on. They came to her in dreams most of the time. Other times they were revealed after long discussions with Princess Celestia or her sister.
Every new vision she had seemed to go back farther and farther in time. "How long had I been doing this?" she once asked, but nopony knew the answer. She was afraid she would find that it went back to the beginning, but the earliest unlocked memories seemed to hail from a time shortly after she had wielded the Element of Laughter against Nightmare Moon, more than one year ago.
Not that that was much of a consolation to her. "Over a year..." she'd reflected during her last talk with Princess Celestia. "How many ponies did I-?"
Princess Celestia pressed a hoof lightly against Pinkie's muzzle. "-Everypony lost is a tragedy, but it is a tragedy for which you are not to blame."
Pinkie pressed in on her temples with each hoof. "Princess, how am I not to blame? These memories are mine. How do I know I didn't just... block them out so I wouldn't have to live with what I'd done?"
"You know that's not true, Pinkie. Believe me when I say that you have done so much good in this world. It is part of who you are, and if you were not innocent I would not have seen you recover so promisingly these last few weeks. My sister and I are still searching for answers, but I promise you that soon all of this will make sense."
The princess's words were encouraging, to be sure. However, she was ever haunted by one of them in particular: Innocent? she thought. She'd never considered the possibility that she was, in fact, innocent. Those ponies in her dreams, they were innocent. Rainbow Dash, she was innocent. Applejack, who'd nearly ended Pinkie's life, even she was more innocent than Pinkie.
Then she remembered the laughter, forced through her own mouth, that she had always thought belonged to her. A nightmare worse than any other revealed the presence of something else that, until she'd woken up in Canterlot, lived deep inside her subconscious. "It wasn't just in my head... It felt like it was keeping me there," she had told the Princess the next morning.
She called it the Other.
From that morning on, every session with Celestia would involve questions about the Other which she didn't always know (or want to know) the answers to. "What did it say?" "What did it want?" "What did it make you do?" "Could you fight it?" "Did it fight back?" And each day since she'd be made to relive those experiences, one victim after another.
"Why did it choose Lily?"
"Why did it choose Singer?"
"Why did it choose Gilda?"
"Why did it choose this pony?"
"Why did it choose that pony?"
"Why did it choose Rainbow Dash?"
Why did it choose Rainbow Dash? she'd wonder. That question was the most painful of all of them. She knew every pony in Ponyville, and had thrown at least one party for all of them at one point or another, but Rainbow Dash was one of her best friends in the whole wide world!
"It is almost as if the first victims were just a warm up." Pinkie overheard Luna reflect one morning when she gave her daily report to her sister.
"Perhaps." Celestia agreed. "Perhaps it was collecting its strength. Weakening the Element of Laughter, and Pinkie's will. Maybe Rainbow Dash was the one it wanted. Surely an evil this ancient would have known that Pinkie would resist if it had tried to turn her against her friend straight away."
It was all painfully speculative, and Pinkie Pie didn't want to think about what she'd done to Rainbow Dash. Not because she didn't want to feel responsible, but because there was absolutely no way for her to not feel responsible. Princess Celestia could declare her innocence every day until the Summer Sun Celebration, but just the thought of Rainbow Dash brought about the vivid memories of blood, tears, and agony.
So she tried so hard to leave speculation behind, push Rainbow Dash from her mind and focus on her recovery. That meant forgetting her other friends as well. Maybe when she was better she would find a new town with new friends, and throw new parties, and she would never have to remember painful memories. That possibility, painful as it was, helped Pinkie stay optimistic and hopeful about the future. That was, until the morning that Princess Celestia approached her with a devastating proposal.
"I think it's time that we explained things to your friends."
The thought hit her like a falling brick. Whatever Pinkie was happy about before was instantly forgotten as her smile dropped away. "But-!"
"-Worry not, Pinkie. I believe you are recovered, and they have changed much since the last time you've seen them. I know that when all is said and done, they will forgive you and welcome you back. After all, you have done nothing wrong."
Pinkie buried her head beneath her hooves. "But, my friends!? Princess... I don't know about this..."
"Pinkie. I think it is time for you to be reunited."
"But... Will they understand?"
The princess placed a reassuring hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "I will be there to ensure that they do." Pinkie was still unsure, but she did not believe that Princess Celestia could be wrong.
***
It was late in the evening when her fears became reality.
Pinkie stood behind the doors of her room, fearing the moment they finally opened. She knew that Princess Celestia was meeting with her friends (former friends? she asked herself) on the other side of it. Daring not to get too close, lest she have no place to hide when the doors finally did open, she found herself contorting herself into strange shapes just to catch any word that might have been spoken loudly enough.
It was several minutes before she realized that her legs were shaking, and she was having difficulty standing up. She eyed the bed uneasily, longing to hide beneath its sheets and disappear. But then she heard the unmistakable muffled voice of Princess Celestia through the crack in the door. It was faint, but she managed to hear what the princess was saying.
"My little ponies, come this way for we have much to discuss."
The gentle tapping of many hooves on granite belied her friends' presence, and Pinkie let out a pained whimper. Would all of her friends be there? Would Rainbow Dash? The continuing conversation outside drew her attention to the door.
"Your brother is in the library attempting to discover a spell which will protect Canterlot without alerting those we are seeking to protect it from."
"And who is that, Princess?" It was Twilight. Pinkie dropped to her forelegs and covered her eyes, but the new positioning made it easier to hear what they were saying.
"I must confess that I have only an inkling. Not anything I can state with certainty, but it is an ancient evil that once ruled this land. Any more than that, I cannot be sure of. All the more reason to proceed with caution."
"Does this have anything to do with the Ursa Major attack on Ponyville?" asked a voice that nearly made Pinkie's heart stop.
"I believe you have seen first hand that this is true, Rainbow Dash. You must both now know what this evil is capable of. Ursas are an intimidating, and highly dangerous species within our kingdom, but they are also very peaceful. The Ursa Major would not have attacked Ponyville of its own free will.
Twilight, I would like for you to research all you can about possession and control spells. Because their contents are so dangerous, the books you will need have been locked away for a long time in a forbidden section of the royal library. I will present you with a royal decree that you may access them."
"That... That's a very serious proposition, Princess. Are you sure I'm ready for it?"
"Twilight. You are my most faithful student. I would not trust this task to any other.
"Rainbow Dash, you were somehow able to break the Ursa Major free of whatever spell had been controlling it, so I would like you to assist her with any recollections you might have. Your encounters with this creature will also be a useful source of insight."
Pinkie glanced up. Did Rainbow Dash really manage to stop an Ursa Major? If anypony could do it, it'd be her. She found herself bearing a smile, which vanished when she remembered that Rainbow Dash probably would never want to be her friend any more.
"Thank you, Princess. But I hardly know what I saw. Applejack was there, too! Maybe she would be more helpful?"
Twilight spoke next. "Actually, Rainbow. Applejack's been hard to get a hold of the last few days. I've tried to visit her since the incident, but she hardly agrees to talk to me any more."
Princess Celestia intervened. "I have some thoughts of my own on that, but now is not the time. Twilight, I would like for you to wait outside. There is a matter I must discuss solely with Rainbow Dash."
"Yes, Princess. Of course." said Twilight, sounding puzzled. "And thank you!"
Pinkie heard Twilight exit the chambers as her entire body vibrated. Something big was surely about to happen, and already knowing what that would be certainly didn't help.
"Rainbow Dash," Princess Celestia began. "I hope I have already made it clear how proud of you I am."
"Thanks, Princess. But is this really why you wanted to talk to me?"
"In a way." Pinkie heard the princess's hoofsteps clip-clopping their way towards the door, stopping just shy of the threshold. "Because what I ask of you now may be more difficult than the trials you've faced thus far."
Rainbow Dash's voice strained with bemusement. "What more is there, Princess? I feel great now!"
Pinkie heard the door to her room turning and crashed to the ground, as though attempting to bury herself beneath its impenetrable surface. Her teeth were clattering off one another as she pressed down onto her eyes with her forelegs. If I can't see her, she can't see me... she thought, desperately.
"I am glad, Rainbow Dash." she heard Princess Celestia say. "But few things are as difficult as finding it in our hearts to forgive."
The door swung open, followed by the longest silence Pinkie had ever known.
After several seconds of hiding beneath her hooves, Pinkie allowed herself to peek out through the cleft in her hoof. Rainbow Dash stood several yards away, her jaw hanging in disbelief.
"H-Hi... Rainbow Dash." Pinkie said weakly.
Pinkie watched helplessly as Rainbow Dash collected herself. However, her voice betrayed that she was anything but. "P-Pinkie... It's..." She swallowed.
Princess Celestia broke the silence. "It is time for you to be reuinited. It is now more critical than ever for the Elements of Harmony to be together, but I knew this would be the most difficult for you. That is why I thought it best that you make amends privately."
"T-Thank you... Princess." Rainbow Dash squeaked.
"I would like to grant you that privacy now, but know that I shall not be too far away, in case either of you should need me." Celestia smiled at Pinkie. "You will do fine, young Pinkie Pie." She nodded at Rainbow Dash. "Come get me when you are ready."
Princess Celestia's hooves tapped elegantly on the granite as she exited. The doors closed behind her with a thud that echoed throughout the chambers for several seconds before giving way to silence. When it was gone, Pinkie realized she was still crouched on the floor, and stood up to collect herself.
"Rainbow Dash, I-" she started
"-You don't know..." Rainbow snarled. Pinkie decided to let her speak first, but she didn't. Not for a while. Pinkie took a gentle step towards her friend, but Rainbow Dash took a much larger step backwards. "This last month... You don't know what it was like. I saw you... For weeks, you tormented me!"
"Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie stammered, trying to speak quickly. "It wasn't me! I-"
"Please, Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash implored. Pinkie could see tears starting to form in her eyes. "It was hard, but... I've seen things. Things that helped me understand..."
Pinkie's voice dropped to a whisper. "Understand what, Rainbow Dash?"
Rainbow finally forced her eyes shut to fight the onslaught of emotion that was suddenly welling up. "I can't..." She managed, trying to choke down heavy sobs before they could surface.
"C-Can't what, Rainbow Dash?" Pinkie was having difficulty finding her voice, she she tried to take another step towards her long lost friend. This time Rainbow Dash did not retreat.
"Princess Celestia says I can forgive you." Rainbow Dash glanced at the door, her composure regained. "She says doing that will be the hard... Harder than what I've already been through." She turned her gaze back at Pinkie.
Pinkie's was still finding it difficult to stand, so she sank back down to the floor and tried to pick out her dim reflection in its polished surface. Glancing back up at Rainbow Dash, all she could say was "I wouldn't blame you if you can't."
"That's not what I can't do, Pinkie."
Just then, some of the tension inside Pinkie let up. "So, you can forgive me?"
Rainbow Dash calmly trotted up to her. "Let me see your face," she demanded.
"M-My..." Pinkie breathed. Without another word she shook her head violently to the side, tossing her mane to the other side of her neck and baring the thick, round scar that Applejack's hoof had left. "There..."
Rainbow Dash poked it gently. "So it was you."
Pinkie felt her guard rise instantly. "NO! No, Rainbow Dash! It wasn't! You were like, one of my best friends in the whole wide, wide, wide world. I could never do to you what I did!"
"I know." Rainbow Dash pointed out as a matter of fact.
"You... You what?" Now Pinkie was confused.
"I know you could never do that to me."
"But you just said-"
Rainbow Dash turned and sat next to Pinkie on the cold, stone floor. "-Look Pinkie. I haven't just been kicking around wallowing the entire time you've been away. I've been out there, and I saw some things that... Well, now they make sense."
"Saw things? Like what?"
"You... For one thing."
"Me?"
"Yeah. It's a long story. For a while, I thought I was just haunted by what happened. I thought it was just the memory of you coming to get me." Even if it wasn't real, the that she was haunting her friend over the last month sat like a rotten apple in Pinkie's stomach. Nonetheless, Rainbow Dash continued.
"What's been made clear to me is that you are just as much a victim as I was. So I guess what I'm saying is I can't imagine why any... thing would want to do this to you." Pinkie looked over at Rainbow Dash and saw that a stream of tears was rolling down her face.
"Rainbow Dash, I didn't know what was happening. If I did I would have fought it. You know that... Right?"
Rainbow Dash blinked away her tears, and almost instantly her face was replaced with determination, and anger. "Oh, I know that, Pinkie. And believe me when I say that we are gonna fight it. Together. Because whatever did this... It's still out there."
Pinkie was startled by something in her friend's voice. Rainbow Dash sounded like a completely different pony whose arrogant boastfulness was replaced by confidence and dedication. Something in that voice reached Pinkie, and suddenly she no longer felt like a victim of her own persecution. "So... We're still friends?"
Rainbow Dash nodded. Before she could speak again, she was locked tightly in Pinkie's arms. Her mane was bright and poofy for the first time in over a month, and once again Pinkie's cheeriness could not be abated. "Rainbow Dash! That's the best, best news I could've ever asked for!"
When Rainbow Dash finally managed to pry herself free of Pinkie's grasp, she had a great smile brimming across her entire face. "Pinkie, I've been angry. I've been sad. I've been desperate. At one point I screamed at a couple of fillies in a school yard. But I'm past all that now. I'm a new mare, and I've already forgiven you! All I want now is to track down whatever did this, and stop it."
Pinkie bounced. "Well count me in!"