"Hi, my name is Jake Witt... or should Lego Craft be good enough? My story begins "Once Upon a very long Time"! For Halloween I dressed up as Steve from MineCraft, but instead of a blank blue shirt and grey boots I wore Nikes and a Mini Minotaur shirt. I don't like dyes or make up on my face so I was a ginger Steve, making me as rare as a unicorn. Why unicorn? Why not say 'as rare a Big Foot, aliens, or Nessie'? Simple, I'm a... a... Bro... a Bro... a brother who lost a bet so instead of buying a foam diamond sword, I'm $10 short and parading around with a giant My Little Pony plushie 'my little brony' brother made for me. At least it wasn't a unicorn, but I hoped for a pegasus... instead I got the useless regular one. Heck, my bro even went as far as make a golden armor costume for it, but forgot the helmet.
All I remember besides that was buying a foam iron ax from a shop keeper entering the creepiest house in the small town... and waking up with a real version of my bro's "Pony Jake" with gold armor in a cotton candy cloud that tasted like chocolate. The pony, now named PJ, and I realized our problem once we were free an hour later. When we ran over to find a freak named Discord flipping physics.
That was when we learned of our constant immortality when we found him. Long story short, our constant deaths made him a chaotic softy, that soon turned him into stone by two horses rather than six ponies. And thus is the origin of Jake and PJ in Ponyland.
"WAKE UP ALL READY!!!"
"OH, SWEET HONEY ICED TEA, DISCORD?!" The three filly faces had either a look of either shock or confusion and PJ (we now know as Box) has a priceless reaction indescribable by my limited dictionary, but I guess it was a offended-shock. Present day, it turns out I passed out on the train, like I do in moving vehicles NOT in the sky.
I rode with Box and three fillies who call themselves 'Cutie Mark Crusaders' to a town called Ponyville... which so happens to be the same place mass me and Box murders happened, but prettier. Depending on how long you've lost your life, feeling death is somehow like a manly man visiting a girly girl gossip spa... that knocks you out, takes your stuff, and leaves you in the Everfree Forest. ...Or like a pheonix returning to its original birth place instead of being reborn where it stood. ANY WAY, we get off the train station only for me to be lasso'd and tackled by a... Cowgirl Pinkie Pie...? I think I either died or had an out-of-body experience because a passed out me was in her hooves.
Oh my Luna, Pinkie killed Lego and he spawned behind her! After scaring the CMC and Pinkie, Lego grabs his things and ties his bandanna around his neck while mumbling "friggin' lightweight" to himself. We bring our focus to the naked Pinkie Pie... where did her costume go?
Oh my GOSH! I just murdered my first human friend and yet he appeared behind me! This is creepy... I decide to drop the sheriff costume and just be me, a less cupcake rumor, me! "Hi. My name is Pinkemina Diane Pie... Welcome, I guess." Sorry to hate on Maud, but that sounded WAAAAAY too much like a rock introducing a piñata to a pitty party!
"Well, looks like your death took the Rainboom out of her!" Box said, pointing at her fallen mane with a gasp.
"I can fix it!" I shouted, "Two mares walked into a bar, the third one ducked!"
"If that's a joke, it was not that funny." Pinkie monotoned followed by blowing a piece of her flat mane out of her face. Oh my... Zeus? Nice save...? Oh my Zeus, this is a dull pony!
I shuffled closer to her, "Ummm... hi? My name is Lego. Um... I heard there was a pony named Twilight Starburst- no- Sparkler! Sparkle? Okay, we are supposed to meet her?"
Suddenly, Box summons a pumpkin pie and then tossed it at Pinkie's face with a SPLAT. "PUMPKIN?!" she said dramatically as she ate the pie off her face, "Only one stallion dared to give me pumpkin! STAR BOX!" she cries as her hair and voice rise up in a poof. She then wore a exaggerated dark pink Darth Vader-like costume while screaming, "pew! pew! pew!"
A pink hoof grabs me from behind as a Pinkie pulls me into a wooden library from literally nowhere, "See! Here he is! Told you I didn't lose him. "
"How did I get here?!" I asked, summoning a diamond hoe as a weapon. I deleted it quickly and regained my cool. ...Hold on, did I waste my diamonds on a-
"Well when a mommy human and a daddy hu-" Pinkie was cut off by a purple hoof in her mouth.
"You're Jake, right?" she asked to change the subject, "Twilight Sparkle, princess of something important- Magic, I guess, and librarian of the Golden Oaks library!" the purple alicorn said with a twinkle in her eyes and a notepad and quill levitating behind her.
"I prefer you call me Lego, thank you." Pony world, pony name. I'm not a normal human anymore, for someone's sake! "Where's Box?" I asked. What followed was a still muffled Pinkie Pie pulling a dirty Box from nowhere.
"WHERE AM I?!" he cried. His shock expression returned to normal as his eyebrow raised, "Really, Pinkie?"
"Celestia addressed me to meet with you on a 'Pinkie Sense' matter." I rolled my eyes at the thought, "She said you were the last one besides royalty who can help in this matter!" Twilight informed, "Equestria is in grave danger!"
"Danger? Honey, the only danger here is PINKIE PIE!" I replied and said pony was waving her hoof as if she would die if it stopped waving. Twilight sat back, having her wing to hold the scroll down (so Pinkie wouldn't send it out the window) and gave a 'seriously? we're talking life and death' look... I think. I'm a terrible fanfic character so roll with how dense I am.
She gets up from... wait- we were seated? I shrugged and decided to get a better look around. We are in an all wood library/house in a dining room rearranged to be a meeting room when needed. All the ponies sat on their haunches over cushions while I sat "criss cross apple sauce" style as Twilight stood...
Oh my Zeus! (...Wait, Greeks suck.) Shes the shortest alicorn I've ever seen! The young princesses weren't that short! "Oh no!" escaped my lips followed by twitching Twilight ears, "What?! What's wrong?!"
"Something shrunk you! Was it Discord? Pinkie Pie?" I cried in a mostly serious tone. "Or is it just me?"
"Quit antagonizing me! ... Did I just say a LOOONG word??? 
Wait... Chimmie-cherry-changa... Nevermind!"
"Really? I'm the same size as any average pony!" Twilight said confused.
"Exactly, aren't you good at magic? Or are you unable to fix your size? You lucky you're not as short or shorter than a foal!" I let out a gasp, "Or better yet, you'd be the most powerful midget alicorn princess! My little pony makes sense, now!"
"Box, control you friend," Twilight said between teeth trying to keep her calm.
"But Pinkie isn't doing anything wrong. Oh, you mean Lego! He's my brother... or master? Nah, I outgrew that phase."
"When was I your master?!" I asked, tilting my head.
"I REALLY don't want this! Equestria is in danger, the Elements can't be used, and he's calling me short. I already have a headache trying to find Rainbow and Pinkie's elements as it is!" Twilight said with her back to me. The whole time, Pinkie was quietly sipping tea and adding large amounts of sugar to her cup.
Silence. Silence fills the room... until we notice Box turning on a contraption he spawned with two red liquid-filled tubes, "Don't mind me! I am just doing things!" he said as Twilight left in a huff and returned with a stack of colorful folders.
"OK. Let's all be serious here, though its odd that Pinkie is silent... and machine sounds are unusual." I shook some thoughts back on track, "What I have in these folders are research and clues rated of importance from one to ten. One being harmless. We have records of confirmed and possibly fake facts, some about you, documented here." I tossed the files and let them slide on the table, using my magic to keep them together, "We have reasons to believe you have the skills and expertise that may allow us to find and capture future threats under Luna's eye and find out who or what is attacking Equestria. I don't always trust Discord... but thanks to Pinkie and their ability to predict danger, this threat can either kill or steal all forms of magic," as I finished, Jake stood and asked about 'Discord helping us' with tension in his voice and a twitching eye. Somehow he was leaning over the table, our faces close to each other, "Yeah... Can you sit down? Its kind of a long story... um... and as far as I'm concerned, he is... well... 67% reformed?"