Chapter 6: Rude Awakenings
There was nothing that Rainbow loved more than waking up naturally. The feeling of slowly regaining consciousness, lying still and awake for those last few moments before opening her eyes, and the calm nature of the whole ordeal made most mornings/early afternoons Rainbow's favorite time of day.
So naturally, when Rainbow was roused early in the morning by the harsh and annoying blaring of a bugle, she was not pleased. She groaned and reached for her journal on reflex, waking up just long enough to write down the details of her dream., a practice born of years of repetition. It hadn't been a pleasant one, but it was fairly familiar.
"Scootaloo soared through the sky over Equestria, graceful and serene. Out of nowhere, a bolt of lightning lashed out and struck her. As she fell, the land beneath her was suddenly aflame. She fell towards Ponyville, which was swallowed up by a giant pit full of large sharpened unicorn horns."
Just like those times I dreamed of Sunshine's death, thought Rainbow groggily as she stuffed her journal back under her pillow. The pit of spikes in new though, and Equestria wasn't on fire before... Her thoughts faded as she began to doze off again.
Her dozing would be in vain, as a bright flash of light filled the room moments later. "Good morning ladies!" sang a voice that Rainbow was quickly growing to despise. "And how are we this beautiful day?"
"A lot worse now that you've shown your face," snapped Applejack. "Now get out before I buck you to Appleoosa,"
"Tut tut," said Show. "Looks like someone's not a morning pony."
"Pht. Yeah right," muttered Rainbow, cracking open an eye. "AJ was probably up and ready before that bugler was even rubbing the sleep out of her eyes."
Show turned towards her and grinned. "Spectrum! You're alive. But in that case, why does Apple Crisp here so touchy this morning? Come to think of it," his smile dropped as his eyebrow raised, "why are you glaring at me?"
"Because we hate you!" chorused Applejack and Rainbow.
"Besides," said Applejack as Rainbow rolled out of bed, "nopony likes it when somepony barges into their room, especially before the sun is up. I've yet to meet the pony who likes bein' blinded first thing in the mornin'."
"Not to mention that you've yet to get our names right," muttered Rairity, still rubbing her eyes.
"Or the fact that you thought we were a 'waste of you talents' until you found out what was in it for you," added Twilight.
Show's jaw dropped and he put a hoof over his heart theatrically. "Why I had no idea you all despised me so. Ladies! I am wounded. Your words have struck me to the very soul. At least there is one among you who has not condemned me." He turned to look at Fluttershy. "Butterscotch, my lovely, surely you see the good in me?"
"Um, not really," admitted Fluttershy. "I mean, I haven't known you for very long, but what you've shown us isn't exactly, well, good."
Applejack chuckled. "Well now, ain't that somethin'? Even Fluttershy don't like you. I've got to tell you, that takes some talent."
"Hmf," huffed Show. "Well, I guess I can try to take that as a compliment."
"It wasn't one," said Applejack. "Now get out of here before I make good on my threat."
"No can do," said Show cheerfully. "The Generals have assigned me to be a foal-sitter, so you're stuck with me. I'm here to escort you to breakfast, so chop-chop, let's get going. I'm hungry."
"Pinkie Pie isn't up yet," pointed out Twilight, "and we're not letting you float her around like you did yesterday."
Show chuckled darkly. "No offence," he sneered, sounding uncannily like Twilight had the other day, "but I doubt that a student know a spell to stop the top spy of Equestria."
Twilight smirked and lit her horn. "You'd be surprised by what a student can do."
Before Show could even brace himself, a tendril of magic shot out from Twilight's horn and wrapped around his. He shouted in surprise and tried to jerk his head away, but the tendril held firm. "Let's see," said Twilight closing her eyes. Show's, in return, glazed over and he stopped moving altogether. "Spells, spells," muttered Twilight to herself. A moment later Twilight nodded, still smirking. "Here they are. Copying now."
A bead of light began to grow at the tip of Show's horn and slowly crawled along the tendril before disappearing into Twilight's. Several more followed before Twilight opened her eyes, cutting off the spell. "Wow," she said as Show shook his head vigorously. "I'm surprised that you know so many spells that I don't. I'm going to have to experiment with some of these."
"Anypony care to explain to us non-unicorns what just happened?" asked Applejack.
"Correction," said Rarity. "Non-participant. I've never seen a spell like that in my life."
"That's because a spell of that nature is highly illegal!" spat Show, barring his teeth at Twilight as he scowled. "She connected our minds and decided to do a little snooping in mine!"
"First of all," said Twilight unfazed, "it's not illegal. You won't find this spell on any illegal spell list in the world. Or any spell list at all, for that matter. Princess Luna taught me that spell herself. Even Princess Celestia doesn't know about it.
"Second of all," she continued as Show opened his mouth to retort, "you have no place to complain. You actually had my mind yesterday, in case you forgot. I'd say this makes us just about square."
"Sound argument," growled Show, "except that I didn't retain any of your mind after the transformation, and-"
"And I only took spells from your mind," interrupted Twilight. "Impressive selection, by the way. I hadn't knows much battle magic before. Anyway, you still had my body yesterday, and if you've ever used this improved memory spell I found, then you remember it down to the last detail." Her eyes finally narrowed into a glare of her own. "Like I said, we're just about square, but I'll let the difference slide this time."
The two unicorns glared at each other, the tension in the room so thick that Pinkie Pie could have used it as cake batter. Finally Show spat to the side and turned, storming back out of the barracks. "Just hurry and get her up," he muttered darkly. "I don't want to be waiting all morning just to get breakfast."
Applejack turned to raise an eyebrow at Twilight as the door closed. "So," she said, disapproval in every syllable, "a mind readin' spell, huh?"
Twilight rolled her eyes and walked over to Pinkie Pie. "Oh, stop it Applejack," she said. "You know I'd never use something like that for anything bad. The only reason I even learned this spell was to study ancient Equestrian history directly from her memories."
"And Princess Luna knows this spell because...?" Rainbow asked.
"She's the goddess of the night, replied Twilight, gently shaking Pinkie. "Also the Sandmare, bringer of dreams. The mind kind of falls under her domain. And she developed this spell specifically to see if any of the colts who tried to court Princess Celestia when she was young were interested in anything other than her flank." She looked up to see her friends staring at her. "Her words, not mine," she said quickly, and went back to trying to shake Pinkie awake. "Turns out that most of them didn't even really care about her looks and were just after the royal standing that marrying one of the princesses would-oh for Faust's sake! WAKE UP!"
Pinkie simply yawned and rolled over, oblivious to Twilight's shout.
Rainbow chuckled. "I'll handle this, Twi," she said, walking over. She leaned down close to Pinkie and whispered in her ear.
"So, you like his flanks, huh?"
Pinkie shot into the air, instantly awake. She looked around in a panic before noticing Rainbow rolling on the ground with laughter. Pinkie glared and (finally) fell back onto her bed. "Not funny, Dashie," she said.
"Sorry Pinks," said Rainbow, regaining enough control to stand, "but we had to get you up, and Twilight shaking you like a new carton of orange juice wasn't working."
Pinkie blinked, surprised. "Really? She was? Well, I guess that's what happens when you get hit by a dictionary. Or maybe it was a thesaurus. An atlas? Some kind of reference book, anyway."
"Wait," said Applejack, "who's been hittin' you with books?"
"Hm," hummed Pinkie, tapping her chin. "Not sure, but they must have been super duper strong to have knocked me for that much of a loop-de-loop." A grin appeared on her face. "So, what'd I miss?"
Silence answered Pinkie as her friends all looked away nervously, one thought on all of their minds: How do we tell her?
Pinkie's grin slowly began to drop as she looked from one friend to another, none of them willing to meet her eyes. "Girls?" she asked, the smallest of nervous smiles clinging desperately to her face. "What's wrong?"
The rest of the girls shared a number of meaningful glances between themselves before all eyes came to rest on Rainbow. She sighed and nodded, walking towards Pinkie and leading her towards the back of the barracks. "Pinkie, we need to talk..."
The rest of the girls filed out, giving Rainbow and Pinkie some privacy. Outside of their barracks, Equestrian Military HQ was the same as it had been the other day. Stone-faced ponies and gryphons marched quickly to wherever they were going, eyes dead and heads locked facing straight ahead. The only exception took the form of two ponies conversing near the barracks. One the girls saw was Show, but the other was a piebald stallion with a brown mane and tail. As the girls approached, they began to hear the conversation.
"...so make sure that they know ASAP," said Show, unusually serious. "They'll no doubt tighten security even further and be on even higher lookout for spies now that I've been found out. Tell them to expect full background checks, cross-examination, tests of loyalty, the works."
The other stallion nodded. "Will do, Show," he said, nodding. "Got to tell you though," he sighed, "it won't be easy with my best spy out of the field. A lot of our projects are going to be put on hold until we can get someone else in as deep as you were."
Show looked down, a look of deep remorse on his face. "I'm sorry," he said, voice dripping with self-loathing. "It was a stupid shot. I knew that. I knew that there would be better chances. But, he was just so close..."
The stallion put a hoof on Show's shoulder. Show looked up to see him smiling kindly at him. "You saw a chance to kill one of their bloody generals," the stallion said kindly. "And you darn well near succeeded, too. Anyone would have taken that shot. You've got nothing to be ashamed of, old boy."
Show sighed, a small smile returning to his face. "You know, you're the only superior that I really respect," he said.
"And it drives General Doo round the bend, too," replied the stallion. They shared a laugh before the stallion noticed the girls approaching. "So it's true!" he said, grinning from ear to ear. "You've returned! Ladies," he swept into a low bow, "'tis an honor to be in your presence once again. Welcome back to Equestria!"
"P-Pipsqueak?" stuttered Fluttershy. "Is that you?"
"My goodness, Pip," said Rarity, obviously impressed. "What a charming young stallion you've grown to be." She looked him up and down and winked. "Handsome, too."
Pipsqueak stood, blushing slightly. "You're too kind, Miss Rarity," he said.
"You really are," said Show, all seriousness gone as he realized that he had an audience again. "After all, we all know who the most charming and handsome stallion around really is."
Twilight groaned. "Please tell me he's not talking about himself," she muttered.
Pipsqueak smirked and raised an eyebrow. "He's the most obnoxious, ostentatious, self-centered git in Equestria. Who else would he be talking about."
"Love you too, Pip," said Show lightly. "Ladies, allow me to introduce to you, Pipsqueak, Spymaster of Equestria, and the only superior officer who I actually respect."
"The rest he openly mocks," said Pipsqueak. "Except the gryphon commanders, whom he fears."
Show shot Pipsqueak a scowl. "You'd be afraid too, if you were a unicorn," he muttered.
"Why would unicorns be afraid of gryphons?" asked Twilight. Seeing the incredulous expressions around her, she rolled her eyes. "Apart from the obvious, I mean. Why unicorns specifically?"
"Gryphons have anti-magic armor." The girls turned to see Rainbow leading Pinkie towards them. Pinkie's mane and tail hung straight down and she gazed around at the ponies around her with tears in her eyes. Immediately, Fluttershy flew over and pulled Pinkie into a tight hug. Pinkie hesitated a minute before wrapping her arms around Fluttershy in return and holding onto her tight.
"How'd she take it?" whispered Rarity to Rainbow.
Rainbow shook her head. "Not too good." She looked back at Twilight and continued. "I don't know how it works, but their armor cancels out magic. It probably wouldn't be enough to stop any of your spells, but an average unicorn would have a hard time getting through." She looked around to see several surprised faces and rolled her eyes. "What? I spent three months rooming with Gilda at Junior Speedster's. You think I didn't learn anything about gryphons?"
"Anti-magic?" asked Twilight, shivering at the thought. "I wonder how it works."
"Well," said Show, "as much as I'd love to take an hour to explain to you the intricacies of gryphonese anti-magic armor, I would hate to waste an hour explaining to you the intricacies of gryphonese anti-magic armor. Now let's go. I'm hungry!" He turned and trotted off.
Pipsqueak chuckled. "I'm probably in a ruddy small camp saying this, but it's good to have him back." He bowed once again to the girls. "Ladies, duty calls. I hope to see you again before you depart." He rose, blushed once more as he made eye contact with Rarity, and cantered off. The girls followed Show, Fluttershy walking close to Pinkie with a wing draped over her shoulders.
"So," Rainbow said, trying to break the tension, "Rarity and Pipsqueak, huh?"
It worked. Applejack and Twilight laughed at Rarity's slight blush and whimsical grin. Fluttershy giggled, and even Pinkie smiled a little. "Oh, I don't know," said Rarity lightly. "He's certainly a handsome young stallion, and his manners are impeccable."
"And you were practically swoonin' at his fancy accent," said Applejack.
Rarity's blush deepened and she coughed lightly. "Yes, well. That too," she admitted.