Twilight gathered her friends and they sat down in a nearby café to discuss last night’s events, she needed to find out what had happened urgently.
"Okay, please explain ta us how in the hay you ended up marrying Trixie," Applejack asked, “we were with you all of last night." She rubbed her chin in thought, "Or at least I think we were."
"Yeah, we were preeeeetty wasted last night," Rainbow Dash chuckled.
"Being wasted is no excuse, Rainbow! Who knows what kinds of things we did," Twilight slammed her hoof on the table, earning an annoyed and wincing look from Pinkie.
"Twilight could you please please pleeeease take it easy with the noise," Pinkie pleaded and laid her head on the table, "Pound Cake thought it would be funny to storm into my room and wake me up with screaming his head off."
"Oh dear, how did you get him to stop?" Fluttershy asked.
"I instilled the fear of Celestia in him and then politely asked him to leave."
Rarity took a sip from her cup of coffee and set it gently back down on the saucer before continuing the discussion. "Anyway, Twilight may have a point. Who knows what we did while intoxicated. The only thing we do know is that Twilight married Trixie and in the process somehow acquired a large sum of bits." She then reached under the table and pulled out a black shirt and said flatly, “And then there is this. Please tell me I never wore this ugly… thing.”
Rainbow read its text out loud in surprise, "Freddy Fazbears Pizzeria Security? That's weird, I found a shirt like this at home, too.”
Applejack, Pinkie and Fluttershy chimed in and revealed that they, too, had shirts like this. It looked like they all had gone to that particular place, that they had never heard of before.
"Well, I don't have one of those," Twilight noticed.
"Are ya sure there, Twi?" Applejack asked.
"Somewhat, I didn't notice anything like it when I woke up, although it’s possible I overlooked it or Trixie threw it away or something. Ugh I don't know, how did we even get that drunk in the first place?"
Rainbow Dash laughed, "Oh yeah now I remember! That was too good," and fell on the floor holding her sides. "Augh my ribs!"
"Care to share, sugarcube?" Applejack asked, watching Rainbow Dash laughing on the floor.
Rainbow calmed down after a while and managed to get back up on her chair. "Whew, okay, it went like this," Rainbow related.
The Pint Noir 9:30 pm
The Pint Noir, Ponyville's cozy little hangout where adults come to drink and relax after a long day of work. It’s a small but successful business that’s owned by none other than the town drunkard herself, Berry Punch. She also has a masters degree in business, who knew?
With her friend and old drinking buddy Vinyl Scratch playing music in the background, The Pint Noir also became a hotspot for young singles. Later at night and on weekends when the usual patrons have long gone, singles come to meet and that night was no exception. Twilight Sparkle and the girls had gathered around a table and were drinking various alcoholic beverages, including Fluttershy.
"Alright girls," Rainbow Dash spoke up with a mischievous smirk, "Lets play a game.”
The girls looked at each other, looking for mutual approval, then turned their attention back to Rainbow.
"Hmm, what kinda game are we talkin’ about here Rainbow?" Applejack wanted to know.
"Oh boy! I don’t care! I love all games! What's it called?" Pinkie pressed Rainbow excitedly.
"Its called ‘I never’ and the rules are simple. We'll each start a sentence with I never, like, for example, ‘I never lost a race.' Now, if I ever lost a race, which I haven't, I would take a shot of this vodka I have right here."
"Wait, what about that time when you and Applejack both placed last during the Running of the Leaves a few years ago?" Twilight asked.
Rainbow Dash looked around nervously, "I uh… I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You and Applejack were competing to see who’s the most athletic."
"Nope, still have no idea what you’re getting at Twilight."
"I placed fifth just by trotting. How can you not remember that?"
"Are you sure that was me? ‘Cause I don't remember that."
Twilight groaned and threw her hooves up in defeat. “Ugh, never mind…”
"So, are you guys in? Or are you all scared?" Rainbow teased the others.
They had already made their choice. ”We're in," they said in unison.
Ten minutes later.
"I—I—I’ve never clopped during class," Rarity said and took a shot.
Not long and the girls had passed the point of having a good buzz and became full-blown drunk.
"Rarity—Rarity you're—you're drunk, giv—hic give me your gl—hic—ass," Twilight hiccoughed.
”I—I’m not Twilight drunk," Rarity muttered and passed out, head resting on the table.
Scratch that, the girls were completely wasted.
"Who saaaaaaid that?" Pinkie wondered, looking around. "Somepony said we—we wasted…," she began, but laughed hysterically before passing out, her head hitting the table with a resounding THUD.
"Ya'll can’t handle ya'll’s… Celestia is it hot in here," Applejack stammered, "He—Hey, we're ponies."
"Yep, good times," Rainbow Dash said with a smile.
Rarity covered her muzzle with a hoof, "I can’t believe I admitted to clopping. How embarrassing and unladylike."
"What are you talking about?" Fluttershy asked visibly puzzled. "Everypony clops," she said and rapped her hoof on the ground, producing a loud CLOP. "See?"
"Anyway," Twilight brought them back on topic, "What happened next?"
"I don't know," Rainbow Dash said with a shrug, "That's all I can remember."
The purple pony got up and paced around, trying to come up with a plan on what to do now. If only some pony had seen what they had done at the Pint Noir, she thought, then maybe they could get a clue what happened last night. Twilight got an idea and facehooved from the realization how easy it all was. “That's it! It’s so simple, why didn’t I think of it sooner?"
"What is it sugarcube?" Applejack asked.
Twilight pulled Applejack’s face close to her and stared her in the eyes, "We'll retrace our steps, starting with Pint Noir! Somepony we know must have seen us there…"
"…and could probably tell us what happened after that,” Rarity finished Twilight’s thought. ”You really are a genius!"
Twilight let go of Applejack’s face and rubbed her own chest in pride, "I am a genius, aren't I? Come on girls! Lets go!"
"Wait! What about Trixie?" Fluttershy interjected.
"I'll deal with her later." Twilight motioned for her friends to follow, "Now lets go!"
Meanwhile, back at Twilight Sparkle's house, Spike was washing the dishes.
"Man, Trixie sure knows how to make a mean pancake, I wonder where she learned that?"
He had just finished his sentence when the front door flew open and a cloud of white smoke filled the entrance.
A sky-blue unicorn bearing two saddlebags full of food burst through the smoke and declared pompously, "Now introducing her glorious return from the market, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIFE OR HUSBAND OR WHATEVER TWILIGHT TRIXIE!"
"Ya know, you don't have do that every time you come in here," Spike deadpanned, "And Twilight Trixie, seriously? Wouldn't it be Trixie Sparkle?" He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "But then again, Twilight's mother’s name is Twilight Velvet, so shouldn't we just call her Sparkle instead? Oh whatever.”
Trixie wandered into the kitchen, sat the saddlebags on the floor and replied, "Whatever. Did you enjoy the pancakes this morning?"
"Yes I did! They were so so perfect," Spike said dreamy and put off washing the dishes to help Trixie put away the groceries. "By the way, where did you learn to cook like that?"
"I picked it up during my travels," Trixie explained, "There wasn’t always a town nearby and I had to either learn to cook or learn to starve and starving sucked so I learned to cook." She scanned the room and noticed that at least one purple unicorn was missing. "Where's Twilight?” She asked Spike.
"Eh, she went out to find out about last night," he said.
Trixie giggled and shook her head, "Last night? Trixie knows what Twilight and her friends did, although Trixie may not know what happened before Freddy's Fazbears Pizzeria, but I do know what happened after."
"Oooh what happened?" Spike asked curios.
Trixie took a seat near the dining room table. "Well, after finding Twilight and her friends and getting rid of Twilight's vomit stained shirt, the Great and Powerful Trixie decided to help them return home."