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What the hell was that? It wasn't like a voice, well it was, but it wasn't like I was hearing it, or even hearing the words...
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I was apparently lying on my side, drooling on a pillow. Wonderful. To make matters even more uncomfortable, I could tell this wasn't the bed from the hotel by the size. Plus the sheets were different. Which meant I had gotten a micky somehow, and any moment I was going to develop a blistering headache. On the bright side, maybe I had gotten laid? No. I was still fully clothed, I apparently hadn't even made the effort of taking my pants off before collapsing on this bed.
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Seriously, the hell was that. I-
"Say something different darn you!" a distinctly feminine voice shouted, startling me fully awake.
"Calm down Twilight, you're gonna hurt yourself if you keep this up..." this came from a younger, male source. "You've been at this for two days now, you gotta give yourself a break!"
"A break?!!?" the woman shouted, sounding near hysterical. "I can't take a break now, I HAVE to figure out how this works!"
"Twilight...come on..."
"No Spike, you don't understand," the voice paused, and I could hear...hooves clopping several steps before the familiar sound of chalk on a blackboard started up. I have a thing against chalk. The sound is bad, but the feeling is infinitely worse. To me its like my skin is trying to crawl off of itself. So there I lay, trying not to move. Poorly.
"This artifact is seemingly MADE from pure magic, but its not emitting or absorbing any ambient magic!" a flurry of chalk scrabbles sent my spine to live somewhere in Cuba, "And to top it off, I can't access any of the spellworks, or even push a SPARK of mana into it. Simply put, its infuriating." she paused, and I could hear her walking back to her original spot somewhere behind me. I heard a light thunk, like she had set something hard down on top of another hard thing.
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"What does that meeeaaaaaaaan?!?!?" she wailed in frustration, throwing something hard against the back of my head. I'd like to say that I kept up the illusion of being asleep. I'd like to say that I reacted to the pain and managed to stay in control of it. I'd also like to say I didn't flop out of bed screaming bloody murder, clutching the back of my head and rolling all over the place.
I'd like to say that. But I was too busy rolling around on the floor, clutching a bump on the back of my head, uttering every curse word I knew of.
And it only got worse when the pain finally ebbed, allowing me to finally see the two people who had been talking. It was a purple unicorn. Not just ANY purple unicorn, but the one from my sisters show. And her...dragon...brother? Son? They'd never really made it very clear on the show. Or if they had, they hadn't said anything about it on the three episodes I watched.
"Greeeaaaaat," I managed to slur, "Now I KNOW I have a concussion, I'm seeing unicorns and dragons..." I chuckled, closing my eyes tightly to try and retain some sense of normality.
"Omygosh, I am so sorry I didn't mean to hit you!" the purple menace to my sanity rattled off, and then I heard her walking hurriedly away, before coming back and stopping maybe a foot away.
Opening my eyes again, I was greeted by the unwelcome sight of a purple muzzle inches away from my face. Looking at her more closely, her eyes appeared to be filled with worry. "Are you all right, do you mind if I take a look at it?" she asked, and I could see that she had somehow managed to get her hands...hooves on a red cross emergency aid kit.
I grunted, hoping she'd just leave me alone to wallow in my misery. When that didn't work, I finally relented. "Its fine... just a little bump on the back of your head, nothing to worry about, see?" she asked. I had no idea how I was supposed to see the back of my head, but whatever.
"What the hell did you hit me with, anyway? And why the hell did you throw it at me anyway?" I asked, rubbing the tender spot.
At this, she had the decency to look slightly mortified at her actions. Seriously, her ears splayed and everything. If she hadn't just assaulted me, I might have even called it adorable. Seeing as the back of my head still hurt though, I think I'd call it "annoying".
"I...well...you see... it was the magic cube you had in your backpack?" I stared at her for a few seconds, my face screwed into a frown. She broke eye contact, and started taking an unusual interest in the floor.
"Why did you take something out of MY backpack?" I asked, taking care to put as much emphasis as I could on the MY. I didn't like people touching my stuff. The fact that this...girl had gone through my personal property, while I was asleep, was kinda off-putting to say the least.
"I...er...its just..." her ears were still splayed back and her eyes darted back between me and my backpack, which I saw she had open on a table nearby. Thankfully, it seemed she hadn't opened the side pocket yet, which was where I had stashed the mlp merch. That was a whole nother can of worms I didn't feel like opening at the moment.
It suddenly hit me then, with about the force of a train going full speed.
Holy shit. I was in the tv show.
I was in A tv show.
How the hell did this happen? Magic isn't supposed to be real, and it sure as shit shouldn't be limited to sending me to the land of prissy technicolor ponies. I backtracked through my memories, hoping for a clue to let me into some tiny sliver of sense I could make of this whole stupid situation.
"...and you wouldn't wake up, so I decided to look into your stuff to see if I could figure out anything about you," Holy shit she had been talking that whole time. I hadn't been paying attention, but it seemed like she was at least trying to apologize. "And then I saw your magic cube and I..." at this she paused, looking with downcast eyes towards the floor. "I got distracted. Trying to figure out how it worked."
I leaned closer and settled a hand down upon her head. It felt like hair. She looked slightly surprised at this, but her expression turned to one of confusion as I continued to poke and prod at her head.
"...what are you doing?"
"Making sure you aren't a hallucination. Although I gotta say, if you are one, you certainly are a fuzzy one." I stated, tracing the hair/fur down the side of her face with my index finger. I felt a pulse of heat come from her cheek, and very suddenly realized I was doing exactly what I hated others for doing. Invading her personal space. I jerked my hand back, and uttered an apology. "Sorry, didn't mean to invade your personal space, thanks for letting me sleep here," I walked over to my backpack, and shoved what clothes she had scattered back inside it. It was then that my traitorous gut decided I needed to be embarrassed more. With a long guttural groan, it managed draw all three stares from the room.
"Well, he hasn't eaten for two days, right?" asked the purple and green dragon.
"What."