“Twilight?!” Celestia cleared the smoke from the room with a sweep of her horn, charging from the kitchen to the main area with her head lowered. She could hear coughing, and then she saw a soot-covered Twilight waving a hoof and looking sheepish. She stopped mid-charge, searching for Trixie. The haughty mare had her arms crossed and her coat raised, an indignant pout featuring across her face. This pose would have been far more effective if she wasn’t also covered head to hoof in black charcoal. Her cape was similarly singed and her hat was blasted through with holes.
“What happened?” She said with more force than she would have liked.
“Trixie was merely showing Twilight Sparkle her amazing abilities in fire magic, when this treacherous bakery caused her to slip on a cupcake and--”
“What Trixie means to say,” Twilight fixed Trixie with a scolding glower, “is that she flubbed a spell for repelling animals when she tried to finish the final step too quickly.”
Trixie gave an angry blush. “It was not Trixie’s fault that the spell reacted poorly to a little flourish!”
Twilight sighed. “Trixie, spells for self-defense aren’t supposed to look fancy. If you want, I can show you some good and flashy repulsion spells in a bit. Maybe out over a lake, or something.”
Rarity had at last caught up with the ponies and the conversation. “Yes, well, we should probably get this mess cleaned up either wa--” She stopped short at the sight of Pinkie Pie pressing her face to the floor. Her gaping mouth was swallowing clouds of soot and dust in huge intakes of air, the sounds of a vacuum following her across the room.
Trixie’s eye twitched, but Twilight placed a hoof over her mouth and gave her a reassuring grin. “It’s best not to question it.”
Rarity, for her part, tisked at the sight. She summoned a dainty handkerchief with a sigh, setting to work at the curtains. Twilight and Celestia shared a glance, then set to work on resetting the table. Trixie cast a gust of air along the ceiling, generating a cloud of dust above the heads of her companions. With a squint in her eye, she timed a set of controlled breezes to make a flowing column of dust and detritus in mid air. At long last, she carefully directed it towards the trash can. She finished by pushing the clutter into the garbage and set a seal over it until the refuse had at last settled. She looked around with expectant eyes, but the shine of pride in her eyes was turned to a disappointed wilt when she noted that the others were more focused on concluding their own contributions to the cleanup effort.
“Trixie has completed the ceiling.” She puffed out her chest.
“Huh? Oh. Good work, Trixie!” Twilight smiled at her. “I didn’t even think of that.”
Trixie nodded to herself, joining the two alicorns at the freshly repaired table. To Trixie’s surprise and disbelief, they had somehow managed to fix the shattered cutlery, rebuild one of the legs from scratch, remove the scorch marks and stains from the table cloth and reset the chairs. Including one that had been destroyed completely.
“Bu...You jus...How?” She spluttered.
Twilight’s eyes widened with glee, and the rest of the restaurant’s inhabitants braced themselves for the impending monologue. “Well, I had to scan with Starwswirl’s Simplest Scry for the metaphysical kinetic ghosting to triangulate where the debris had been sent by the impact, then I retrieved them with some simple levitation. From there, we had to use Wizarding Wood Wish to recreate some of the pieces totally consumed by the detonation. Then the Princess used Madeye’s Magical Mending to fuse everything together, and we sheared off the excess with Dagger Of The Mind. Next came the tablecloth, where we--”
“Okay, okay. I get it.” Trixie crossed her hooves again, that same glower from before heavy across her face.
Twilight put a hoof to her mouth, eyes full of sympathy. “Oh, Trixie. I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m sorry, I just--people never ask me to talk about my magic, and I really like to.” She gave a blush. “I find it so interesting.”
Trixie sighed. “Yes, well, Trixie wishes she had paid more attention in class, now. Can we continue our date, now?”
“Yeppers!” Pinkie appeared from behind Twilight’s flank to put roses in the manes of each of the ponies present, setting the vase in which they had once sat at the centre of the table. Rarity in particular was surprised by the gesture, giving Pinkie a wide smile and a pat on the shoulder. She found herself abruptly swept into a hug by the pink party planner. “You’ll find him some day, don’t you worry.” Before Rarity could ask, Pinkie was delivering a hug to Trixie. “Ponies do care what you do, just stop trying to tell them how much it matters.” Trixie opened her mouth to protest, but the blur had moved to Celestia. “Not everything you do is gonna be loved by the ponies you care about, but you always will be. And she does feel that way, even if she doesn’t know it.” She gave Celestia an extra squeeze for good measure, then moved on to Twilight. “We love you for who you are, and don’t ever forget it. So long as we’re around, you’re never alone. And you better give her a chance, or Auntie Pinkie will come getcha.” Pinkie left the dining hall to its stunned silence with a jaunty bounce. “Time for some coooooookieeeeees!”
Each of the ponies raced to regain their composure, their curiosity being trumped by their insecurity. Each save one. “Princess...who is ‘she’?”
“I’ll tell you later.” Celestia gave a whisper that was meant to be reassuring, but came out as strangled.
“Princess?”
“Not in front of the others, Twilight. Please.”
“...Alright. But I’m holding you to that.” The grin she gave was meant to be teasing, but it only made Celestia look nervous. Twilight sighed at this.
“Trixie...would...I would like to apologize, Twilight.” Trixie held her hat in her hooves, her downcast eyes trailing the floor. “For the mess she made, I mean.”
“Thanks, Trixie. Can I ask you something?”
“Trixie supposes.” The mage had misgivings, but she nonetheless placed her hat upon her head with a neutral expression.
“That right there.” Twilight pointed a hoof at Trixie. “Why do you keep switching tenses?”
“Tenses?” Trixie did a double take, scoffing. “Trixie is perfectly relaxed, thank you.”
Twilight applied her face to her hoof. “Not tense, tenses. Sometimes you’re saying “I” and sometimes you’re saying “Trixie”. Using third person limited as your choice of narrative tense is already pretty weird, but the inconsistency, it…” Twilight tapped her hooves together, one eye giving a twitch. “It’s bugging me.”
“Am I?” Trixie looked down at herself in surprise. “Why yes, Trixie...yes, I am. Tri--I will, uhm, try to use the same tense from now on, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight was still scrutinizing Trixie. “And you always use my full name. It feels...odd. Not...bad. Just odd. Do you have a last name?”
“My last name is Lulamoon. Trixie...I am sorry for calling you by your full name. It is a term of respect, among performers.”
“Oh!” Twilight blushed. “Oh...I didn’t know that. Um, thanks. But in my profession--well, I suppose technically they call me Princess since that’s my rank, but I hate that. Anyway, um, you can call me Professor Sparkle, if you want terms of respect. And I’ll call you Trixie Lulamoon.”
Trixie blushed in turn. “Trixie would like that, yes.”
Rarity, for her part, was looking between the two and shaking her head. She watched Twilight’s movements and expressions, and at last she understood.
“Well, maybe we should try something other than magic for a bit. Let’s try something you’re interested in.” Twilight gave a smile.
“Trixie likes sewing.” She threw her head back and smirked, pulling her cape with a hoof. “I-I mean, I like sewing. I made it myself. Rope work, too. It is so much more effortless than all the thinking behind her spells. Illusion magic works much the same way for me.”
“Really? How do you--”
Rarity cut Twilight off by clearing her throat. “Erm, Twilight, dear? May I have a word?”
Twilight blinked, her eyes turning toward Rarity. “Um, okay. You don’t mind, do you Trixie?”
The unicorn crossed her hooves, a pout settling upon her face. “Trixie thinks Celestia and Rarity are cluttering her date night, and she feels crowded.”
Twilight pursed her lips. “Maybe it would be better if we did this another time. Trixie and I are just getting to know each other!”
Rarity gave a half smile at this, but she could not keep the concern from her face. “Yes, I can see that. And that is precisely why I need to talk to you, in fact. Trixie, I’m afraid Twilight might not be fully aware of what she is doing at the moment. I simply want your date night to go well, darling.”
“Trixie is not Rarity’s ‘darling’.” Trixie gave a “hmph”, but all parties involved could see that Trixie was weakening. At last, she relented. “Fine. Trixie will speak with Celestia instead.”
“Thanks, Trixie.” Twilight smiled. “Now then, Rarity, what was it you wanted to talk about?”
Rarity sighed, pulling Twilight over to the corner.
“Twilight, you aren’t treating this like a date, dear.”
Twilight blinked. “Of course I am! I mean, I wasn’t at first, because I tried doing what all the books said...and that led to Flash. But I’m doing fine, now. It’s just like another night with the girls.”
“That’s the problem, dear. I’m afraid it very much isn’t. This is the problem. You have been treating Trixie--or Flash, for that matter, despite what the books might have said--as if they were new friends. Dating is not like friendship.”
Twilight blinked. “It’s not? But Celestia said--”
“Dear, when was the last time Celestia went on a date?”
Twilight’s eyes widened. “Oh my gosh...you’re right. Do you think if I’d been more open to Flash it could’ve…”
“Twilight, dear, I think you were far too charitable to that rapscallion. It’s easy to see a problem pony like him after your first one. Had you allowed him to stay, you would no doubt have found him becoming more and more forceful and disappointed as the evening went on. After all, by not going along with his fantasy of a perfect date you were doing him some kind of great disservice, at least in his mind. No, he was never going to be a suitable date, Twilight. A relationship with him would have been an attempt to patch up whatever problems in his personal life he was trying to use your love to resolve. And do keep in mind they always have some sort of other problem they expect you to solve in gratitude for their undying love.”
“But I would like to solve problems in his personal life! If he even had them, that is. I just wanted him to stop making everything in the world about me! And giving me those looks. Those were really creepy.”
Rarity sighed. “Yes, you likely could have made a better friend to him than date, it is true. Perhaps some day he could see that. But until that time, you must learn to say no, no matter how much you might wish to help. Remember, Twilight, you can have dozens of friends, but only one love, and dating is done to decide who exactly that love is to be.” Rarity put a hoof to her chin. “Unless, of course, you wish to throw a ‘fling’, as it were. But in that case you would likely never speak of it again.”
“Never speaking of it again would be okay by me. It’s looking to me like most of dating seems to just make ponies a lot sadder and angrier than a regular friendship.”
Rarity pursed her lips. “It does that, yes. But that is only the ugly side of dating. Because romance, my dear Twilight, can make you happier than any friendship ever would. Don’t you ever feel the ache of loneliness in your heart, dear? Don’t you ever wish somepony understood you better than you know yourself? Don’t you want to wake up some morning knowing that somepony, somewhere, loves you more than anything else in the world.”
“Of course I do, Rarity.” Twilight beamed at Rarity.
Rarity looked at her partner in confusion, but pressed on. “A special somepony can fix that for you.”
Twilight smiled. “I already have ponies to fix that. I don’t need romance to have a special somepony.” She put a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder, and her eyes began to shimmer. “I have five who are plenty special enough.”
Rarity tried in vain to think of an honest rebuttal that to statement that would make Twilight see the error of her ways. Eventually, she gave a weak “A sixth wouldn’t hurt, though, surely.”
Twilight looked over to Celestia. “I agree. But I don’t know. What should I tell Trixie? Should I try to keep up the date?”
“Well, are you finding yourself attracted to her? Do you think you could find her a pony you could love?” Rarity knew the answer well before it had left Twilight’s mouth.
“Well...I don’t know. I really liked the time we spent together. It was exciting to be able to talk to somepony about magic, even if they didn’t know much about it. And I do want to spend time with her more often, because she really is a very nice pony underneath it all, but...No, no I don’t think I want to date her. She’s brash and bossy and she doesn’t seem to like you very much, so...I think maybe if we worked at it we could have something. It would take some time, but we could. But it would...I don’t know. I am liking the time we spend together, it’s just...when I think about who I want to wake up next to each day, it isn’t Trixie. I feel sort of guilty and pressured when she’s upset, and she’s upset whenever I don’t pay attention to her and whenever I say something the wrong way...which is often.” Twilight’s ears folded back. “B-but I could try! I don’t have to hurt her. I...I don’t want to hurt her.”
“You shouldn’t keep her hopes up, darling. The more you lie to yourself about this, the deeper the hurt will be when the truth comes out. Go and talk to her.” Rarity gave Twilight a pat upon the back. “And darling? Do remember to be gentle. She seems like a fragile thing.”
“Of course, Rarity. What’s a little disappointment between friends?” Rarity gave a wince at this, looking at the processions with anxiety. Twilight stepped forward.
---／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼---
“Why do you want to help me, anyway?” Trixie turned to Celestia once the pair had walked off.
Celestia gave an easy smile at that. “I want to help all my subjects. You are one of them, and no more or less so for any mistakes you may have made. The only times I have ever punished a pony for their crimes has been when they have been too dangerous or too powerful for me not to react. From what Twilight tells me, you attempted to do this, but only while under the influence of magic you did not understand.”
Trixie bowed her head. “Yes...Trixie did do that. She thought only of beating Twilight Sparkle, and making the laughter stop. She--”
“You weren’t in the right mind. I do not hold you accountable for it, my little pony. I have forgiven ponies for much worse than that, I can assure you. Not to mention, I am always disheartened when I lose one of my pupils. They all have such a spark and spirit to them. You can ask Twilight about a filly named Sunset Shimmer some time.” Celestia gave a chuckle. “I still drop by to leave her a book and a note from her parents every now and again.”
“But I tried to hurt one of your other students and make her suffer using dangerous magic.”
Celestia became sombre. “I have forgiven ponies for attempting to kill me, Trixie. Whatever you wished to do, you do not wish it now, that much is obvious. You are attempting to find a way to make right what was wrong and make your way in the world as a different and better mare. That is far more important than any past sins.”
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “How?”
Celestia smiled. “‘How’, what, Trixie?”
“How can you forgive somepony for trying to kill you?” Trixie looked at her in disbelief. “Trixie would never see a pony like that again. She would hate them. How can you trust anypony who has done something so horrible?”
“I have seen many things in my life, Trixie. It is easy to hold on to your anger and justify things you will later come to regret done out of grief. But it is far harder to live with it for millennia on end and not see how little it helps. It is also much easier to forgive once you have experienced the joy that it brings you to have a new friend and companion. I find most of the worst of ponies can become the best, if given a chance.” Twilight and Rarity’s conversation came to a stop, and Celestia gave Trixie a smile. She paused, contemplating whether or not to deliver a final bit of information. She thought to how Twilight reacted to opening up, and decided to risk Trixie’s judgement in the hopes of gaining some trust. “It seems you and Twilight are ready to continue with your night. One last thing, Trixie. It is much easier to forgive a pony of anything when that pony happens to be your sister.”
Celestia gave a soft smile, then walked over to meet with Twilight and Rarity. Trixie gaped, but before she could follow up the response, Twilight walked over to her. The librarian put a hoof to her head, rubbing her brow sheepishly. She pursed her lips.
“Hey, Trixie. Um...I-I need to..” Twilight took in the emotions spanning across Trixie’s face. There was confusion, hope and a smile there that was meant only for her. And she was about to ruin it. There would be betrayal, anger and sadness replacing all of these emotions in but a moment’s time. “I...need to...um...get my thoughts in order.”
“It is alright, Professor Sparkle.” Trixie winked. “Trixie can see what that face means.”
“You can?” Twilight blinked. “It’s okay?”
“You are uncertain. You are afraid. You don’t know whether or not Trixie is the right pony for you.” Trixie was smirking now. Certainty took her features, and she gave a casual toss of her mane. The conversation she and Celestia had had about forgiveness mingled with Twilight’s speech from before without a second thought. “Trixie has something to tell you.” She beckoned for Twilight to reach her. Rarity’s eyes widened, her mouth opening in a warning. Before she could say anything, however, Twilight walked to Trixie, and Trixie responded precisely as the seamstress had anticipated.
Trixie’s head shot forward, and in a moment she had planted the tip of her horn firmly against Twilight’s. Twilight’s eyes went wide, and though she tried to pull away, there was an allure to finally pressing horns with another unicorn that her curiosity demanded she investigate. Trixie’s eyes were closed in pure bliss, and the confidence that her date would feel the same.
Then the two horns pulsed, and the pair of them saw into each others’ minds.
Twilight Sparkle was saving the world. There was a pony in her shadow, a pony she barely knew existed. Her eyes were set upon a task, but what it was was hazy. Bears changed to draconequui changed to dragons changed to centaur demons that smiled as they stole the shadowed pony’s magic. At first, this was set to boiling hatred and flashes of a smug, distant stallion with disregard in his eyes. There was a crushing despair brought about by a column of laughter. There was a darkness, and a logo of a black and red alicorn stylized across a silver piece of metal. Whispers of power and success rushed through the mind with doubled speed. And then the veil lifted, and there was that same saviour smiling at her. Smiling and forgiving, and caring. The quick, potent flashes of new memories erupted around her. There was joy, love and pride all mixed into one. Practicing magic. Poking fun at a faux pas. Discovering what they had in common. Twilight smiled and added to the memories, but there was an undercurrent that was rising amongst them. Sitting and chatting. The joy of finally having a friend. The joy of making friends with a pony you thought must have hated you. But there lay the disconnect. One was happy with the first. The second wanted--demanded--something more. And the second had searched the for the love of the first, and found itself frightened and pressured. Browbeaten. Where one heart had long since opened, the other was still closed. The gap widened, and the happy pride fell into the abyss of discord between the two souls. Conflict, confusion, betrayal. And then the fusion was ripped apar--
“You have been…humoring me, Twilight Sparkle?”
Twilight blinked, trying to get her bearing. “Trixie, what did you jus--”
“You have been humoring me?!” Trixie repeated, pushing her hat over her horn and glaring at the disoriented alicorn. Angry tears pricked at her eyes. “You--I--Trixie trusted you! You and your friends! Trixie came here because she heard Twilight Sparkle was looking for a date, not...not playing with ponies’ hearts like she was making a study out of them!”
Twilight was suddenly wide awake. Her eyes doubled in width, and her jaw fell open. “No, I--” Her teeth worked over words as empty as her reassurances. “I didn’t know what I wanted. I still don’t know! I don’t want this, I just--I don’t know. I’m sorry, I really--”
“You really led Trixie on, is what you did.” Trixie’s rising voice was evened out by fragmenting and cracking. “You lied to her, is what you did. Did you lie about the forgiveness, too? Was this all a lie? Just some prank to get back at Trixie for all the things she did to you? A big joke?! The Great and Powerful Trixie! Foal of the century! Thinking she was good enough for Princess Twilight Sparkle!”
“No! Please, no! It wasn’t that! I--You touched horns with me, and I didn’t know what to do! You kept going so fast, and getting mad at me whenever I did some wrong and I--I’m a panicky pony! I panicked! And you know from what you saw that I was having a good time. That I wanted us to be friends.”
“Maybe you should have told Trixie that from the start.” The boiling anger was replaced by a set stare. Something like pity. “She wouldn’t have touched horns if she’d known the welcome she was really receiving here.”
“I…” Twilight had so many things she wanted to say, but none of them worked their way to the surface. She felt like a volcano. Pressurized guilt bubbled inside her, but it was capped by a paralyzing, impenetrable fear she would only make things worse.
Trixie simply gave a haughty sniff, pulling her cape onto her shoulder with a flourish. She grabbed the vase from the centre of the table. With a quick flick of her horn, she threw the water into Twilight’s face. With that, she turned on her heel bulb and stormed away. The door slammed behind her.
The room went completely silent. Twilight stood frozen in time, water dripping from her unblinking face. Celestia was the one who made the first move. She wrapped a wing around Twilight. “Rarity, dear. Can you make sure somepony goes to find Trixie and talk to her? Preferably somepony with a good deal of sympathy and good cheer.”
“On it!” Pinkie Pie zoomed past the trio with the force of a rocket, exiting the hall as quick as she could.
Celestia led Twilight to a chair, wiping the water off the other pony’s face with a wing. Rarity simply stood still, also in shock to some extent. “I take it this had something to do with what you and Twilight were discussing, yes?”
Rarity shifted her hooves. “It, ehem, seemed like she was treating the date like a normal friendship. So I asked her if she truly wanted to date Trixie. And, well, she said no.” Rarity sighed. “I suppose I have some fault in that.”
Celestia stopped patting Twilight down for a moment. “You have no more fault in this than any of us. It was a disaster of bad fortune and good intentions, as most tend to be. Now, rather than looking for blame, let us try to make the best of the hand we have been dealt.”
At last, the younger princess stirred. Once she was aware, Twilight simply sagged. “I don’t like dating,” she said.
“Oh, Twilight.” Rarity sighed. “It isn’t always like this, dear. You can’t expose yourself to dating without meeting a few ruffians.”
“Or acting like an idiot. Or ruining your friendships.” Twilight looked down. Rarity opened her mouth to say something, as did Celestia, but Twilight cut them off with a weak smile. “Anyway, I should probably give you girls some privacy. I wouldn’t want to turn your date into a total disaster. I’ll just get out of your manes.” She jumped off her chair, slumping towards the kitchen before either of them could say a word.
Celestia stared after her with a look of remorse. “That could have gone better.”
“Quite.” Rarity pursed her lips. “You should go after her, you know.”
“I have found that it is better when she gets like this to let her resolve her problems on her own.”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “I have found her ‘resolving problems on her own’ results in public riots over dolls and break-ins at the Canterlot Library in the middle of the night.”
“She also learned valuable lessons from those experiences that allowed her to become the independent mare she is today.”
“Darling,” Rarity pursed her lips, “Twilight is many wonderful things. ‘Independent’, however, is not one of them. She does not even keep her own house.”
“She doesn’t?” Celestia raised an eyebrow.
“Dear Spikey-Wikey has to clean up after her most days. He does the cooking when she forgets to eat, too.” Rarity gave a gentle smile.
“She still does that?” Celestia looked perplexed.
“But of course. She looks to the rest of us for support whenever she has a problem outside her field of experience. Or Spike. Which is why I think you should talk to her. She is dependent. Upon you in particular.”
Celestia gave a weak smile. “Twilight tends to hide her feelings from me when she is upset. Perhaps it would be best for you to go comfort her. Besides,” she lowered her head, “given my feelings, this would be perhaps the worst possible time for me to talk to Twilight.”
Rarity looked at Celestia, chewing upon her lip. “I disagree. If there is anything Twilight needs right now, it is a pony who loves her. I know of nopony who loves her as much as you. Go to her, comfort her. She needs you.”
“What about you?”
“I will try to go find Pinkie Pie and see if I can’t help Trixie. Do you think she always runs off like this? It is rather inconvenient, I must say.”
Celestia swallowed. “I think she does, yes. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”
“But of course, darling.” Rarity gave a little smile. “Until we next meet.” She rose from the table with a gentle trot, taking the rose Pinkie had given her in her magic and smiling quietly to herself.
Celestia watched her go, plans for Twilight circulating in her head. She swallowed. The door to the kitchen was hanging open. She made a cautious step, uncertain of herself. A dozen scenarios and a dozen bad memories flashed through her mind. She thought, for but a moment, of running. She could explain that she was called away on urgent business, tell a little white lie. She could work through the feelings--a crush, if she was (dis)honest with herself--and be the same idol and icon that Twilight wanted her to be.
But then, Celestia had never been one for cowardice. More than that, her Twilight was hurting, and that was something she could never turn her back on. Her instincts to run for her safe, comfortable emotions were trumped by the need to be there for the ponies she loved. But more than that. There was a new side to her, not a little wild and dangerous, that had been growing since the day she found that Twilight had, against all her expectations, saved her sister rather than renewed her banishment. A part of her that wanted to hope. A part that wanted to share the days of her life with the ponies she loved, rather than just let them experience happiness she would never share from afar. A part that was daring to reach for a pinnacle of happiness at the risk of heartbreak. She curbed it in before she made Trixie’s mistakes, and reminded herself that, first and foremost, she was there for Twilight as much as she wanted Twilight to be there for her.
She walked through the door. The first sensation she noticed was Twilight rubbing her face raw under the sink, a towel shoving itself against the agitated flesh in the hopes of removing...something. What that something was was revealed when Celestia caught flashes of makeup stains from between the rubbings. Twilight’s mane was a mess, the diarch noted to herself. There were spikes and cowlicks everywhere, she had pulled half of it to one side, and a small mohawk took its place in the back. She touched a gentle hoof to her old friend’s side, saying nothing. Twilight, in turn, looked at her with defiance in her gaze. With a flick of her horn, she pushed her feathers out into a clouded mess. “There,” she said, mysteriously proud of herself. “I just have to do this every day for the rest of my life and nopony will ever fall in love with me again.” She nodded to herself.
Celestia smiled. “I find myself doubtful of that. After all, your charming personality always does shine through.” Rather than the blush and stammering that she was so known for, Twilight wilted. Celestia pursed her lips. “I apologize for letting this go as far as it did.”
Twilight sighed. “No, this was all me. My stupid plan. I wanted a date. I asked for dates. I tried dating without knowing the first thing about it. It was always going to be a disaster. Maybe next year I’ll just ask one of the non-Flash Sentry guards to dance with me for ceremony or something.”
Celestia gave a sigh, placing a wing around Twilight. “Tell me what’s wrong, Twilight. What is really wrong.”
Twilight’s ears folded. To Celestia’s surprise, the smaller alicorn nearly bowled her over with the force of the hug she was being given. “Please. Don’t leave me. Don’t hate me.”
Celestia did not reply to that. Distracting Twilight would only hurt her at this stage in time. Instead, she simply reached down and nuzzled the object of her love. Twilight pushed her nose against Celestia almost greedily.
“I just...I feel so lonely, sometimes. I feel like I’m always just one screw up away from everypony seeing me for what I really am.”
Celestia resisted the urge to point out that seeing Twilight for who she really was was what made her friends so close to her.
“A freak. A terrible pony. A failure. I wake up every day and that fear is with me. And no matter how much I try to push it down with deep breaths and calming thoughts and everything else Cadance has taught me about it, it’s always there. I’m smiling, or I’m playing with my friends, and it’s there. That thought that they don’t know the real, awful me. I’m crying for somepony else and it’s still there. I’m waking up in the morning and it’s there. It’s always there. And today. Oh, today it was everywhere. Because today it was right. Today, everypony left me because they saw just how awful a pony I really can be. And no deep breaths or calming thoughts will ever take that away.”
Celestia simply stroked Twilight, letting the pony squeeze her for every emotion she was worth. She cuddled Twilight to stop the shivering. She groomed her ragged mane with the edge of her lips. There was a part of her that teased that this was exactly what she wanted, and laughed at the guilt she felt, but she forced down the devilish thoughts.
“Why can’t I ever just be normal. Why can’t I just fit in?”
“Because, Twilight, if you did you would lose that drive that makes you so good for this world.” Celestia rested her head on Twilight’s shoulder, smiling. She could see that the venting had helped, because Twilight was standing up straight at last and was now marvelling at the level of contact Celestia was sharing with her. There was something different about this, and her eyes showed that same suspicion from before. Celestia pressed on. If Twilight found out, she found out. What was important was that they still were there for each other at the end. “And if you did that, the world would be so much worse of a place than it is. A normal pony would not have saved the world so many times, I think. A normal pony would not be so quick to show love to others in need, hmm?”
“But I--”
“And others seem to think so, too. If you went out into the community, and asked them what they truly thought of you, do you think they would call you a freak or a monster?”
“Well…”
“You’ve made the same mistakes Flash and Trixie did, dear. You are thinking of love from your perspective. I see the error in my teaching, now. Love has to be from two ponies. It cannot be what we want and what we think. You never wanted to date a pony for the fun of it. You wanted to date out of a need to fit in. Am I right?”
Twilight nodded, looking down at her hooves in guilt.
“But you could still love another pony like you do yourself, of course. Couldn’t you? Friendship is safe, my dearest Twilight. But love. Love is something else altogether. Not better. Not worse. But different.”
Twilight looked up at her. “But...I made so many ponies miserable…”
“Because you did not know what love truly meant. And neither did they. But I know you and I know you can learn. Next time will be different.”
“But...can there even be a next time?” Twilight was still quivering, but her eyes had lost their dull lustre, and she was standing up alongside Celestia with as much strength as she could. “Who would ever want me now that I’ve turned so many dates into disasters? None of the ponies I met wanted me. Not the real me, at least. Could there even ever be a pony like that? Who knows the real me, and doesn’t see a freak? Who could love me just for me?”
“As it so happens, Twilight,” Celestia took Twilight’s hooves in her own, staring directly into her eyes, “there already is.”
Twilight’s eyes were full of wonder, and the pieces of the mystery from before at last fell into place. Celestia smiled down at her, and confirmed her thoughts with a single, simple word.
“Me.”