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Lyra's eyes suddenly crossed; she crashed into Bonbon's chair, flipping it and Bonbon over, and said in a changed voice, "I just don't know what went wrong." Her eyes remained crossed even after she had picked herself up from the floor.
Bonbon yelled, "Lyra!? What has come over you?!" as she picked herself up from the floor. She was rather angry, justifiably so; she had just found an actually interesting article as Lyra crashed into her.
"I really don't know," replied Lyra, her voice still at an odd pitch. She looked around, and shook her head as if to clear it. All that resulted from this was her getting dizzy, and her eyes crossing more than before.
"And what is wrong with your eyes? They aren't supposed to cross like that!" said the ever-observant Bonbon, as she noticed Lyra's weird eyes. As was her luck, at the exact moment of asking, Lyra's eyes went uncrossed. This was the power of the Derp Note fading.
"I... really don't know. I'm feeling very confused right about now," Lyra responded, sounding as confused as she felt.
Outside, Ditzy watched both Lyra and Bonbon talk. She immediately formed an idea about her situation. "The universe must hate me. That's the only possibility. It's the only explanation that makes sense!" she yelled. Fortunately, no pony was around to hear her outbursts of anger toward the universe. Unfortunately, however, the universe had heard her. Had Ditzy known that, she would have immediately taken back everything she had just said.
It started raining. Heavily. Ditzy mumbled to herself about how much she hated rain. This, of course, caused it to rain even more than before. It's an almost well known fact that it will start raining more if you say you hate the rain. However, Ditzy was one of the few ponies who didn't know that. "Where do I go now?" Ditzy pondered to herself, as she flew through the rain. As she continued to wonder, she flew past Sugar Cube Corner, and noticed something out of the corner of her eye. Landing next to the wall, she noticed there was a flyer on it, and tore it off. Quickly scanning it, she summarized the contents to herself, "Pinkie is having a party at Sugar Cube Corner at 12 PM tomorrow. Everypony in Ponyville is invited. Surprise planned for everypony who attends." After she was finished summarizing, she decided she should attend. The surprise seemed quote intriguing, and she was hoping she might be lucky enough to bump into somepony there who would actually be able to help her with her problem. Plus, Pinkie Pie muffins. Pinkie Pie muffins make everything better.
Ditzy flew back to her house, feeling tired and very confused. "How... is this even possible? Just how can a notebook cause somepony to imitate me? One who doesn't even know who I am for that matter! It makes no sense whatsoever!" she complained, as she entered her house. Walking over to her bed, she flopped onto it, not even bothering with the covers. She was so tired she couldn't be bothered to do anything else. So tired, in fact, she fell asleep soon afterwards, her dreams filled with muffins.
The next day, after eating her breakfast muffin, Ditzy flew over to the post office. When she arrived, she was greeted with the sight of a huge stack of fliers piled haphazardly one on top of the other. She groaned at the thought of delivering all those flyers which she knew without being told was going to be her job for the day. Her boss, a pony who liked to state the obvious, told her, "You're to deliver these flyers to all the Ponyvillians who have not yet had a chance to read it. We have been sent a list of the remaining ponies. How, exactly, this information is known is beyond me," he said, as he handed her the list and continued, "Also, I am sorry to tell you this, but you will be the only pony delivering flyers. Everypony else is either busy, or has taken the day off. One even said he had yet to change the combination on his safe."
Ditzy looked over the list twice, before asking in a confused tone, "But there are only three names on this list. Why do we have so many flyers?"
"Well, I'm a bit embarrassed to say this, but it turns out that we ordered enough flyers for ALL of Ponyville, not just the three who didn't have one. Unfortunately, there are no refunds, so we are stuck with these extra fliers until the next party." Knowing him, Ditzy knew that she would be the one altering all those flyers when the next party was announced.
"And by we you mean... yourself?" Ditzy guessed, even though she was pretty sure about it. Her smugness regarding these types of things was probably one of the reasons ponies persistently picked on her. But it was mostly her eyes.
"I- that is to say- I mean... Hey, you're just stalling! Go and deliver those flyers!" her boss stammered, trying not to sound embarrassed.
"Fine," Ditzy replied, grabbing her mailbag, sticking three flyers into it, and walking out. If it wasn't for the fact that she only had to deliver the flyers to three ponies, she would be complaining right about now. "So, first on the list is... Carrot Top, eh? Well, here I go!" Ditzy thought, as she flew over to where Carrot Top's house was and put a flier into the mailbox. She repeated this process for Colgate, the dentist, and Time Turner, the resident doctor. On her way back from the doctor's, she passed Twilight's library. She stared at it for a few moments, muttered, "What a nice tree. It would really be a shame should something happen to it," and continued flying back to the post office.
Her boss looked at her for a few seconds, not doing anything but blinking. "That... was surprisingly fast," he said, sounding quite surprised. He couldn't be more surprised even if he had suddenly turned into a white pegasus mare with a yellow mane. Had the universe felt like it, in fact, that's probably what would have happened. But its anger was still directed towards Ditzy.
"That really shouldn't surprise you. You know I'm a fast flier," Ditzy said, looking impatiently towards the clock on the wall. "Thirty minutes until the party? Well, good thing I don't have anything else to do," she thought to herself.
As if to confirm her thought, her boss said, "Well, since you have managed to do that... you've got the rest of the day off. I'm sure you want to go to that party, right?"
"However did you guess?" Ditzy asked sarcastically. She left the post office before giving him a chance to retort. She reasoned he probably wouldn't even get the sarcasm. It was almost certainly the reason why she still had her job, and why she kept being sarcastic to him. As she exited the post office, she saw Lyra again. She ducked into a nearby back alley, until she remembered that she could fly. She sheepishly took off from the ground, and headed towards her house. Her goals at that moment were to retrieve the Derp Note and attend the party.
Ditzy reached her house without any noteworthy incidents. As she was entering, her stomach expressed its distress and called for something to fill it. She went to a cupboard marked 'Muffins' and pulled out a blueberry muffin, her favorite type. A few seconds later, with her hunger satisfied, she picked the Derp Note up, and put it into her mail bag. She trotted outside, and looked at the town clock. "Wow. Only 5 minutes left to go. Well, good thing no pony will mind me showing up a bit early," she thought to herself, as she headed over towards Sugar Cube Corner.
When she arrived, she was slightly surprised to see a large crowd of ponies already inside. She entered and sat on a nearby seat. She looked around at all the bustling ponies, and wondered just why they couldn't be still. She also noticed a makeshift stage in the center of the store. She figured that would be where Pinkie Pie would pop out. As it started to grow closer to twelve, ponies started taking the proffered seats, and glance nervously at the stage. Ditzy spotted five rather famous figures, at least by most of Ponyville's reckoning. Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack and Rarity. Ditzy wasn't surprised that Pinkie wasn't among them. By a pure coincidence, Twilight took the seat right in front of Ditzys' seat. Ditzy considered leaning in towards Twilight, and whispering, "I'm Ditzy!" but decided against it.
Finally, as twelve grew even closer, Ditzy could hear the sound of machinery being set up. Looking at the clock she saw there were still two minutes to go. After what felt like an eternity stretched into two minutes, Ditzy adjusted herself into a more comfortable position and waited for whatever Pinkie was going to do.
Suddenly, the curtains on the stage were drawn back, revealing Pinkie. Expect it wasn't quite Pinkie. This was a Pinkie Pie who had wings. She started to flying around the stage, doing tricks and the like. Almost everypony in the audience gasped, Ditzy included. She noticed, however, that Pinkie never left the boundaries of the stage. After a few minutes of flying around, the pink pegasus landed back on the stage.
Ditzy, and the rest of the ponies in the crowd, stared in amazement as Pinkie pulled off her wings, and left them lying on the stage. "How did you do that?" A pony in the crowd asked, sounding as confused as any pony would be, if they just saw a pegasus turn into an earth pony.
Pinkie replied with a laugh, "Silly! I used a system of pulleys and ropes to fly. The ropes were invisible, of course. I call it... Pinkie Ex Machina!" and walked off stage. Twilight facehooved upon hearing the name for the device, for reasons Ditzy couldn't figure out. After a few moments, the crowd of ponies started to get up, realizing that that had been the surprise. They each took a cookie and a cup of punch as they were leaving, both of which were near the door.
When almost eveypony had filed out, only two remained. Ditzy and Twilight. Ditzy, because she wanted to talk with Twilight, and Twilight because she was the one who had to clean up after the party. Ditzy walked up to Twilight, and tapped her on the shoulder, just as Twilight was staring at the stage which needed to be torn down. Twilight jumped, as she hadn't noticed any other pony had remained. She turned around to face her, a look of surprise upon her face.
"Oh, it's you. You're the mail mare, right?" Twilight asked, realizing who it was.
"Yup, that's me! Ditzy Doo the mail mare!" Ditzy replied, wondering how to phrase her next question.
"So... uh, how can I help you?" Twilight inquired.
"I have something I need your help with. It's... hard to explain, honestly. It'll be easier if I just show you," Ditzy said, as she pulled the notebook out of her mailbag.
"What's that? And why does it say Derp Note on it?" asked an ecstatic Twilight, hoping she would get a chance to study it. It seemed like such a curious artifact that she just couldn't wait to get her hooves on it and use it.
"This? This is my problem. Here, let me tell you of its origin," Ditzy said, as she proceeded to tell Twilight the whole story.
"...And that's why I'm here talking with you. I'm hoping you can send this back to wherever it came from."
"Why... this is incredible! I really must study this book, and figure out how it works. So, can you lend it to me?"
"You weren't listening to the last part of that, were you? I want you to send it back as soon as possible, not study it!" Ditzy said, starting to get annoyed with Twilight.
"Oh, I suppose I did zone out there," Twilight said, realizing that she had started to ponder using it. "So, you want me to send this thing back, right? Well, can you hand it over here?" she asked, reaching out a hoof to take it.
"Sure," Ditzy said, as she started to hand the notebook over. A voice suddenly echoed in her head, unknown to her, and obviously not heard by Twilight.
"Why be so foolish? Keep the notebook for yourself, and use it to exact that revenge you had planned. It's not like anypony except for Twilight here will know what's happening," the mysterious voice told Ditzy.
"Who are you? And how come only I can hear you?" Ditzy asked the voice in her head.
"Who? What is a better word. And neither of these two things concern you right now. However, if you wish to continue in your use of the Derp Note, go back to your house," the voice told her.
"What... is going on? What is this mysterious voice? And... should I listen?" Ditzy pondered to herself. Her hoof stopped in mid air. She now had two choices: the mysterious voice, and its offer, or her own reservations about it. There was something so oddly compelling resonating in the mysterious voice. She couldn't quite describe what it felt like, only that it was compelling her to return to using the note.
Finally, she came to a decision.