EVERYPONY’S FINE
I give up.
It’s not really a phrase that enters my mind all that that often. Sure, I know when to cut my losses and move on if it’s appropriate, but the things that really matter to me? Those are different. No matter what certain mothers who will remain unnamed might think, quitting on something I care about really sticks in my craw. But sometimes there’s just not much else you can do.
I turn over in bed with a sigh and glance at my clock, its face glimmering in a moonbeam that snuck through my curtains. Well after midnight, and the thoughts running circles through my mind have chased away my chances of sleep. It’s a cold comfort that Azalea’s night is probably going way worse than mine is. Those things she said out in her garden when she thought I wasn’t listening. They’ve been playing back for me all evening. Should I have left her alone afterwards? Should I have done something differently over the last couple days to help her get over Twilight? I’ve tried everything I can think of, and maybe I’ve snapped at her a couple times but it seems fair given all that she did to me.
Oh goody, here comes the anger. Every time I stumble onto that particular bundle of memories my blood pumps a little harder and I’m so, so tired of trying to pretend it doesn’t for other ponies’ sake. Luckily, the pillow I use to muffle my frustrated scream is the nonjudgmental sort. Good thing too. That pillow’s seen some crazy stuff go down in this bedroom.
I wonder how many times it was with a changeling?
Not helping, brain. Not helping at all.
My entire family. They were going to paint the walls of Alula’s bedroom with her blood, and they were going to use information they got from me to do it. And here I am trying to help the pony who took it from me piece her life back together instead of beating her face into a bloody pulp. Because I don’t quit. I’m not a quitter.
I’m not. But I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
Thank Celestia that Kicky’s getting back tomorrow. Maybe she’ll know what the right thing to say to Azalea that will make her change her mind about Baltimare. Because she’s the one who always has all the answers no, no, no, you’re past this, Cloud. None of this is Kicky’s fault, it’s... I don’t know. The changelings, Mom, it’s somepony else’s fault you’re feeling this way. Besides, Azalea’s her friend too so it’s completely reasonable that she’d want to help shoulder the burden of helping her. But if that doesn’t work...
By the time I finally drift off it’s well after two in the morning, and if anything I’m even more lost than before. The last thing I remember wondering is if, maybe just this once, I could catch a break.
------------------
“Wow, you look awful.”
I stop in the middle of the street when I hear the voice above me. “There’s this thing called tact, Dash. You should look into it,” I reply. Still, it’s not like she’s wrong. I hope that Kicky’s up to carrying her own bags back from the train station; the ones under my eyes are more than heavy enough for me.
Rainbow Dash lands next to me and leans in uncomfortably close to get a better look at my face. “No, seriously though. You getting enough sleep?”
I plaster on a grin. “What can I say? Lots of ponies to bang, and they all expect my A-game. Wears a mare down.”
I’m rewarded by a little shiver running down Dash’s spine. She’s so easy to fluster. “Ugh. I don’t wanna hear about that stuff. New subject, please.”
“Alright, fine.” Fun to tease or not, antagonizing one’s boss is rarely a great career move, even if Rainbow cuts me a lot more slack than most would. Plus I have to save some material for later, right? “I heard Twilight had a date last night. Any idea who it was with?”
She shrugs as she begins walking alongside me through the marketplace towards the train station. I don’t mind taking it slow. Pretty sure I have a couple extra minutes to kill before Kicky’s train arrives. “Some earth pony mare. Algae something.”
Good thing I don’t need to be making good time since hearing that name brings me to a very sudden stop. “Algae Bloom? You set Twilight up with Algae Bloom?”
Dash might hear the words, but there’s no way she actually understands them. “She asked, and Twilight said yes. I mean, I wouldn’t necessarily have. She can’t be any worse than Azure or what’s-her-face who treated her like crap. Good riddance, y’know?”
“It’s Azalea. And you have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Rainbow scoffs. “I know she walked away from a pony who was all hurt and needed her and stuff. That’s pretty bucking low. If you’d seen Twilight at the party the other night you wouldn’t be so quick to defend her.” Her wings start to twitch and, of course, I’ve gone and given her a full head of steam just as we’re getting close to Az’s cart. A detail that doesn’t go unnoticed by Rainbow. “I heard about what Star Swirl said to her the other day. I’ve got half a mind to go over there right now and put on a repeat performance.”
So that’d be a ‘no’ on the ‘can I catch a break’ thing, I guess.
“You’ve got half a mind, all right.” I pin her tail down with a hoof as a preventative measure. Things have, against all odds and certainly all reason, just gotten much worse. “She’s in a really bad place right now, Dash. The last thing she needs is for you to throw this in her face.” Privately, I wonder if just hearing that the mare Twilight traded her in for is Algae Bloom will be that one last touch that pushes her over the edge for good.
Dash, however, is unmoved. “Yeah right. Just look at her.” She gestures in Azalea’s direction, and I have to admit I can kinda see what’s got Dash all riled up. Chatting with a customer, she’s grinning ear to ear with a happy shine in her eye. Even knowing how good she is at faking that, it’s hard not to be impressed by how well she pretends to be happy. She bundles up a few of her flowers in a paper cone, and when she trots over to slip it into the stallion’s saddle bags I notice that something about her gait is ever so slightly off. Can’t put my hoof on it before Rainbow continues. “Somepony should go wipe that dumb smirk off her face.”
“Leave her alone.” My plea falls on deaf ears as she knocks my hoof aside and bolts towards Azalea, with me close behind.
She stops in front of the cart, but before she can launch into whatever she’s about to say Azalea spots me and rushes past her. “H-hey! Come back here so I can yell at you!”
If she even hears what Dash just said, she doesn’t reply. Instead she just grabs me in a hug and buries her face in my mane. I knew she had to be faking. “It’s okay, Azalea,” I say, rubbing her back with a comforting hoof. The death glare I’m throwing Rainbow Dash over her shoulder is, for the moment, keeping her at bay. “I know things are hard right now, but you’ll make it. You don’t have to move to Baltimare.”
“To where now?” Huh. That’s not the reaction I expected. I also notice that there’s a distinct lack of sobbing and, when she pulls back and looks at me with genuine confusion, no tears either. “Oh, that. I forgot about it, actually. I’m not going anywhere.” That grin comes back, and I’m not nearly as sure as I was a moment ago that it’s a fake. “From now on, I run towards things, not away. Not anymore.”
“Well... that’s great!” Her grin is infectious, and soon I’m sporting one too. Albeit one with more confusion backing it up. “It’s just last night you seemed really down. I figured another night of bad dreams wouldn’t help.”
A certain contentment drifts across her face as she gives me a mischievous, I-know-something-you-don’t-know look. “I didn’t have any bad dreams last night. I think... I think I found something that keeps them away.” Her smile, if anything, grows even feistier. “Or I should say somepony who keeps them away.”
“Um, hello? Angry best friend of your ex here, remember?” asks Rainbow Dash. Princesses forbid somepony not pay attention to her for three seconds.
“Not my ex,” says Azalea, sparing Dash a quick glance before returning to me. “After you walked me home last, well, you remember how I was. I even...” she trails off. She doesn’t have to share what I know she’s recalling right now if she doesn’t want to. “Anyway,” she begins again, “Twilight came by. I guess her date didn’t go so well and she... we... we went up to the lake.”
“You two kissed and made up?” I asked, throwing in a suggestively raised eyebrow for good measure.
“It was more than that. She... and I... I can’t even find the words right now. But it was exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it. I’ve never felt like this, Cloudy. Like I can do anything. Like I’m finally ready to start my life, and nopony’s going to hold me back. Especially not myself.” I look, really look, at her face. Sure, I’ve seen her happy before, but now there’s more to it than that. Something new and different. Whatever it is, it suits her.
“Well, it must have gone well if you spent the night with her.” Her blush and faraway look make me realize exactly why she was walking funny earlier. “Well, you can’t stop there! What happened next? Don’t spare the details.”
Azalea blushes harder. “Well, after we talked for awhile she told me she wanted to show me something. Then she teleported us both to the roof of this building where there was... oh, I just realized I don’t even know who lives there, I hope we didn’t wake them up.”
“You banged her on the roof?” I guess that’s not too crazy, just a little odd. Sounds uncomfortable.
“Ew,” says Rainbow Dash from back by the cart.
Azalea lets out a happy little giggle. “It wasn’t that it was the roof. There was this weather vane...”
“Wait,” I say as she lets that linger in the air. “Are you saying that Twilight knows about the thing with the weather vanes? We are talking about Twilight Sparkle, right? Bookish little shut-in?”
“Oh, she definitely knows,” says Azalea.
“You lucky bitch! It’s going to be two days before you’re walking straight again. Three if it was a copper one.” I never would have pegged Twilight as somepony who’d have experience with that kind of thing, especially with how uncomfortable the entire topic of sex always makes her. “Boy, it’s always the quiet ones.”
“Uh... what’s so special about weather vanes?” asks Rainbow Dash, completely lost.
A conspiratorial look passes from Azalea to me and back. This is going to be fun. “You mean you don’t know?” I ask. “You’re missing out. Here, lean in and I’ll whisper it to you.” She hesitates, but I know this mare. She’s not going to chicken out now. She perks up her ears and starts to listen.
Fifteen seconds into my explanation, her jaw drops and she pulls away. “Ew! You... and then another... with an... EW!”
I can’t help laughing out loud. “Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it. I wasn’t even up to the good part yet. Don’t you want to hear what happens next?”
“No. So much no.”
“Your loss, ya big prude,” I say with a shrug. “I just wish I knew exactly why it felt so good.”
“Oh, I might be able to explain that.” Right on cue, Azalea chimes in much to my delight and Rainbow’s despair. “Twilight was explaining some of the science behind it to me this morning. Apparently when the ‘E’ makes contact with—”
Dash’s response is to clamp her hooves over her ears as Azalea continues and try to drown her out. “Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope.”
“—is when I accidentally bit down on her tail, but she seemed to like it so we—”
“La la la la la la la! La! La la la la la la!”
“—and the electromagnetic field it generates sets off the nerve endings all through your body, which is why you get that building tingle right before—”
“I’m not listening! I’m nooooooooot liiiiiiiiiiiiiiistening! You might as well stop talking because nopony wants to hear this stuff and I’M NOT LISTENING!”
“—and we would have gone for a fourth time, but Twilight said we had to stop or it would overheat,” finishes Azalea.
“Yeah, that’s not somewhere you want to get burned.” I shudder. “Believe me.”
It seems Azalea’s new attitude about not running away from things isn’t shared by Rainbow Dash. Her hooves still over her ears, she flaps her wings and shoots into the air. It only takes a few more before she’d behind a nearby roof and out of earshot, leaving Azalea and I leaning against one another and laughing. As our laughter quiets, it’s easy to transition it into another hug. “Cloudy? Thank you.”
“Eh, I didn’t do much of anything.”
“You believed in me.” She leans in a little closer so she can switch to a whisper. “Even with what I used to be. A changeling and... and a coward.”
“Hey there,” I say, nuzzling her cheek. “You’re not a coward.”
She picks a flower off of her cart and offers it to me. “Well, for now at least take a bite to eat.” Never one to turn down a free snack, I pop it into my mouth and close my eyes to better savor the taste as I chew. When I open them again, Azalea’s giving me a funny look.
“What? Is there pollen on my cheek or something?”
She shakes her head. “I’m going to pay you back.”
“For what? Being your friend? You don’t have to do that.”
“Yes I do.”
“You really—”
“Cloud!” The iron in her voice gives me pause. Guess she’s more serious about this than I realized. “I don’t know how yet, but someday I’m going to find something I can do for you or give you that has as big an impact on your life as you’ve had on mine.”
I flash her a grin. “Tell you what, talk Twilight into sharing you with me for a night and we’ll call it even. Now I’m dying to find out what other tricks she knows.”
Shaking her head, she sighs. “You don’t believe me. That’s fine. Just wait and see.” A little knowing smile crosses her face as she grabs another flower. “Here, for Kicky when she gets back.”
The mention of Kicky abruptly shunts away any speculation on my part about just what she might be up to and I notice that thanks to this little stop I’m now running late to pick her up. I accept the to-go treat and bid Azalea farewell. Even though I’m late, I stop just before I turn the corner to look back. Azalea’s moved on to the next pony, haggling over a dozen flowers. Even deep in concentration, that smile of hers hasn’t gone away. I suspect it’s going to be a long time before it does.
Like I said, I don’t quit. And that’s why.
---------------------
“Anyway,” says Kicky as she drops her duffel bag on the floor of our living room, “I’ve rambled about drills and training for long enough. Anything interesting happen here while I was gone?”
I stare at her, not really sure where to start. Plus she’s gotten a new mane cut that’s still throwing me. It’s not immediately obvious that it’s shorter now unless we’re standing next to one another, but it’s still a difference between us. Shouldn’t be a big deal, but for some reason it keeps bothering me. Makes her look older, somehow. “Well, let’s see. Azalea and Twilight broke up, then she got drunk, thought I was you, and confessed all about how she used to be a changeling. Then I talked to Scootaloo who, after a detailed discussion with Elizabeak over the many ways she could murder me, told me that you and the rest of the hive have been using me to feed for like a year now, including once on Blossomforth. So I’m not exactly having the greatest week.”
Kicky blinks a few times in surprise. “They broke up?”
“That’s the part about all of this you’re going to be surprised by? Really?”
She shrugs. “Well, the other stuff I knew already. Most of it.”
“It was a long couple of days, but the other girls and I pulled her back together and the two of them reconnected last night.” Just the act of laying it out like that makes me feel every minute of all the good night sleeps I haven’t been getting recently. “So everypony’s fine. Just great. All hunky-dory.” Kicky’s been watching me with an odd expression. “What?”
“Seems like as good a time as any to give you something Aunt Wind wanted me to pass on.” She pulls the zipper of the duffel bag open with her teeth and rummages around for a few second before she comes up with an envelope between her teeth, one bearing the official seal of the Royal Guard and everything. “Now remember, I’m just the messenger here.”
Well that doesn’t bode well at all. I break the wax seal and pull out the crisply folded sheet of paper within. They look like official orders. I skim through the boilerplate about my duty to the Reserve until I get to the only part that matters.
Pvt. Kicker
You are hereby ordered to report to Canterlot for full psychological assessment and evaluation no later than thirty days hence.
Col. Wind
“Kicky...”
“Remember, just the messenger here,” she says again, inching away even as she does. “You knew I was going to tell Aunt Wind about what happened in that hive. When I told her you didn’t think you needed to talk to anypony about it she made up her mind.” I just hold my glare on her, so she continues. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re officially only being asked... well, okay, ordered, but on paper it’s because the new ex-changeling unit I’m part of is only a few weeks from officially forming and integrating into the rest of the command structure. Your evaluation is supposed to help them figure out how other ponies will adapt to serving with them seeing as how we’ve already been living together and everything. A little flimsy, maybe, but it’ll hold water.”
“Gee,” I mutter, “I’d think the rest of the clan would jump at the chance to have their black sheep declared officially crazy.”
“Don’t be like that, Cloudy. She’s just worried about you.” I watch her weighing her next words very carefully before she says them. “Mom asked about you.”
“I explicitly told you not to tell her—”
“I didn’t,” she interrupts before I can get going. A little spark of anger from last night tries to bubble up, but it’s a half hearted one and I quash it before it can really start building. I’m getting awfully good at that. “She just wanted to know how you were. I told her you were fine, if that helps.”
“I am fine. Why would you tell her anything else?” She won’t meet my eyes. Instead she just drags her bag to her bedroom and leaves me to relax on the couch. Foreleg draped over my face, I could almost drift off for a nap. I spend about ten minutes trying, without luck. Too annoyed that I’m going to have to drag myself all the way to Canterlot just so Aunt Wind can meddle in my life.
“Um, hey Cloud?”
I sit up and look at Kicky, standing in the hallway watching me. “Yeah?”
“Look, as long as I’m telling you things that are going to upset you, I’ve got one more for the pile.”
I stifle a low groan. This day was going so well just an hour ago, too. “Alright. Spill it.”
It takes her a few minutes to work up the nerve to keep going, and I can tell she already regrets letting me know something’s coming. “You know how there was a changeling who impersonated you to get to Blossom?”
I nod. “Yeah. Azalea said it was probably some drone just passing through.”
“That’s not an unreasonable assumption.” For a moment I think that she’s just going to leave it at that, but she proves me wrong. “But... it wasn’t. Not in this case. It was just... well, I got hungry.”
When I connect the dots and realize what she’s saying, I expect a fresh surge of rage. I guess I really have gotten good at keeping it in check with everything that’s been happening, because this time nothing comes at all. It’s almost a little disappointing that it doesn’t, like I’m being stood up by an old friend. Instead I just lie back down on the couch. “Oh. Thanks for telling me. I won’t say anything. After all, what’s one more secret to keep from my friends? I’ve had plenty of practice.”
“I sort of thought you’d be more upset when you found out,” says Kicky. I would think she’d be happy, but she doesn’t sound any less worried than she was a moment ago.
“What’s the point?” I ask. “Do you really want to go through the whole ‘I’m mad, you’re mad, we yell and threaten one another, almost come to blows only, surprise, sudden interruption stops us, cooler heads prevail, realize we’re being dumb, hug and make up’ thing? Because we’ve already done that, what, at least three times now. I don’t really feel like going another round at the moment.”
With my eyes closed, the ensuing silence leads me to believe that Kicky’s left to do... whatever she’s up to today. At least until I hear her voice right above my head and nearly leap out of my skin.
“Kicky! Geeze, make a little more noise before you do that kind of thing.” When my breathing is back to something vaguely resembling normal, I go on. “You were saying?”
“I asked if you felt like going out to the Sun’s Flank tonight, just you and me. Middle of the weekend, I bet there’ll be plenty of ponies looking for a good time. I’ll be your wingmare. You just seem like you could use a fun night to recharge a bit.”
That does sound pretty appealing, actually. “You must need it too, after a week of training. Sounds like they worked you pretty hard.”
“Nah, it wasn’t that intense. Just putting us through our paces and trying to get a sense of who would be doing what. We had plenty of time off in the evenings. Glint and some of his friends took me to hit a couple of our old haunts and swap stories.”
My ears perk up a bit at that. “Glinting Steel wasn’t a changeling, was he? I didn’t think he had a double.”
She shakes her head a bit too quickly. “Nope, he’s the same pony we went to West Hoof with. He’s been great, though. Totally fine with the whole former changeling thing.” She bites her lip. “Cloudy, do you ever wish you’d done stuff differently back then?”
“How so?”
“With Glint. I mean I remember how much fun we always had, but you knew he kinda... you know...”
“Spit it out, filly.”
“Deep down he wanted a special somepony, not just to get laid. Not that he minded that part, obviously.”
I think back. Glint had been a regular part of my rotation since we’d hit it off early in second year right up until... well, for as long as I’d been enrolled. While I’d laid out my rules right from the start, and he’d accepted them, I definitely know what Kicky’s talking about. “He’s a good pony, but we’re not really wired for monogamy. Think about how much we’d have missed out on if we’d let him tie us down like that. Hey, that’s half the reason to join the Guard in the first place, right? Travel Equestria, meet interesting ponies, and bang them.”
“I guess so. It was just on my mind this week and I wanted to ask.” Then she grins. “Anyway, speaking of fun you need to have a little of it tonight. So rest up this afternoon and run whatever errands you need to get done. I’ll cook, then we’re hitting the town.”
----------------------
With the first breath of the hot, smoky air that permeates the packed-solid Sun’s Flank I can already feel the stress that’s built up in my head over the last week start to lessen. I turn back to look at Kicky, who’s watching me with an expectant grin, and step over the threshold to start trying to force my way towards the bar. I really owe her one for suggesting this in the first place. Who would have thought that a pony with all of my memories and my personality would end up knowing me pretty well?
It’s hard to hear much of the music over the din of a hundred conversations. The stallion onstage with an acoustic guitar crooning into the microphone about his fillyfriend or dog or something doesn’t stand a chance, but then again I’m not here to dance or listen to a set. I’m on the hunt.
The hunt is briefly postponed, though, while I try to get the bartender’s attention and order a pair of ciders. It takes longer than it should, but twenty minutes later I’m balancing two mugs on my back as I hover over the crowd towards where Kicky is flagging me down from a little table against the wall. When I get close enough she grabs them from me before my rhythm can slip and my flapping wings tip either of them over. Hard to be suave when you’re soaked and smell like an orchard growing in a distillery. Not impossible, though; ‘do you want to go somewhere quiet and help me suck it out’ has worked for me before, although in that case I’d already been talking to him before somepony’s stray elbow knocked over my glass. But I digress.
“There she is,” says Kicky, “you know this is the first time I’ve seen you smiling all day?”
“What? That can’t be right. You must not have been paying close enough attention.”
“Well, either way. So—” she gestures with a wing over towards the ponies at the bar, “—who’s on the menu tonight?”
I wince. “Word choice, Kicky.”
Her smile slips a bit. “I’d argue that phrase works just as well for you as it does for any changeling. Besides, you know what I meant.”
I scan the crowd. Plenty of strangers, some ponies who I know casually, and a few who I know a lot better than casually. While most nights I wouldn’t mind making a new friend, tonight isn’t most nights. Honestly, the prospect of hitting on thirty new ponies to find one who’s interested sounds a lot more exhausting than exhilarating. When did that happen? “Yeah, I guess I do. Keep an eye out for any of our regulars.” Just have to turn on the charm and find some low-hanging fruit that’s getting plucked tonight.
In the meantime, just sharing a drink with Kicky and getting caught up on the latest family gossip is plenty nice in and of itself. I’m just laughing at her retelling of Star’s repeated attempts to beg her way into going out with her and Glint for a night of debauchery when she stops mid-sentence. “Easy good time on your five o’clock.”
I turn my head just enough to look without looking like I’m looking. I only catch a glimpse out of the corner of my eye, but that coat and mane tend to stand out. “Fire Brand? You think so?”
“If you’re up for it. You do kinda owe her after you introduced her to a friend who went and blew her off a minute later.”
“Extenuating circumstances,” I mutter into my drink, but in my head I’m turning the suggestion over. She’s a mare I know and like, and always a good time when I don’t mind having a few bruises the next morning. She does have a tendency to forget her own strength in the heat of the moment. “You know what? Hold my cider and watch the master at work.”
Kicky rolls her eyes and gamely lets me go. We both know I don’t need her help in this particular case, so I’ll free her up to go after somepony else while I talk to Fire Brand.
She spots me on my approach, and her friendly wave is a good sign that she’s feeling receptive tonight. That does make things easier. “Cloudy! Here to save me?” Make that a lot easier.
“Absolutely,” I reply, “from what, exactly?”
Fire Brand nods ever so slightly to bring my attention to another mare at the bar who’s staring at her rear so intensely you’d think she was trying to read something off of it. “Five times in a row now. Every time I introduce myself to a cute pony, they think they’re the first to come up with something like ‘Fire Brand, huh? No wonder you’re so hot.’ It used to be cute, but now it’s just annoying.” She registers my grin. “Don’t you dare.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not one to go around burning my bridges.” She groans, but I’m not even close to done. “Not when things are warming up between us. I understand why you might be worried; after all, usually where there’s smoke there’s fire. And... something something going into heat.”
Despite herself, she does laugh at the last one. “Okay, I brought that on myself. You’re still an awful pony, though.”
“You think if I buy you a drink I might be able to claw my way back up to half-decent?”
Her grin gets a little more sultry. “Maybe. Or maybe you’ll have to find some other way to make it up to me.”
Sure, I could probably convince her to go straight back to my place after a comment like that, but I don’t. She’s not some sex object. Well, okay, with those taut muscles she’s earned swinging a hammer all day that flow along her chest and legs under that silky red coat she totally is, but she’s not just a sex object. So I pay for a new drink for both of us and we take a half an hour to catch up. I share some weather team gossip and she tells me about the crazy new business that opened up down the street from hers. Who thought crossbows and bowling balls would be a good combination? As much as I hate to see anypony’s livelihood fail, hopefully whatever replaces it will make a bit more sense.
When a slightly tipsy Fire Brand leans over and her hoof drifts downwards to stroke at my thigh, I know it’s time to move onto the main event. I make a quick detour over to where Kicky’s making eyes at the unicorn stallion chatting her up, and I don’t even mind that she finished my cider while I was away. After letting her know I’m heading out, I meet Fire Brand again by the door and we spill out into the cool evening air, laughing together at a joke that wasn’t even that funny to begin with.
The ‘your place or mine’ conversation goes in her favor, so it looks like Kicky will have the house to herself tonight. While she’s fiddling with getting the front door open, I surprise her with a little nip right over the cutie mark and she yelps out loud. She’s already breathing a little harder, and we’re barely over the threshold before she hooks a foreleg under my barrel and effortlessly swings me up onto her back. Then she makes straight for the bedroom, and I’m just along for the ride.
-----------------------
“Mmmm... you’ve picked up a few new tricks since last time we did this,” says Fire Brand, resting her head on my shoulder. A brief time-out between rounds one and two.
“I’m full of surprises,” I reply. The pleasant haze of an endorphin rush is exactly what I needed after today. Fire Brand shifts her weight a bit and plants a hoof firmly on my chest, pinning me down as she moves to straddle. We didn’t bother with any of the bedroom lights when we came in here, preoccupied as we were with other things, and the only illumination is what creeps in from the hallway. With her mane blocking any of it from falling over her face as she looms over me, something funny happens. A conspiracy of shadows makes it look, just for a single fleeting moment, like she has a horn on her forehead. Which is ridiculous; Fire Brand is an earth pony, not a unicorn. Where have I seen a unicorn who looks like her, though?
It hits me a few seconds later. The changeling that I followed back to their hive looked like a unicorn version of Fire Brand. I try to sit up, but she’s more than strong enough to hold me where I am, trapped and helpless. My efforts don’t even budge her.
If she told me right this second that she were a changeling, I wouldn’t be able to do a single thing about it. She opens her mouth, and for a second I imagine she’s going to say exactly that. “Wow, Cloud,” she says instead, “that must have been more of a workout than I thought. Your heart’s pounding.”
“Get off.” I squeeze my eyes shut, which does exactly nothing against the mental images racing through my head.
“Oh, I fully intend to.”
“No, Fire Brand, get off of me.”
Her weight vanishes off of my chest, and I feel her settle beside me. “Sorry. Don’t know my own strength sometimes.”
I open my eyes again, and the image of that unicorn mare is gone. It’s just Fire Brand beside me again. My friend, not some monster. This time, anyway. I smile at her, but she’s frowning back. I lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek before I roll over and climb out of the bed. “Sorry, I’m really tired tonight. This was fun, but I think I’ll sleep better in my own bed.”
A quick trip to her bathroom to splash some water on my face, and when I return she’s still wrapped in the sheets and watching me. “You’re leaving already? Cloud, are you okay?”
Why do ponies keep asking me that today? “I’m fine. Like I said, just a little bit run down. I’ll make it up to you next time, promise.”
She doesn’t look all that convinced, but she doesn’t stop me as I turn and go. I exhale a deep breath I didn’t realize I was holding when I’m finally out of her house, and take a moment on the sidewalk to collect myself. It’s after sundown, and the only light are a few streetlamps pushing back against the darkness. The shock of going from pressed against a warm body out into the cold chases away my earlier euphoria, leaving only a dull, aching weariness in its place.
I’m not sure if I’ll be able to sleep any better tonight than I did last night. But I plod my way home wanting nothing more than to try.