Saturday
I'm alone. That is who I am. Alone. I shouldn't have put faith into these ponies. Alone. Why, oh why can't they leave me? Why must I always be... so.... alone. Perhaps it is just cruel fate. Perhaps I am not meant to have such companionship. Perhaps I should stop trying. Stop running. Face my debt, and accept my fate. But, whenever I think of such things, I always see her face. Looking at me. Peering into my heart, and what used to be my soul. Emptiness now, loneliness is the only comfort I can, and will receive. I flew, away, far, far away. Farther than Ponyville, farther than the Everfree forest. I landed in a cold, desolate land. I try to forget, forget my terrible crime, try to forget my old life in Ponyville, and my old friends, and... her. I try to forget, but... I can't. My eyes are drawn in that direction, and they cannot stray far from it. I drop my head, and scream as loudly as I can, but only hear a soft, hush voice. It brings a tear to my eye, and I stamp on the ground as hard as I can.
Thursday
Nothing. There is nothing left for me. No security, nor comfort, only nothing. I wander through the icy, barren wasteland, eating any scraps of the remains of a beautiful field of grass. I shut my eyes, and see that field, with the creek running along side of it, and the bridge over the creek, and the cottage that the bridge led to, and when they are open, my smile fades, and I see nothingness. Nothing but the frozen land, nothing but me. I try to forget, but always remember. I remember what I lost, my friends, family, homes, security, comfort..... loves. I also remember why I cannot return. I am a threat. Something that mothers tell their young fillies of, before they go to bed. I used to chuckle at that thought, but now I only smirk. I am just the boogeyman , I fairy tale, that will also soon be forgotten. Everypony believes I am a brutal killer. I murdered a whole family in Canterlot. Nopony believes my story, nopony wants to hear the other story, only if it agrees with their perception. I guess that is the cruel justice of it all. I can't keep running though. I have broken too many hearts, too many lives shattered, but, none more than mine. That last town, was the last town.
Wednesday
Final Log
I visit often. I know the final instruction I was given, was to stay away. But, this is the only thing that will make me smile any more. It is one comfort, I must risk. I have shed my shell of self pity, and replaced it with acceptance. I look through the trees. I see her, her friends. I want to burst out, and throw her into my arms, but I can't. I think she feels me there too. I can tell from her expression (I was very good at reading people) that she had a sense of longing. She also had a sense of ease, and rest. Like she finally was happy I had found peace. I had. But, I am still alone. I still see nothing. That is who I am. I am a lonely colt, who is not lonely at all, who sees nothing, yet sees everything.
Thanks for reading.